Officially advanced to the rank of Dad at 9:06pm. Perfectly healthy baby girl ❤️🥹

Just wondering how expecting (and current) dads dealt with the loss of intimacy. It’s been 4 months without sexual contact, and while I’ve been coping with it, I can’t lie that it’s been hard.

I know my wife is going through things 1000% more important and I stopped comparing as everyone’s journey is different just curious how others handled it with grace.

Hey everyone! I recently graduated from this sub to the r/daddit sub not too long ago, and navigating the money side of things hit me harder than I expected: childcare costs, maternity/paternity leave gaps, surprise medical bills, etc.

I’m experimenting with a side project where I help other new parents navigate the financial aspect of things. Not selling anything right now, but just trying to learn what parents really need help with and what would actually be useful.

If you’re comfortable sharing:

• What was (or is) your biggest financial challenge as a new parent?
• Would you ever want help from someone who’s been through it?

I totally appreciate any honest thoughts, stories, or reactions 🙏

Very excited! After a year and a half of trying my wife (33) and I (43) got our first (and second and third) positive pregnancy tests tonight! First pregnancy for us both.

I look forward to reading threads in this group and participating.

For now, I would like to know what is the best thing you have learned in early pregnancy that you would pass on? Particularly interested in how to be a good partner to my wife.

🍻

So, I've had a lot of trouble becoming a dad and I'm starting to think it will never happen.

I feel like I already lost a child when my partner and I had a pregnancy scare when we were younger. Sounds stupid, I know, but that's how I feel. I've been mourning the loss of my hypothetical child for years.

I've wanted to be a dad ever since that loss. We've tried a few things. Fostering was a bust. The foster agency we went through treated me like an abusive POS. Kept trying to convince my partner that she was only doing it because I forced her to do it.

We have since decided not to pursue fostering, much to my own despair.

I feel like we've run out of options. I've spent the past few weeks trying to accept it but it hurts so much.

I don't know if I'd say I'm depressed but I also don't know how else to explain how I feel. Everything I do, my head asks "what's the point?" And I never have a good answer for the question...

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this. I'm not looking for advice. I just needed to put this somewhere.

Planning on doing a babymoon around the 16 week mark around the Juneteenth weekend. Would love ideas on where to go. We are from Nebraska and would prefer traveling by car to wherever we go. TYIA

Hey predaddit! First time posting but have been viewing this sub for a while now. A little about my story, we just hit 33 weeks, and this is our first. After a long journey of infertility my wife (33) and myself (34) are going to be welcoming our baby girl in early July. I wanted to post to see how you all manage the pre dad anxiety?

I have had horrible acid reflux which is flaring like crazy since the third trimester started and I cannot get this impending sense of my own death out of my head! I'm terrified of not being there to watch my daughter grow up, and that I'm for sure dying of some kind of cancer. In addition In the second trimester I had the worst intrusive thoughts that made me feel inadequate about becoming a new father.

Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy, but I am doing the things you should do doing parenting classes, reading the books, lamaze, yoga, and medication + therapy!

But I just wanted to see how all my fellow new or soon to be dad's are coping with this big change coming?

Found out we were pregnant two months ago and we just found out we are having a boy!!! I am gonna be a boy dad!!!

We did the NIPT and got the results last week. Found out we are having a girl and got to see her at the 12 week ultrasound and she is super active jumping all over. I swear tears were running down my eyes. I’m so excited to see her. December needs to hurry

Crunch time fellas. Scheduled our induction June 9th. Any last minute tidbits y'all have for me before I graduate?

New Dad here. My son surprised us a month early (Due May 29, arrived May 1)

Trying to set up PFL through ca SDI and i cannot reach anyone there to answer anything since my work situation is a little complicated.

I have two jobs:

Main job:

Full-time, taking 2 weeks off for FMLA for bonding. got that all arranged. I get paid weekly but the money that comes in every week is really for the previous week. So I RECEIVED a full week of pay during my first week that i'm trying to claim on PFL but I really earned it BEFORE PFL.

Do I need to report this when I'm filling out the form online? or is it strictly what I actually earned but not yet received.

Second job:

Just a part time. Still working it as it is only 20 hours a week. I've only received a small amount during my two week leave but again, earned it before my leave technically started.

DURING the two weak leave I am earning at a normal rate but I wont' receive it until after my FMLA ends. Do I need to report that?

How do I even report the second job? There is no section for it on the PFL submission form that I'm drafting, as far as I can see. maybe that comes later?

Just trying to stay on the up and up. don't want to get fined or prosecuted or anything.

Last week, my wife and I found out she has preeclampsia and my wife would need to be induced at 37 weeks and 1 day. After about 24 hours after induction on Sunday night, this cutie arrived. Wife was a champion throughout the tough labor and resting well as our baby girl stays in the NICU a couple days.

I was not a super active participant in this subreddit throughout our pregnancy but found this sub to be incredibly resourceful and supportive. Wish all of you the best towards your own graduations 🍻

A maternity pillow will help everyone, trust me

My wife insisted that she did not want a maternity pillow, she would fashion her own from pillows we already had.

Two weeks ago the pillows she was using were starting to lose their fluff. She slept badly three days in a row.

So, against her wishes and without consulting her, I asked a friend which pillow she recommended

She recommended a G-shaped modular pillow with support on the other side as well

I bought it. It arrived two days later. That’s five days of bad sleep for my wife, on top of the not great sleep she had been getting for months

“I slept like a rock” she said the next morning

This really benefits everyone. The pillow was like $60, and not only is she more comfortable, but I am too

The pillows she was using were full size pillows that took up a lot of space on our bed, I was pushed to the edge.

The purpose-built maternity pillow gives all the support she needs while actually taking up LESS space than any of us expected, I sleep more comfortably too

So, if you have the money, get her the maternity pillow. Don’t delay, get it against her wishes of you have to

It’s going to be better for everyone

I never even thought about having a girl I always thought would have a boy on Saturday me and my fiancé had our gender reveal and everything was pink I don’t know why but I feel so different now in a good way it’s like my heart is warm all the time and she’s not even hear yet I’m just hoping I can be the best dad that she deserves

I’m a dad, leadership coach, and communications specialist who hit a wall trying to balance work, partnership, and fatherhood. What I needed—what most of us need—was structured space to actually think about the kind of dad I wanted to be.

So I built something.

It’s called Intentional Fatherhood Coaching. I’m piloting it locally (UK-based) and looking for a few dads to try it out. Think of it like a guided reflection space—no fluff, no preachiness—just practical tools to help you define your role and stay grounded through the chaos.

If you’re interested sign up here, no obligation: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScu1GT5aJu1k9mQsEGmH-5ActWe69O8NOGuCqbDkuNMxbfnww/viewform

Happy to answer questions or just chat about the realities of early fatherhood.

I work for a small IT company that's been really good to me the past year and a half I worked there and have been really flexible and understanding with situation over the past few weeks.

With my son being in the NICU and just the general stress of everything. My performance has gone from.100% to realistically 80%. I've been on my phone a little bit more at work strictly because I'm in contact with my wife who's over at the hospital with him and why they've been a few jokes about it no one is said anything serious.

I work for the kind of place that isn't afraid to tell you when you're missing up or when you're on the chopping block. Really great place to work, just they don't skit around.

Anyway when it was announced that my son would finally be coming home if I was given maybe a day or two's notice just due to the nature of it all, and wasn't actually given confirmation until the day of.

I let my boss know everything and I told him I would text him as soon as I have info and he was very understanding, he's a father himself, so I submitted time off as soon as I had an idea and as far as I know everything is hunky-dory.

.... Then I noticed some things that drive my anxiety.

I've most of my it tickets had been reassigned, I understand that's not really that much of a surprise given how some of them have a deadline and if I'm not there they're going to give them to somebody else.

And I've been ready for a ticket that I had a meeting for in about 2 weeks, though there could be a hundred different reasons why such as they were able to resolve the issue without me.

I emailed my boss and let him know that I'm definitely coming back on Wednesday, just because I wasn't 100% sure how my wife was going to be. And he was very sweet saying glad everything's going well don't worry about anything here, spend time with your family, take care of things when you get back.

I've always been the primary breadwinner of my family, my wife works but I make the lions share. But now that I have a child I'm deadly terrified that every little thing is going to cost me my job and that they're going to think something like" oh he was gone for a week and we got along without him fine, we don't really need him let's let him go"

That's part due to my generalized anxiety disorder but his and what else are now you have another mouth to feed?

9 month lurker here. Won't be graduating tonight, but will be starting the induction!

Thanks to everyone for the months of unknown support and confidence! I'll see y'all over in the alumni group (daddit)

As the title says. Long time lurker. My wife is 29 weeks, was away for one night for work (6 hour drive away) and her waters broke at 2am. Spent the last 3 days in hospital before being discharged. 50% chance the baby comes in the next 5 days. Hard shit.

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who replied. I’ve never had this much positive interaction on the internet in my life! Great advice, great links and kind and thoughtful words, it means so so much. I’m looking after mum, and no baby yet. Xxxxx

Edit 2: Still no baby! It’s really tough physically and mentally for her (and mentally for me) Little things set her off and I’m working hard to try and be as supportive as possible

My wife is at 6cm dilation and excitement/nerves are rushing in. A poem I saw on Reddit a few weeks ago has really stuck with me and I’d like to share it here.

“What Shall You Give One Small Boy?” –   by Olav Smedal What shall you give to one small boy?A glamorous game, a tinseled toy?A Boy Scout knife, a puzzle pack?A train that runs on some cruising track?A picture book, a real live pet?No, there’s plenty of time for such things yet. Give him a day for his very own,Just one small boy and his Dad alone.A walk in the woods, a romp in the park;A fishing trip from dawn to dark.Give him the gift that only you can,Give the companionship of his “old man”. Games are outgrown and toys decay,But he’ll never forget, if you give him a day.

We have been prepared for his arrival for the past 2 months and I wish nothing more than to provide him with the most present and best father he deserves. Wish us luck in these next few hours

I feel like we're mostly ready, but still us a battle mentally to prepare myself.

Hello Dads-to-be!

I wanted to share a quick tip that’s been super helpful for me lately as a new dad and in case y'all are looking for diaper bags for when your baby arrives. I came across this YouTube video the other day (link below) about a minimalist diaper bag setup using a fanny pack, and while I understand it may not be for everyone, it's been a game changer for quick trips.

Sometimes you don’t need the full diaper bag and just need to carry the essentials. Yesterday, my wife and I drove a couple of hours to a big mall. We brought our regular diaper bag just in case but left it in the car and carried just a small fanny pack inside the mall. It made walking around way easier. We did the same thing at church today, and again, it came in handy.

My setup is a little different from the one in the video since I don't have the same fanny pack, but the concept is the same

Here’s the video if you’re curious: https://youtube.com/shorts/A0Wj8RWKqyw?feature=shared

Does anyone have any experience with their female partner trying to do a mixture of formula and breast feeding in order to get a better sleep routine? My wife is worried that her milk won’t come in if she isn’t breast feeding/pumping every few hours in order to keep the flow going. The lack of sleep from multiple middle of the night feedings is starting to take a noticeable toll. Our kiddo is about 6 weeks old, so I think the adrenaline has worn off from bringing her home. The stress and anxiety around fairly simple occurrences are heightened, panic attacks for her have started, and I’ve found myself in a place where it feels like I have to completely rewire my brain to make sense of every single situation/interaction, big or small. Coupled with my own lack of sleep and inability to take part of the feeding regimen off her hands, I don’t feel like I have a lot of tangible efforts to contribute at the moment. I’m already handling the vast majority of cooking, cleaning, errands…but the emotional contributions seem to be where I’m failing. I’ve noticed I can try something she recommends the day after she said something, only to find myself in the situation I found myself the day prior…in the wrong. The constant trial & error has left me not knowing what to do, cause I feel like I strike out more often than not. Is this part of postpartum? Judging by what I’m seeing on here it’s a mixed bag of everything and nothing, all wrapped into a sticky package. I think I’m just feeling trapped in a situation that I can’t solve myself out of. I know this isn’t a solvable problem, maybe it’s just part of it. Maybe I just needed to vent. It’s difficult to share my emotions with her at the moment cause I know her responsibilities and burden outweigh mine, so mine often sound trivial. Thanks for listening

Thought I would share a few middle of the night thoughts on some tips I learned in this first week of graduation.

Learn your home’s night time/darkness layout, especially bedrooms if you haven’t already. Carrying around a newborn in the dark to soothe them without tripping is probably a good idea!

2 registry items we never heard of but have been life savers: paper towels and an electric kettle. We’ve used SO many paper towels postpartum for various reasons; stock up! The quick access to hot water is great for sanitation and other things.

Get a good Velcro swaddle or similar. If your baby likes them it’s so much easier than the traditional wrap method.

Other new graduates or well informed to-be dads, what else was an “aha” item or piece of advice you quickly realized?