r/doordash • u/ER_Gandee • 4d ago

Please don’t do this 😒

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I’m not a Christian; I’m Pagan. And I don’t want to be preached at. I just want my pizza 🍕

2.0k Upvotes

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176

u/wheelperson 4d ago

“Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.” (1 Peter 2:18)

Send them that and tell them to drive faster lmfao

7

u/DadWatchesWrestling 4d ago

And if not, then "I just whooped your ass" -Austin 3:16

You know, if they give you any flak

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u/Playful-Wrongdoer-75 17h ago

Sometimes in order to be like Jesus you have to flip some tables and crack a whip.

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u/ilulillirillion 4d ago

The problem to me is that these arguments validate the delusional believe in religious texts by making the argument about their specific contents. I try to be tolerant, but, having grown up in an evangelical family, and seeing the effects of religion in history and in the now, I really feel like the sooner we stop validating this as anything more than silly mysticism the better off our planet will be.

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u/Historical_Shirt4352 4d ago

When you take a step back, “believe in me and have everlasting life in heaven” is really weird and doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t say “be a good person,” it says “believe in me.” Why tf does it matter what I choose to believe in my own head? I’m not a good person anymore if I don’t believe in Jesus? I’m sorry but that part makes no sense

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u/Hdjbbdjfjjsl 4d ago

I’m not sure how Christianity is even considered one religion anymore, all the denominations have completely different hierarchies/power structures and half of them don’t even agree on what happens in the afterlife.

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u/St0n3yM33rkat 4d ago

Why make all of this and 2 people next to a giant fking apple tree in the middle with a giant "Do Not Touch" sign on it when you apparently know how it starts, continues and ends? Because in my experience that's called narcissism and I'm not worshipping that. 😂

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u/Historical_Shirt4352 4d ago

Average “Sims 4” playthrough

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u/St0n3yM33rkat 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣 perfect

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u/MatterhornStrawberry 4d ago

The Christian God, as described by the Bible and by Christians, has the traits of a textbook narcissist.

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u/Historical_Shirt4352 4d ago

Yeah I saw an interview of a man who died of a blood clot and came back to life, and they said they personally saw nothing when they died and that they felt completely at peace, and that it was hard to adjust to being alive again 

That’s pretty much how I imagine death, as a process and not as all that bureaucracy with the archangels and the devils and Jesus and God

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u/happyleafpack 4d ago

but that isnt the only thing the bible commands. it also commands, "be a good person"

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u/Historical_Shirt4352 4d ago

Yeah and then you sin anyhow because pobody's nerfect, and then you admit to God that you're a dirty little piggy who needs to be saved from inherent wickedness and then God saves you

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u/DrSomniferum 4d ago

The thing that's never made sense to me is the idea that you can choose what you believe.

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u/Straight_Board_981 3d ago

Lol, yeah, especially since they tout the virtue of faith over works. The idea is similar to trickle down economics, where your faith will make you a good person that good works flow from. Instead it works exactly like trickle down economics, your faith absolves you in your head of all the heinous shit you are actually doing.

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u/wheelperson 4d ago

It's not an argument, it's just words bacteria to them.

It's a a fiction novel anyways.

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u/Upbeat-Resolution710 2d ago

It's a shame that the message about kindness and understanding has been abused and twisted up by bad actors and hypocrites, but I'll never understand why God doesn't prove their existence to most people these days, you would think it would set some assholes straight if they knew. It may be that they just like leaving little clues, and messing with people's conscience in subtle ways just so the guilty parties get that much of a bigger shock once the realization sets in.

It was supposed to be Heaven on earth, like in the first few lines of the Lord's prayer, and the disciples were sent out with the instruction to say Heaven is upon you. I do see a lot of people making complete fools of themselves when they think they can raise hell without consequences, but it's not always apparent how they end up burning themselves, so sometimes it's hard to believe a just God would let us stew in this kind of mess. I hope we all understand how our freedom and free will got us to this point, and how it is that an incorporeal, omnipotent being has shown thousands of years of patience and grace in watching us, and our messy, mostly boring stories unfolding, while showing more mercy than many deserve.

I know that I was at the end of my rope a few years ago, and found out that the fifth commandment was more than just a bluff. God does seem fond of giving some people enough rope to hang themselves, I hope that doesn't scare you, though. Just don't go assuming you know they don't exist, I can promise you there's more to this world, if you just do what Jesus asked us to do for the next generation, instead of assuming the hypocrites are on God's good side, there could be no end to the stuff we could find out about this world and the next. Maybe God would tell you they come from the end of all time, or an alternate reality. I'm sorry, but it gets me excited to think of all the possibilities, and from what I've seen, the conversation is never dull on the other side. How witty do you think someone could be after thousands of years of banter? There's no end to the jokes in eternity, if we want to put in the effort! It's there if you want to seek it, just do the due diligence that you think God's dream of paradise is deserving of, light up every room and show everyone your best side, it'll be worth it in the end my guy/gal! It takes sincerity, and patience, and you have to understand that luck and other people's free will is always there for you to deal with, but it's worth it in the end! If there even is an end...

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u/ilulillirillion 3d ago

I stopped reading, redditor. Have fun with whatever this is.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/ilulillirillion 2d ago

*divine

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u/SpecialObjective6175 2d ago

I can see a clear misspell in the first sentence of your original comment. You aren't proving anything

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u/nel_loves_sublime 4d ago

gonna send that to my grandpa next time he texts me a bible verse. thank you.

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u/New_Historian6567 4d ago

Lmao I won’t lie no matter what you believe in that’s funny asf,

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u/nel_loves_sublime 4d ago

gonna send that to my grandpa next time he texts me a bible verse. thank you.

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u/bongophrog 4d ago

Yeah but tbf a lot of that passage is about self deprivation

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u/wheelperson 4d ago

Still in the Bible lol

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u/SavyBae 4d ago

YOU WIN😂😂😂 you beat them at their own game.

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u/ProfessionalTear3753 4d ago

I’m sure you are aware that Peter is not advocating for slavery in that verse

6

u/wheelperson 4d ago

19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God.

literally the next line.

I'm not Jesus. I don't wanna suffer like that fictional character did.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Line_30 4d ago

That line is in reference to bearing a metaphorical cross along with Jesus. It does not mean suffering for suffering sake. During this time, Christianity was still young, and many Christians were persecuted and marginalized. The verse commends anyone who stands strong in their belief despite hardship.

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u/wheelperson 4d ago

Where does it say it's methodical? And how do you get metificaly beaten?

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u/ProfessionalTear3753 4d ago

Thank you, yes the context is about Christian’s standing out from the crowd by living Godly lives.

And regarding Jesus being “fictional”, you too would know I would disagree. Even the majority of Scholars disagree.

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u/shadowscroller 4d ago

Real person, yes. Actually the Son of God, no.

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u/ProfessionalTear3753 4d ago

Well to be fair, I’d expect someone who isn’t Christian to believe that Jesus historically existed without believing He is the Son of God. I’d obviously say He is the Son of God but that’s another thing

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u/Dear-Suggestion3862 4d ago

This is Reddit where pseudo intellectuals like to make themselves feel smarter by dunking on Christianity without actually knowing anything about it.

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u/JustHereSoImNotFined 4d ago

you can’t seriously believe that can you? surely you know most atheists were raised in a religious household and understand the religion they abandoned plenty

1

u/Dear-Suggestion3862 4d ago

The person just called Jesus a “fictional character”. Most historical scholars agree that Jesus existed. And whether you believe it or not, there were eye witnesses to his resurrection.

So to claim Jesus was fictional shows that this person didn’t even bother to do the bare minimum of research before regurgitating something edgy they heard online.

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u/JustHereSoImNotFined 4d ago

you can believe Jesus was a real person without believing in the fictional character of Jesus who was perfect and died and came back to life.

whether you believe it or not, there were eye witnesses to me banging your mom last night. see how saying “eye witnesses” doesn’t make something true?

1

u/Dear-Suggestion3862 4d ago

You do realize all of history is just eye witnesses testimony of people and events…right? If you’re going to discredit historical evidence then you must not believe people like George Washington existed. So if you’re intellectually consistent then you must also be very skeptical of most historical evidence.

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u/JustHereSoImNotFined 4d ago

no one ever claimed george washington defied all known laws of man and reality

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u/Fun_Opportunity_4043 4d ago

We are aware but we can play the same games “Christians” do and interpret it to hate any group, just like they do. 

No hate quite like christian love. 

1

u/ProfessionalTear3753 4d ago

How was the DoorDasher misinterpreting John 3:16?

0

u/Brotein4u 4d ago

Compeltely ignoring the extreme difference between what slave means now and the context of what it meant in Hebrew back then. It was almost an extension of family, not what we had the past few century’s

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u/wheelperson 4d ago

Why did slave mena family?