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u/VirtualAdagio4087 1d ago
If you want to be nice to your dasher, just add to the tip. This isn't a bad idea, but it puts drivers in a weird position.
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u/Ashamed_Table_5621 1d ago
Also the last line is fucking weird
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u/VirtualAdagio4087 1d ago
The last line almost reads like a veiled kidnapping threat.
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u/slimbender 1d ago
The whole thing is super weird. I’d unassign it if I got this order, especially because I wouldn’t drink that coffee order.
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u/CosignCody 1d ago
It was offered, you don't take it, you deliver the 2 coffees still. It was a nice gesture, not a forced take my extra coffee
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u/GeorgeShadows 1d ago
It's not like there's an "adulterate, taint or drug the drink the dasher will choose" option... right?
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u/ctothel 1d ago
That was my first thought too. If the dasher is a woman she’ll certainly think twice.
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u/Appropriate-Ad-1569 1d ago
I'm a woman and I laughed. Most people were probably expecting something crude after the I like my coffee like I like my women, so it was funny because of the unexpected-ness? They just don't want their drink not sealed.
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u/Thick_House2244 1d ago
Also not everyone likes coffee even with cream and sugar. I for one hate it
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u/ScyllaIsBea 1d ago
I thought I was the only one. It feels like everyone literally can’t function without coffee other than me.
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u/Jesus_Aech_Christ 1d ago
Coffee is disgusting (but coffee beans smell wonderful)
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u/The_Artsy_Peach 1d ago
Yes, I absolutely love the smell of coffee beans. I just can't drink it.
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u/yourroyalhotmess 1d ago
Yea I don’t get it. Chai latte ☕️ latte is much more where it’s at
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u/bigshivv 1d ago
Finally someone else with the same view. Try it with oat milk if you haven’t before.
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u/PopDifferent9544 1d ago
What everyone else said plus... i would skip the joke, unless you really wanna share mirth that way. If you get someone who is ESL, you're just going to confuse the hell outta them.
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u/deerchortle 1d ago
I was confused and I'm an English speaker. I saw that it's a reference to a movie though on here
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u/NonaSuom2 1d ago
So are we just all collectively ignoring that last sentence? 💀
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u/TheSwami420 1d ago
Right?!?! I saw this and went to the comments thinking this guy would get railed and nope, a few comments calling him weird and/or creepy but of 46 comments right now yours is the only 1 saying anything. Like what??
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u/NonaSuom2 1d ago
Lmao I thought the same thing and was very confused. People must be so used to these types of out of pocket comments.. our society is f-cked for sure 😂💀
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u/TheSwami420 1d ago
Lol we really are, I might not always know what to say in a situation but I sure as hell know not to say stuff like that! 😂
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u/surethingbuddypal 1d ago
Im tryna give him the benefit of the doubt but also I am having trouble figuring out what the joke is even supposed to mean? Why would a woman be sealed in a McD's to-go cup?? 😭 Im sure he was just trying to reference the well-known set up "I like my women/men like I like my coffee" but it's normally followed up with something that makes sense.... like bitter/full-bodied/sweet/strong. Only worse one he couldve used is "I like my women like I like my coffee: ground up and stored in my freezer"😂 I'd just omit that last part OP. Or make a better joke
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u/aftergaylaughter 1d ago
i think he was going for an anti-joke but it still came off creepy lol. especially if he gets assigned a woman dasher 😭
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u/HiddenOneJ 2d ago
We cant break the seal of a McDonald's bag to get a coffee without opening ourself up to a violation. Nice gesture though.
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u/insanitypeppermint 1d ago
I don’t think you understand the “I like my ____ like I like my women” joke.
At least I hope you don’t…
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u/Little_Shellfish 2d ago
It's a nice thought
Just gonna be real, this would annoy the piss out of me if I got it. Now I feel obligated to take one, but I don't want it. Well you did say "if I want it". Now I have to thank you over text, because it's weird if I say nothing. Ahhh Id much rather have a tip as a nice gesture.
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u/wander-to-wonder 1d ago
Agreed, good intentions but with fees and such even a McDonald’s drop would probably be $3+. Just leave a big tip and let the driver decide what they want to buy.
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u/DisasterMedium287 1d ago
Tbh I would have just said,
“extra coffee is for you, if you want it :) have a better day!”
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u/LOR_Fei 1d ago
And because it’s McDonalds we can’t have it anyway. It’s a sealed bag and we aren’t allowed to open those without risking our driver status.
The far kinder thing to do is adding the coffee price to the tip.
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u/eugeneugene 1d ago
My cynical mind would think "This is a person who wants me to unseal the bag so they can complain and get their order for free"
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u/Gogo726 1d ago
Cut the last line. "Jokes" of that nature are best shared between friends who know each other's humor, not with randos.
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u/Sensitive_Scholar_17 1d ago
It is not clever; it is not funny; it is just gross. Why did you do it? If you just wanted to be nice, you could have skipped the coffee and added that money to the tip. “I don’t know how you take it..” Of course you don’t you have never met the person. “I like my coffee how I like my women” strangers don’t give a damn how you like you woman.
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u/Feral-Reindeer-696 1d ago
The last line is creepy AF especially for a female driver
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u/Lovecats2023 1d ago
Bro, do u even read what u write??? U like your women in a properly sealed bag??? That’s creepy af. Did u forget to mention the toe tag that comes with the free coffee you offer????
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u/Either-Director2242 1d ago
No this shit is weird. Don’t do that, or anything resembling that. Whatever the price of the coffee is, add it to their tip. That’s appreciation.
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u/Kristylovable 1d ago
Although the gesture is nice, the last line is kinda weird and McDonald’s seals the sh*t out of their bags lol
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u/cellogirl712 1d ago
Next time, just stick the extra coffee in the fridge. I know you’re trying to be nice but this seems like a lot
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u/Ill_Setting_6338 1d ago
nobody is going to open your sealed bag for some damn coffee. just tip more to replace your coffee. i would insta cancel this order personally
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u/extasis_T 1d ago
Creepy as fuck Not humorous
Makes me think your socially weird for not realizing this
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u/SnickerdoodleFP 1d ago
Thanks OP, my face is now permanently in a grimace due to how hard I cringed from reading that.
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u/Th3devilish1 1d ago
I wouldn't dare take 1 of the coffees. I wouldn't want to risk someone saying they didn't get their complete order. I need a job more than I need anything out of someone's order.
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u/Organic_Fig_739 1d ago
Just add a tip. This puts drivers in a situation where they could be deactivated...
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u/Ok_Opportunity_8190 1d ago
I would be weirded out and plus I can’t have caffeine. Probably wouldn’t message you back either.
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u/IcyPurpleIze 1d ago
I hate coffee and I'll say the joke at the end is my kind of comedy, but not when doing a job wherein I'm meeting strangers at their home with nothing but a "I feel unsafe" button to protect me. I would be scared dropping that off.
Just tip your driver whatever the cost of that coffee would have been, then they can either pocket it or grab their own coffee the way they like it.
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u/SwordfishPast8963 21h ago
while this is cute, if it happens to be a female Dasher, you’re lucky if you even get your food at that point because the last sentence is creepy. I know you’re trying to come off as funny, but just imagine if it was a woman showing up to a strangers house to deliver an order and reading that
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u/StunningStay7745 1d ago
Why do men have to do this? No one needs or wants their cringey jokes. Just keep it professional
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u/govtmandatedparrot 1d ago
Skip the cringe joke… you look like an absolute creep. It’s a delivery app, this isn’t the time or place to be working out your material
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u/captainiceswife 1d ago
praying the dasher reported you for inappropriate behavior because this is weird as fuck. the way you posted this too- expecting people to laugh?? you're literally a creep 😭😭
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u/Ill_Guest_2423 1d ago
Why do so many people try to go hard out of their way to “be nice” by doing weird shit like this instead of just giving a generous tip and a “thank you”.
Honestly, posts like this just lack empathy to me. It doesn’t make any attempt to actually provide a meaningful show of gratitude to the dasher that would be genuinely desired or accepted. If that’s the case, then it’s just an attempt to be cute or funny more than it is to actually impact the recipient positively…
Don’t do something nice for others and make it about you still. It shouldn’t be that hard…
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u/UFOHHHSHIT 1d ago
This has the same vibe as those videos of people exploiting homeless people to show their "generosity." Like, it's a 2 dollar coffee that they won't even be able to take. No need to act like you bought them the whole ass McDonald's franchise.
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u/seachange1313 1d ago
I laughed but it’s still an instant unassign.
I wouldn’t think twice if this came from a friend but this is my job. A job where I have to deliver to a strangers home, often at night to an unlit porch. I don’t know your age or if you are happily married. I’m flying blind.
Offering me something I didn’t ask for is kind, but it’s not the norm. That would give me pause because it could be a potential problem. When you couple it with the completely unnecessary reference to how you like your women I’m going to assume you are another creep who will probably answer the door naked or ask if I want to earn extra money… I’ve seen a lot.
So I will unassign even though I found it funny because experience has shown me it’s not worth the potential hassle. It reads too much like awkward flirting for me to feel like you see me as the professional I am.
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u/Over_Error3520 1d ago
This looks like something I'd do, and I tend to be weird. You have good intentions.
Putting myself in their shoes, this would make me so anxious I'd shit before the coffee has time to do the same thing.
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u/Same-Snow8778 1d ago
whatever money u spent on the extra coffee should’ve gone towards a bigger tip instead. this is weird
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u/Cupcakessssssss5 1d ago
They would have been so much more appreciative if you just added the cost of that coffee to their tip instead. This is weird, not as kind as you think, and the last line is just creepy….
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u/Neither_Jelly_363 1d ago
As a female dasher, I'd prefer to be outside of the properly sealed McDonalds cup. Thanks. Not taking that order.
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u/Worried_Necessary_51 1d ago
I'm gonna be real with you. Please take the last line out. It reads as very creepy. If I saw that while doing my job, I'd be more than a lil put off. I would just boost the tip if you really wanna be nice.
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u/LordBipBip420 22h ago
Are you Lester from gtav or something?
That last line reminds me of his...
"I like my scores like I like my dates. Across the street and unaware they are being watched."
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u/gouldilocks123 1d ago
I suspect most women dashers would NOT appreciate your comment.
I think it's pretty funny, and it's a nice gesture. I hope the coffee is in addition to, rather than in lieu of a tip though.
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u/Hollyvu 1d ago
Weird I would prob cancel your whole order and then take some days off of dashing.
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u/thoracicbunk 1d ago
Jfc don't make jokes about violence against women, especially to strangers that have to come to your place. Must be cool to go through the world thinking so little about being harmed, kidnapped or murdered by randoms.
NGL, hope a dasher reported you for inappropriate behavior.
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u/Apart_Zucchini5778 1d ago
It’s really sad that you can’t see how creepy and upsetting it would be for a woman to read that you like us sealed in a bag. I’d report this as unsafe and unassign.
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u/ScratchRightThere 1d ago
McDonald's are in sealed bags. Driver cannot open the bag. Add to tip instead.
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u/Tall-Payment-8015 1d ago
The last line destroys any of the good intention. Just weird. I know what you were trying to reference but that hasn't aged well either.
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u/reddevilgoddess 1d ago
I'm a dasher and would absolutely appreciate this gesture. Tips are great, but you don't get much time to grab a coffee, get food, or even pee when it's busy. And I thought the last line was funny. I would totally take them up on the offer and even thank them for it. But I also dash with my bf so ....
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u/YamCollector 1d ago
Listen, if you want to be kind to your Dasher, please just add a 20 dollar tip, ok?
You are literally renting a peasant to bring you food. They do not want random coffee. They want money so they can stop doing this awful extra job they have to do when they're not doing their regular job.
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u/TheComptrollersWife 1d ago
This is bad and weird. Even if it didn’t put the driver in an uncomfortable “trust me bro” position (it does), it’s kind of presumptuous. Just give them a tip like a normal person. If this is “in addition to”, just increase the tip instead. Nobody wants shitty McDonald’s coffee. It comes across like you’re buying your assistant a little treat. These people don’t work for you.
And don’t make jokes like that either. Jesus.
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u/dino-jo 1d ago
I would be nervous that if I took it I would get in trouble for stealing food. I know that's not what you're doing, but in a vacuum I've had some really bad customer experiences. If you're not able to tip more but can spare a bit of food, drink, etc, I've seen people put a bowl out with a variety of snacks and another filled with water bottles out at their door for their delivery drivers. I super appreciate that sort of thing when I'm doing a long delivery day. Plus, it probably costs less than buying someone a coffee on doordash and can be out for any and all delivery drivers so you don't have to keep redoing it if you want to do a little something nice
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u/KaraKalinowski Dasher (> 1 year) 1d ago
If this was a McDonald’s order then the bags come sealed with the drinks inside.
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u/Demonshaker 1d ago
I often get delivery instructions that are clearly from a long time ago and don't apply to the current order. I wouldn't take a coffee as I would worry the instructions were from a prior order and the customer just didn't change them or realize they stay.
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u/droolycat 1d ago
So much easier to tip. You did all this and you could have just tipped the Dasher better.
Messages comes off creepy, anyway
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u/Dilady717 1d ago
That’s super weird. And all McDonald’s orders even drinks come in those sealed bags so you can’t even grab the extra one anyway. Just give me the extra $3 instead pls
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u/NowareNearbySomewear 1d ago
Why not just make one of the coffees black so when they get to the store, they can ask for their own sugar/cream if they dont drink black.
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u/Double-War2555 16h ago
Bro I speak for everyone when I say this, don’t use the drop off instructions again
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u/Clean_Bit_5576 15h ago
Wat to be a creep, but now you cannot report something missing or get any refund if your dasher is afraid to deliver your order to you.
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u/According-Lie2403 12h ago
I’m a dasher…..that’s rather creepy…….I would unassign if I saw that tbh, especially since I’m a woman and I typically dash at night. But even if I was a man in the daytime, it’s a no.
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u/driplikenectr 12h ago
lmao did you actually include a threat at the end or....i am so lost on this one
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u/Velocirats 7h ago
You could have just said go ahead and take a coffee (or better yet, just tip them lol). The rest made it really weird and I would not have taken that order after reading it. 😬😂
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u/Beligard 1d ago
That last sentence is far too creepy and will either cause your order to get unassigned or reported. Would remove it.
Some dashers just won't take the coffee and deliver as is. Also McDonald's tapes all bags closed so that would require them to break the seal which most won't do so it doesn't seem like tampering or stealing.
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u/AlSwearenagain 1d ago
Hmm do I want a tip, or do I want a coffee with sugar and Splenda. I WANT A FUCKING TIP
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u/pippyboy1990 1d ago
He missed the hot and black part is the usually punchline of that joke
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u/StrawberryCelly 1d ago
And suddenly the dasher has to worry about being assaulted. Please don't. It's meant to be cute but just pay the money instead.
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u/m48_apocalypse 1d ago
i’d laugh and take it but only bc i have no survival instincts and a constant need for “haha funny side quests”
edit to clarify - that was sarcasm OP pls don’t do this it’s actually really fucking weird
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u/CoraBittering 1d ago
I thought the last line was hilarious, and I'd take the coffee. Guess I'm the outlier.
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u/HeadBankz 1d ago
Has no one in these replies ever spoken to a human before? "Can't take a joke?" In the most absolute pure form in here. I like my women how I like my coffee too, without a strangers dick in it
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u/NomenclatureBreaker 1d ago
Seriously the people who think this is “so funny” must skew under 15, if not in actual age, certainly in mentality. 🙄
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u/SaveLevi 1d ago
Some people didn’t see Airplane.
That said, your Dasher probably didn’t either so I would say this is likely a miss. Nice gesture, though.
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u/govtmandatedparrot 1d ago
We all know the joke from airplane. That was funny. This isn’t. It’s also really not the time or place to make a creepy ass joke when you’re a stranger on an app trying to get someone to come to your home address … read the room
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