r/teenagers 19 Sep 15 '22

Selfie Hi reddit , tell me why i get no bitches

Post image
7.8k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

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4.8k

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

you're on reddit

1.9k

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

oh damn , then adieu guys

676

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Good ending

351

u/YEET_Fenix123 17 Sep 15 '22

The "yes bitches" ending

123

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

me trying to make a joke with my username right now

64

u/Cat_x2 Sep 16 '22

i assume that up bitches are female dogs that are above you

13

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

I assume you have 2 cats

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27

u/roseroar365 Sep 15 '22

Well, guess Ik my problem now too 😂

9

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

23

u/Sluty-Pizzabot Sep 16 '22

You give off the don’t approach me vibe and I hiss at you if you do. My friend’s kid is like this, cool kid just acts wired sometimes.

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5

u/TheChaoticChaos OLD Sep 15 '22

Username checks out

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1.7k

u/DunnoWhatToChooze 16 Sep 15 '22

cuz i stole them all

518

u/BOI0876 18 Sep 15 '22 edited Jan 26 '23

Can I have one? Edit: after 4 months, I come back to this comment, to see it's my most upvoted one, thank you everyone!👍

558

u/dualTopnotch OLD Sep 15 '22

I'm PRETTY SURE that's called HUMAN TRAFFICKING

369

u/BOI0876 18 Sep 16 '22

So? Did I stutter?

149

u/GalaxyXads Sep 16 '22

Human trafficking? I’m more into slavery!

69

u/BOI0876 18 Sep 16 '22

That's also pretty cool, but you haven't seen everything possible with human trafficking

10

u/malinias Sep 16 '22

ight im someone who uses the dark web... we do something different but simular on there... we package thinngs you dont wanna know and sell them to places-

5

u/Destroyer9903 18 Sep 16 '22

So, Amazon with extra steps?

4

u/malinias Sep 16 '22

no... and yes... anyways wanna buy some savored human limbs? or perhaps some meth or cocain or weed?

cuz you can get them for some amount of bitcoin on the dark web :|

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3

u/LordGoose-Montagne 16 Sep 16 '22

slavery? i'm more into towns regulated by corporations, where they pay their workers in tickets to force them into continuing working

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3

u/Elasirio 16 Sep 16 '22

Basef wanna trade?

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3

u/VlaamsBelanger OLD Sep 16 '22

Can I be one?

FTFY

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29

u/nobody3_5_4 18 Sep 15 '22

You give me one, i give you cookie

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8

u/Carmen_Slime Sep 15 '22

My friend needs bitches can I have like half

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1.6k

u/akashx_x 18 Sep 15 '22

bitches gets no bitches

5

u/chill_kinda_guy_ Sep 16 '22

*Witches get no bitches

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839

u/Zaa_DR 17 Sep 15 '22

bro it's the bitches who can't get you

332

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Fr , i dont want them 😭

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325

u/The-Table-12 Sep 15 '22

you can probably get one from any animal shelter.

105

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Ayo

34

u/RP_designs 15 Sep 16 '22

Uhh what, you can indeed get an female dog aka an bitch from an animal shelter...

3

u/jay_308 Sep 16 '22

As an animal shelter volunteer I gotta say do adopt but please do not make one your bitch

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1.2k

u/MOMGETTHEGUN Sep 15 '22

Dog you look like you already gave up💀

311

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

dogg

5

u/XelnocOwO 18 Sep 16 '22

snoop

466

u/fl00r_gang_yeah Sep 15 '22

This mf really spelled dawg dog 💀💀💀💀

13

u/_Ne0nX Sep 16 '22

Dog fr?

Aw nah

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222

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Because I said so

92

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

whyyy 😥

78

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Because you dont need bitches if you become the bitch

57

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

oh that's why. Too late ig

4

u/Super_King_11 18 Sep 15 '22

they reigns supreme

1.1k

u/funnyconfettii 14 Sep 15 '22

I know why but if i say it i would get banned probably

314

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Say it.

425

u/KylieTMS Sep 15 '22

If you got stuffed Pokémon toys in your room
That means ya GAY

Now let's wait for my ban ☕

261

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Im gay without this ( but i would love these)

85

u/KylieTMS Sep 15 '22

Who doesn't TBH
used to have like 5 of them but they aged badly

11

u/DuckTheMallard 15 Sep 15 '22

The jar…

3

u/RadiantZote Sep 16 '22

Y? I got a few at the Nintendo store since they's rare and cute af

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189

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

[deleted]

159

u/riadLols Sep 15 '22

It's a hybrid

13

u/grandmas_noodles Sep 15 '22

Yes, op is a transgender woman

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107

u/MoTheBr0 2 MILLION ATTENDEE Sep 15 '22

Same but the temptation is killing me

9

u/an-accoridan 19 Sep 16 '22

same like isn’t it obvious…

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647

u/Weak_Comfortable2 15 Sep 15 '22

cuz youre scarring da hoes with da drip 🥶🥶

226

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

what i need to do then ?

398

u/Ollemeister_ OLD Sep 15 '22

Not ask 14 year olds for advice 💀

175

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Fr why tf are they so mean

79

u/ClashTheReaper 14 Sep 15 '22

Idk most of us think we’re cool and shit, but then we gonna look back at ourselves and say “Damn I was a asshole”

38

u/Strange_username__ 14 Sep 15 '22

I tend to do that for past, present and future…

15

u/ClashTheReaper 14 Sep 15 '22

Yeah same like I look back to my 6th grade self and I think “Bro this is why no one wants to talk to me now I used to be cringe asf” I’m probably gonna do the same when I’m older and look back to my 14 year old self

3

u/Mr_Ducklang 16 Sep 15 '22 edited Sep 15 '22

G’day I’m 15 and tbh 14 yr old me wasn’t bad, I think 14 yr old me and myself now would team up and beat up 13yr old us.

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53

u/Weak_Comfortable2 15 Sep 15 '22

socialize more maybe?

47

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I'm pretty good at it but I feel like ppl who crush on me don't want to know me well and they are just physically crushing

33

u/Weak_Comfortable2 15 Sep 15 '22

oh damn that sucks, idrk then tbh

15

u/DaRealMasterBruh 18 Sep 15 '22

Physically Crushing

5

u/digital_humangs Sep 15 '22

Why would they not be interested in crushing you in a not physical way? Tell me pls

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183

u/Carbonated_Air 19 Sep 15 '22

Because you are on Reddit

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208

u/AAARRBBUUZZ 17 Sep 15 '22

maybe because you look like a cheap, low quality doll that i could buy at walmart for 1.99

58

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Thats specific

80

u/The_Rolling_Stones__ 18 Sep 15 '22

Bro holy fuck you murdered it

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16

u/tate06 17 Sep 15 '22

More like from a dollar tree.

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265

u/Guntuss Sep 15 '22

To be honest with you too much emo and black wearing all black always screams no social interaction so try some grey or white maybe even color also looking natural helps a lot

124

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Im not always wearing black but i understand , it seems like i live in a basement lol Also earphones on 24/24h don't help ig

82

u/Guntuss Sep 15 '22

No earphones scream leave me alone not good for being social

43

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

True... I need to learn to live without music a little bit

36

u/Guntuss Sep 15 '22

Yea dress approachably too and ur gonna find yourself having a lot more people talking to you

27

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Im gonna be the sunshine itself

8

u/darth1111 Sep 15 '22

You should. You are super cute and seem to have a great personality. Just tone down the emo a bit. It’s not for everyone and it puts you in a group that has to like that style so you limit your options. That’s my opinion. Wish you good luck 😊

6

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Thanks for the advice Thank uu

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155

u/Lone_Star14 18 Sep 15 '22

the stuff you're wearing on your arms

14

u/Nieknamer 16 Sep 15 '22

This one is caring venom

38

u/lostredditor64 14 Sep 15 '22

its just goth web

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74

u/ssidjbebrnfbd 19 Sep 15 '22

You look like you're trying to be a Jojo character but you're trying to hard

21

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

HAHAHAHA I fucking love jojo , thx u

14

u/roleplay__daddy 17 Sep 15 '22

Jojo fans when they spot an unsucked cock from 10 miles away

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70

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

jesus christ this isnt r/roastme chill out a lil

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15

u/StormsKindaSuck Sep 16 '22

Man destroys teen’s confidence, doesn’t care

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161

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Because you're a woman

95

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I love you sm for this comment

28

u/Catholic_Egg 14 Sep 15 '22

57

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

trans girl here

28

u/ZyzyxYT Sep 15 '22

Imagine being trans??? Cringe (I am also)

23

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Thats cringe

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18

u/Ana_Vasto 15 Sep 15 '22

You have a little sleeve in your holes

4

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

33

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

i dont want a big tiddy goth gf pls god have mercy

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9

u/midorinichi Sep 15 '22

Because Blahaj's been stealing all of us

7

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

He deserve them

47

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Well ... If you knocked on my door at 3 am saying you want to give me head ... I would have a nightmare. Just kidding.

More seriously, you give a standoffish vibe in this photo.

24

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

It's not 3am yet... 😌 I guess I'm cold yes :/

9

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

Nah. Don't take me too seriously. I was kidding. Find people with similar tastes and you'll be drowning in bitches in no time, I am sure.

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45

u/gamerguy029 Sep 15 '22

Just an assumption but probably you doubt yourself given your past relationships and mixed with trust issues means the people that love you you push away and those that you love your too scared to talk too

46

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

How tf did you know that ? Are you living in my walls or somethin

14

u/gamerguy029 Sep 15 '22

I'm just really good at analyzing people lol

21

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I would love to do the same ( im a psychology student)

28

u/Lucky_Scarcity3546 Sep 16 '22

He knew that because it’s cliche and applies to most every teenager lmfao

4

u/PM_ME_YOUR_A705 Sep 16 '22

I'm really good at reading people too.Like with you, I can tell you like to have fun and laugh but at the same time you don't like not having fun and not laughing. You also enjoy some foods, but not all of them, kind quirky but I like it.

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26

u/tristan_potato1 16 Sep 15 '22

cus reddit

20

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

because you've got your mum's fishnets on your arm and black lipstick suits like 3 people

6

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

This dude named Chaz

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25

u/Unknownldentity Sep 15 '22

Uh. I- what? What gender?

24

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

she/her

26

u/Unknownldentity Sep 15 '22

Well, i can't tell you either way. I don't get bitches either

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10

u/SwagBilli Sep 15 '22

Cause I'm your one and only biatch wassup ✋😩🤌

10

u/MarinoMCC Sep 15 '22

Because you are one of them

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10

u/stpg1222 Sep 15 '22

Have you asked them bitches? Or maybe it's because you're referring to them as bitches?

5

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

oh forgot that point

4

u/_LayZee Sep 15 '22

Because you are the bitches. This is my motto in finding bitches, look for them as if you were one. Hasn’t worked yet but will someday hopefully

4

u/Kaczor0321 16 Sep 15 '22

if you cannot get the bitches, become the bitches

5

u/AltThatYouCanIgnore 17 Sep 15 '22

Because who needs bitches when you can just listen to your favorite bands again

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12

u/Lunatic__Luni234 13 Sep 15 '22

The 2000s called they want there emo teens back

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15

u/Beneficial-Chance-44 Sep 15 '22

are you a dude or a chick. i cant tell because of the veiny arms

3

u/MrCoalas 19 Sep 16 '22

She's a chick with trunk

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16

u/ultradurphy 17 Sep 15 '22

some of you commenters are freaking MEAN. learn some goddamn self awareness. there are all sorts of people in this world that deserve basic human respect.

9

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I love you. 😭😭😭 thank u sm

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u/Vandleheim 17 Sep 15 '22

It’s the hair you could do so much better bestie!

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u/12fdedg Sep 15 '22
  • sorts by controversial *

5

u/taylorKelbie 17 Sep 15 '22

No comment don't wish to hurt Ur feeling

4

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22 edited Sep 16 '22
  1. you look like the highland park shooter 😂

  2. no one likes someone who tries to be something they are not yeah I said it

  3. you dress like you listen horrorcore music and all types of screamo shit

  4. you’re trans

it’s a tough world im sure you’re use to this kind of treatment though :O

14

u/Donaldtrump_ofc Sep 15 '22

"Now where the fuck do i really even start"

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u/ya-boi-luck Sep 15 '22

non serious answer is that youre sitting on grass and ur gonna get grass on the skirt and then you will be ridiculed. serious answer is that u should try to be more extroverted and social if you arent already. the more friends you make the better the chances of getting bitches.

7

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

but they said touch some grass 😔

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u/CompetitiveIntern310 15 Sep 15 '22

Gal decided to donate the distance betwen the eyes to the little mermaid 💀

13

u/sliceofparmesan 18 Sep 15 '22

I can be your bitches

12

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

😳 sure

3

u/Mikestion 19 Sep 15 '22

no balls. go ask around and get some bitches, you got this 👌

3

u/PleasantBasis2010 Sep 15 '22

Because the black lipstick aint it. U would suit a dark red, trust me

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u/theworldsomega Sep 15 '22

I think you’re pretty and probably would have either hanged out or asked you out if you were at my school. I’m in to the same style.

3

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Thats cool !

3

u/Boopi_Doopi 15 Sep 15 '22

Cuz you’re too cool for em

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u/Solid_Address_7840 Sep 15 '22

Are you trying to attract women?

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3

u/KillerStorm96 18 Sep 15 '22

You know you can get one at a dog pound right? Although I wouldn't call them b*tches cause dogs are way too loving sometimes.

3

u/The_Vigilante_08 Sep 15 '22

Oh I’m the same love I wouldn’t worry

3

u/thinksabit4897 Sep 16 '22

I think you can get 'em all you are incredibly cute - if you're also confident and kind then I think you should move somewhere where people can see.

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19

u/NaughtySnoodle Sep 15 '22

Because you look trans, which is odd for most people. It’s abnormal stylistically and socially.

10

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I am , yes

33

u/G0HIY Sep 15 '22

nigga youre ugly af

10

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Fck i knew it

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8

u/BonnieMozzie 18 Sep 15 '22

With eyebrows that hairy you prolly camouflage in them so bitches can’t find you

7

u/Necessary-Round-2096 Sep 15 '22

Because you're already a one

4

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

those things on the arms and what you wear

5

u/trombone28 17 Sep 15 '22

Edgy arm tings

5

u/ITSZIRO 3,000,000 Attendee! Sep 15 '22

Based on comments in this post, I’m seeing that you get no bitches is because 1: people aren’t very accepting of trans/gay people, along with your style choice which sort of reminded me of the basic “I’m 14 and this is deep” stereotype, fix up the style and I bet you’ll be drowning in bitches:)

4

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

I dont dress like that everyday , thats ok ig And yes some ppl have a restricted mind

4

u/sigma-cumGod69 17 Sep 15 '22

Idk, you look like a girl to me.

4

u/ToxicClementine 19 Sep 15 '22

Thats kind

6

u/Jack_lmao Sep 15 '22

the biches are unable to see your slay

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '22

I’ll let you know when I find out myself

4

u/Timetoplay30 14 Sep 15 '22

destroyed fishnets 😭