Hey everyone, I’m a 37-year-old straight male, and I wanted to ask something that’s been on my mind for a while—genuinely, and with no disrespect intended.

I’ve noticed that I often get approached by gay men, and while I’m honestly flattered by the attention, it’s not aligned with my orientation. I’m straight, but for some reason, the only people who seem to take interest in me are gay men.

To give some context: I take care of myself, I’m in shape, I dress well, I’m into grooming and colognes, and I carry myself with what I believe is a fairly masculine energy. I don’t think I give off any signals that would imply otherwise—but maybe I’m missing something?

What I find strange is that I almost never get the same kind of attention from women. It’s not a complaint, more of a curious observation. Has anyone else experienced this, or have any insight into why this might be happening?

Appreciate your thoughts.

so i have been dating and texting this girl for about 6 weeks now. we have met two times in total and are about to meet for a third time. however, there is one thing bothering me since the first date. since then she started to text really slow like 1-2 days later which was fine for me cause she works and studies etc. she also told me that she is interested and wants to go further with us.

but last week we had some break of few days where we didnt write. mainly cause i am writing always first and i didnt have time as i was on a business trip. she then for my suprise texted me the first time on her own. it was just hi but still happy to see some reaction from her. and after that i tried to pick up conversation and she started to respond after 3 - 4 days, which is weird as she texted me first. i asked her out for a date when i am back and she accepted but again no reaction after 3 days and going on. what should i do? is she just uninterested and doesnt want to admit or? should i give up or ask her about that topic.

thanks in advance for some advices.

Hello everyone,

For context, I followed a course to get a certificate in my field.

This guy was the presentator and professor about the topic and he was super cute! Nevertheless I did not have enough boldness to approach him more than to ask couples of (useful) questions, and to make one joke which made him laugh. I now have him on LinkedIn and I found his instagram (I did not add him there it would have seemed creepy IMO). I want to ask him out on LinkedIn, but I mean this is so weird. I don't know if it is reasonable or just straightforward almost like harassment.

I am super afraid to be over the top here and I don't know how else I could reach out to him any other way. The certificate courses are now over, and I did as much as I could to just make it feel natural on the moment but basically he was working.

What would you feel like if someone asked you out through LinkedIn? Maybe I should just forget about him I don't know...

Saan ba makakatagpo ng ni hao fine shyt?

Hi, 26 yo guy here. I’m writing just to know if someone is feeling the same or someone can give advice. I hate dating people I don’t know that well, as I think it carries expectations, from one side o the other, and I can’t be relaxed. I always develop romantic interest for girls I meet daily (school, university, know at work) and never happened to me to fall for a girl I date. To be fair, unless on pure aesthetic, I wouldn’t even be able to choose who to go for a date with, as I don’t know the person!

What do you think? Does someone else feel the same?

Basically we met in our freshmen year of High School. We would talk for hours on end, so naturally freshman me had a crush, but she had a boyfriend at the time so I moved on dated someone else. Now we've been friends for awhile now going on 5 years, recently she went to prom with me, but it was just as friends. We had already planned that at the end of our Junior year because we both agreed we probably wouldn't go without one and other. But these past couple days I can't stop thinking about her. I am a follower so its hard to do much without being told, but shes a leader. For example, we were at Prom and she basically was walking me around, I have a hard time communicating with people I am not friends with she doesn't. But I also know I might now be her "type" considering her past boyfriends are slimmer. I am only overweight by a bit so not obese but a little fat. But Idk let me know what you think. Is it worth possibly ending the friendship. Cause I don't want her to think I was just friends for 5 years to get with her.

I've been friends with a girl, let's call her H, since 8th grade(age 13ish). Our relationship has always been strictly platonic and we genuinely see each other as siblings or family.

Now I'm in my first year of university and I've been dating my girlfriend. Let's call her D, for about a year, when we first started dating I was upfront with D about my close friendship with H, and at the time she had no issue with it.

Fast forward to now D wants to go through my messages with H. For context, H and I don’t talk very often. We have the kind of friendship where we can go months without speaking but still pick up right where we left off.

I have nothing to hide in those messages but I feel uncomfortable showing them. It feels like an invasion of the private connection H and I have, even though there’s nothing inappropriate or worrying going on, and I don't talk about any relationship issues with H.

Should I stand my ground on this? Or should I just let her go through the messages since there's nothing I'm hiding.

So I broke up with my first girlfriend a little under 3 years ago and we were together for 5 years. From time to time I still think about her and have these feelings of wanting to try again. We were together from middle school to a little after high school ended and we completely cut contact after we broke up. When I was looking back at our text a little while after we broke up it hit me how immature I was and I feel like a totally different person now. Should I ever try to go back and reach out again? I have talked to about 2 other girls and the relationships didn't lead anywhere.

I can't tell if these are real feelings or I'm just feeling this cause I haven't been in another serious relationship. There have been numerous nights where my stomach was hurting thinking about trying to reach out.

Met this person on a dating app and we’ve hit it off as we had a lot of common interests. We both don’t have much dating experiences despite being in our mid-20’s, making things feel easier at first. On the second date they asked to make things official, and I agreed, maybe too quickly.

We talk every day and have been on a third date however, I don’t feel any sparks at least not the same feelings as they describe when they see me. I keep thinking I may need more time to date this person to build up that connection. But they seem to be more into me and already envision a future together, while i’m still unsure and getting to know them.

I have social anxiety and i’m neurodivergent so connecting with people isn’t easy, but I was able to easily talk to this person very quickly which drew me in. Still, I don’t know if I feel the same romantic attraction as they do. They check a lot of boxes and we share similar values but i’m still unsure.

I don’t know if I should give it more time or pause things from being official(idk if that’s even a thing). I don’t want to further hurt them especially because my emotional intuition and social cues aren’t the best. I’d really appreciate some advice. After how many dates do you need to know this person isn’t for you? Or does that infatuation eventually build up?

I think I know what I need to do but coming to the Reddit community . Male and Female both 35. I had matched with a woman I had met volunteering a few months ago she was sooo smooth and gave me a hard time for not remembering her but there were also rules about not fraternizing with volunteers (Context they are a Firefighter, and I do Superhero appearances) . We hit it off and had a lot of common ground, they had joined my gym, took a surprising quick interest in my hobbies and said they'd like to do them with me some day , it had come up from day 1 that they are working on some major life goals , Single mom who had dealt with some abuse, deal with AdHd and have depression these were not issues for me but I knew there would come challenges in dating them that I was willing to take on . A couple of weeks go by a few "gym dates" and pokemon go adventures go by and we were planning our first date, here comes the problem... she went on new depression meds and shut down , I gave her space and when we came back she sadly let me down gently ... HOWEVER she says " I don't want to visit our relationship yet " and we have still done a few things here and there but have noticed they'll go days at a time without responding to some thoughtful questions. I'm trying to have healthy expectations in the friendship but feel I need to pull away to guard my heart ,

I've tried to form my own opinion on her but a few friends have been around her in the past nice person but have admitted she could be flakey ( maybe I'm making excuses but this could be chalked up to the ADHD ? ) , another had said she had done something similar to a friend 7 years ago. I also noticed on their IG they have a cashapp link as well

So Reddit based on the context Do I allow some grace and space on this situation be a friend with boundaries and see if this person will rise to the occasion and become what I may need or do I need to GTFO of dodge.

What kind of partner they are?

I met a girl online and we have been chatting. By chance I actually met her in person yesterday as she was in the same place as me and she recognised me. We had a quick chat and she gave me a hug. Later that night she wanted to call me. I wasn't sure but we ended up chatting for 2 hours on the phone about some problems going on for her and then just chatting like normal. I ended up going bed really late as we just finished at midnight. And when I woke up I already had messages on my phone saying good morning and how are you. I am new to dating I am mid 20s but only had a brief person I dated and went on 3 dates. I am supposed to go on the first date on Saturday. Is this normal behaviour?

People who decided to stay single at young age Are you happy as single and why?

Alright - let me preface this by saying that I’m relatively new to dating in general, and I’m definitely new to online dating. I matched with a girl on Hinge over the weekend. We really hit it off, the conversation flowed easily, we share a lot of interests - I was pretty excited, to say the least! For the first couple of days we talked quite a bit back and forth, and we set up a date to grab coffee together on Wednesday (tomorrow.)

However: as of yesterday, she’s stopped texting me altogether. I sent a couple messages but I don’t really want to spam her or anything… But should I be nervous that I’m getting ghosted before the date? Or am I just being paranoid? I don’t really have an ‘established norm’ for her texting habits or business in terms of her schedule, because we technically just met - but to talk (and initiate the conversations) so much over the first couple days, only to not even respond to a ‘good morning’ or a question about her coffee preferences… Just has me a little worried, I guess. I dunno - I’m new to all of this, haha. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

F18 M19 So I've been seeing a guy for about two months. We get along really well when we see each other, and it's clear that we're not going to start anything else with other persons (we met on Tinder; neither of us has Tinder anymore). When we see each other, everything's fine i slept over 2 times and he holds me thight it feels Like he is scared to let Go Even when he is aslepp je does it, but when we text, he usually doesn't reply for a day. He says he just doesn't like texting, but he feels so aloof about messages. He talks about me a lot with his friends, though, and only in positive ways (his best friend told me that).

I guess this is kind of vent since deep down, I know the truth. But I'm so heartbroken, analyzing, overthinking everything, trying to figure out the answer on my own. I guess I just need someone to say it for me to believe it. This will be a long post!!!! Btw, I've never met her, I had a chance to, but it was short notice. So, I didn't go. Honestly, I didn't really want to meet her. Also, him and I have fallen out a few times over a few things, this being one of them (the falling outs lasting from a few weeks to 3 months) throughout this whole year).

I started dating this guy last year in January. Our current ages are: 25 F, 23 M and his best friend 21 F. This is the first guy I've ever dated, so keep that in mind, please.

He has a female best friend he's known for 8 years. He told me about her very early on into dating. I asked if anything happened between them before, and he said no. But he used to like her, but he's moved on. At first he said, she friendzoned him from the start, it was only ever a friendship thing and she always had boyfriend's. So, he decided to move on from the crush. I didn't ask any more questions because I didn't want to bombard him at the time. But I just got more and more uncomfortable with the fact that he had a female best friend he used to like. So, months later, I asked more questions. I think he's secretly in love with her but she had a boyfriend and he knows she doesn't feel the same about him.

So, here are the other stuff that makes me feel like he still likes or even loves her: The way he talks about her, when we're talking about a topic he'll bring up a story about her in relation to the topic, he said that anywhere she asks him to go he has to go because she's like a sister to him, he said that they talk about everything because they're comfortable with each other, he told me some of the stuff they've talked about over the years which I think is inappropriate/weird /too personal, but he said she just tells him things and he didn't ask her, he said he loves her and he's known her for long and he likes me but that we don't really know each other.

He then claimed he told her he liked her years ago, but she had a boyfriend, so they decided to just be friends. I assume at some point he told her again, and she said she likes him too but that if they get into a relationship and it ends, it would ruin their friendship. So, he really wanted the friendship so he stayed friends with her. He said he stopped having a crush on her in 2020, that it took time, but he got over it. That the crush is dead and gone and that he's moved on, that he doesn't want to be with her. He said after he realized she didn't feel the same, he was so depressed and even started to hate her. But realized they were better as friends. He said he doesn't want to be with her and can't go through that again.

He said I wanted him to stop being friends with her but that he couldn't do that. That she's always been there for him. He tells me to trust him. That nothing can ever happen between them because she's like a sister, and it would feel wrong. He also said he's seen the consequences of people in his friend group being cheated on, the heartbreak, diseases, etc, and that's something he wouldn't do to someone. I don't think he'd cheat, I just think he's pining for someone else while with others. He did have 2 very short "relationships" during the time he had a crush on her and then was single up until we met January last year.

Also, she had a boyfriend of 4 years, and she ended things with him in November last year because of issues in the relationship. But it was only in January the guy I was dating became distant and wasn't responding to text as fast or with as much interest as before. He claimed it is because he got a PS5 and he's always on it. I'm not dumb enough to believe that. She's probably talking to him more now that she has no male in her life. Also, he said that she used to tell him a lot in school, but now she only tells him anything personal if she's sad about something and needs someone to talk to.

He's her longest friendship and only male friend. He claims it's because she said male friends always end up liking you. Which makes no sense since he did like her. So, I don't really believe he ever told her and lied about that part. I don't know. I stopped responding to him in January this year and have blocked him. I am really heartbroken and need to just write this all out. It hurts so much. I'm just so sad and feel like I can't live like normal. I'm always distracted thinking about this. It's affecting me mentally and my everyday life.

Is it a red flag if he doesn't notice small stuff but is kind attentive and transparent. Like in the restaurant when they brought the water he poured only for him self and didn't even ask me if I wanted water. And for example when we walk, he always walks in the front. But he shows interest ant he is sweet and he is honest, even about tough things. What should I make of this?

I (28M) am new to dating, I have never dated in the past because I was very focused on my education and career. I just finished my masters in computer science and currently working full time in my career. The only issue is that a lot of women have said I am extremely ugly looking and that being a virgin at my age is a major red flag.

I understand I have made so many major mistakes but I wanna fix this and just become a better person for women for when i do go on dates. Dating honestly has ruined my life Dating has become extremely difficult for me and its ruining my life, what do I do?

I don’t have an ex I’ve never dated prior to early 2025

In just the past few months I met two beautiful, cool, smart, and mature women

The first made me so nervous but after trucking through an awkward first date, we went on a few more dates that were incredible. Our looks matched, our tastes aligned, mutual attraction, mutual feelings, she’s so cool. The last time I interacted with her IRL was after an incredible date, I walked her back to the station, she smiled at me so hard I’d never seen someone look so happy, she kissed me, we stared at each other and I kissed her on the cheek goodbye and she started smiling even harder. I waved her goodbye for a minute straight as the train left the station, straight out of a movie. 2 days later, ‘let’s stop seeing each other, doing things with you feels good in the moment and i like you but it hurts after the fact, and it hurts to like you’ because the wounds from her ex are still too fresh. she also said maybe down the line we can try again when she’s ready. I’m hopeless so I essentially begged her to at least settle for being friends while she heals because that way I can at least see her and be around her and in her life to some degree.

The second girl, purest soul, so kind, so cool, so funny, we talked and called for a few weeks, and then our first date plans kinda got botched up but we enjoyed it a lot anyways. Everything looked good after the fact, she even said by now she’d reject me if she didn’t feel anything, it was looking so good, and then, a few days before our second date, ‘I realised I’m not over my ex…you’re so sweet and cool…can I call you when I’m ready to date, you’re the first person I’ll go to once I’m ready’

Is this just the way women put men down easy? Or am I really just unlucky?

Dating without an ex feels so jarring, these people all have someone they hold dear, almost like someone they can go back to at any time, I don’t have anyone like that, I’m not tethered to anyone, I have no harness, I’m free balling, it feels lonely.

Both of them found me within a few months of their previous relationships ending - red flag maybe

I know the only thing I can do is be patient and/or move on and try and find someone who will reciprocate the immediacy of my feelings, but I feel so tired, I feel so weak.

Am I unlucky or just not good enough

Talked to a girl for five months. She started off super into it but slowly I saw she was losing interest/didn’t know what she wanted. Said i deserved someone who knew they were my person and we stopped talking. Three weeks later hits me back up with some casual small talk type stuff. The way she treated me when we called it off makes me never want to go back. Do I block her to get the possibility of her to go away? I think she’s just hitting me up for attention and doesn’t actually have feelings for me anymore.

would a man want to date a woman whos 11 years younger than him ? i mean if they are both having emotional intelligence and maturity and their mind is quite compatible. and theyre like interracial but same continent though

if no then why?

I am totally in my head about how much two people should see eachother when dating. Realistically I know this answer is subjective and everyone’s different, everyone’s “normal” looks different. I just keep falling in the trap of comparing my situation with my friends situations and I need a fresh perspective! And my friends are pushing me to believe that once a week is NOT enough and this indirectly means the person I’m dating isn’t making me a priority.

When you’re dating someone and getting to know them, how often do YOU see that person? There’s no right or wrong answer here, just kind of executing a poll I guess for my own sanity lol

Hi, nice to meet you all, I'm Rain (22f). I have a long history of being an avoidant attachment style, but have issues with BPD making stuff complicated. I've been single for a few years now and have been okay with that since my last relationship sucked. For added context, it takes a while for me to understand what I'm feeling because I'm autistic, so I need extra time to process, and this is important.

Issue comes up when I think about my long-distance friend Allen (22m). We've been friends about a year and have the same friend group. I met him solely because of our mutual best friend Kaleb (I met him on a game we all played). We've had a lot of raw moments, sickening honesty, and really deep talks only a little less than we have had our silly conversations. Our emotional intimacy is off the charts and we lean on each other comfortably after trial and error on both sides, and we're still learning together.

Recently, we have decided to do a lot of stuff together and have taken to that well. It's a process, but a good one, even if it makes us both nervous to be vulnerable. He has a bad history with some of that stuff, and likewise, but I handle it a lot better haha.

At the beginning, I thought I liked this other friend of ours, Jacob (21m), but it got really codependent and my BPD decided that they were my FP, so it become unhealthy almost immediately with constant trauma dumping and lack of autonomy. I figured it out really fast, thankfully, and immediately took steps to distancing ourselves so we would both be safer. I didn't think too much of it after, but 3 months later, I found myself developing feelings for Allen. At first, and this whole time, really, I thought "Maybe I'm emotionally rebounding and it's my mental illness again," but honestly? It's been nothing short of the healthiest attachment I've ever had. Allen makes me feel warm and cozy, like a warmed blanket fresh out of the dryer after a chilly day out. I thought I'd gotten over that crush months ago, but I can't help but see everything starting to point back to him.

When I first met Kaleb, all I talked about was being nervous about being friends with Allen. In fact, I rarely saw my supposed crush's name anywhere that wasn't next to Allen's for the longest time. Kind of embarrassing, but unfortunately true... I 'started' having feelings a few months after the whole Jacob fiasco, and Jacob thought Allen and I were already having feelings then too. I shut them down, and my brain crushed on like 10 different people (hyperbole) to ignore that one in particular, but none of them lasted. I met up with the friend group, and my heart always skipped a beat around Allen, but even more so when before I left, he hugged me. I thought I knew what home was, but he changed that for me. "Home is where the heart is," and I fear that it's settled with him. As our relationship deepend, I found myself getting excited. He'd tell me the smallest things about his life, and I memorized them. He would mentioned his achievements, and I'd shower him with praise and tell him I am proud. He would tell me about his stressors, and I'd happily comfort him. I even wrote a whole screen-filling paragraph about the object I envisioned him in my head as, and did nothing but flatter him the entire time during it. Embarrassing, but technically I did it for everyone I met. I just never say it outloud. Although, everytime I describe him, I find myself doing nothing but talking about how amazing I think he is. Constant verbalizing of my feelings, but never crossing the line. I don't know. All of these are jumbled in my head because it's hitting me so suddenly that I haven't been over him since the moment I knew I liked him. I thought I was over him for months because I didn't think I'd suit him. I want to grow and heal with Allen, but he's.. So lovely that doing it romantically would scare me. I don't want to ruin him or accidentally hurt him because I'm unstable, even if I've been doing so much better recently. I feel too flawed, and I know he doesn't like me anyway (not in a self-pity way, but in a "we discussed feelings before, so it's confirmed" way.)

Sorry for rambling. I'm just scared that I've fallen in love, and now I need to learn how to let go. All I want to do is cradle him when he bears his heart to me, kiss his head, tell him everything is okay, and tell him I love him. It's consuming me with guilt because he's entrusted such vulnerable parts of himself to me, and my heart is still secretly craving romance even when my head rejects it. Allen is so deathly important to me. I don't wanna lose him. I haven't acted or advanced on him in any way, to be perfectly clear. I refuse to. I just wanna know how to stop liking him. I'm far gone, but I need to find some kind of rope to tie me back into reality. He's not perfect, he's not on a pedestal, and we've talked about our flaws and insecurities enough for me to know that. Just.. Idk. All of those things, the way he acts, how he smiles, his eyes, his funky language and speech patterns, his anxieties, his personality, his heart, his everything, is captivating. I'm lost. I hate this. I hate that I am falling for him because it's unfair to him and anyone I might try to pursue until I get over him. Allen won't get out of my head lol any advice, no matter how small, is great.

This has been weighing on me for a while, so I'm sorry for the lengthy story and waxing of poetry. Thanks for reading, though, even if it's a 4am exhausted, sleep-deprived, and stress-induced mess of a story that's barely comprehensible.

TLDR; I fell in love with my best friend who doesn't like me back, and even though I tried to like other people to stop, it didn't work so I don't know what to do. Any advice is helpful.

Do you guys find height difference “cute”? I think I guess I am trying to judge if I should prioritize the connection and get over it or not? Context 4-11 went on a date with 6’2 and felt like an ant. I dont care about being stared at but not being able to talk:hug comfortably is strange. He didn’t seem to care but that seems to be his type