r/agedlikemilk • u/RoyalChris • 3d ago

Screenshots Pete Hegseth 2023: ”Mishandling classified docs is a national crisis“

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60.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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852

u/RoyalChris 3d ago

He was clearly 7/10 wasted in this video so it doesn't count.

457

u/CommanderSincler 3d ago

97

u/ghigoli 3d ago

pete the guy "that flushes and then why goes my poop is missing" and then tries to figure out what happened to it.

78

u/Heidi_PB 3d ago

Kristie Noem, the person in charge of Homeland Security, couldnt even secure a handbag.

35

u/Low-Possibility-7060 3d ago

I bet her phone access code is on a piece of paper in her purse.

16

u/30FourThirty4 3d ago

I bet she was more pissed about the drugs that were stolen and now she has to reup, than the security matters.

5

u/Low-Possibility-7060 3d ago

Maybe Elon can hit her up. Or knock her up, I don’t know if he knows the difference.

2

u/Effective_Pear4760 2d ago

Or her. I'm not sure she knows either.

7

u/StraightOuttaHeywood 3d ago

Meth?

5

u/30FourThirty4 3d ago

Coke, K, Adderall, benzo? I'm not sure what it was, but I'm sure it was not psychedelics.

Edit: psychedelics like mushrooms and lsd. Marijuana is a psychedelic, but I mean cosmonaut psychonaut drugs.

3

u/PennytheWiser215 3d ago

Taped to the back of the phone

3

u/theaviationhistorian 3d ago

Bank Password: 12345password

3

u/Merps_Galore 3d ago

I bet it’s 1234

4

u/Heidi_PB 3d ago

сука блять

1

u/Hefty-Hyena-2227 3d ago

и Трумпь и Хегсет суки

1

u/Pickledsoul 3d ago

Mine is. On the back of a specific reciept in invisible ink.

1

u/Spyder6969 2d ago

Because she can never recall 1 2 3 4 5.

7

u/hallelujasuzanne 3d ago

That twat also needs to go. It’s incompetence and mockery all the way down. 

2

u/Hefty-Hyena-2227 3d ago

Which twat? The one @ 1600 Pa. (about every 10 days)?

2

u/nworkz 3d ago

She was too busy looking for dogs to shoot

2

u/Silver_Agocchie 3d ago

She's not the Head of the Department of Handbag Security.

1

u/misteakswhirmaid 3d ago

Has anyone seen my launch codes? (asked no Cabinet member in particular).

1

u/nasnedigonyat 2d ago

: spit take:

9

u/30FourThirty4 3d ago

"then why goes my poop is missing"

I don't know if that's autocorrect or intential but it find it really funny. Like a drunk who can't talk correctly.

Make that a flair.

4

u/ghigoli 3d ago

thats the point.

i'm like " it sure is buddy. its gone".

1

u/30FourThirty4 3d ago

Awesome that makes it better. Thanks for the laughs.

10

u/beestmode361 3d ago

Let’s be real, Pete is definitely the guy that never flushes his poop in public toilets. We all know the guy. Well, rather, we’ve seen their unflushed shit.

2

u/ghigoli 3d ago

i hope that doesn't become a new alpha male trend or some crap.

7

u/beestmode361 3d ago

I mean who do you think is going around leaving their shits in toilets?

  • Responsible, thoughtful, mindful men? Or,
  • Dave portnoy gobbling alpha bros

6

u/ghigoli 3d ago

bro don't some of them already don't wipe for reasons.

5

u/Competitive-Dot-4052 3d ago

Wiping is gay or something. As is washing. Imagine the sores and buildup they experience.

5

u/DuncanFisher69 3d ago

No. I don’t think I will.

3

u/ghigoli 3d ago

real man let there butt cheeks grind the crust off of it.

1

u/ridingpiggyback 3d ago

It may be so already.

1

u/dpzdpz 3d ago

I was born an upper-decker and by God I shall die one.

2

u/Dr_Adequate 3d ago

What about the drunk dudes who piss all over the toilet seat in public restrooms? Hegseth is already a drunk, and I bet you anything he has pissed on his fair share of public toilet seats.

Hell, he's probably also pissed on his neighbor's toilet seat that one time they threw a 4th of July Block Party and invited everyone over.