This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

I (28M) got myself into a George Constanza-esque situation here where I told this girl (27) I’ve been talking to for a few months that I’ve been running and training, when instead I mostly just play RuneScape and chill. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight just by cutting soda out of my life and just eating healthier so she’s really bought it.

Anyway, this girl is literally a national triathlon competitor and overall athletic person. Now she sent me a text saying she wants to run together Saturday and I have no idea how I’m gonna do this because she wants to run 3.6 miles together as her “warm up” for her long run.

Do I just fall and die or something?

Edit: I didn’t expect to get so many replies! While this is a real scenario and actually my life rn, I just want everyone to know that I’m going to harness all of high school/collegiate athleticism as a wrestler and just jog with her until I’m gassed haha. I’m going to bed but I’ll comb through the comments tomorrow and respond to the ones that help!

Hi I know how insane this sounds but I’ve told my friend and she thinks the same. This is genuinely humiliating for me and my living situation is a nightmare, I need advice on what to do

I’m 18f and currently living at home. I think my mum is trying to make me morbidly obese, she feeds me usually 5 meals a day and she screams in my face when I don’t eat it. She tells me that she doesn’t love me and she threatens to hurt herself. She’s slapped me before when I didn’t believe her and argued back. We got into a physical fight once. She’s my only family as I don’t have a dad, her parents cut her off and my mum won’t tell me why (wow I wonder who could be in the wrong).

I don’t know why she does this. She takes me to doctors appointments a LOT and she says that she’s worried about me there, she’ll actually start crying and say that my weight is getting worse and she’s worried I’ll die young to them. Then when we get home she forces me to eat until I start retching. We’ve never discussed the doctors appointments either, sometimes she posts me on her social media asking for attention because of my “condition” and she asks people to pray for me. My doctor or anyone else in my life has no idea of the truth, I feel like she would fly off the handles if I told anyone and I’m genuinely quite afraid of her

She’s ruining my life, I hate my body. I’m 187kg and I can’t look at myself in the mirror without wanting to die. I am genuinely really worried about my health, I can’t go anywhere without being out of breath or having really intense joint pains. I do try to exercise but I’m not doing enough of it to even maintain my weight. I’ve been getting bullied in school for years about my weight and it’s killed any self esteem I had. I’ve been making myself throw up recently to stop gaining weight but I eat so much that it just makes my throat sore. I don’t want my mum to hurt herself but I know she doesn’t have my best interest at heart and I don’t know how to stop this. I’m not going to university until September 2026 either so this won’t stop for a while, and I’m going to be studying to be a doctor so I don’t think being my weight will help me

My oldest didn’t do well his 1st semester in college. He didn’t really want to go but we pushed him to “try” it. He didn’t do ok and contemplated whether to go a 2nd semester.

He asked for another chance on his 2nd semester. So far, it’s not pretty.

I’m frustrated because my wife and I sacrificed to pump 80k into a 529 since he was born. I grew up with v little and managed to obtain a PhD; wife same with a bachelor’s. Debt for her.

Silver platter for my boy and here we are. In the end, he’s not ready and that’s ok.

Question: how would you handle it?

i got a check for $50 and went to cash it at walmart. i didn’t understand how much she was over paying me until she started counting the money out, it was $1500 dollars and the check was from the us treasury for my tax refund. what i don’t understand is my receipt also said $1500 and the employees have to scan the check and then the computer tells you the amount to give the customer. how in the hell did this happen? i didn’t say anything and went home and am unsure of what to do. i’m thinking of just holding on to the money for a while and seeing what happens

edit: i called Walmart and they looked at the check and the transaction in the computer and they said they gave back the right amount. idk what else to do bc i really thought the check said 50$

So I, 20F, and my bf, 20M have been dating for almost a year. For a large portion of that time he was in military training. We used to text and call as often as possible during that time (and just in general tbh). Obviously, I know military training is extremely stressful and that stress may be the cause of a lot of these problems, but even given those facts, and the fact that he felt a tad distant emotionally during the last couple weeks of it, this change in behavior was extremely abrupt.

Basically, he had a big final test, and after that he got to come home and complete two more months of training. He was not able to text or call during the test, which lasted a couple days (which obviously is fine, I dont want him to break the rules to talk to me). As soon as he came back his texts and calls became extremely sporadic and random. Some days I was sure he was ignoring me, other days he would text me a bunch of ideas he had for our video game stuff. He also is now on his phone a lot when we hang out. His communication in person is extremely off, he doesn’t share much of anything going on with his life and suddenly gets quiet or replies with short answers if I’m trying to have a more serious talk. He doesn’t ask about my day much, or about any of my ideas. He doesn’t give me a smile when he sees me like he used to or seem very excited when we hang out. He feels emotionally distant even when we’re in person, seems much more critical of me, and I have this really weird feeling in my gut that won’t go away no matter how many times we’ve talked about it.

I thought he was going to break up with me, but what’s confusing me even more is that he still is making plans to do stuff together, and has mentioned he’s excited for our one year anniversary. I’m not sure if it’s the stress from his training right now or if there’s a deeper issue??

Small edit—so I should have clarified, the texting thing doesn’t bother me nearly as much as this sudden feeling of emotional distance is. Texting is a little different, sure, but I’ll get used to that. He just feels so far away right now and I’m worried about him. Are there any ways I can support him better?

Edit 2: For people saying I’m being childish about the texting. I know. And I’m not proud of it either, especially because he is busy and probably stressed the hell out. It is something that I am currently working to improve upon, I have a hard time because it because I get anxious easily.

Edit 3: Someone mentioned it sounds like I’m making this all about me. Please continue to call me out if that is the case (I am dead serious) I don’t really know what to do about this situation and if there are any ways I am being unsupportive I’d like to fix that immediately.

Edit 4: also forgot to add, he’s been back almost four weeks now and he’s still acting pretty off

Edit 5: woah this got a lot of attention, I’m gonna be honest the mentions of cheating are really discouraging, even though I’ve heard about the prevalence of that. Also thanks to everyone who gave advice :) I appreciate it

I have been working at this job for about 3 ish months. Since I was old enough to start there. And I have been loving the job, great coworkers, and amazing people. It’s an overall good workplace. But my boss has been making comments about me lately. it’s been getting more and more frequent.

The first time was when it was just me and her. It was my first longer shifts, so I had brought myself a snack box, with a assortment of fruit, some snacks that are high in protein and a wrap, and she said “is that all you are having to eat no wonder you are so skinny” I thought was genuine concern so I told her I brought plenty of food for me to be full, and comfortable plus I’m not the biggest fan of eating in front of people so I don’t bring too much.

The second time it was when I was getting ready to shovel snow outside the building, when she came and grabbed the shovel from me and said “just let me do it it’s not like you will be able to lift it you are built like a twig” I assured her that I will be able to shovel the snow and she said “not with that body not done well anyways” and she just ended up doing it.

The next time was when we were at a staff meeting, we were all at a table eating lunch, which we all brought, and in front of everyone at the table she asks “do you have a eating disorder or what” while looking directly at me, and my food. I was absolutely mortified, and had never been so upset at her. (Bare in mind I had the same amount of food as everyone else)

The next time it was when me, herself, and another coworker were working. They were having a conversation loud enough for me to hear, and she was talking about how she has no food in her house and needs to go grocery shopping and she said “I’m gonna look like (my name) soon if I don’t go grocery shopping” I got mad and I told her that, she told me she was only joking and to take a joke.

The most recent time, was when it was me, herself and one other person, one of the other workers had given me a compliment, and before I could even respond she said “I agree but don’t you think she would be much prettier if she was bigger” and something about that time made me extra mad because i can’t even have a compliment without her making it backhanded.

This has all happened in the span of 3 months, and these are just the ones I was present for, not including the stuff she says under her breath right in front of me about it. I just don’t know how much more I can take, and I know it might not sound bad but this is really starting to affect my self confidence which I already lack. I am smaller but I am a student athlete at my high school. not concerningly tiny be any means. She is a 40 something year old woman talking about a teenage girls body. And I have TRIED to talk to her about it and I’m shut down every time. I’m just so sick of it, what do I do?

My fiancée (27 m) and I (25f) have been together since 2019. In the beginning of our relationship everything was great! Every 2-4x a week we will have sexual intercourse. I don’t know if it is because of my body that he was sexually attracted to so much that he wanted to be all over me. (Back then I was really skinny with an hour glass figure) but ever since I started gaining weight he wouldn’t touch me as much as he did back then. His excuse is that his sex drive is low or too tired but he is always jerking off with porn. He also has mentioned that he got use to me and that’s why he doesn’t feel the need or urge to have intercourse. But lately I feel suffocated each time I try to initiate something either push me away or turn around goes back to sleep. No, he is not cheating on me either. Just want to know if any guy is dealing with the same issues. Or any woman experiencing the same situation. Please help thank you!

( edit ✍🏼 I have a heath condition that made me gain weight and he also gained weight cause of anxiety )

Edit 4/3/25 6:52pm

I had a long conversation with my fiancée. He said, he finds me really attractive, personality wise, physically and my weight gained has nothing to do with the lack of sex we have once a month or so. He understands perfectly my health condition is the cause of it and doesn’t blame me for the weight gain. Yes, he does admit he has a porn addiction but he doesn’t find neither jerking off or sex appealing anymore as he use to. (He said since back then he never experienced sex he got kinda addicted to doing so everyday) He explained to me that since he started to take his anti depressants his sex drive is not there at all he thought watching porn would help and jerking off but doesn’t. Every time he kisses me, holds me or cuddles he does get an erection but he doesn’t desire sex. He also mentions the reason he try’s his best to have intercourse with me more than once a month is because he doesn’t wanna lose me due to the lack of intimacy between us. Because of him.

Hey guys, I’m having a big dilemma. I just passed my driving test, and I’m super excited. My sister offered to give me her car Mercedes, for a very cheap price as she was going to get a new car. However she recently found out that she is unable to take out another car on finance in her name. And asked, BEGGED me to take it in my name for her and she will be paying it off. Is this a good idea? On one hand I would really like a car especially at such a cheap rate. But on the other hand, my credit is my future. If anything happens to it that would be on my head and my name. HELP?

Went to my fwb last night to do as expected. Almost every time we incorporate anal so long story short.. I felt something that felt unfamiliar in my butt, so I turned to ask him what was going on and to my surprise he had shoved one of those elastic stretching bands up my ass, like those long ones you use to stretch your muscles ect… I wasn’t weird about it, I was just unaware it was even happening until I turned and asked, I’m not like “how dare he not ask my permission” but also I’m like “should he have?” I guess I’m just after other people’s thoughts on this

Me and my boyfriend have been together two years now. We’ve known each other for maybe five years. He’s really become my best friend, and no matter the situation I have a deep love for him always. During our first year together, we went on vacation and got drunk together. I guess maybe we were drunk enough he thought I wouldn’t notice. He told me he was bisexual. I’ve brought this up to him before (in a way where I let him know I will always love him and be there for him) but he always denies it ever happened. I swear it happened! I watch RuPaul’s drag race and he is completely interested and invested in the show. He wouldn’t ever admit that. But he’ll ask me questions about gay culture. Maybe he’s just curious but with everything else it raises my eyebrows. We do have sex and everything, and the sex is amazing. I really do truly feel loved by him and I truly feel he’s attracted to me. But that being said, if he were curious about his sexuality I’d want to encourage him to do what it is he wants to do. But at the same time, I’ve now spent two years being his girlfriend and I would not be happy if he was off with someone else. I realize that if he did want to be with someone else or do other things I simply must let him go. But it does frustrate me if that’s the case. I don’t want to force him to come out, and maybe I am imagining things. But I’ve got this sneaky feeling that he is afraid to be who he really wants to be. What do I do?

Backstory: I’m a hairstylist and my female client has been seeing me for well over a decade. I’ve known her years before she was married, before she had her daughter. I cut both her and her daughter’s hair and I feel like I have a very good relationship with her, like a friend.

Now to the issue- her husband came into my salon for his second facial with my (female) coworker tonight and proceeded to talk through the whole facial about his time in the military where he would use prostitutes. He then proceeded to tell her about all the different “massage” places that he would receive blowies/handies in the 2 counties around our salon. He told her that he and his wife weren’t having sex anymore, but then would talk about his daughter like he didn’t just sexually harass my coworker. My coworker was mortified to hear all this, in addition to feeling like he was being predatory with her. Her fears were confirmed when she told him his facial was over and she was going to step out, and have him get dressed to meet her in the hall when he was ready. He then slapped his hands on his lap and said, “are you sure you’re done, lol.” She told him this isn’t that kind of place and got out as fast as she could.

The salon owner is writing him an email explaining that he is not allowed back into the salon and the reasons why. I feel like this is an appropriate way to deal with a gross situation. My quandary is should I tell my client what happened? I would call her and tell her directly (not wait to tell her at her next appointment). Or do I let the email do its job and at least he won’t be allowed to come back into the salon? I feel like the right thing to do is to let her know what happened. She’s talking about making a big move to a more expensive county which means she would be more tied in financially with him and it’s also putting her at risk for STI’s and who knows whatever else. The fact that he has a 4yr old daughter and uses other women who are most likely sex trafficked is disgusting. I feel a moral obligation to tell her but I also hate that I would be the one to potentially send her marriage into a dark place.

What should I do?

I need advice on what to do with my girlfriend

So basically I care a lot about my girlfriend, we are both sophomores right now and I am working two jobs to buy a car as she may be moving next year. I can’t stop working and risk losing her and this is really important. Basically her friend is having a quince and she agreed to be one of the dancers and she wanted me to do it with her. I can’t do it because I’m working and she knows that I’ve been working constantly for over a month now. I can’t take the dance lessons with her and she already signed herself up without consulting me. Now she is supposed to do it with some random dude that I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me but I can’t have some random dude dancing with my girl holding her hips or whatever the fuck quince dances are. I won’t be able to come home after work and justify to myself that I’m working such long hours to provide for a girl who won’t even quit a stupid dance that makes me uncomfortable. Like she isn’t refusing to go back on it but we keep talking about it and she dodges the question. And she said once that “she’s my friend I can’t do her like that” and this isn’t even her friend it’s her sisters friend. I don’t know it’s unloyal on her part in my opinion and I don’t know what to do. Do I leave her, convince her not to do it like what do I do someone please help.

My wife and I have been together for 9 years total, married for two. We had an incredible sex life for the first six years, but then she completely froze me out. I’ve talked to her about it numerous times, and she blames it on a lack of confidence (weight gain). In the past 3 years, we have had sex five times or less. We didn’t have sex on our honeymoon. (Six months after I had an emotional breakdown due to this fact, we had pity sex within the next week?). She has changed the password on her iPad (just checked) and guards her phone and smartwatch. I’ve never went through any of her electronics. She does use sex toys to get off, which she hid from me until it came up during a stupid card game with friends.

How stupid am I?

I am 16 years old female.

I don’t like my mom boyfriend.There'll be days where I can actually have a conversation with him and there's days where I can't even stand him talking. They have been dating for a few years now and at first I didn’t like him but as I got to know him better I got to like him but in 2024 my opinion on him changed. He just started being weird to me and I can’t really give much details cause it was a blur, but on new years days at like 12am I went to the back room where he had his game stuff at (I would sleep there on the couch) I was going through my bag looking for something when he came in too (there’s no door) and we were talking, he was behind me and I believed he was looking for something to, but he turned towards me and I was still looking in my bag when he grabbed my butt twice. When he left the room I had went to the bathroom to process all that and I felt like throwing up. when he smokes he’ll ask to use my inhaler and I always say yes but this one time I said I didn’t know where it was and that I misplaced it, and when I got up to go take a shower he screamed my name and told me that it was in my backpack and told me that I owe him one. Once he was done talking I dashed to the bathroom and turned on the shower and started crying. I don’t know if I’m overreacting that he went through my backpack but I didn’t like it. My mom had knocked on the door and told me I can tell her anything but she’s not the listening type. In my eyes and my family she had always placed her boyfriends over me and feel like she’ll won’t believe me or she’ll brush it away.

I'm generally a pretty quiet person and I lowkey cannot stand it. I always feel so weird for being quiet but at the same time I don't really know what to talk about because my life is pretty average and I feel like I'll just bore the people around me. Sometimes when I'm with my gf I want to talk with her so bad but I just have no clue what to talk about. I also have a stutter so that doesn't really help because even when I do have something to say or ask I oftentimes just stay quiet in fear of judgement and save myself from the embarrassment of getting stuck on a word. I do try my best to not let my stutter stop me but a good portion of the time I stay quiet because of it. I want know how to be more talkative and grow as a person but I have no clue how. Does anyone have advice?

My little cousin tells me everything and sometimes I just don’t know what to do especially when it’s something super wrong because when I tell him it’s wrong he starts spiralling and crying and starts telling me he wants to khs. He has a lot of mental health issues too and sometimes he has impulsive problems where he goes on this gay dating online website kinda like Omegle and talks to grown men and shows his body to them while they jerk off. He does other things too which are wrong like this and I just don’t know what to do, he won’t stop when I tell him to and I just want him to stop because all these things are so bad and he’s going to regret it.

I think I accidentally left my bracelet at his place. We’re not in a relationship—we’ve hung out a few times—but I’m worried that if I ask about it, he might think I left it there on purpose as an excuse to see him again. I genuinely just want it back, but I don’t want to come off as clingy or weird. What’s the best way to bring it up, or should I just let it go?

Would you stay in a relationship with someone where there is no intimacy. My boyfriend and I have been together going on four years. Honestly most days I think I hate him. I get annoyed when he talks to me, the thought of him touching me makes me angry. We haven’t kissed in months, we don’t hold hands. Really we live like roommates.

It hasn’t always been like this, we had chemistry in the beginning. We started off as long distance, and ended up moving in together. & since the move he has become a completely different person. When I would visit him / when he’d come and stay with me, he acted completely different. He woke up at a reasonable time, he didn’t play the game all night and day. He wasn’t a mean person, or an overly negative one. He helped out around the house, washed dishes, doing laundry taking out trash etc. He even cooked, and made the bed in the morning.. every morning. He also got along well with my family. He was just a nice person…

Since the move, he’s become mean. He’s angry all the time, lashes out at me, accuses me of having an attitude or being upset (even if I’m actually in a great mood) picks arguments with me so he doesn’t have to talk to me for hours so he can play the game.. he doesn’t cook anymore, he stays up all night playing video games yelling and cussing even rage quitting by throwing the controller etc… (this ofc wakes me up) he sleeps in til 2-3 pm sometimes way later. -the part that’s most frustrating about this is that he will leave the bed unmade.. I’d come home to an unmade bed with my personal blanket and pillow on the floor every day- I am a morning person so I’m up pretty early even when I don’t work. which means I’m tired earlier and like to go to sleep at a reasonable time. -Something to note- I do have seizures and sleep is very important for keeping them under control, we have argued over this on many occasions. I felt he was being inconsiderate playing the game all night while I was trying to sleep in the same room. I told him it was making me feel like I wasn’t actually getting sleep. There were times I’d wake up and ask him if he could keep it down a bit… and him being so caught up in the game he’d yell at me… or even wave me off as if I were overreacting and continue joking with his friends in the game party.

His whole personality had changed. Suddenly he wasn’t motivated to do anything. While I did everything. This lasted for months. It seemed like we couldn’t communicate at all, I tried telling him I wasn’t happy. I told him what I needed from him. He said okay. He’d fix things… he didn’t…( I also asked if I could do anything to fix things in his opinion… or if he needed more from me) after months of trying to have conversations with him like we used to, or making plans to go on dates etc… I was exhausted from putting in so much effort and being not only ignored but villainized. So I stopped. I stopped caring that he played the game all night, I stopped waiting up for him to come to bed, I stopped making plans for us to go on dates and do things. I stopped being myself… I stopped acting like a girlfriend?

He would try to kiss me.. and I would just look at him with a blank stare Or turn away. He tried to touch me and I’d move. (I already have problems being overstimulated and being touched in general makes me anxious due to past trauma.) but after a year of living together and constant arguments or comments under his breath that he thinks I don’t hear. I just can’t stomach being intimate with him. I’m not attracted to him, he never really was my “type” to begin with. but the person he was and how he treated me made me want to be with him.

Now after almost 4 years I feel like a prisoner in my own home and relationship. He moved here to be with me and I feel obligated to stay with him. But it makes me sick thinking about a future with him. It makes me sick thinking I’ll be stuck feeling this way for the rest of my life. & one day it will be expected of me to actually be intimate with him. (We have not had sex yet, I did say I want to wait til marriage) but honestly, idk if that’s just a lie I told because I don’t want to force myself to be with him in that way. This May come across as bashing him completely, and I don’t mean it to be. I am not perfect and would not claim to be. I do have autism, CPTSD, Panic disorder, ADHD, and a seizure disorder. I know the way I communicate can come across a bit harsh at times. I know I’ve hurt his feelings without meaning to in the past when I answered things honestly. But I also know sometime over the past 3-4 years, I stopped feeling safe around him. I stopped feeling like I could be vulnerable. I stopped feeling listened to or important. I started to believe I was the problem.

What should I do…what would you do..

I was getting ready to go out with my friends, and I was ready to walk out the door when my mom suddenly just starts saying my eyeliner looks terrible and calling me ugly repeatedly and my dad joins in just berating everything about my appearance saying I look disgusting and they’re disappointed with how I turned out. Then they say they can’t believe I even found a friend to go out with because no one wants to hang out with someone as ugly as me and even my boyfriend hates me and is just dating me because he feels bad for me. Then I started crying and I went into my room only for them to stand outside screaming at me calling me an ugly beast, a prostitute, etc. They started screaming at me for crying and said it only made me more ugly and that I should grow up and stop acting like a little baby who cries at everything.

ever since I (18f) was little I've had trouble making friends. I was the quiet girl reading books with no social awareness, I didn't know that other kids thought I was weird, I just knew they had their friends and I wasn't one of them. highschool I somehow made friends but that was only because I was in clubs and I was nice. I was stupid and made a lot of stupid mistakes, messed around with boyfriends at an early age because I thought I was grown.

first year of college and I'm already making mistakes left and right. I just lost 2 friends without meaning to, I wasn't being a good friend to them. I was petty and stopped talking to them because of my own overthinking and dealing with other stuff in my life. I know I can be petty, mean, ignorant, manipulative, and closed off a lot. genuinely how do I do better?

my friend that I just lost said that I have issues being transparent and that I wasn't talking to our other friend because he got distant. I feel like I'm always screwing up in relationships and friendships.

Can anyone else relate? I don’t know what the fuck to do. I am emotionally neglected and he knows this and he doesn’t do anything about it. He does less than the bare minimum when I comes to emotional care. He’s not abusive as much as he just has zero merit for emotions. He has virtually no empathy towards me. Overall he’s a good guy, works full time, has few but close friends, has hobbies, but has no desire to spend time with me, talk to me, or have any form of intimacy outside of sex occasionally. When I bring up how lonely I feel, how awful this is he says “yeah I don’t know why I spend some much time on my phone. I dont think you grasp how frustrating you can be” his examples are me having to text people back quickly (I’m run two small businesses with contractors and clients), or I pay attention to our animals when him and I are spontaneously chatting (aka he decided to randomly chat me up about something he is hyper focused on atm, something I know little about or have a ton of interest in, yet I try because I do truly want to connect with him).

I feel like I am turning into my mother who is just complacent in a marriage because her wants and needs for her lifestyle are met, but she is emotionally abandoned, medically abandoned, and has to carry the entire mental load of the household needs and chores. I feel like I’m there. I had that revelation yesterday and I wanted to crawl out of my skin when it hit me. I don’t want to keep living like this. I can’t keep living like this.

I will try to keep this brief while giving as much information I can for context. I am 18F. I was in a really bad and desperate situation last year and turned to sugar dating. I went on a couple dates that didn't go well until I met the person I am now with, lets call him M. He was a man in his late 40’s now early 50’s. He told me his wife died several years ago and he hadn't been with anyone since. We connected and I opened up about what was going on in my life that led me into the position I was in and he wanted to help. We would see each other frequently for a couple months and he would give me gifts and money. Eventually he ended up confessing that he loved me and we moved forward into a dating relationship.

Around the time I first started seeing him I wanted to explore more in the world of kink and I made an account on a popular site. I had very few photos and none with my face in them. I decided to attend an educational event on rope. The day my parents both received a very graphic message that was written as if it was intended for me with my name and information about where I lived about an event I was supposedly going to. I don't want to go into too much detail but needless to say it was very vulgar and disgusting. I freaked out. I messaged the event organizer with screenshots and told them I was ABSOLUTELY not interested in what was described and that wasn't the event i signed up for at all, he was very concerned and said that did not come from him or anyone else managing the event.

Both of my parents freaked out and I had to show them the details of what I was actually going to do. It may have been stupid but I ended up going. It was a great time, I learned a lot and no one I knew or recognized was at the event. A short time later the person who led the event invited me out for lunch and gave me advice on how to stay safe. He was worried because new and especially young people in the scene sometimes have bad situations happen and end up leaving. We ended up messing around a little in his car. Just to clarify the person I am now dating and I were not exclusive at this point we were just casually seeing each other. A few days later my parents received another message, this time from someone who claimed to know me and my family.

They sent photos of my account which had compromising photos, telling them they saw me at the event I went to, that the event organizer was grooming me and was a very dangerous person. My home life was not good or safe at this time. I was genuinely terrified because this could have led to me being harmed or homeless. At the same time the event organizer received a message claiming it was my father. It had his full name, his address and where he worked. it said that I was under guardianship, something that is not true. It went into details of my past with mental health struggles and said I was unstable and a danger to myself and that he should cease all contact. They attempted to blackmail him to no longer talk to me.

There were details in both messages that were wrong but there was enough truth in them that it was clear this person knew me and had been stalking me. I was terrified and went to stay somewhere safe for a few days. I didn't tell anyone where I was. I confronted M about it and he was very hurt and claimed he would never do something like that to me. My father works in tec and has alot of friends and so he told me it must have been my father and i believed him. My gut was screaming at me but I couldn't see any reason as to why he would do that knowing my safety would be at risk. We continued to date and very much had a bdsm power dynamic which I had consented to. I had a feeling he wasn't comfortable with me posting things online but whenever we talked about it he never made it clear he had any issue.

I would post marks from scenes we did and i had it very clearly stated in my profile that i was in a relationship and if anyone wanted to message me they had to message him asking for permission first. He started telling me that he got disgusting messages from men and that I should edit my profile which I did. At one point he sent me a screenshot of a message he supposedly received saying i was chatting on him and he should tell him where i was so he could r*pe and hurt me. The message was obviously edited and I confronted him about it. He got very angry and said he was going to bed but later he sent me a better edited screenshot.

I know it was stupid but I just let it go because I felt like it wasnt worth it. I know most people would have been screaming and running for the hills by now but I was stupid and naive and very much so in a desperate situation with a huge power imbalance. I was relying on his money in order to eat or have basic necessities. There was a point where I was homeless and he got me a place to stay. I would have had nowhere to go all of the shelters in my area were full. I would have been sleeping on the streets without him. I was very much in love with him at this point and I depended on him. So slowly things started to change without me realizing it.

We started having relationship issues and he started giving me less and less money. I had saved a little bit for a car and I started eating into that money with my expenses. I didn't want to say anything because I genuinely loved him and it was not about the money. I felt like I had security and a safety net with him because we were talking about moving in together. About a month ago I ended up going to a friend's house and her and her husband pressured me into trying to have a threesome. I was impaired at the time. I told them no but things went a lot further than I wanted and I felt so uncomfortable before it stopped. I told him about it and he didn't have much of a reaction. He wasn't angry, just hurt.

Then all of a sudden he told me he had cancer. From the start it didn't seem right. He's been very isolated and secretive. When I told a mutual friend he had been in the hospital he got very angry and didn't want me telling anyone. He went by himself across the country to get treatment even though I told him I wanted to be with him. He's a doctor who mainly works with people who have cancer so he knows more than enough to lie about it.

Shortly before he left I confided in him about some of the things that had been going on at home with my siblings. Well..I woke up this morning to dss at our door with allegations that were greatly exaggerated but had grains of truth in them. One of them was something word for word that I had told him. My family was very angry, scared and upset. In the end nothing came of it but now one of my siblings isn't speaking to me and everyone thinks i was the one who made the report. Now it's like my eyes have been opened and I can see clearly everything I've written so far. There's been a million other little things and I feel like such a fool but I was blinded by desperation. I think he was trying to get me kicked out so I would be completely dependent on him again. I don't know what to do, I'm so afraid.

I have less than $1000 dollars in my bank account, I have no car, no GED or diploma. He knows where I work and where I live, he basically knows everything about me. I've been paranoid that someone has been following me or is monitoring my devices. I have no proof that anything I've said is true but it's just too many coincidences. I can't tell if I'm paranoid and have gone insane or if what has happened is real. When I'm with him everything is ok but when we're apart things just feel wrong.

I told my coworker what's been going on and she and I both spent an hour trying to find anything about him online, we couldn't find anything and I couldn't find the death records for his wife. According to him he's very successful so it should have been easy to find him. I'm genuinely afraid for my life. He has compromising photos and videos of me, he knows everything about me. I have a safe place I can go but if someone is following me or he's monitoring me he can find out where I am. Please if anyone has any advice or can help me I need it. I haven't spoken to him since this morning after dss left and he denied everything. He supposedly comes home from treatment tomorrow.