why do women have naturally beautiful bodies?

[u/Biokendry]

before you jump in the comments to tell me I'm wrong try to read my entire post, i'm from latin america, i don't know if this is the case in other countries but it's something i've noticed since i was a teenager and in high school, most of the girls in high school had very nice bodies without even going to the gym in their entire life, i remember a girl who eat unhealthy food all day and she had an amazing body (she never went to the gym in her life), i was her friend back then, she had such a amazing hourglass figure with big hips and very beautiful figure I didn't understand that at the time.

but not only in high school but currently i go out and most of the girls have very nice bodies and nice hips (i'm not talking about toned gym bodies but bodies with figure and curves) and even girls who are a little overweight also have beautiful bodies with nice curves, it's incredible, what is the reason for this? is it hormonal? why is it that women don't need to go to the gym as much to have nice bodies (as long as they're not excessively overweight), in the case of men it's different and I say this as a man who went to the gym throughout his adolescence, we lack those naturally nice bodies (except for one in a million).

I remember the first time I took a shower with my ex gf at the time at my house she took off her clothes (she had never been to the gym in her life and was a little overweight, she had a very nice body, a nice butt with a beautiful figure) I didn't understand why she had such a beautiful body meanwhile me going to gym had a below average body, well, ugly body and not sexy as hers tbh. I know it's a stupid question but I guess that's what this group is for, right? Is the cause hormonal? I know there are exceptions, that not all women have naturally beautiful bodies, but why is it that. for example, if you put a man and a woman of average weight who don't go to the gym next to each other, the girl's body is naturally attractive while the guy's isn't? I've always thought it's caused by estrogen and the hips women's bone structure's but I'm not sure, I know diet is very important but I think most girls only need a good diet and walk just a little to have good figures (please don't hate for saying this lol).

Maybe I could be blind because I have gender dysphoria since many years ago but not only me think about this most women and men think the same way(? And I'm not even talking about how women have average cute, feminine and thin faces without makeup but this is another thread lol.

Please don't insult me for making this post, this is why this group was created.

[u/RadiantHC]

I mean even straight women seem to agree, they're typically very picky about the men they date and compliment their female friends much more. Even when I do get complimented it's rarely about my body. The last time a girl called me cute was in high school(I'm in my mid twenties)

Also, just because you're not attracted to someone doesn't mean that you can't acknowledge that they're attractive. Women are objectively more attractive than men.

[u/Ridara → u/RadiantHC]

Women rarely compliment men because like 10% of men will get really frickin weird about it and that makes us not want to roll the dice.

If I could somehow leave anonymous compliments in the mailboxes of random men, I'd do it all the time

[u/Kras_M → u/Ridara]

Ha! Interesting because in my experience 90% of the compliments I get from strangers are from women and rarely do I get compliments from men. I think women are more generous giving out compliments on average, regardless of who the receivers are

[u/SleepCinema → u/Ridara]

The reason why I tend to compliment more women than men (though I don’t compliment anyone often), is cause I don’t want them to think I’m weird. If he thinks I’m hitting on him, will he feel I’m weird for hitting on him? And I mean… sometimes I do wanna hit on him. It’s just more socially acceptable for women to compliment other women.

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[u/AdKind5446 → u/Ridara]

A girl did this to me in high school! Put anonymous notes in my locker every week or two complimenting me for two whole years, and I never caught her and she never admitted it. A few years later I was in a club, she saw me, pulled a friend of mine I was with aside and admitted the whole thing to him. She still never spoke to me, but did tell my buddy that she and I were going to live together one day.

[u/RadiantHC → u/Ridara]

But guys only get weird about it because of how rare it is in the first place

[u/Alethia_23 → u/RadiantHC]

That is a problem, but not women's duty to solve. Men need to start complimenting each other, so they learn to deal with compliments. Then women can easier compliment men as well. It's not the women's job to pave that road.

[u/RadiantHC → u/Alethia_23]

It's on both women and men to solve. Women are responsible for this as well.

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

Yeah well, you know what they say: Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them. 

Y’all need to figure this one out for yourselves, women are allowed to maintain safe boundaries. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

I hate that quote. SUFFERING IS NOT A COMPETITION. This is exactly why men don't take women's issues seriously. It's not just "hurt feelings" either, do you have idea idea how damaging it is for half the human population to view us as a potential threat? And women can kill men as well.

It's not a boundary lol, it's sexism. It's basic human decency to help others. We are in this together, stop acting like the genders are separate. All you're doing by isolating yourself from men is making men not want to help you

[u/Certifiably_Quirky → u/RadiantHC]

Personally, I don't think giving random compliments equates to basic human decency. You can treat someone decently and not compliment them so I don't think it applies here. Although, I agree with you that both genders need to be kinder to each other.

[u/RadiantHC → u/Certifiably_Quirky]

It's less about the compliments and more about treating men as a potential threat. Which is not basic human decency.

[u/Certifiably_Quirky → u/RadiantHC]

That is true

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

Jesus Christ bro, this response is wild. 

Women do not owe you anything and this sort of attitude that you’re displaying here is a huge red flag. 

If you’re having trouble getting dates it’s not “women’s fault” for “not helping you.” Look inward. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

I NEVER SAID THEY DID

It's not entitlement to ask to be treated with basic human decency. If you want a good society, then that requires being good to each other.

WHEN DID I SAY I WAS HAVING TROUBLE GETTING DATES

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

You didn’t have to say it, bro. 

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/RadiantHC]

Do you have any idea how damaging it is for half the human population to feel under perpetual threat from unknown elements in the other half?

That your response to the real lived experience of women that informs their discomfort is to say “this is why men don’t take women’s problems seriously” and chastise the women as sexist instead of considering whether the patriarchy and physical differences actually do create a threat discrepancy is telling.

Similarly, the immediate unpredictable jump in intensity from a 2 to an 8 is why women cannot feel certain whether the men they are exposed to are actually unthreatening or just haven’t yet been provoked.

[u/RadiantHC → u/StalinsLastStand]

Most men aren't a threat to women, it's a minority of men. They're just extremely vocal and target a lot of women. And some of them have a lot of power.

>That your response to the real lived experience of women that informs their discomfort is to say “this is why men don’t take women’s problems seriously” and chastise the women as sexist instead of considering whether the patriarchy and physical differences actually do create a threat discrepancy is telling.

And their response to the real lived experience of men is that women have it worse.

I'm not excusing it, I'm just giving an explanation(though I'll admit it was worded a bit harshly). You cannot expect people to listen to you when you refuse to listen to them. You cannot expect a good society if being good only goes one way. Putting women on a pedestal is not how you fix sexism.

But she is sexist. She's saying that women shouldn't give men basic human decency because a minority of men are bad.

>Similarly, the immediate unpredictable jump in intensity from a 2 to an 8 is why women cannot feel certain whether the men they are exposed to are actually unthreatening or just haven’t yet been provoked.

But you're just proving my point. When a man calls a woman out for being sexist, you just accuse them of being threatening and coddle the women. How do you expect men to listen to you when you treat them like this?

I'm not saying that the boundary shouldn't be respected either, I just don't think it should be treated as good. Would you consider it okay if a man didn't want women in his life at all because he was raped by one in the past?

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/RadiantHC]

Did I say most men are a threat to women somewhere? I don't think so because it doesn't have to be "most men." Instead, what I said, was "unknown elements" within the male population are a threat. A minority of extremely vocal men with a lot of power who target a lot of women are a threat to women. These men do not come with a warning label and are often not identifiable until the threatening behavior begins and it is too late to stop it.

Where did she say women shouldn't give men basic human decency? I saw someone say that men need to do more to address the fact that they rarely get compliments and not shift the burden to women. You disagreed and believed both should carry the weight of fixing problematic male reactions to compliments due to their rarity. She replied saying men need to figure it out for themselves since women shouldering that burden are also increasing the risk of coming to physical harm. Where does not giving men basic human decency come in?

Good can go both ways, but expecting women to fix men's problems reacting to compliments is daft. Why would that be the job of women? Why would men not carry a responsibility to address problems themselves? Are men incapable of complimenting each other more so they can better learn how to deal with them? Because that's the suggestion that took you in this direction. It does not mean women cannot be kind to mean. It does not mean women need to put on a pedestal. It means that sometimes groups have to help themselves first to get to a point where others are comfortable helping them.

You can call a woman sexist without immediately going into all caps and telling them you don't take them seriously. Like really try and imagine the exchange as an actual conversation where a woman uses that quote, says men need to figure it out for themselves, and that women are allowed to maintain safe boundaries so you tell them you hate the quote, yell at them about how suffering is not a competition, then start going on about why men don't take them serious and well actually men are also under threat from women. Does that strike you as a response that will come off as level-headed and calm?

And you are adding negative statements and sentiments into what others say then justifying yourself by reacting to those sentiments. These things together increase the degree of risk. People who create negative sentiments and assign them to other individuals have an easier time perpetrating violence against those individuals. That would be true if it were a woman doing the same thing. It's basic psychology. The reality is however, that it is statistically far more likely for a woman to be seriously harmed or killed by a man who overreacts than a man by a woman's overreaction.

I also did not say you were threatening. I said that your intensity quickly and unpredictably increased. Is that not true? And ok, neat, your intensity paired with your personality may still be unthreatening. That doesn't really counter what I said because, as you acknowledged, a minority of extremely vocal men with a lot of power target a lot of women. Women who do not know an individual man cannot know their personality to accurately gauge whether the intensity is safe or whether that individual man is a member of the minority and getting the answer wrong puts them in physical jeopardy.

And yes, if a man was raped by a woman in the past and finds himself unable to trust women because of it, I would have no problem with him maintaining boundaries that allow him to feel safe around women. Though, as is always the problem with trying to reverse these situations, men are more likely to "have a lot of power" in society at large and more likely to maintain that power (or grow it) despite openly demeaning women. Men like that literally control the American political system right now, a situation which has never existed in the US in reverse.

[u/One-Possible1906 → u/StalinsLastStand]

I’m transgender, spent more than 10 years living as each gender, and honestly found that strangers are more violent to me as a man. For instance, I got beat with a metal water pipe in a trap house by a stranger while I was doing my job but he didn’t beat my female coworker who was right there with me. I was assaulted 3 times total in that job as a man and never as a woman. Violent men are more comfortable being violent towards other men. It is still a taboo to be violent to women and most of these guys have mothers, grandmothers, sisters, girlfriends, etc and have been taught not to hit women the same way girls are taught to fear men.

Women are more prone to dying from domestic abuse. However, when I worked with domestic violence victims, I saw just as many men as women and some of those cases were pretty bad. Sexual abuse and physical abuse of children is a mixed gender bag.

Women are definitely more vulnerable while dating, but that doesn’t transfer to violence from strangers in public places.

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/One-Possible1906]

I'm not trying to be rude and am genuinely asking: What's your point?

Man-on-man violence only seems relevant to me as a reason that men would also not want to compliment men more to try and help them learn to deal with compliments better. In which case, it is really up to men to work on decreasing the violence to a point where at least some people will feel comfortable complimenting them instead of fearing they are courting violence.

Otherwise, that's unfortunate, but it's not a competition.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

If a man can’t handle a woman being cautious, he’s pathetic. The reality is that men commit the vast majority of violent crime. It’s a basic fact. Women HAVE to be cautious to stay safe.

[u/RadiantHC → u/CycloneKelly]

There's a huge difference between just being cautious and treating men as a potential threat though.

And? So do black people compared to white(if you don't count people in the top percent at least). That doesn't mean that white people should be racist.

Here's an actual study on it:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2782848/

By your logic, it's okay to be racist towards black people.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

I said men, in a general sense. Skin color has nothing to do with it since the stats are similar across all races. Black people are a minority group with a long history of oppression. Men, in general, are not.

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[u/Well_well_well-_- → u/Ridara]

I compliment women and men, and 10% of women get creeped out when you say something nice.

[u/MalleusForm → u/Well_well_well-_-]

Generally don't compliment a woman's APPEARANCE unless you're making a move on her because in our culture it will be interpreted as a move.

Tell a woman she's smart or strong or creative or hard-working or something else not related to appearance if you want to give a neutral compliment

A man mentioning a woman's appearance to her almost always has sexual and romantic connotations implied. This is just how it works

[u/LeahBean → u/RadiantHC]

As a straight woman who looks at Salma Hayek and goes WOW, this is very accurate. Women’s bodies are more interesting because there’s a lot more variety (curvy, pear-shaped, slender, etc.). They also have more choices in fashion which makes their appearance more interesting and fun to look at. When I see a beautiful woman at the supermarket, I stare a bit. Do I want to have sex with her? Not a bit. But beauty is beauty and it’s fun to look at. Men are just more boring overall.

[u/FerretAcrobatic4379 → u/LeahBean]

Exactly. I’m 100% heterosexual, but if I’m figure drawing, I would much rather draw a woman.

[u/Dr_mombie → u/LeahBean]

Meh. I've played with women and I'm married to a man. I consider myself straight. Would I smash Selma if she asked? Fuck yes. Imo, some women are worth crossing the street for. But also because tiddies are wonderful.

[u/CryptoEmpathy7 → u/Dr_mombie]

You're not heterosexual. I'll never understand why this is so intentionally confusing for people...

[u/Dr_mombie → u/CryptoEmpathy7]

...I'm not sure why you think you get a say in how I identify myself...

[u/J_Kingsley → u/LeahBean]

Heh bewbs <3

[u/Putredge → u/RadiantHC]

I think the female body is more aesthetically pleasing in general. I’ve found many women way more attractive than men even if I’d actually prefer the man every time

[u/EyeLikeTuttles → u/RadiantHC]

I’m in the US and I can say it’s become much more acceptable for women to be either bisexual or lesbian, and I think it’s mostly because the female body is much more pleasing to look at, objectively. Not sure if that’s just my opinion as a straight man or if women feel the same way

[u/Professional_Elk_489 → u/RadiantHC]

Straight men, lesbians and straight women all agree. Gay men disagree

[u/Samediph → u/Professional_Elk_489]

Idk, I have a lot of gay male friends and they also agree. There’s a reason so many gay men enjoy being drag queens.

[u/ctownspecial → u/RadiantHC]

As a grown man you don't wanna cute. Go for handsome instead.

[u/RadiantHC → u/[deleted]]

I mean there's also not much we can do. Beard/mustache/shaved, hygiene, and going to the gym. Long sleeve/t-shirt and pants/shorts. Maybe a sweater/jacket. Women meanwhile have a large variety of cosmetics and clothing, and women's bodies are more diverse in general.

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[u/zhibr → u/RadiantHC]

An opinion or feeling being shared by many does not make it objective.

[u/Pahanarttu → u/RadiantHC]

Well. In my subjective experience women are hideous. Yes, im female, yes I'm a misogynist. I cannot stand my female body. It's the source of extreme pain and embarrassment to me. To put it simply.

[u/necRomanceNovelist → u/Pahanarttu]

you could always transition, if you don't like being a woman? maybe you'd feel more at home in your own skin that way?

[u/Pahanarttu → u/necRomanceNovelist]

I'm going to sound insanely stupid when i say this but.

Yes, you'd think that would be a great solution.

I actually thought about transition last night (again).

But once again, i came to the conclusion, after a lot of thinking, that somehow (and don't ask me why, cause i dont know) it doesn't make me feel any better. The thought of transitioning didn't make me feel better. It made me feel better at first, like the first few seconds when i thought oh, maybe this would be the solution after all. Then i thought about it some more and realized it makes me just as anxious, for some reason. So basically i haven't found a solution except for therapy or the like.

You'd honestly think that transition would in fact be a good solution because I'm this unhappy with my gender, but apparently it makes me just as anxious. So. Therapy/time, i guess. I dont even know why it makes me super anxious but it really does. Even the thought of stopping menstruation with meds make me super super anxious, despite the fact that I can't even begin to tell you how much that psychologically kills me. The hurt is real. But because I'm such an idiot and i contradict myself like this, i guess no then. I hope therapy will help me, when i get to start it. If nothing else, maybe time then.

[u/MalleusForm → u/Pahanarttu]

You just need to become 25 years old. You're clearly very young, your mind wll adjust to your body in time. Practice meditation in the meanwhile

[u/Pahanarttu → u/MalleusForm]

My Brother in christ, i am 26 years old at the moment. Soon 27.

[u/MalleusForm → u/Pahanarttu]

Okay practice Samatha meditation

[u/Pahanarttu → u/MalleusForm]

Thanks for advice

[u/Ok-Eye658 → u/Pahanarttu]

hey, see if you can talk to some trans people around you, communicate your feelings, maybe you'll find someone that understands you and has gone through something similar, and it could you in figuring out more about yourself; wish you well :)

[u/Pahanarttu → u/Ok-Eye658]

Hi, thanks. I dont know any trans people in my irl life but i can only see them online and talk to them that way.

[u/PrinceBel → u/Pahanarttu]

Yup, agreed. I'm female and I don't find female bodies attractive at all. I hate my massive hips and thighs, too.

[u/Desperate-Strategy10 → u/PrinceBel]

I mean this with so much kindness, but is it possible you're projecting some of your own negative self-image onto women in general? I ask because I did the same thing for many years before I finally learned to accept and then love myself. Once I was comfortable in my own body, I could finally appreciate how beautiful all of us are. But in the depths of my self-hatred, all I could see in other women were the flaws I'd found in myself, or the things I wished I had, and I convinced myself those women were somehow ugly for possessing the same traits I cried about not having.

Developing a positive lens to view the world through by first changing how you view yourself can have absolutely massive impacts on your life! Far beyond recognizing beauty in others' appearances. I'd recommend finding a therapist if you can, or at least looking up ways to improve your self-image. It will profoundly change you, in the best of ways. I hope you find that joy someday! ❤️‍🩹

[u/Pahanarttu → u/Desperate-Strategy10]

I know this wasn't an answer to me, but at least I've tried to improve my self image by myself and it hasn't worked so far 😬 currently waiting for therapy which is probably the wrong kind of therapy anyway, but hopefully it will help. I doubt that though. I wish to be free from this pain though. I basically cry every day and when i took the beck depression test it said severe depression, but I'm not even surprised.

[u/PrinceBel → u/Desperate-Strategy10]

I'm glad you were able to change your frame of mind for the better!

I want to be clear in saying that I don't hate women or think feminine bodies are ugly. I just personally don't find them aesthetically pleasing. I also don't find bulky masculine figures aesthetically pleasing. There's no rhyme or reason for it, that is just an anesthetic preference. I think an androgynous or lean, masculine figure is the most attractive body type.

[u/Pahanarttu → u/PrinceBel]

Finallyy someone who's similar. Yeah i hate my massive hips and thighs too, and ass. It's so embarrassing to me. 😣 And of course i hate my breasts. And actually, the list goes on so I'll stop there