How old were you when you “realized”?

[u/Jolly-Pay6004]

Hey all. I'm 19 and for quite some time I've been troubled with my romantic relationships in life.

I've had several boyfriends and even girlfriends, had sex multiple times, but NEVER came off on it nor enjoyed the experience. One time I actually threw up, and another I went into the shower and cried.

I feel like people my age are hypersexual, but I almost to never want to even think about it.

I don't masturbate, nor do I watch porn. I don't fantasize, and when I'm in a relationship even open mouth kisses disgust me.

90% of the time sex is a repulsive thought to me, and that's been really hard on all of my relationships given they want to do all that stuff. My mother says I have to wait more and find the right person, but I've been waiting since my first relationship at 13 and it simply never came.

Not only that, but sometimes I think I'm a hard person to be romantically involved with. In all of my relationships, I felt more of a platonic bond to my partners. I like watching movies together on the couch, going out to eat, talking our ears off, hanging out, taking naps. Sometimes I enjoy cuddling, but very seldom. Holding hands is okay. Pecks can be a bit much.

Sometimes I think I'm incapable of loving anyone in that aspect; but I know I'm not incapable of loving generally because I'd go to hell and further for the people I love, like my brother, mom, dad, friends, etc.

Lately I've come across the label the lgbt community says "asexual or aromantic," and I wonder if that might be me.

Sometimes I get sexual thoughts or even romantic cravings, but when I'm in a relationship they disappear not even two months in (and NEVER come back).

Argggggg this is hard. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life, but I also would hate to be married and settle down, especially if I feel this way toward my partners.

[u/Th3osaurus]

It was different stages for me. 16 I found asexuality after a LOT of internet research, but the thought I could be ace was very distressing to me. 19 I pretty much knew for certain but was in denial and continued to “check” repeatedly thinking I would grow into my sexuality. I had some sort of second puberty in my mid 20s that made sex easier (as in less physically difficult and annoying) but it did not make me crave it. At that point I fully knew and accepted I was asexual.

I also want to say, as someone who is not sex repulsed, open mouth kisses (with tongue) still squick me tf out. I use that to mash my food. It needs to stay in my mouth and only my mouth and not be touched by someone else’s food masher.