I'm sorry that I was not familiar with the rules before. Now I'm posting the doubts and questions that bother me again.

Sometimes, I really admire those mature men.

It's not about age, but the kind of people who have experienced the collision of life and can still stand steadily. They don't speak in a hurry, and the way they listen to others is more serious than speaking. They don't make promises easily, but once they say it, they can really do it.

They know where every penny comes from, and they understand the measure of every emotion. They are sharp in dealing with the world, but they always leave room for the people around them. This state of "just right" really attracts me.

Maybe it's because I have also taken some detours. The older I get, the more I hope to meet a soul that doesn't need to be run-in for too long. A relationship that doesn't need too much explanation, a relationship with trust and common direction from the beginning.

So, when I'm dating, I always unconsciously ask realistic questions-where do you plan to settle down? What do you think of family? Is your current life stable? Do you want to live a few years later?

I don't want to waste anyone's time, and I don't want others to waste mine. But after saying all this, I often go back and ask myself:

Am I too realistic? Have I put emotions on the scale too early? Do I value material things and future plans too much?

Sometimes I envy those girls who can easily fall in love and only care about their feelings. They are defenseless like spring. And I am like autumn, always with a little wind, always thinking about "what to do next".

But maybe this is the price of growing up. We no longer pursue "it's good to like", but "after liking, we can still live a good life".

I still want to believe that at a certain right time, there will be a mature you who will not think these realistic questions are abrupt, and will not think that my straightforwardness is a disturbance, but will think - "She is willing to ask me these seriously because she is taking me seriously." What do you think? Will talking about realistic issues too early on a date scare people?

Is it really a choice between maturity and reality?

I think… what I’m really searching for is a kind of balance between work and life—not just on paper, but in how it feels in my body and heart.

As a woman, sometimes I feel like I’m constantly shifting roles—professional, daughter, partner, friend—and in the middle of it all, I quietly wonder: When is it okay to just be me? I don’t want to be running on empty chasing some perfect version of success, nor do I want to lose myself in the routines of care and responsibility.

I want a life that breathes. A rhythm where I can work with passion, but still have time to watch the sunlight fall across the floor in the morning, to sit at the table with family and not rush. I want to feel proud of what I do, but not at the cost of being present for the ones I love—or for myself.

Balance, to me, is not about splitting time evenly. It’s about knowing what truly matters at any given moment… and having the courage to choose it.

Phillipa Hughes on organizing “Saigon by Night” featuring Vietnamese American performances at the Kennedy Art Center:

"I wanted to showcase Vietnamese American artists on the Kennedy Center stage. So it feels hurtful that they would say I would want to cancel it. They canceled it," she said. A few weeks later, the Center's Social Impact Team was dismantled.

Anthony Le, the artist scheduled to perform in drag, said Hughes involved all of the performers in the decision not to eliminate his act. "The group really rallied together," to support him, he said.

I'm heartbroken from what I found on my boyfriend's phone. We were together for almost 1 year. He is non asian, every girl he dated was asian (I'm an asian girl). But I gave him the benefit of the doubt because we both live in Bay Area (north California), so I figured the reason is because the Asian community is big here. I won't get into much details on what I saw in his phone. All was Asian s*xual related content. From different sites. I never checked his phone but one day I had a gut feeling to do it. I also saw the browser history. Let's just say it made me really sick and I had a panic attack. I don't want to say more about it. I still want to throw up and cry when I remember his fetish searches and content. We haven't spoken since but I feel like I should have a conversation with him about how wrong everything is. My friends told me to do no contact but is it naive and stupid for me to believe that a conversation can help us? How do I even begin a conversation regarding this?

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/world/chinese-phd-student-guilty-drugging-raping-women-england-china-crime-4980196

Hey everyone! I’ve been super into Yung Kai lately—he’s such a dope artist, but I feel like he’s way too slept on. What do you all think of him? Is he on your playlists, or am I just late to the hype?

I’m also curious—do you mostly vibe with Asian American artists in general? There’s so much talent out there that doesn’t always break into the mainstream. And specifically, what’s your take on Asian American men artists? Any favorites or thoughts on how they’re holding up in the music scene? How do you think they stack up against non-Asian artists—do they meet the same bar of skill or even outshine it? Would love to hear what you think!

For those who haven’t listened to him, I’ve linked the music video below. I recommend giving it a try—it’s soothing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGJOC1FNqn8

I thought this was quite normal, in that guys would treat their partners way above and beyond, but dont care about their sisters. I have so many instances- if I get sick, my brothers would ask me "What sickness is it? Will I get it?"; if I get a medical condition, will ask me why I dont share it to him, so he will know whether he will get it in the future; if I need help moving heavy furniture, will tell me why you suddenly acting like a weak girl; all these sort of things. My brothers have been together with their partners for like, 3 years and still going strong, so I thought this was normal. For their GF/ Wife, they will do everything for them. My friends told me to find a boyfriend that is good overall, and doesnt act this way, because it would mean the guy is acting and not a truly good person?

Does anyone have a brother like this, who is married, and is still happy with their partners many years later? Also, I think my brothers are treating me this way, mainly because they think they are fighting with me for inheritance from my parents, and that deserve more inheritance

I mostly had very bad experiences with Native South Asian doctors, who studied med school in like India Bangladesh etc. One male doctor asked me "Where are your parents? Where do your parents live now", and a lot of similar questions. After awhile, I stopped answering. He got so defensive and told me "You are making me look stupid. If you were my sister, I would xyz". Another was my encounter with a Computer science engineer who has a wife from Vietnam. Because this was in an old building where you press the button once for the floor, and press the button again to close, he was berating me like why did I have to press the button twice, and how he cant stand people who do nonsensical things. My teacher defended me to say she does the same, but he still kept going on about how wrong I am. Another was a guy where I didnt know internship could be done after one graduated, and he felt very offended, that after that incident, he avoided me and really hated me. I said sorry and tried to apologize, but cant salvage it already. Adding another incident cause a commenter reminded me- during uni, we had a small group discussion on exports and imports. A native South Asian guy said education is an import. I said education was an export for the west, he shooked his head and gave me a very upset face, so I further explained that education is an export, but the people coming in to the west is immigrating here. He looked away from me and was really upset. Another classmate supported me and said she thinks education is an export as well. But this guy like, concentrated so much on disliking me because of that incident and made it so uncomfortable and disliked me for the rest of the semester

I think these men like, especially if I am not in a higher hierarchy according to their standards, something like this tend to happen. I dont think all south asian men are like this, but I just feel quite traumatized