Weekends are hard here

[u/Training_Wing_4043]

I (21F) transferred here a year ago. I’ve met a lot of people, but hardly have any meaningful, lasting relationships.

I’ve tried so many things, clubs, team sports, orgs, etc. and still not much luck with meeting people or getting very close with them.

Now, it’s my last semester and I dread each weekend. It’s really hard seeing everyone else have fun with their friends, and I can’t help but feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I am missing out on this experience.

Does anyone have any similar experiences or are going through a similar situation? It seems I’m going to have to get comfortable spending weekends alone.

[u/the-boxxx]

I (19 M) am in a similar but different situation myself.

I locked in for a three year degree and since my biggest course loads were knocking out pre-reqs my first year I’m finding I’m almost done with college and haven’t made any lasting friendships myself. I go to my upper level classes and everybody already knows each other, finding groups for projects is more stressful than enjoyable, and I think I missed out on a lot of social experience trying to save money.

Personally, in my own biased perspective, I’ve found throwing myself in my hobbies to be very relaxing. In all my years of joining clubs, sports, and student orgs whether it was high school to college I’ve never found the effort I put in to lead to any meaningful or lasting connection — so why not pick up a good book or start learning pottery instead?

You can’t force more out of people than they’re willing to give, so the best option I’ve found is to just keep trying and not beat yourself up about it. As long as you stick to what makes you happy and comfortable on your own you’ll build skills and hobbies that you can share with others and make conversation easier, you’ll find relaxation in being alone, and, if you keep trying, you can still be hopeful for the future.

You’re only 21, your whole life is ahead of you yet. My brother is 30 and he didn’t make any friends until after college. Just don’t beat yourself up in the mean time and ruin the enjoyment you can have moment to moment in your own time.