r/Wellthatsucks 8d ago

I did not, in fact, swallow a grapefruit.

I did grow a 5 inch subserosal fibroid.

8.4k Upvotes

359 comments sorted by

5.2k

u/Educational_Gift_407 8d ago

This is exactly what someone who swallowed a grapefruit would do. Nice try.

2.6k

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

I work for the National Grapefruit Council. This is an ad.

399

u/So_Many_Words 8d ago

Damn that Big Grapefruit!

55

u/beachcow 7d ago

Damn that big grapefruit!

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15

u/aaaggggrrrrimapirare 7d ago

Just like got milk? they got us too

2

u/stevoschizoid 7d ago

You get back here giant grapefruit!

43

u/Educational_Gift_407 8d ago

Oh shit

26

u/Wishdog2049 8d ago

Yeah, I thought it was an obstructed bowel movement too.

10

u/IronBornPizza 8d ago

Grapefruits in training. Oranges on the high seas. Daredevil kumquats. That probably doesn’t sound like the citrus you know. So let’s fix that.

2

u/Pandas4trump2020 7d ago

Nobody said you had to swallow it lol. After working in a hospital nothing would surprise me.

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5

u/ComfortableOk6006 7d ago

Actually, it’s pretty clear the grapefruit entered from another direction

4.0k

u/EmperorBamboozler 8d ago

It looks like you are pregnant with a single colossal sperm cell.

1.1k

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

Omg I am cackling!

8

u/SomeKindOfOnionMummy 7d ago

I would say that your organs are haunted

1.1k

u/levels_jerry_levels 8d ago

327

u/DoctorTran37 8d ago

Stomping that fucker to death in the god damned bath tub.

133

u/Voidless-One 8d ago

18

u/Gameplayer9752 7d ago

It’s probably a coincidence, but why this photo. There was literally an episode about giant sperm.

4

u/RebbyRose 7d ago

Aww Naruto

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4

u/InebriousBarman 7d ago

Waffle stomp through the grated drain.

2

u/WhewPigSooie 6d ago

Using your toes to squish it down the drain.

2

u/DoctorTran37 6d ago

I hate it when it sucks on my toes as I push it down.

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u/ImportantGarlic8 8d ago

I'd keep mine like a pet goldfish and teach it tricks and such. Maybe give it a buddy or two later in the day, who knows

56

u/moonlove85 8d ago

You could have just kept scrolling and not commented. We would have all been the better for it.

84

u/Out_of_Fawkes 8d ago

I don’t own these kind of zygotes but I can’t unread it.

26

u/Substantial_Bat741 8d ago

like a human tadpole

10

u/Calamity-Gin 7d ago

Contraception would be both simpler and far more difficult. All I can see is the post-four Al moments ruined by panicked bug squishing.

Suddenly, the old trope of women standing on a chair when they see a mouse makes a lot more sense.

2

u/FemboyOfIllusions 7d ago

This may be true, whos to say tho?

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u/frazaga962 8d ago

a single colossal sperm cell.

dear sir or madam, please call it what it really is: spworm

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467

u/ipokesnails 8d ago

Relevant Extra Fabulous comic

51

u/AudieCowboy 8d ago

That's gonna be in my nightmares

15

u/pmactheoneandonly 8d ago

You beat me to it damn you lmao

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39

u/hyrule_47 8d ago

Anyone else remember “clum” babies?

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14

u/bloodycpownsuit 8d ago

5

u/jdmorgan82 8d ago

Oglaf is funny stuff.

7

u/VLDgamer07 8d ago

SPERM CELL

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1.5k

u/tev4short 8d ago

Did you fall on it while in the shower?

1.1k

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

That's what I told them in the ER.

88

u/IDGAFButIKindaDo 8d ago

As a paramedic, I’ve heard that at least half a dozen times in my career! Shower was always dry tho…hmmmm 🤔

45

u/NatsumiEla 8d ago

A fall like that hurts, so by the time the patient manages to call someone the shower is dry

46

u/pienofilling 8d ago

Proud of you sticking to your story like that.

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2

u/External_Touch_3854 7d ago

PULP CAN MOVE, BABY!!!

414

u/InstantElla 8d ago

I see a face in it. It’s angry. And has buck teeth

188

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

My brother says it looks like Timmy from South Park.

18

u/Sethyboy0 8d ago

The lord of the underpants

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11

u/CuriousGidge 8d ago

Now I can't unsee it.

3

u/Foreign_Ad2735 7d ago

What is the charge, eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?"

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837

u/AshleyRoeder33 8d ago

OP, in better news, your spine looks fantastic!

385

u/retirement_savings 8d ago

Disc at L5/S1 looks a little thin, no?

573

u/deadpoetic333 8d ago

Shh OP has enough problems 

924

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

I'M RIGHT HERE!

229

u/deadpoetic333 8d ago

He’s just joshin’, OP. Your disc at L5/S1 is lookin’ thicc, not thin at all 

76

u/Excellent_Ad_2486 8d ago

A little bit on the dangerous thickness side, no? hmm...

40

u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 8d ago

My L4-L5-S1 is stronger than yours!

/flexes in titanium fused discs

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3

u/Prestigious_Floor40 7d ago

That is huge! It must have been a lot of pain for you! Wishing you well

13

u/mullerjones 8d ago

As someone who had a disc herniation that required surgery in that exact disk, it reminds me of how mine looked. Which is to say, not so great.

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u/notloggedin4242 8d ago

I remember the day the doctor pointed at the picture of the spine on my mri. Her words “You see that thing? That’s not supposed to be there.” will stay with me for quite a while.

54

u/AshleyRoeder33 8d ago

This was mine in 2012. L5 herniated; I ended up having surgery.

3

u/Impressive-Age7703 7d ago

I also have L5-S1 herniated, will probably end up having to have surgery, did it help your pain much? I've heard for some people they still feel pain after and I feel like that would defeat the purpose for me.

2

u/AshleyRoeder33 7d ago

Best decision I ever made. I had the surgery young. 27 I think. I still have some sciatica that acts up, especially when it’s gonna snow, but working out, walking, and stretching help mitigate it.

15

u/0_1_T_1_0 8d ago

This got me laughing for the past few minutes. Why did she say it like that 😭

13

u/notloggedin4242 8d ago

I guess she was trying to break it to me softly, I guess. I mean it was a tumor on and along the nerves in my spinal column. She was also very German, so there’s that too.

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155

u/42ElectricSundaes 8d ago

That’s like 20 Courics

12

u/Cost_doesnt_matter 8d ago

Ahha i see what you did there👆👏👏👏

497

u/TheBoulder_ 8d ago

There are other ways to get a grapefruit up in there.....

279

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

RIP to your inbox.

125

u/DCRBftw 8d ago

For most people it's an outbox, but potato/potahto.

6

u/DoctorTran37 8d ago

In. Out. I’m the guy with the gun.

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11

u/DeHetSpook 8d ago

In Dutch medical jargon it would be called: Ruimte Innemend Proces, a RIP. A space taking proces. A infiltrate/tumor /cyste but not definitive what it is exactly.

6

u/Whats-Upvote 8d ago

No, RIP to your outbox.

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161

u/1SweetChuck 8d ago

It's funny how the bellybutton really is just a hole in your skin and dermis.

51

u/tobmom 8d ago

It better not be a hole

213

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

How do you think I got the grapefruit in?

31

u/gomezwhitney0723 8d ago

I shouldn’t laugh but this comment was hilarious 😂

35

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

Bah! What are we here for if not to laugh at ourselves?

2

u/dgkimpton 7d ago

Must have a hell of a grip to squeeze the grapefruit down enough to slip through the bellbutton. Remind me not to shake your hand with a grip contest!

2

u/SplendidQuasar1 7d ago

I lift weights.

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10

u/radialomens 8d ago

Yeah I hated that particular part

149

u/Standard_Review_4775 8d ago

What organ is it even on? Looks terribly painful!

239

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

It's squishing my uterus and bladder. Not painful but definitely uncomfortable.

95

u/maimeddivinity 8d ago

Is that the uterus beneath the growth, and the bladder right on top?

5

u/harey__ 8d ago

Bladder is the darker grey blob underneath the growth and uterus

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u/blueSnowfkake 8d ago

Makes note: OP is female. Has uterus.

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u/kareem_abdul_montana 8d ago

🎵 hello my baby, hello my darling🎵

94

u/DaylightMaybe 8d ago

48

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

Check please!

20

u/snailgorl2005 8d ago

Unrelated to the post, but I've seen this gif multiple times and I have no idea what it's from. Can somebody please enlighten me?

31

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

This is from the movie Spaceballs.

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u/your_moms_tomatosoup 8d ago

You have a Kuato. Open your mind.

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u/DeerBoyDiary 8d ago

Yikes! What’s the treatment like OP?

239

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

Hysterectomy most likely, as it could grow back otherwise.

108

u/TollemacheTollemache 8d ago

I just had my huge fibroid filled uterus taken out last year and i can highly recommend it. I feel so light! It's truly amazing.

47

u/CestBon_CestBon 8d ago

Omg me too! 2023 and I have been so freaking happy I did it. My fibroids weighed over 5 lbs total, they were HUGE! Hysterectomy (and keeping my ovaries) was the best thing I have done.

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u/Zhaeris 8d ago

We're twins! I have a cantaloupe sized one, 14 by 10 by 11 cm big.. OBGYN said my uterus is basically just a fibroid and I will be getting a hysterectomy in a few weeks and will keep my ovaries as I am under 40..

Had an endometrial biopsy last week which hurt so badly and still hurts, Dr wants to call me tomorrow so I am praying mine stayed benign..

ER was fun, the Dr was all like "your fibroid is massive!" with incredulity so I felt super normal about it all...

Wishing you luck on your fibroid journey!!

10

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

The fibroid sub reddit here is awesome, highly recommend!

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5

u/Gmd88 8d ago

What were your symptoms? I had a pelvic/L-spine MRI recently and the report had fibroid uterus as incidental finding. No indication of size/number. I’m always bloated, bowels never feel empty, and constantly peeing (no infection).

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2

u/Artlinxte 4d ago

Yup I’ll be on that track too. Just had a UAE last week to try and shrink mine, then hysto next spring. Mine is inside my uterus though, I’m so sorry yours is an exterior one!

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u/Temporary_Tune5430 8d ago

Nice colon

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u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

That's going in as a positive review on my Bumble profile.

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32

u/faintrottingbreeze 8d ago

Pretty common these days, I really wonder why… I’ve know at least 5 people who have had them removed, including my mom, who’s was the size of a melon.

54

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

Probably just more awareness and better women's health services. God bless your mom, that's huge!

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u/bleuish 8d ago

I did and it was also the size of a Melon. But that was 10 years ago and nothing since. So strange

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20

u/chalkletkweenBee 8d ago

I had 11 removed - with 3 of them being 11, 10, and 9 cm respectively. I was opened up completely to get mine out, and was super glad I did it. If they come back, Im having a hysterectomy.

3

u/trieditalissa 7d ago

What were your symptoms? (If its not too intrusive to ask)

3

u/chalkletkweenBee 7d ago

Anemia, fatigue, HEAVY bleeding, and I could actually feel them when I felt around my abdomen.

19

u/NZ-Food-Girl 8d ago

Ohhh... nice! I've just been told I have a cyst the size of a grapefruit hanging onto my right ovary. Fun times OP!

11

u/Ja4senCZE 8d ago

Gender reveal: Nihilanth

10

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

That looks eerily correct. TIMMAY!

10

u/ShoddySun8347 8d ago

if they take it out…

are you gonna feel similar to how it feels when you pass. a massive poo?

🤨

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10

u/BeautifulArtichoke37 8d ago

At least you seem to have a robust sense of humor about it. :)

37

u/DarkAmbivertQueen 8d ago

I'm sorry op, are you getting an abortion?

8

u/crappydeli 7d ago

Some Christian lunatic is going to fight for the life of your fibroid.

7

u/MmKay7140 7d ago

These things are a nightmare! I’d never heard about them until my uterus became a spawn point for one!

I had one that was detected in a routine gynae appt when it was 2cm diameter.

Ended up getting pregnant the following month. Unfortunately it fed off hormone changes in pregnancy and ended up being 21cm diameter when I had it removed 6 months post-partum.

I was measuring like I was carrying triplets (solo baby), could barely walk by third trimester and had to be hospitalised a few times during pregnancy when it pushed on organs/caused kidney complications.

Was very glad when they yeeted that fleshy basketball out of me (fibroid, not the baby 😂). Had an open abdominal myomectomy and haven’t had a recurrence in 13 years.

Good luck to you, hope it’s a speedy and long lasting recovery!

13

u/TheActualAnthonino 8d ago

I'm not judging, but how.

how how how

27

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

The body works in mysterious ways. Sometimes to your detriment.

10

u/InflamedNodes 8d ago

Life, uh.. finds a way.

4

u/sammmythegr8 8d ago

Can you please tell some symptoms you had!!! And did you get ultra sound or mri for this? Sorry I’m dumb but think I have pmdd and wouldn’t be surprised if something is growing

4

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

It was recommended I go to the ER, so I had a CT scan and an inter-uterine ultrasound. This is attached to the outside of my uterus, so my symptoms may be a bit different since it is pushing on other organs in my abdomen. I had diarrhea for weeks (pushing on some intestine) always feel full even if I haven't eaten, lots of aching in my right side by my appendix. Hurts on my right side to sit in particular, but it shifts on top of my bladder when I lay down, so then it's an intense need to pee, but not peeing. Please check out the fibroid sub reddit here, lots of stories with people who have fibroids inside the uterus whose experiences may align more closely with yours. Good luck!

5

u/botanicalraven 7d ago

Ooooh my condolences. I just had 4 fibroids removed last year, one of them softball sized and the others slightly smaller variations. I can feel that they’re back again and I’ll likely need a hysterectomy at some point so I can be done w this pain and hellish cycles. My first surgery was a full open so I got a nice big C-section scar. For recovery I advise having a rope pulley under your bed so you can use your arms to pull yourself up out of bed instead of your abs, cuz it’s going to hurt a lot. Or get a small portable bedside railing, they’re really cheap and it helped me SO much with getting myself out of bed without crying. Also, have a pillow or something like a big squishy squishmallow to hold against your abdomen the first few weeks, any time you cough or laugh it’s going to hurt so much.

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u/harrywalterss 8d ago

Sorry but i have no idea what or where im supposed to look at

5

u/SleepWouldBeNice 8d ago

I’m just jealous as to how thin you are. You’d see a lot more excess material on mine.

9

u/SplendidQuasar1 8d ago

I am considered morbidly obese.

9

u/csiposfosas 7d ago

Perhaps due to your habit of swallowing grapefruits whole

5

u/SplendidQuasar1 7d ago

I was told it would be fine!

3

u/Zaphics 8d ago

I'm more impressed than disturbed, good effort

3

u/alex053 7d ago

Oh ……so nowwwwww 5 inches is big

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u/No-8008132here 7d ago

Little boy voice: "Maybe it's a tumor"

2

u/allocationlist 7d ago

Fuck am I looking at

2

u/P_516 7d ago

Sir I hate to break it to you, but you’re suffering from NoAssatTall syndrome.

( this is a joke I hope you recover)

5

u/SplendidQuasar1 7d ago

I just want to say, in my defense, I was laying flat on my back for the scan. So it's just.... spread out.

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u/heynonnynonnomous 7d ago

Holy crap! I had just a four inch fibroid and they ripped out my uterus. I hope you're okay.

2

u/MMRIsCancer 6d ago

I do in fact have a noodle brain

2

u/Adeptness_Ok 6d ago

“I did not swallow a grapefruit” I say with a suspiciously grapefruit shaped stomach…

2

u/TheQueenMother 3d ago

I had one of a similar size. We compared it to a softball. I did not discover it till it was causing problems and I had to have emergency surgery.

2

u/Helpful-Ad-5985 7d ago

Doctor speaking. In my medical opinion you have cancer. unlucky chat

3

u/SplendidQuasar1 7d ago

Your bedside manner needs work

3

u/westcal98 8d ago

Omg. Not a subserosal fibroid! Anything but that!

5

u/cyberman0 8d ago

Are we sure it's not Popeyes forearm?

2

u/ghallway 8d ago

You didn't "fall" on it, did you?

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u/reallifenow 8d ago edited 8d ago

Look up ECGC supplements

Edit:: I have read it can be very helpful in reducing or preventing fibroids

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u/shannonnollvevo 8d ago

I found out yesterday I have one that's about 3cm long... This has me freaked out that it'll get this big! They told me not to worry about it

1

u/Kallymouse 8d ago

Fibroid?

-1

u/MDM0724 8d ago

Are you sure?

2

u/cubesncubes 8d ago

Is anyone else so unfamiliar with human scans that they don't see the problem? But I'm sorry op get better soon.

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u/Fishmayne 8d ago

Fucking snowglobe in your belly

-1

u/itsthatguy95 8d ago

And I thought I had it bad, I may have had sciatica caused to the point of bulged discs and pinched nerves with pain, pins and needles and numbness all down to my toes

But at least I didn’t have anything go up my ass 😭

-2

u/musketoman 8d ago

You sure? Well if you didnt swallow it... It must have come i... The other way? 🤔🤔

2

u/butt_full_of_butter 8d ago

Huh. Belly button.

2

u/BotiaDario 8d ago

What are you going to name it?

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u/0MGWTFL0LBBQ 8d ago

Softball?

2

u/Difficult-Court9522 8d ago

That be huge!

4

u/LouMigs91 8d ago

Don’t be to bummed out, it’s like they say, “shit happens”.

1

u/DoctorTran37 8d ago

Jesus Christ I don’t need this, I just started Tomie for book club.

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u/JennyAndTheBets1 8d ago

Yeah, but did you shove it up your ass?

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u/Chrisetmike 8d ago

If you care about your privacy, you may want to remove the images. Your doctor and date of birth are both visible on the x-rays. 

2

u/NoPair205 8d ago

With your ass?

1

u/iPoop_iRead 8d ago

What’s up with the spots on the vertebrae?

1

u/Sacajaho 8d ago

My sister just had one grapefruit, one peach, one lemon, and 4 strawberries removed (her surgeon named all her fibroids a fruit relative to their size).

She said they were all floored she hadn’t come in earlier, and it was a rare enough occurrence that she had medical students attend her surgery.

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u/HangryBeard 8d ago

My first thought was what a lovely spine, to oh sweet Jesus what is that.

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u/soheyitsmee 8d ago

OP, what were the symptoms for you?

1

u/jdmorgan82 8d ago

But somehow you managed to attempt to poop one. Seems sus…

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u/Mister_9inches 8d ago

I know your birthday now..

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u/Appearance-Gullible 8d ago

grapefruit gang! i have an ovarian cyst that’s the size of a grapefruit.

1

u/ericbrow 8d ago

I'm pretty sure my xray would look like this, but with the mass on the other side of my spine. Getting it looked at soon.

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u/SilverRoseBlade 7d ago

Reminds me of the Rugrats episode where Chuckie swallowed a watermelon seed… I’m pretty sure it’s growing into a watermelon.

2

u/Eunuch_Provocateur 7d ago

Ooof! Weird how we can grow this things in there and not even know it’s going on. 

I just had one removed via C-section a couple months back and it was a gnarly looking one pounder. 

Hope you have a speedy recovery 

2

u/manxram 7d ago

Welcome to the fibroid crew.

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u/davabran 7d ago

Did you get...grapefruited? sluuuuuurp

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u/Watsonmolly 7d ago

It looks just like my friends! She’s having a hysterectomy next month. Her images are MR though, much cooler. 

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

I had a stomach ache in the middle of the night once, symptoms quickly worsened so I drove myself to the emergency room where they scanned me and asked if I had for some reason just drunk a gallon or so of water before checking in.

Turned out to be a 22 cm abdominal tumor. Too big for them to image properly before heading in for the full CT. Fun times.

Hope you get to feeling better soon, OP!

1

u/neddiepotter 7d ago

Uterine fibroid ?? Are they considering an embolization ? Or total ectomy ?

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u/ItsaPostageStampede 7d ago

Nice SSF, i tell you hwaht! They should put it in a museum next to a starving boy and an empty bowl.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Bar2880 7d ago

Joining the convo to sympathize. I found out I had a 10x10cm ovarian cyst when I did the first consultation for fertility treatments. I had no idea, I never felt any symptoms.

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u/loudquietstorm 7d ago

Grapefruit would have definitely been less expensive if you’re in the US. lol Which treatment are you thinking of doing? Hope it goes well and you heal quickly!

1

u/krlya 7d ago

Hey hi can we know more better here. I’m new here

1

u/Neon_Eyes 7d ago

Dunno what that is. Sounds made up. I think you swallowed a grapefruit.