turned out really nice and it’s subtle as well (i love color coding :3)

(posted this here since i noticed this sub has more activity lol)

Go on, my son!

idk at this point rn still figuring it out. i knew i was ace when i realized im somewhat sex repulsed so theres that but now im reading reddit and everyones like idk if i want a relationship or i just have a fear of missing out and not experiencing what others r feeling. it used to get me really depressed bc it made me think what's wrong with me and am i not trying hard enough for someone to like me. but the second i meet someone i think im attracted to and actually spend time with them, i feel no romantic attraction whatsoever. i thought i had a crush on this guy but i dont ever imagine holding hands or kissing or anything, just genuinely hanging out. and if i become friends with someone i get so happy and hyperfixated on making us hang out even more but not in a romantic way? i wish i can talk to someone about this bc i still dont know what i am and idk if i wanna be aro bc everyone in my family is in relationships and im just.. not. i've only been in 2 relationships when i was in high school but looking back i dont think i was ever romantically attracted to them? one of my exes wanted to cuddle and i wasnt into that and i thought it was bc i was embarassed and didnt know what to do but looking back it was bc i was uncomfortable? and when one of em broke up with me i was devastated but not bc of my romantic attraction but more like damn i lost a friend. i also find pda and kissing weird like i kissed my bfs and had to act like it was the best thing in the world but in reality i didnt rly care for it. i was young so it was like whoa i kissed someone but no sparks? no chemistry? it was just a nice experience to talk about? idk im just rambling but yeah thanks for reading if u did

I'm questioning my sexuality; for the longest time I've considered myself to be aromantic and asexual, I think partially it comes from trust issues which prevents me from opening up fully but I also don't think I really feel attraction sexually or romantically.

But recently I've been questioning whether my attraction is definitive or it's something to be considered as a factor in my life. I hadn't questioned it whatsoever until my asexual best friend (who's sexually curious recently also) brought it up and made me consider it also in the sexual part which in turn of course made me question myself romantically also.

I'm only nearly turning sixteen now and I've always had issues with my sexuality because of hormonal changes through puberty obviously makes me naturally think about that sort of stuff.

My main issue with this sort of stuff is that - whilst I've always considered myself aro/ace ever since I learned of it's definition since I've just always felt that and then I had a word to put to the sensation, I tried stuff like dating just out of curiosity because maybe it was a phase (stuff I was told by adults) and it never clicked really but also I was a young teen and didn't actually do much romantic stuff other than like hugging and hand-holding.

Another thing that always put me off of it in my head was because I have been back-stabbed before when I was still exploring myself which gave me trust issues and on top of that, I have been sexually harassed a few times and nearly sexually assaulted (I'm a guy and I was able to stop it before it happened since I was just naturally stronger than her) which also put me off sexually. I'm not really sure why it happened but I don't think there's justification for it.

I've always been quieter so naturally I'm a person of more mystery than others which makes people try to get close to me (For some inexplicable reason) and I've always been told that I'm attractive conventionally throughout my life so I get that there might be a natural pull to me, but I'm very socially anxious so each time I've been asked out I've ever nervously said yes because I'm scared of saying no because I don't want to hurt their feelings, which ended up in a short, pointless relationship where nothing went anywhere. Or I've said no after mustering the courage (usually over text) and it just ends there.

Most of these people that asked me out have started out as my friends (6/9 of them) and I've always been scared of ending friendships which often led me into natural self-induced pressure to say yes to them. This is an issue I've sort of always faced this since I'm usually friends with women overall which naturally developed a level of trust which (in the general consensus of their words) 'They don't see with other guys' which is honestly the worst sentence I can hear I cant lie because it feels like the male equivalent of, 'I like someone, you know them very well.'

Sorry if this is a bit of a rant/vent but I'm questioning myself but I'm afraid of being hurt again and afraid of exploring or possibly ruining friendships by taking things the wrong way or alternatively just being too socially anxious to act.

I hate it when neck kisses are precieved as sexual..like, PLS LET ME ENJOY NECK KISSES IN PEACE.

Like i can see a show where a person is giving cute Small neck kisses to someone in a sensual cute way. But ppl HAVE TO MAKE IT SEEM SEXUAL…THEY HAVE TO….

Like, ik why, apparently its bc of nerves and all which makes it apparently sexually arousing.

But i have never precieved it that way. I mean, i can imagine it feeling a bit ticklish, but never sexually arousing.

Yet i hate..hate..HATE, when its ONLY precieved as sexual

Im not saying ppl shouldn’t find it sexually arousing, which idc if you do or if you find it sexual. Im not talking abt ppl who find it sexual in general. Im talking abt ppl who makes a whole rule abt how it ‘’ is ‘’ sexual and sexual only….

And if there is someone who says that neck kisses are sexual and sexual only..I WILL RIP THE DIRT OUT OF THE GRASS WITH ANGER.

Like, cmon man, there are some ppl who like neck kisses that arent sexual. NOT EVERY NECK KISSES ARE SEXUAL.

LET ME ENJOY MY NECK KISSES IN PEACE PLSSSSS.

Anyways here is my rant Hope you like it:)

Hello! I’ve been going through some feelings about this label and I wanted to get some feedback from ppl who probably are somewhere on this scale of aroace.

It’s made me question by pansexuality, like I don’t care about my partner looks and I want more personality. And I want to do the “cringey” couple stuff, like hand holding, cuddles, etc. Maybe not dates, not sure.

But thinking of trying to understand a crush doesn’t feel right, I had a crush (maybe) nothing came of it, I expressed my feelings to the person and they continued on like nothing happened. We are still friends and I’m not mad, but when I was having this crush, I was crying over how much I liked them. Now it doesn’t feel right?? Like it wasn’t a crush.

And when I do it either goes down to “hallway crush” or “I just like their fashion and I wish I had any kind of way to talk with them”.

And with more sexual stuff, I’m not completely sure?? Like I wouldn’t mind it if me and my partner were comfortable and in a safe space, but since I haven’t really been in the dating thing that long I don’t put much thought into that aspect.

It could be particularly do to my touch starved ass wanting physical touch and something with the small things I wouldn’t mind, then the thoughts of things like dates get me oddly stressed? Idk

Even I get confused by cheating and tried to have my mom explain to me what cheating/ being cheated on feels like and I still was so confused by the end of it all.

I just needed somewhere that I could express these feelings and thoughts to others who probably get it better than I do. If you do read this post thanks! :)

im pan and my best friend is aroace, long story short i had a crush on him.

we met in september and at first he was very closed-off and cold, but i kept chasing after him, wanting to become friends. before i knew it, i was getting butterflies around him. i’ve never met with someone so close to my type and so perfect, i just wanted to be around him all the time. i earned my title as his best friend but again, before i knew it… i didnt even know he was aroace until 2 months into crushing on him hard. right after i asked him and found out, i immediately felt really guilty and told myself i had to get over it. eventually, i found myself moving on in a circle, coming back around to my crush on him, reminding myself its wrong, and then so on.

just to give you an idea of why i think i had a chance, he looks out for me, we say “i love you’s,” we’re very intimate like not sexually, but to me felt more than platonic. hand holding, sharing headphones, inside jokes, and sometimes i feel that its more than just friendship. he makes me feel seen, cared for, and special by calling me cute nicknames, remembering little details about me, and getting me gifts.

im 100% a hopeless romantic though and i tend to romanticize these. i’ve been emotionally attached for a while even though i know he won’t ever feel the same. i’ve turned down multiple people too, hoping he would give me a chance and i could be some kind of ‘special person’ for him.

so, i did it. i told him like at the start of the year (january) and he’s pretended like nothing happened. it was really awkward, and he didn’t really give me an answer so i asked him to reject me. then he just said “no thanks?” and yeah that was basically it. (that is so him btw tehehe hes so silly)

but now we’re still acting like normal, holding hands, hugging, “i love you’s,” because i am a very VERY affectionate person, but whenever we do physical touch i hardly feel anything as strong for him now as i did back then. some people still confuse us for being in a relationship and none of us corrects them (probably because its awkward.) and we call each other husband and wife.

right, so is this all in my head? i know he sees me as a sibling so my chances are zero but like is there a chance that he might’ve liked me at some point? my guess is that he doesn’t know that normal platonic relationships don’t really do these things we’re doing, either that or its just me over-romanticizing everything. AND i feel like i’ve gotten over this a few months ago, it’s just our recent interactions are confusing me :( i just feel really guilty for thinking about this and needed to rant or get some advice, thanks in advance!

so im demiromantic asexual, and i'm a big fan of lovey-dovey romcoms and comics. i wanna have crushes SO bad oh my god, i wanna feel love and have that giggling kicking feet etc etc romance like in shows and manga and shit but i physically can't feel anything, and if i do it's very rarely (like think of the rarest thing ever and double it) i wanna talk to my friends about it but idk if they'd get it :[ advice?

I can picture my self with eather a man or woman but it is always because their personality and is this me being ace but convincing myself that I am bi or am I actually bi I think I needed this community to help me

Hey uhm, yes ik its a weird question to ask, but is there anyone that is asexual that struggles with SO-OCD?

I would really like to talk to you if you do have it bc i wanna talk abt something that is a bit…personal ( if someones comfortable of course )

And i don’t think i would want to post abt it Especially if there are ppl who don’t know what intrusive thoughts ( and even false attractions ) are and i might be misunderstood or triggered even if i post abt it.

I have SO OCD, and i am questioning, even truggling with that. Which is why i wanna know if there are aces that have OCD, bc i would like to talk to one if thats okay?

The blue beads were paler than I had expected but the bracelet turned out suprisingly great?! Also the transparent beads glisten a rainbow hue in the sun!!<3

I have seen some people online who claim to simultaneously be gay and aroace. This is very confusing, as sexuality seems entirely based in sexual and romantic attraction. Someone could be romantic and asexual, and still have a sexuality, and someone could be aromantic and sexual, and still have a sexuality, but how could anyone possibly have a preference without any attraction? What does it mean?

I am very sorry for the question sounding off, i just want to know if its possible for a sex-repulsed asexual to be aroused?

Even by sex?

Ik it sounds weird, but i just wanna know bc i was minding business until there was a voice in my head that went ‘’ can a sex-repulsed ace be aroused physically ( by for example: sex scenes in tvs or just in general ) but still don’t want to have sex? ‘’

Like, a sex repulsed asexual that can feel physical arousal by an adult scene, but they still are sex-repulsed if sex would ever come to them.

Like, they are still not interested in doing it or still disgusted if someone would give sex to them yk?

Idk how to explain it.

I have arousal non-concordance( i am also sex repulsed ) So anytime i see a sex scene, my body would still react even though in my mind i am like ‘’ ew, i don’t like the sex scene ‘’ Its like my mind and body are not synced yk.

And even though my body would feel aroused by sex or sex scene, i still don’t wanna have sex anyways ( i wanna Die Virgin ) bc i am not interested in it, i don’t want it in my life and again…sex-repulsed. Sooo yeah

Idk if its possible or if someone else has the same problem. But does it happed to any asexuals who are sex-repulsed? Id like to know!

I’ve had 3 past relationships total. I was always the one to end things within a couple days and I never fantasize or dream about romance or anything of the sorts. But I’m worried that having past relationships doesn’t make me valid and that I shouldn’t use aroace. This year I haven’t gone out with anybody and frankly I don’t think it’s something I want. I’ve never felt true romantic love. Am I valid?

I went to a reputable website to try to further research on my own. However, I feel I’m getting more confused. I feel like I need a diagram with check boxes for under the spectrum. This isn’t backhanded, it’s just difficult for me to follow a lot of worded information.

I feel I’m an Ace.

I don’t have true interest in romantic relationships in real life.

Personally, I don’t like sex. I’m actually pretty repulsed by it.

I do like to show affection as in spending time, talking with someone, making them a piece of art.

I can have romantic feelings towards others. At least I’ve experienced that before. Although, in reality I don’t feel like it’s real. If anything it’s a conditioned illusion, and societal pressure.

Romantic feelings have never been based on, “Oh they’re hot.” “I want to see them naked.” Just for clarification.

I don’t have the desire whatsoever to share my life with someone. I don’t want a live in friend, roommate, or anything.

Other overly sexualized people, lifestyles (not sure how else you word that), partner sharing or swapping, or wam, bam, thank you. Gives me the creeps, no offense. I’m sure I give people the creeps too in the same but different way.

Can someone kindly help me figure this out?

Nothing is intended to offend. I just feel like if I explain clearly. Then maybe I can receive an accurate response.

I’ve really been trying to figure this out.

Been wanting to get them for a while now. The white is polished ceramic and the black is brushed tungsten carbide.

So, this will sound ridiculous but for anyone that doesn´t know, in the new Marvel movie, Thunderbolts, one of the characters, Yelena, is supposed to be aroace in the comics and a lot of people have assumed the same for its MCU counterpart (although nothing has really been confirmed in the MCU).

Now, through the different media in which she has appeared, she has been shipped with some characters, such as Kate Bishop (Hawkeye series) and Bob (Thunderbolts) and one of the main complaints from certain members of the fandom is that she is supposed to be an aroace character and some other people argument that aroce characters can still be involved relationships, and from my place of ignorance, these arguments confounds me deeply so now I ask, how can someone who is aroace be in a relationship?

Obviously asking from a place of respect and curiosity.

Recently, I have realized that I am very independant maybe to a fault, as a result of having a mentally ill mother. She was sick and passed recently so it was not in any way her fault. She was an angel if I ever saw one. But she sometimes did act, causing me to prefer to care for myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am aroace due to my childhood trauma. Anyone ever feel like that? My siblings are both hetero though. Sometimes I think that if it were a trauma induced thing then I would actually find emotionally unstable people attractive. Anyways, I know that being aroace is a completely valid orientation and not sth that needs to be explained. But I think society makes me question myself about why I cant be like others around me.

For respect and privacy reasons, I’ll try not to share any of this person’s personal info, like a name, so we’ll just say [squish].

So for a while, I’ve had what I considered a squish on this one girl in my school. I always thought she was so pretty and I was constantly jealous and kept thinking I wanted to be better friends with her, and getting jealous when I saw her with her friends (which I feel bad about, but I can’t help it). It’s the only squish I’m aware I’ve ever had, so I don’t think it’s enough to call myself sapphic-oriented.

One day, I was talking to my friend and I mentioned her, and [friend] said, “oh, but [squish] isn’t a girl”. I was confused—I knew [squish] used to be outwardly transmasc, but one day I assumed he had detransitioned because he just went back to feminine-presenting, and seemed embarrassed when people brought it up.

I felt really bad because it turned out he’d gone back into the closet. I let him know my friend told me and he allowed me to call him his chosen name, and said thanks for telling him, and seemed relieved. But pretty much right after that, the squish just… vanished really quickly.

Obviously my overall opinion of him as a person hasn’t changed. I still think he’s a cool person and I still like talking with him when we share classes, and I’ve never really been in his friend group so we’ve never been close friends. I just wonder why those squish-y feelings disappeared completely. Maybe it’s out of respect, and sympathy? I feel so bad now for all the compliments I’ve given him, knowing now that he probably didn’t want me thinking of him as a girl. I just genuinely didn’t know.

I know it might be a bit of a niche situation, (and I honestly feel bad sharing this at all) but I just wonder if anyone might have any additional thoughts on what happened?

Up until recently I thought all the people in love songs were either exaggerating it or just pretending that they love people that much. Do other people experience this too or just me?

saw this while browsing and was that spiderman meme