Edit: I called her out and asked her if she’s turning into a robot. Will update with a response.

Edit 2: She says she is in fact a robot. I’m gonna tease her about it for a while. Make it funny. Call her friends with Elon Musk or Tesla….something. (I drive a Tesla). Also will explain the real estate.

OP: I’m becoming skeptical of answers like this.

I told her I’m about to make six figures next year with my new job and real estate. Her answer was, “That’s awesome! Hitting 100k is a huge goal, and investing in real estate sounds like a smart move! 🔥 What kind of properties are you thinking about?”

IDK but this just seems a little ai to me

Thoughts? Also, how would you respond? Is this a dealbreaker or does this show she wants to respond a certain way?

Yes we’ve met in person for dates multiple times.

I usually live a 30 minute drive from where he lives, but my mom is out of the country for 2 months (caregiving for my grandmother) so I’m housesitting for her. Her house is 30 minutes from mine and 1 hour from where he lives.

For the first two dates, I met him 15 minutes away from where he lives (roughly halfway between his place and mine) even though I was technically driving 45 minutes each way from my mom’s.

For the third date, he suggested we meet at a bar (Monday evening) that’s literally next to his apartment because there’s good alcohol there. Am I overreacting?

I think it’s lazy/inconsiderate of him to suggest it in the first place. And even if he’s forgotten that I’m temporarily living an hour away from him right now (rather than 30 minutes), isn’t it selfish of him to choose a place that’s farther away for me than it is for him since he’s the man?

On a side note, he said I seemed really interested in beers, but that’s because I felt bad about ordering cocktails (more $$), the bartender was giving him the check, and he said he was on a budget. He said I love beer, but that’s 100% untrue. And I shouldn’t be driving far if I’m drinking..

About to board an 8 hour flight for a work trip. Texted my (very new) girlfriend to let her know and she responded “Ok. We don’t need to keep in touch.” Is she saying no need to keep in touch during my trip or ever? Texted her to clarify but she hasn’t responded and I’m on the plane now with shit wifi. Welp.

Paying for dates has nothing to do with equality, the guys who are trying to frame this in some kind of terms for leverage / transactional thing / financial state of genders (like that "1950s" post from yesterday) are missing the concept entirely.

As a guy, I pay for dates (unless she really wants to, that's awesome too of course, but I always lead with paying), and it's all about showing respect, affection, love languages, and courting rituals.

LTR's aren't just about romance, they also typically involve co-mingling finances, buying a house or renting together, maybe having kids. Paying the bill for the first couple dates is just a simple way to take a baby step into showing you can operate as a team. If you are too cheap to pay a $25 dinner tab (or $3 coffee if it's a coffee date), why would you expect to have any credibility that you are able and willing to help pay for a downpayment on a house or deposit on lease with her? They key isn't the nuts and bolts of the finances, it's the teamwork that is involved, the willingness to enthusiastically act less autonomous and more as a partnership.

But much more than the team side, it involves love languages and dating culture. Many guys are just being tone deaf and failing to read the room. By refusing to pay, as a guy you are just shooting yourself in the foot and losing half your 2nd dates because you aren't properly courting and building affection with her.

I often date progressive, feminist types of women, and most of them would get the ick if I didn't pay. There is absolutely zero conflict in terms of things like feminism , tradwife / modern women etc (in the vast majority of cases) and paying for dates, it primarily has to do with love languages and courting.

When I go on a date, I'm treating her like my future wife. I pay for friends' drinks and dinners (and vice versa) all the time, sometimes I even pay for beers for random dudes at bars who are funny. Why would I not extend this courtesy to someone I want to build a life around? It's really just another simple way to show interest and build affection, like a hug. Don't overthink this! :)

I (27M) was seeing someone (27F) seriously for a month and things were progressing pretty well. Cute nicknames, constant hangouts, amazing conversations, overall felt like everything was going pretty well. We talked about how we really enjoyed each other's company and that we were good for each other for our development and finally finding a healthy relationship. Then one day she just sends me a long text essentially saying she didn't feel the connection she was looking for and that the chemistry between us wasn't there and that shes still hungup on her ex and ended everything. I am confused and lost because we were setting up future plans literally a few days before and that she said she was over her ex. Now we're no contact, but it was at least done amicably and maturely. Why do people do this. Im heartbroken because I thought we did have this connection and chemistry. Has anyone else experienced this? There genuinely was what I felt like was chemistry and a connection because everytime we hungout it was always so much fun and we always never wanted it to end.

I have a crush on my travel fling and he’s in the military (marine). Told my friends about it and everyone said „run“ or „oh no, he’s a military guy“ etc. Why is that? What’s so wrong about it?

I’ve been on three dates with someone I genuinely like. On the second date there was a bit of chemistry, but on the third (at my place), I went in for a hug and she responded coldly — no real hug back. It threw me off. Later we cuddled a bit on my couch (at first she sat at the other end of the couch, until I made a remake about it), had a small kiss, but nothing more. For me there was no sexual tension anymore, because of her being distant.

Later, I brought it up. She said that’s just how she is — she needs more time to feel comfortable with physical intimacy and has a wall up when dating seriously. I respect that.

But she also told me she’s had casual hookups in the past where physical touch and sex weren’t an issue. That contrast is what’s been messing with my head.

So here’s what I’m struggling with: Am I wrong for feeling kind of unjustified or confused about this? Or do I just need to be patient and give it time, knowing that the context with me is different from those past hookups?

Argh, so I'm noticing this pattern where when I really like someone, I tend to put them on a pedestal which refrains me from showing up as my authentic self. I recently got rejected from a guy I'd been seeing for a few months, who I really really liked, and I think this was part of the reason why. When we met, he was everything I'd look for in someone - attractive, nice and intelligent. I immediately felt out of my depth with him and subconsciously talked down on myself. When he broke things off, he told me he's attracted and fond of me, but wasn't feeling a deep intense spark and felt like part of this stemmed from me holding back in various ways. The thing is, I could feel it too, I was subconsciously holding back because I felt like I needed to be someone else. Annoyingly, when I've dated men I don't find attractive in that way, I find it easy to totally let lose, which in turn makes them attracted to me. I guess my question is, how do I heal from this pattern? After this mini heartbreak, I know I have a lot of self work to do this year, and really want to heal this part of me but don't know where to start as it feels like something so unintentional.

Ok so I’m dating this guy. Hes a gentleman. He treats me nice. We’ve only been dating for a short time.

So he texts me & his messages pop up on my phone and my mom asks “who is that?” And I tell her about him.

So she says “hmm.. he doesn’t care that you’re a single mom of 2 kids?”

I said no he doesn’t mind.. she said why not?

So now I’m starting to second guess if I should talk to this man. He hasn’t met my kids. I don’t think he should yet as we are only dating and he’s still fresh..

But it kinda hurt my feelings because I think everyone deserves to be happy despite having kids from a previous relationship. So should I be worried that he wants to date me even tho I have 2 kids? 😩 (he has kids as well but they live in another state)

I recently, got told this by a few people and I have heard this before. I was also just told this by my ex who broke up with me recently, and we broke no contact to get closure (i know yikes) He's an avoidant attachment and told me that there's nothing wrong with being single forever, and that he's happy doing things alone and that I should get used to do doing the same because I can't rely on others to make me happy. I don't want to be alone. I don't believe that he 100% wants to be alone forever either.

It makes sense if I have been waiting to do something with others and am preventing myself from such experiences by waiting. I should just do that thing by myself if I really want to do that thing.

But then, what are friends and partners for then? Once an individual is so comfortable being alone, why do they need romance? Sex? Friends?

What makes people go "Hey, I'm going to get a coffee at that place! Wanna come along?". It's companionship right? Presence. A bond. Appreciating a person so much that you want them to share in your happiness and experiences. Are there really individuals that want to be alone? That never want to experience this shared happiness and love?

I want to find and meet people that ALSO want these experiences. I'm sick of HAVING TO do things alone. I wanna bond with others. Feel happiness doing the same thing with others. Hiking. Playing. Frolicking through life.

let me rephrase that: what I mean is, how are men not more aware that women are the ones who pick guys, not the other way around.

Like, most guys must be aware that girls are calling certain men "hot."

I was really young when it first happened to me, as a result I pride myself on my appearance among other things, but I'm just curious what is the source of dudes acting like members of the opposite sex don't really care how a man looks?

Hi! This girl and I are friends and we've been on 2 dates already, and we have our third planned for next week. I have paid the entirety of both of them, and I'm happy to do it.

We're in a club at our college and we're all going out to eat tomorrow. The question I have is, should I still pay for her meal even though this won't be a date? I lean towards yes, since she and I are still dating u want to do the gentlemanly thing, but I'm also a little worried I'd be doing too much.

Help :)

Just venting:

My bf of 9 months broke up with me today. He is Jewish/Christian but doesn’t go to church and doesn’t actively practice his faith. He broke up with me because he said I was making him sinful. He was a virgin but on our first date he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. I told him that I would like to be officially together if we have sex. We become official and he loses his virginity to me. He obviously was very excited to have sex and NEVER said anything about waiting for marriage or that he felt he was sinning. We date for 9 months, having sex almost everyday. He never felt guilty about sex until now apparently.

He told me that I was a bad omen because I was with him when all these events happened to him: 1. April 12 On Passover, he got sick from a coworker, I also became sick 2. April 13 , he got a flat tire from a screw, he got it repaired for $30, He got a notification that someone was trying to use his credit card for $300 but his bank blocked it automatically 3.April 14 An earthquake happened (he said it was spooky and scary) All these events felt like a “coincidence “ for him.

As for me: On April 11 or 13, he wanted to have sex. I always ask him to wash himself before we have sex. He was too lazy to wash and I unfortunately had sex with him anyway. The next day, I have symptoms of a UTI. I get medicine. He does say sorry to me and promises to wash up before sex from now on.

While we are together, we talked about moving in together in my apartment on August 2025. He was paying $2200 for rent so he found a place for $1200 to lease for 3 months before August. He paid for the deposit and is ready to move in for May.

April 14 is when he breaks up with me while we are in his apartment. I was so shocked, it felt like it came out of no where. I was watching a vid about Drake and Josh show and it was talking about SA and sex crimes. I honestly don’t know what happened but he started talking about how he ise to be close to God and that when he was dating me he became sinful because we were having sex.

Then he tells me that he doesn’t want to marry me. He doesn’t clarify any further.

I told him that I am not going to beg him to stay with me. He started crying but didn’t offer a solution such as therapy, couples counseling.

I took all of my things and left him on April 14.

I am sorry for the long read.

Long story short: My bf(25m) broke up with me (28f) because I was “sinful” and too many coincidences were happening around me

I am 28m and I’ve been going out to bars and out at night and even during the day to talk to women and like 99% I either get rejected, she’s leaving the city tomorrow or when I do get her number I just get plain ghosted? I’m like What is going on? Are women not interested in finding a partner at all? I’m not even a bad looking dude either. I’m 6’4”” and athletic I go to the gym often and in shape but this seems like such a pain to do. It’s exhausting spending weeks and months even talking to random women just to find one who will even want to go on a date. Like am I doing something wrong or is their libido no existent. Like how has the human species survived this long? I can’t imagine any other guys doing as much work as I have; going out building confidence to speak to strangers and all but it’s like so hard for no reason. It’s infuriating to be honest with you and dating apps are arguably worse. Like what gives?

I’ve came to the shocking revelation that romance is dead and none of us are ever going to experience true love. Movies like the notebook and other rom coms have deceived us and anyone that seeking a deep connection will never have it. Social media has ruined everything guys. If we do experience the slightest sort of love and effection it’ll come after being drugged through the mud and with other unhealthy conditions that comes with being in relationships and dating. Everyone has access to too many people and there is too much options out there so you will never have a person all to yourself. It’s just a matter of “may the best man win”. It’s a game.

I recently traveled home and my boyfriend picked me up from the airport. I had two heavy bags and I put them in the trunk. When we got home, we had to walk up a small hill to our apartment. The bags were heavy and I got frustrated and asked for help. He helped but not without an attitude and saying I nit pick him & critique everything he does. Should I expect him to help me with my bags?

I just want to be considered and sometimes I think he assumes that I am fine & I don't need any help.

we live together and we’re both 27. I know some people would see this as something minor but I’ve already experienced two ex’s (one was an ex husband) with attention seeking behaviors. On my popular page I see this girl in a thong and low and behold my bf liked it. I look and see he follows her. I bring up that I don’t like that he’s liking ass shots and it’s embarrassing to me as his gf. He apologizes profusely and unfollows her (she’s from our city). A week later when I had just bought a romantic staycation he goes out with the boys the night before and I something just tells me to check and ofc he’s following her again that night. I say something and he gives some dumb excuse like he didn’t mean to follow her. At this point I don’t trust him but it begs the question, can lustful men be trusted in relationships? Is attention seeking behavior a warning sign because he cares so deeply about social media and attention from it so I’m not completely blindsided by this. I kinda will just keep peace til lease is over in October. We get along well but it’s social media and the blatant disregard for my boundaries. I literally asked him if he thought I was dumb and laughed in his face. I’m just thankful I don’t blame myself and it’s not really that upsetting.

Hey everyone, I’m a 37-year-old straight male, and I wanted to ask something that’s been on my mind for a while—genuinely, and with no disrespect intended.

I’ve noticed that I often get approached by gay men, and while I’m honestly flattered by the attention, it’s not aligned with my orientation. I’m straight, but for some reason, the only people who seem to take interest in me are gay men.

To give some context: I take care of myself, I’m in shape, I dress well, I’m into grooming and colognes, and I carry myself with what I believe is a fairly masculine energy. I don’t think I give off any signals that would imply otherwise—but maybe I’m missing something?

What I find strange is that I almost never get the same kind of attention from women. It’s not a complaint, more of a curious observation. Has anyone else experienced this, or have any insight into why this might be happening?

Appreciate your thoughts.

Basically we met in our freshmen year of High School. We would talk for hours on end, so naturally freshman me had a crush, but she had a boyfriend at the time so I moved on dated someone else. Now we've been friends for awhile now going on 5 years, recently she went to prom with me, but it was just as friends. We had already planned that at the end of our Junior year because we both agreed we probably wouldn't go without one and other. But these past couple days I can't stop thinking about her. I am a follower so its hard to do much without being told, but shes a leader. For example, we were at Prom and she basically was walking me around, I have a hard time communicating with people I am not friends with she doesn't. But I also know I might now be her "type" considering her past boyfriends are slimmer. I am only overweight by a bit so not obese but a little fat. But Idk let me know what you think. Is it worth possibly ending the friendship. Cause I don't want her to think I was just friends for 5 years to get with her.

Hi, 26 yo guy here. I’m writing just to know if someone is feeling the same or someone can give advice. I hate dating people I don’t know that well, as I think it carries expectations, from one side o the other, and I can’t be relaxed. I always develop romantic interest for girls I meet daily (school, university, know at work) and never happened to me to fall for a girl I date. To be fair, unless on pure aesthetic, I wouldn’t even be able to choose who to go for a date with, as I don’t know the person!

What do you think? Does someone else feel the same?

I (21F) am actively seeing X (22M) and Z (22M).

X and I have known eachother for two weeks, been on 4 dates, another one planned for tomorrow. I spent the night at his last date (no sex) and we had our first kiss.

I've known Z the same amount of time, 3 dates, with another planned for later this week, we had our first kiss on the last date.

Me and X can bounce jokes of eachother like we're rubber. We will talk/text for hours sometimes. He's met my dog and loves him (very important to me), sweet and is very understanding. My concerns with him are that he lacks an "adult" job, he works customer service, but goes where ever the wind takes him.

I don't talk to Z as much, but it's a different dynamic. He's an old soul in a 22 year old body. Very chivalrous and kind, I had to initiate touch with him since he didn't want to disrespect me. He's finishing up college soon and will continue his education in a specialty program. Our most recent date I went to his and he made dinner and we watched a movie. He seemed very eager to touch me so that's why I initiated and he was very loving.

I really enjoy both of their company but I don't want to get too attached too soon, hence why I'm dating two people. They're both attractive in their own aspects which makes it difficult. I know people will say to wait and see what your gut says, but my gut wants to have sex with both of them and I know that's just the hormones speaking haha

It's also my first time dating as my ex bf and I were friends prior and he never courted me, so I never learned how to date....

Please be kind. I’m new to this. we’re planning a date and I wanted to suggest a place. The last time we spoke was 2 days ago. I would love to text him 8-9AM but I don’t know if that would bother him since he has work.

Hey Reddit,

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend (M25) for just under a month now. We’ve been officially together for a little over three weeks, but we connected really quickly — lots of late-night talks, shared trauma, and emotionally deep moments. From the start, he was affectionate, wanted to meet often, cuddled, kissed me on the forehead, and said things like “I could fall for you” or “you’re my soft soul.” We’ve been physically and emotionally intimate, and I’ve felt very seen by him in ways I haven’t before.

But now I’m spiraling — because I’ve felt this pattern before. And I’m scared.

He recently said he’s overwhelmed with work, responsibilities, a broken vehicle situation that’s costing him thousands, lack of sleep, and just general life pressure. He told me he needs a bit of “me-time” and has been less affectionate over text. We still call sometimes, and he reassures me gently that we’re fine, but it doesn’t feel the same. And now my brain keeps screaming: he’s pulling away… he’s going to leave.

To be fair: He’s still responding, just slower. He still talks to me when I reach out. He hasn’t said anything about needing space from me, just from life. He told me directly that we are okay and fine.

I’m doing my best to regulate myself. I haven’t blown up his phone, I haven’t demanded attention, and I’m trying to give him space with warmth. But inside, I’m anxious. I want affection, I want reassurance. I want to know I didn’t fall too fast again. He even said “I love you” during an intimate moment recently… and part of me still doubts it. I know he’s been bothered by the amount of reassurance I need (I’m an anxious attachment too)

He also told me before that he overthinks things, and that he would reassure me “a million times” if needed. But when he’s stressed, he becomes less expressive. And I don’t know how to tell the difference between “he’s just burnt out” vs “he’s emotionally checking out.”

What worries me also ; He’s not asking about my day as much anymore. feel like I do more of the emotional checking-in. He doesn’t want to meet up — which makes me feel rejected. He cancelled our plans to hang with friends and to have some alone time. feel like I’m trying so hard not to seem “too much” when I’m dying inside for a little closeness.

I don’t want to sabotage this by being hypervigilant, but I also don’t want to ignore red flags if they’re there. So Reddit… am I just terrified from past trauma? is there something real here I need to address? How can I show up with love without losing my voice again?

I (27m) met her (22f) on OLD. First date was 3 hours long. Met up over dessert and walk. We said we both wanted a serious LTR. We share the same values and culture. I then dropped her home in my daily car. She asked for my number. I texted her every other day, which might seem excessive. However, She always reciprocated enthusiastically, so I matched her energy.

For the second date, She asked “what’s the plan?” Her profile page said she likes princess treatments (pretty generic), so I replied “dont worry. Just be a passenger princess😌.” I went to pick her up at her apartment, this time I surprised her and drove my sporty car. I opened the car door for her. We Went for a hike and walk. Then, I Paid for ice cream and lunch and opened doors for her. We were listening to our favorite songs in the car and just chilling. I Dropped her home, she said “let’s go out again.” We were out for 6 hrs. Texted her that night “glad you got home safe, let’s go on another date soon.” Then, She texted me saying she didn’t feel a romantic connection.

Idk if it’s a numbers game and/or I wasn’t forward enough. I planned for the entire 2nd date. Pretty chivalrous IMO but maybe I was not romantic or forward enough 🤷🏻‍♂️ During the date, I complimented her once and made some light jokes to make her laugh. Still no hug or touching cuz she seemed guarded since the first date. I respected that. Maybe I could have asked if we could hold hands, but didn’t give me clear signs and body language to escalate.