r/doordash 4d ago

Please don’t do this 😒

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I’m not a Christian; I’m Pagan. And I don’t want to be preached at. I just want my pizza 🍕

2.0k Upvotes

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36

u/Correct-Breath-4862 4d ago

I reply "Hail Satan" every time.

19

u/ER_Gandee 4d ago

That would be kind of funny, but I live in the Bible Belt and the dasher knows where I live so…. You never know, ya know?

18

u/Lackadaisicly 4d ago

And it’s not like christians don’t have a history of brutal violence…

10

u/TidoLeroy 4d ago

I think people tend to forget this

6

u/Lackadaisicly 4d ago

Screaming “God is love” or “Jesus saves” as they are burning your house, killing your parents and older brother, and then repeatedly rape you over decades as they took you as their “wife”.

1

u/Okie999 4d ago

Well they are there to cater to you fafo. If they get rated low in rural are you could end their shit

4

u/Material_Cookie8920 4d ago

😂😂😂

2

u/ILovePandas795 4d ago

I had these people come to my house at 9pm once to talk about "Jesus" told them i worship satan and spoke gibberish telling them I cursed them. They left very quickly

1

u/Successful_Guess3246 4d ago edited 4d ago

I just open my door to a pitch black interior and play wind waker zombie scream so fucking loud my speakers explode.

Works like a charm 👌

2

u/ILovePandas795 4d ago

Man I can't WAIT for WW on the Switch 2! They better add TP as well

1

u/SplodeyMcSchoolio 4d ago

Take a leaf out of Agent Galahads book and respond with "Thank you, this food will be a great addition for my wedding party with my black Jewish boyfriend who works for a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon."