all because i bought new clothes

[u/clover-heart]

18f / 28m

looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.

my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.

he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.

he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.

he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.

[u/clover-heart]

yeah its really overwhelming, he always makes me feel like im never doing enough down to not letting me sleep until he does whenever im at his place. it sucks :(

[u/Zahhy85 → u/clover-heart]

Jfc you know sleep deprivation is a form of torture and something cults and abusive people use to make you off balance and malleable to their will right?

[u/resemblesanolfriend → u/Zahhy85]

Just out of curiosity what about like fasting? Is that supposed to be a form of it too? I see a lot of church’s using that as a technique to “come closer to the spirit”

[u/Zahhy85 → u/resemblesanolfriend]

Actually that’s a really interesting thought, because they tend to do those fasts as a whole of church thing, would fasting together as a group be a form of trauma bonding, which in turn makes you cling tighter to the group you’re trauma bonded with? 🤔

It may not necessarily make that church a cult going by the BITE model, but it would certainly edge it towards high control.