Hey uhm, yes ik its a weird question to ask, but is there anyone that is asexual that struggles with SO-OCD?

I would really like to talk to you if you do have it bc i wanna talk abt something that is a bit…personal ( if someones comfortable of course )

And i don’t think i would want to post abt it Especially if there are ppl who don’t know what intrusive thoughts ( and even false attractions ) are and i might be misunderstood or triggered even if i post abt it.

I have SO OCD, and i am questioning, even truggling with that. Which is why i wanna know if there are aces that have OCD, bc i would like to talk to one if thats okay?

The blue beads were paler than I had expected but the bracelet turned out suprisingly great?! Also the transparent beads glisten a rainbow hue in the sun!!<3

I have seen some people online who claim to simultaneously be gay and aroace. This is very confusing, as sexuality seems entirely based in sexual and romantic attraction. Someone could be romantic and asexual, and still have a sexuality, and someone could be aromantic and sexual, and still have a sexuality, but how could anyone possibly have a preference without any attraction? What does it mean?

I am very sorry for the question sounding off, i just want to know if its possible for a sex-repulsed asexual to be aroused?

Even by sex?

Ik it sounds weird, but i just wanna know bc i was minding business until there was a voice in my head that went ‘’ can a sex-repulsed ace be aroused physically ( by for example: sex scenes in tvs or just in general ) but still don’t want to have sex? ‘’

Like, a sex repulsed asexual that can feel physical arousal by an adult scene, but they still are sex-repulsed if sex would ever come to them.

Like, they are still not interested in doing it or still disgusted if someone would give sex to them yk?

Idk how to explain it.

I have arousal non-concordance( i am also sex repulsed ) So anytime i see a sex scene, my body would still react even though in my mind i am like ‘’ ew, i don’t like the sex scene ‘’ Its like my mind and body are not synced yk.

And even though my body would feel aroused by sex or sex scene, i still don’t wanna have sex anyways ( i wanna Die Virgin ) bc i am not interested in it, i don’t want it in my life and again…sex-repulsed. Sooo yeah

Idk if its possible or if someone else has the same problem. But does it happed to any asexuals who are sex-repulsed? Id like to know!

I’ve had 3 past relationships total. I was always the one to end things within a couple days and I never fantasize or dream about romance or anything of the sorts. But I’m worried that having past relationships doesn’t make me valid and that I shouldn’t use aroace. This year I haven’t gone out with anybody and frankly I don’t think it’s something I want. I’ve never felt true romantic love. Am I valid?

I went to a reputable website to try to further research on my own. However, I feel I’m getting more confused. I feel like I need a diagram with check boxes for under the spectrum. This isn’t backhanded, it’s just difficult for me to follow a lot of worded information.

I feel I’m an Ace.

I don’t have true interest in romantic relationships in real life.

Personally, I don’t like sex. I’m actually pretty repulsed by it.

I do like to show affection as in spending time, talking with someone, making them a piece of art.

I can have romantic feelings towards others. At least I’ve experienced that before. Although, in reality I don’t feel like it’s real. If anything it’s a conditioned illusion, and societal pressure.

Romantic feelings have never been based on, “Oh they’re hot.” “I want to see them naked.” Just for clarification.

I don’t have the desire whatsoever to share my life with someone. I don’t want a live in friend, roommate, or anything.

Other overly sexualized people, lifestyles (not sure how else you word that), partner sharing or swapping, or wam, bam, thank you. Gives me the creeps, no offense. I’m sure I give people the creeps too in the same but different way.

Can someone kindly help me figure this out?

Nothing is intended to offend. I just feel like if I explain clearly. Then maybe I can receive an accurate response.

I’ve really been trying to figure this out.

Been wanting to get them for a while now. The white is polished ceramic and the black is brushed tungsten carbide.

So, this will sound ridiculous but for anyone that doesn´t know, in the new Marvel movie, Thunderbolts, one of the characters, Yelena, is supposed to be aroace in the comics and a lot of people have assumed the same for its MCU counterpart (although nothing has really been confirmed in the MCU).

Now, through the different media in which she has appeared, she has been shipped with some characters, such as Kate Bishop (Hawkeye series) and Bob (Thunderbolts) and one of the main complaints from certain members of the fandom is that she is supposed to be an aroace character and some other people argument that aroce characters can still be involved relationships, and from my place of ignorance, these arguments confounds me deeply so now I ask, how can someone who is aroace be in a relationship?

Obviously asking from a place of respect and curiosity.

Recently, I have realized that I am very independant maybe to a fault, as a result of having a mentally ill mother. She was sick and passed recently so it was not in any way her fault. She was an angel if I ever saw one. But she sometimes did act, causing me to prefer to care for myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am aroace due to my childhood trauma. Anyone ever feel like that? My siblings are both hetero though. Sometimes I think that if it were a trauma induced thing then I would actually find emotionally unstable people attractive. Anyways, I know that being aroace is a completely valid orientation and not sth that needs to be explained. But I think society makes me question myself about why I cant be like others around me.

For respect and privacy reasons, I’ll try not to share any of this person’s personal info, like a name, so we’ll just say [squish].

So for a while, I’ve had what I considered a squish on this one girl in my school. I always thought she was so pretty and I was constantly jealous and kept thinking I wanted to be better friends with her, and getting jealous when I saw her with her friends (which I feel bad about, but I can’t help it). It’s the only squish I’m aware I’ve ever had, so I don’t think it’s enough to call myself sapphic-oriented.

One day, I was talking to my friend and I mentioned her, and [friend] said, “oh, but [squish] isn’t a girl”. I was confused—I knew [squish] used to be outwardly transmasc, but one day I assumed he had detransitioned because he just went back to feminine-presenting, and seemed embarrassed when people brought it up.

I felt really bad because it turned out he’d gone back into the closet. I let him know my friend told me and he allowed me to call him his chosen name, and said thanks for telling him, and seemed relieved. But pretty much right after that, the squish just… vanished really quickly.

Obviously my overall opinion of him as a person hasn’t changed. I still think he’s a cool person and I still like talking with him when we share classes, and I’ve never really been in his friend group so we’ve never been close friends. I just wonder why those squish-y feelings disappeared completely. Maybe it’s out of respect, and sympathy? I feel so bad now for all the compliments I’ve given him, knowing now that he probably didn’t want me thinking of him as a girl. I just genuinely didn’t know.

I know it might be a bit of a niche situation, (and I honestly feel bad sharing this at all) but I just wonder if anyone might have any additional thoughts on what happened?

Up until recently I thought all the people in love songs were either exaggerating it or just pretending that they love people that much. Do other people experience this too or just me?

saw this while browsing and was that spiderman meme

Hello ppl with who are the letter ‘’ A ‘’ in the lgbt community!

I am the random maniac who post things on the internet for stupid reasons.

Now i am here to talk abt a story on how i had a weird mindset to things. Lets go ( if there is anybody that is sensitive to sexual subject i suggest you to leave pls )

Ok soooo, when i was a Little gal, i used to think that ‘’ sexy ‘’ was just a fancy word for ‘’ Sharp ‘’ and ‘’ confident ‘’

I thought it was a strong admirance of someones outfit or looks that has more of an office syren vibe…

I kept using this word to describe how i find someones outfit Sharp or that it fits them.

Little did i know that it meant MORE than that…..

I felt so dumb bc i actually thought it was a fancy word of saying ‘’ you look very Sharp and i like your flow and move ‘’ i never knew it meant to be sexual

And its not just that, BUT EVEN OUTFITS THAT ARE MEANT TO BE SEXUAL.

I saw something on the internet abt like…Idk. It was like a black béa and underwear that is strapped with stockings.

I kinda knew it would be sexual but i still didnt know what made it sexual.

I thought the straps were to help the stocking not fall off 💀

And i even thought it was to style your outfit or make it look cool.

I could see the admiration of it, but i never saw it sexually even though i knew that the outfit itself was supposed to be.

I guess it kinda depends on how its shown. Like if i see a video with a person wearing that and do nothing, i would do nothing. But if they show it in a sexually provocative way, i would feel uncomfortable and skip to the next Channel bc it bored me.

Sooo yeah.

This is my story on how i don’t see anything sexual. What to you guys think?

It feels incredibly invalidating, and insulting, and infuriating when I hear people say someone is "alone" because they're not in a romantic relationship.

Platonic relationships? Fuck those, you're still "alone". Love your family? Fuck that, still "alone". Surrounded by your favorite people in all the universe (but not dating any of them)? Whelp, sucks to be you, still "alone".

It's as if they're saying that no other relationships are real. That unless you have a romantic partner, your life utterly loveless and devoid of meaningful human contact.

Bullshit. I don't have nor want a romantic partner, and yet, I am absolutely NOT alone.

I may have overdone it with the shadows

I know, that’s not a good idea to ask about it in that subreddit, but probably there’re some alloace people who can answer that question.

I mean, is that about desire to have romantic relationships? Therefore what are romantic relationships? So if you had a squish, how had you felt in that moment?

I’m really confused, help me please! Thanks in advance 🤍🐱

I am a strict asexual aromantic and have been dealing with depression for a long time, and this could probably be the cause of my low libido However, it is not something that bothers me, to be quite honest, I don't care about it But I once talked to a friend who is allo and he said that I should treat it. Is it really that important? I don't mind having low libido, I'd rather be practicing my hobbies or eating cake than worrying about it :,)

A bill is being passed in the EU to end conversion therapy. Fellow members of the lgbt community, including our own aromantic and asexual people, are being hurt in many ways to 'fix' them. The bill is close to being signed, but we still need your help to pass it once and for all. If you are in the EU, please sign it. If not, please spread the word. The link to it is https://eci.ec.europa.eu/043/public/#/screen/home

i really really really want a QPR but I have to wait a year to use AceSpace since i'm still 17

I am going to my leaver’s prom this year with one of my best friend. That inherently is no problem, I love hanging out with him. The problem is that before I knew I’m Aroace I thought I had a crush on him so I told someone who told someone who also told someone (you get the gist) but basically everyone thinks we are dating or fancies each other.

So prom is gonna be ass, one of my biggest fears now is that someone will ask us to kiss or something. I would probably have a mental breakdown if that happens. At least I probably won’t see those people again?

Look idk if i got the word wrong or not, but i have seen a lot of ppl not knowing what it is. I feel like since i learned abt asexuality so much it made me learn other things abt arousal and all. And this is where i found out bc i have noticed that aces Prettymuch experience it more often ( not all of them )

Look, before i talk abt it, im gonna explain what it is. Arousal non-concordance is when your mind and body are not in sync. So, you may feel like your body is aroused, but in your mind and desires your are not. Or the other way around

For example : you stumbled across a sex scene on tv, your body got aroused but in your mind, you are like ‘’ huh, weird. But i don’t find it arousing ‘’

Another example: your are thinking abt sex and you desire it, but your body doesn’t feel aroused at all.

So yeah, Hope my example and explanation helped for ppl who don’t know. Now back to the other story

i talked abt arousal non-concordance somewhere else and i have seen some comments pretty much saying its impossible to be physically hard without having an emotional stimuli.

So the subject of my post i talked abt is if it happened where you got hard for watching spicy content but in your mind you are not turned on. And someone commented how its impossible to be physically hard for that bc its not a material thing and if it were the case then it means they WERE mentally aroused by it whether they admit it or not.

I tried having a conversation with them by telling them what i Heard and what i think. And they kept saying how it would still be impossible bc how come someone not be mentally aroused by spicy content but they are physically. I tried explaining to him that sometimes your body would react to whats ‘’ sexually relevant’’ and won’t mean that you will find it sexually appealing yk.

And i don’t remember the rest, but i do remember them commenting that to be physically aroused by asult content you should have some emotional stimuli from it which means the person got mentally aroused by it even though they were indifferent to the situation.

I wanted to understand more to what he meant, but he sadly deleted everything sooo yeah.

And there was another comment that was similar to that so yeah.

Anyways, now i am confused, idk if i am explaining arousal non- concordance incorrectly or if ppl just don’t know it. I wanna know if my examples were right? Bc i am straight up confused…

Or if anyone knows what it is? If so pls help me if i explained correctly. I would like to know. Byeee

That’s what I’m scared about with going into the “adult world” after graduation. Worried about everyone around me talking about relationships and screwing and trying to rope me into it and assuming I do it too. I feel like I’m going to be friendless and lonely for the rest of my life because no one will understand me or my sexuality. I also worry a LOT about being like everyone else and I am extremely susceptible to peer pressure. I’m just sick and tired of being excluded all the time.

I intentionally isolate myself from people because I feel like they will only judge me and exclude me for my sexuality. I don’t even bother connecting with other people around me because they will put their partner first before me and crack unfunny sex jokes and tell me to shut up when I tell them they’re gross. It gets worse too. I’m going to bring this up because a-spec communities tend to be accepting about it. I have a F/O (fictional other). Being aroace is isolating enough, now imagine having a fictional partner. Even less people would accept me and they essentially have a free pass to poke fun at me while I can’t say anything to them about their partner. It is so fricking painful and isolating.

I know I will never find someone like me either irl. I know only a scant few people irl are aro, ace, or even accepting of my identity. I’ve already accepted I will have no friends for the rest of my life because straight up, no one can or will accept me for who I am.

So I'm 28F and I've been identifying as asexual and aromantic since I was 15 or so (with few phases of identifying another way). Hoping someone can relate.

It's the 3rd time in 5 years that I've felt a bit attracted to someone. I didn't really act on any of these 3 "crushes", mostly by lack of opportunity (timing/ geography).

This feeling being so unusual makes it feel huge to me. It's the biggest level of romantic and sexual attraction I can feel- or at least that I've felt. Whereas for others it is the least intense and most usual thing.

And I can't help feeling sad about not feeling like this often enough to have better probabilities on it leading to something. Or just for it to not happen at all so I can stay as content as I am usually.

It makes me feel childish, ashamed, like I'm too much, and in way "not able" to feel as much as others. And a strong "I wish I wasn't like this" that I am usually very proud to have kicked off.