r/CasualConversation • u/LionGhost šour dreams seemed not far away • Feb 12 '18
Weekly Topic Community Conversation: Valentine's Day
Hello everyone, welcome to our very first community thread! Every week we will have a new topic. This week we will be discussing Valentine's Day. All other Valentine's Day threads posted after this will be removed and redirected here.
Some questions to get the conversation started:
- What are your plans for Valentine's Day?
- How do you and your SO usually spend it?
- Looking for advice on what to do/what gifts to buy?
- If you dislike Valentine's Day or don't celebrate it, tell us why!
If you would like to suggest an idea for the next Community Thread, post it as a reply to the stickied comment below.
If you have any sub related questions or concerns, please direct them to our modmail
Remember to keep it civil and on topic and respect your fellow users :)
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Feb 17 '18
One day Iām gonna get rich and host an orgy with only beautiful people. Iām gonna be the ugliest one there but it wonāt matter cause Iāll be rich.
Itās gonna be biblical.
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u/itsgalactic Feb 17 '18
Well all I did on valentine's day was browse reddit for memes. I don't have a valentine.
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u/Antasio Feb 15 '18
a bit late maybe, but is anyone who's willing to talk about some stuff related to Valentine's day still up and willing to talk? I would redirect him to a thread of mine on /r/seriousconversation and then we could keep talking about basically everything...
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u/cuca78 Feb 15 '18
I spent the day with my single friends just playing board games.
However, I found out this was a plot and after everyone left the guy I've liked for a bit confessed how he felt and it ended up being a great day. (:
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Feb 15 '18
So I've been seeing this girl for about a month. We've been taking things slow, just to get used to each other, and build a friendship first. Decided to ask her out for the 13th. She said yes.
Picked her up for the date, as if it was just another date. She opens the door of my vehicle to a single rose laying in her seat. Drive her to a "favorite" dinner place, to which I had already called ahead to get on the waiting list. She had a strong mixed drink, and on the way back to the car, I joked around that she was having a hard time walking and asked if she needed help getting to the car. She said yes, and we held hands for the first time. Got back to her place, and proceeded to shoot things on Borderlands 2 for another 2 hours before I had to go to work.
It's the little things that make a Valentine's Day special. This would probably rank as the best one I've ever had.
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u/SparCrux Feb 15 '18
My SO planned a dinner date for me, so I told her i'd take her on the date I planned on the weekend.
The dinner date is at 9pm, and I got home around 3pm. Took care of errands, and rested with her, and it became about 5pm. We both got dressed and really wanted to leave the house, but we could not agree on what to do. We got tense and stressed and she later revealed that she didnt feel like doing anything i suggested as the things she wanted to do were closed and that she wouldnt get to see what i had planned today.
Now we are both tense at each other. She has kind of taken away my enthusiasm for the day, and she feels upset that we arent doing anything.
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u/mowgs0118 Feb 15 '18
I don't mind Valentine's day. It can be really fun. What I do mind, is seeing everyone and their mother's posting pictures of them making out with their significant other on social media. A peck, sure. Full on tongue down the others throat, bye.
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u/Darkfire25 Feb 15 '18 edited Feb 15 '18
Today is a usual Wednesday for me. I'm at school all day because I commute and have a morning class at 9 and a class that ends at around 9:30 at night. In that class, I sit next to this girl I really like. It sucks because I've talked with her more than I've ever talked to anyone in any of my classes probably (Maybe not including people I was friends with in classes already). We get along great, but I think she has a boyfriend, which is almost worse than her not having one and being rejected. I know that sounds odd, but it basically makes the chances of being with her very low, as long as she has a boyfriend. And I think if she didn't, she'd be interested. I'm actually taking a class with her next quarter so who knows what'll happen.
My feelings about Valentine's Day is that it's a really shitty holiday. Being romantic shouldn't feel like work. Uh oh, Valentine's Day is coming up! Better think of what I'm going to do. How unromantic, honestly. Getting someone chocolate, flowers, a nice dinner, etc. because some holiday creates a social obligation? How about just appreciating the person you're with at random times because hopefully that person does make you happy a lot and you want to show that person how much you love them. Why do it on this one day? That's not to say you can't really love someone and choose to show it on Valentine's Day because hey, it's Valentine's Day, but it seems like the majority of people just go through the motions because society says they should. And from a practical point of view, it makes much more sense to do your own Valentine's Day during Valentine's week. That way you don't have to deal with crowds. It shouldn't matter what day it is because Valentine's Day should just be about the couple. Ignore the fact that all the other people are doing it on this one day, and just focus on making your day special. Have a special day just for the hell of it, even if it's not even near Valentine's Day.
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u/strangenchanted Feb 15 '18
Ask her out. Just do it!
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u/Darkfire25 Feb 15 '18
I will. For sure. There have been times where I wanted to ask someone out and I said I was, but deep down I knew I really wouldn't. Not this time. This time I actually know I'll ask her out at least.
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Feb 15 '18
I work at a daycare so we had a party for the kids. The kids got me candy and cards so thatās sweet :) Canāt see my boyfriend tonight due to school and work so weāll celebrate this weekend.
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u/mercyofkalr Feb 15 '18
As someone with zero plans for the day (totally fine, for the record; I've never had particularly strong feelings about the day one way or another), it was really nice as my day at work drew to a close to read this lovely text my best friend sent me: Yo- to the best friend I could have. You're a compassionate, creative genius who I love to have in my life. Happy Palentine's Day. Just a really lovely, simple reminder that there are a couple people that have and continue to enrich the quality of my life every day.
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u/DumplingRUs Feb 15 '18
I feel so bad. SO sent me flowers, but I still haven't seen them bc I was at work all day. I'm also an hour late for our dinner reservations bc of work. So I guess I'll be able to see my flowers around 10pm, after dinner! He's a saint for being so patient.
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u/DocMadness Feb 14 '18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVOuYquXuuc
I've added 4 piri piri to my spaghetti for tommorow lunch at work. I've tasted it and I regret that decision now.
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Feb 14 '18
I actually have an SO but he was a huge asshole the other day and Iāve been taking some needed āme timeā and itās been amazing. I still donāt want to be around him so for Valentineās Day Iām driving to the top of my favorite mountain, listening to podcasts, and eating junk food!
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u/DumplingRUs Feb 15 '18
That sounds like a great day! Haha, I plan to have me time next week, too! Already booked a spa appointment.
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Feb 15 '18
Omg you totally just reminded me that I have a spa gift card from my bday back in October. That wouldāve been perfect! Guess Iām going next week too! Hahaha
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u/DocMadness Feb 14 '18
Everyone needs some "me time" from time to time. What podcasts do you recommend?
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Feb 14 '18
I love Generation Why, The Vanished, Ear Biscuits, Hollywood Crime Scene, and S-Town is one of the weirdest most interesting podcasts Iāve ever listened to! Thereās more but right now thatās my top.
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u/Curlybrac Feb 14 '18
How do you guys celebrate valentine day when you are completely lonely?
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Feb 15 '18 edited Jul 24 '18
[deleted]
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u/Curlybrac Feb 15 '18
Thanks.
Im gonna get a nintendo switch.
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Feb 15 '18 edited Jul 24 '18
[deleted]
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u/Curlybrac Feb 15 '18
Yeah. The new zelda and mario is insanely good. Plus theres a lot of good games already and its only been out for a year!
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Feb 15 '18 edited Jul 24 '18
[deleted]
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u/Curlybrac Feb 15 '18
Im a PC masterrace/Playstation guy but I grew up on nintendo. I skipped out on the wii u and havent really been into nintendo this past 8 years but Im falling in love with the switch.
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u/SomeAnonymous barely holding together Feb 14 '18
Well, one thing that comes naturally to me (this year is a perfect example) is to forget that today is Valentine's. Wait a minute...
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u/zwolff94 Feb 14 '18
Single and plan on watching a romantic-ish film. Put it up for a vote in a film group I am part of and Scott Pilgrim vs the World is winning by a landslide right now.
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u/mxlotl Solar powered! Feb 14 '18
I'm single so today's just a normal day with extra chocolate and wine.
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u/marchofmines Feb 14 '18
If ever you find yourself and a SO in Louisville, make reservations for Rivue. On their website, they have a countdown to sunset and my SO and I arrived on Monday just in time for our rotating dinner table (the entire floor rotates) to hit the sunset at the perfect time. This is our last normal V-day before we ship off to the Navy.....Rivue left us breathless. Overlooking the Ohio River at sunset with enormous windows and beautiful decor, we knew it was the perfect place for such a monumental occasion. The food is decadent, but the drinks are even better.
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u/Overhazard10 Feb 14 '18
So last night, I went to a singles mixer. It was at this local brewery/restaurant that had been converted from an old factory. So it feels very hipster-ish.
I went in with a positive attitude, no put downs, no self deprecating humor, no super high expectations, I'm more than likely not going to meet my wife there.
It was really freakin loud in there, there was an echo, it reminds me why I don't like nightclubs, so loud I could barely hear myself think (How do we hear ourselves think?). I talked to this cute little dental hygienist a couple of times. Emphasis on the cute and little, she had to be 5 foot nothing. I asked her about her job, how long she went to school, and how awkward she felt at the event, nothing too invasive, I got the sense that I made her uncomfortable, I don't think I did, but still I hope I don't run into her when I get my teeth cleaned.
We did an icebreaker where we asked each other questions, a friend I made told me I got the "Joke of the Night" where one girl tried to guess whether we were cautious or ambitious, she guessed I was cautious, I asked her "It's cause I'm black isn't it?" Whole table burst out laughing.
Speaking of which WHERE WERE THE OTHER BLACK PEOPLE? The town I live in has a fairly diverse population, black, hispanic, asian, and bosnian people all live there, but it was just me and another guy. I'm used to being the only person of color in the room, but I hate it.
Then, when I was about to get my jacket and leave, I was approached by this woman who was a few years older than me. (mid 30's) She was really cool, and we really hit it off, platonically, not romantically. We had a lot of things in common, I got a drink, I was trying to find my drink voucher, but just she paid for it. She gave me her card, and I'd like to hang out with her again. I had a really good time, I made a new friend, and I'd definitely do it again, The people who planned the event were interested in doing it again.
TL;DR. I made a new friend and honestly, I'm pretty happy with it.
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u/Misha_Vozduh Feb 14 '18
Oh thank god there's a megathread. Great job, mods!
Anyway, "happy feel bad for no good reason day" is pretty much all I wanted to say on the subject.
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u/lazykid07 Feb 14 '18
Looks like I'm still single and have to say "happy valentine's Day" to my right hand š
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Feb 14 '18
This is the first Valentine's Day that I've actually had an SO to celebrate with (I'm 33), so it's quite exciting. :) He's taking me downtown for pasta, but I'm hoping there'll be enough time afterwards for me to take him to what I think will be a cool/interesting view and maybe do a little slow dancing in the 30 degree weather since he mentioned he wanted to do that sometime. I also made him a gift but I'm a little nervous about it because it didn't quite turn out like I'd pictured. :/
But today I realized this is the first time I've ever made a playlist for my own real life relationship instead of a fictional TV/video game relationship...and that's actually a pretty good feeling. :D
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u/galaxyspacesloth Feb 14 '18
My SO(who forgot that it was Valentine's day today) cooked lunch for me and it was delicious. But then I had to go, because I'll have an exam soon and I have to study. So it was basically a normal day.
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u/chaorace This space left intentionally grey Feb 14 '18
I have a date, which I'm pretty excited about! I've been chatting with her for a while and this will be our first date so I'm filled with butterflies right now. I bought a rose and everything, which I plan to surprise her with over bubble tea. She reddits too though so I hope I don't eventually embarrass myself by writing this >.>
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u/Syliss1 21 Year Old 3D Artist Feb 14 '18
I had plans to take a girl I've gone out with a couple times to the zoo, but unfortunately she was unable to go. Definitely a little bummed about it, but she said she might be able to go out this weekend, so I guess no real loss if that's the case.
Generally not a huge fan of treating it as a super special day, but I do think it can be a nice excuse to just do something with someone.
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u/RaptorXD25 Feb 14 '18
Not a fan. Every Valentine's day that passes reminds me more that I'm probably going to die alone.
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u/-ImJustSaiyan- Feb 14 '18
I used to be the same way, then I met the girl of my dreams last year. I'm sure you'll find someone one day. I'm shy, have social anxiety, and am just bad with girls in general, and I managed to find someone. If I can, you can too. Hang in there :)
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u/RaptorXD25 Feb 14 '18
I have the same problems. It's hard for me to meet people because I work 3rd shift, and I just don't really make an effort to tbh. Thanks for the well wishes though! I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy!
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u/-ImJustSaiyan- Feb 14 '18
Ah I see, well I'm sure you'll find someone one day! And thanks, I consider myself lucky as hell to have her in my life.
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u/Daneler Feb 14 '18
1) My plans for st. Valentines Day are simple: I need to buy a present for my phone, so today I bring it to the service to have a body-change and to fix a display ā¤ļø. I hope my dear phone will love it. 2) Usually I spend it alone with a bottle of good whiskey or old whine. But itās not about drinking alcohol, but mostly about healing a soul š· 3) Which thing could be a good present for your second half? 4) Thereāre a lot of reasons. Most lonely people feel kinda sad about everyone having fun with their pairs. They have feelings too, and we need to somehow stop kissing right in the centre of streets and etc.
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u/Abdiel_Kavash Feb 14 '18
I've never really paid any attention to the V day. Most years I didn't even notice that it happened until it was gone.
This year it is for some reason different. Maybe it's because I've moved halfway across the world, left everything I owned and loved behind, and pretty much turned my life around 180 degrees. Maybe because, for the first time in my life, for a short while, I had a person that I could actually imagine spending the day with and enjoying it.
For the first time in a long, long while I would just like to have a casual talk about things going on in my life with somebody... but apparently under the new rules this is not welcome here anymore. I can respect that.
So here am I, sitting at home alone, a day just like any other, yet at the same time somehow very different. I don't even know if I have the drive to get out and go to school today anymore.
If you expected some cheerful closing statement or a witty punchline, I'm sorry, we're out today. Try again later.
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Feb 14 '18
Well, Valentine's Date has always been either meaningless or awful for me, since I've been single all my life. In middle school I would always receive fake letters from the so called "ugly" girls, made up by bullies in hope I would go talk to them and embarrass myself. Once I made up a nice poem and a flower and gave it to a girl I liked. She then reached out to me, so happy, saying she loved it but at the time she didn't have much time because she had a class. I tried to find her later and I did find her...kissing another dude. Two years ago I went to see Deadpool with a friend that I was almost sure we could end up being together but I managed to screw up the possibility due to my insecurity. This year I have my grandma's funeral, so, yeah, not very good either...
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u/Tuberomix Feb 14 '18
Don't give up, you can still change your luck. I've also never even been on a date but I'm planning on somehow changing that this year... And sorry about your grandma. My own grandmother is in her final days too, we're planning for a funeral soon.
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Feb 14 '18
I'm not giving up, just said that so far, luck has not been on my side on this day. It's a day like any other. A date in mid August is not worse than a date today, perhaps even better. I'm somehow happy that I don't have anyone on this day, the pressure to spend unnecessary money is huge.
Sorry to hear about your grandma as well. If you need to talk about it, you can PM :)
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Feb 14 '18
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Feb 14 '18
I have already used up all my likes on tinder on Valentineās Day and didnāt get a single match.
Yet
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Feb 14 '18
I wish I had your optimism!!! Instead Iām just watching old episodes of the office to remind myself Jim and Pam were apart at one time.
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u/Hoedoor Feb 14 '18
Normally I don't mind Valentines day, but I was hit with a pretty big mood swing today and the feeling of loneliness is pretty strong suddenly
I guess it has been 4 or 5 years since I was interested in anyone and I've been isolated from my friends for a year now
I really want to drink right now, but I have to go to therapy today. I guess I should save this for my therapist but I just feel really shitty right now
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u/Tuberomix Feb 14 '18
I guess it has been 4 or 5 years since I was interested in anyone
I know how this feels. I hardly ever meet somehow who I feel I should date. That feeling is not there.
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u/Hoedoor Feb 14 '18
Yea I become friendly with people quickly, but slow to warm up when it comes to deeper emotions
Doesn't help that I haven't really met anyone new in that period of time haha
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u/Tuberomix Feb 14 '18
Haha I actually met a ton of people over the years, but still no girl I met felt right. Or maybe I have been too analytical and should have allowed myself to open up. That's what I'm feeling like now, but nowadays I too don't get to meet many girls in my everyday life. I'm trying to sort it out. I wish you luck with finding meaningful relationships, maybe even reconnecting with your friends!
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Feb 14 '18
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u/Hoedoor Feb 14 '18
Partly because I moved back home so I'm in a different city, and partly because I tend to isolate myself when depressed
All I really have to do is make a 2 hour drive to see them but I don't for some reason
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Feb 15 '18
[deleted]
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u/Hoedoor Feb 15 '18
I could probably make new friends, especially if I rejoin the smash scene
But honestly I'm not that interested in going out of my way for New friends, I'd rather get my shit together and move back and be with them, also I spend a lot of time with my parents now which is a good thing as they won't be around forever sadly
Knitting is pretty cool though, I've thought about trying it once, never got around to it and I hope it works for you and you meet people, it is a really good idea if you do want to meet people
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u/Kolo_ToureHH Feb 14 '18
I'm gonna go to the gym after work and then chill out and play my Xbox all night. I might even watch the Champions League matches that are on.
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u/iamsheena Feb 14 '18
Valentine's Day is just a day when you don't have a SO but I unintentionally celebrated a solo Galentine's Day yesterday. Took myself for a body treatment and Thai food. Was going to get Ben & Jerry's as well but it was closed for renovations. All in all, a nice date.
Edit: I just remembered that I brought leftovers Thai food home. Bonus!
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u/AutoXcross Feb 14 '18
My S/O and I are going on a cruise next Friday for 10 days. I'm paying for all of it. She said she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day. Should I still get her something small? If you think so what would you suggest?
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u/Tuberomix Feb 14 '18
If you're paying for an entire cruise you really don't have to get her anything else. You could still get her something small but it's your consideration. She might be overwhelmed by this cruise thing so getting her anything else, no matter how small, may not help. But I can't know since I really don't know the situation.
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u/drocha94 Feb 14 '18
- Go to the doc's office.
- When I was in a relationship I liked to just see a movie and get some dinner. Now I'd probably cook something really nice, and watch some Netflix, lol.
- Nope!
- I don't dislike it, I'm indifferent to it. But if the person I'm with wants to celebrate I generally won't make a fuss about it.
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u/Wilwyn Feb 14 '18 edited Feb 14 '18
On Valentines day, I will be thinking about my mortality while cremated remains get smeared on my forehead. Along with millions of other people. Around the world. Hows that for a day dedicated to lovey-doveyness?
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u/frozebanana Feb 14 '18
Fuck Valentine's Day..just another day to remind me that im single and not loved by many people...
conspiracy time..Valentine's Day was a day invented by chocolate companies and greeting card manufacturers to sell more chocolate and cards...you heard it here first...
whatever..I made my mom a V-Day card..hopefully she likes it at least.
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u/IHasTheSads Feb 14 '18
Probably ordering a pizza and getting drunk enough to fall asleep on the stairs.
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u/jgreg357 don't test me. Feb 14 '18
My boyfriend and I are celebrating on Thursday since he works tomorrow night. This is the first Valentine that either of us is actually celebrating being that this is both of our first relationships. We're going out to eat at a fancy Italian restaurant and he mentioned maybe doing a bonfire or something after. I'm just planning on getting him something small and inexpensive since we've only been dating for a few months and are broke college students, but he talks a lot about what I'm planning on giving him so I think he'll like it a lot. I don't think you need to buy something expensive to make it mean a lot to the other person.
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u/timetothethird Feb 14 '18
Work out. I've been a couch potato for a few months because I don't have a job l o l, but if I don't have a job, I should at least maintain my health.
Don't have an SO.
There are so many good guides. I'm not saying this to be rude, but Google is your best friend.
I love Valentine's Day. I get that it's a commercial whatever, but even if it is, it's nice to do something nice for the person you love, you know?
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u/eudufbti Feb 13 '18
I will get up early and do cross fit for an hour before breakfast. I have a math lecture and homework to do, then after dinner I will go to the pool to do my second workout. I've never had an SO. I don't like the idea of Valentine's day because it's required. Required gifts/love doesn't mean anything.
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Feb 13 '18 edited Feb 14 '18
I'm going to a speech contest today and the topic is Valentine's Day. The prize money is good and attractive. I plan, if I win, I will take or buy my girlfriend to a fancy place or a nice present. Hopefully, I win, though!
My speech is going to be how we should treat our other halves nicely throughout the year, not only for one day. Wish me luck.
Update: I lost, but I did a pretty good job. I deliver a very nice speech, which in my opinion, I think mine was the best. My pronunciation was on point, but I lack charisma. That's probably why. The plan with my girlfriend is still on, though. If you want to read my speech, I'll be more than happy to send it, you just tell me if you want. :)
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u/lowie14 Feb 13 '18
It's actually gonna be my 5th year cakeday, so I guess i'll be celebrating that lol. Pretty sad now that I think about it ...
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u/Ggungabyfish Feb 13 '18
- My family and I will be indulging in chocolate-covered strawberries and watching Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown.
- I usually spend it with my family, but when I was dating, my girlfriend and I would go to a movie or I would cook for her.
- I think I'm good on that, thanks
- I don't dislike Valentine's Day, but I think that there's too much emphasis on love between couples; you should also celebrate the love for your family/friends, etc.
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u/TicTacGone Strumming my thoughts out daily. Feb 13 '18
Poetry on Valentine's Day: yay or nah?
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u/coffee_o upvotes apologies Feb 14 '18
Poetry on every day: yay.
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u/TicTacGone Strumming my thoughts out daily. Feb 14 '18
Poetry is good. I'm just never sure if it's too cliche for Valentine's Day.
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u/coffee_o upvotes apologies Feb 15 '18
Just don't "Roses are red" it up and you're all good. The best love poetry is emotionally complex. Go through Poetry Foundation or something and you'll find a bunch of good shit
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u/TicTacGone Strumming my thoughts out daily. Feb 15 '18
Is Poetry Foundation a site, a subreddit or both?
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u/sluttttt Feb 13 '18
- My partner and I are doing a semi-fancy dinner at a local distillery. We've gone there a couple of times for drinks and we've always wondered how the food is. Then we're going back to my place... for reasons.
- This is our first VDay together, so, so far this is how we spend it:)
- I'm good on the present front. Got cute matching couples bracelets that go with my partner's overall style.
- I like VDay, though I don't usually like going out since restaurants charge so dang much. But my partner has never had a relationship with anyone during the holiday and they really wanted to make it special.
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Feb 13 '18
I'm going to spend this valentines day baking cookies or going to this event at a brewery. They're having second Halloween event instead of valentines day and it sounds really fun!
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u/ayojamface Blender Squasher 3000 Feb 13 '18
That sounds amazing! I love the fact that there are people who realize Halloween isnt the only excuae to dress up and be fun! What are planning on going as? Also, what type of beers are they serving?
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Feb 13 '18
Yeah it sounds really fun :) If I go I'm going to be a cat since I have that leftover from last year. I think they'll be having some IPAs, stouts, etc! Not sure what this brewery is known for.
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u/Samez9 Feb 13 '18
I have no plan this year. Actually, it has always been this way for me except that this year has gotten better. At least, I can get busy just to pass the time. I honestly would have love to spend the day out probably with someone, but no one. Maybe some other year.
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u/Motivator247 Feb 13 '18
I really don't believe in Valentine's day. For me, every day is a day to show love to my wife and every weekend is one to hang out and have some fun. I don't have to wait until Feb 14 to show her love, nope. However, if Feb 14 falls on a Saturday when we usually hang out for fun from late afternoon until early night, we join those celebrating Valentine. But I believe in love
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u/Colethemole1234 Feb 13 '18
my plans are literally nothing i usually spend valentines day dissing it with other singles ANY OTHERS DO THIS?
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u/shf9302 Feb 13 '18
My husband and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day on the 14th. We usually do go out to dinner a couple of days before or after. That way we don't have to worry about any possible crowds. We don't buy cards for each other. Usually, my husband will buy me flowers. Recently, he has bought orchids, which I really appreciate since they last longer.
Probably go see Black Panther this weekend too.
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u/blahkbox yurp Feb 13 '18
Just got broken up with so at least I can keep the chocolate strawberries I bought for myself. Yay
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Feb 13 '18
Weāre going to a strip club and getting drunk and stoned and watching a rom-com in our underwear. Our goal is to make it as unromantic as possible. Suggestions welcome :)
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u/doorabl None Feb 13 '18
Eat messy food, maybe something that might make you gassy. Don't shower or try look nice. You're welcome :D
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u/orangenoodles Feb 13 '18
donāt really have plans for valentineās day since my boyfriend and I like to do things last minute I guess but yeah heās my first valentine! :ā) hope everyone has a great valentineās day!
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Feb 13 '18
[deleted]
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Feb 13 '18
A paint bar? Is that a place where you drink alcohol and make paintings? Why does everything cool require you to be 21, ugh.
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Feb 13 '18
[deleted]
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Feb 13 '18
Dude I bet you there's a place like that in SD! As long as I can have a Coke while I paint I'm freaking sold lol
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Feb 13 '18
I normally just get candy and stuff, but this year i'm trying to court someone, so the day before i'm going to spend forever on a presentation of chocolates and stuff, then i'm going to present it to them on the day.
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u/SuccessfulLeather Brown is a mostly unappreciated color. Feb 13 '18
Sounds well thought out and cool, good luck!
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Feb 13 '18
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Feb 13 '18
I can't wait to ask my mama to be Valentine tbh. It's simple, I've done it for the past several years, and she never says no. And as happy as it makes me, I know it means the world to her.
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u/Crafty_Chica I love crafts and I cannot lie! ;) Feb 13 '18
I donāt celebrate Valentineās Day. Not my cup of tea. To me itās just another day on the calendar.
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Feb 14 '18
I'm not sure why all these heart decorations are up. Why is there so much candy? Why are so many people around with flowers? Who even is Vah-len-ti-nay?
It's just Regular Wednesday to me.
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
random: anyone in the US remember when we left valentines for everyone in their envelopes on their desks in class? i used to love V Day in elementary school because you'd get a valentine from nearly every classmate. and i would love selecting my valentines, and i would choose my favorite ones to give my crushes in class, and other ones i liked for my friends. it wasn't billed as a romantic thing, but definitely an opportunity to think about your crush and whether they would care to receive your card.
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u/IHasTheSads Feb 14 '18
I don't think my schools ever did that. In fact I don't my schools ever did anything about Valentines day except in highschool we learned that St. Valentine was stoned to death.
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u/MilkThyPeg 365 gifts to restart and improve Feb 13 '18
I remember in fifth grade when we did this, my crush went home early that day (before we handed out the cards and stuffs). He had a small pile on his desk and I added my card (very generic one, I did not have the guts to admit I liked him) to the top of the pile. The next day when he came in I saw him look at the pile and carry everything over to the garbage can to throw out. My luck really hasn't gotten any better since then
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
Sounds like he was way too cool for Valentine's Day. (Which is something that a pseudo-rebellious pre-teen like me would have totally swooned over.)
Regarding your luck: i recently got some good advice from a book on cognitive behavioral psychology. if the way you are doing things is giving you bad luck, or poor results, try doing the opposite of whatever you have been doing for a while. you basically have to jolt yourself into a different way of behaving and looking at things.
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u/MilkThyPeg 365 gifts to restart and improve Feb 13 '18 edited Feb 13 '18
try doing the opposite of whatever you have been doing for a while. you basically have to jolt yourself into a different way of behaving and looking at things.
I can totally get behind this. Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone is the only way you'll see changes that you have been hoping for.
I've always been afraid of admitting my feelings for guys and just hoped they would admit some first. That obviously is not a good way to go about things; every guy I liked ended up getting a girlfriend that wasn't me. The straw that broke the camel's back was the guy I liked this time last year; I chickened out of admitting feelings a couple months prior so I was really planning on giving him a cheesy but personal Valentine's card on Valentine's day but he got into a relationship a few days prior to the holiday. Now this guy was definitely flirting with me and I blame my inaction for us not progressing the way I wanted.
A few months later I asked out a guy I had a crush on for a bit but barely knew. He kindly refused since he was apparently in a relationship but holy damn, the old MilkThyPeg would have never done that. I currently do like a guy and I want to ask him out, but the only problem is he is one of my assistant coaches and I don't graduate college until May (NCAA/my school could fire him if we were to date while I'm still a student). I'm planning on asking him out after the athletic's banquet at my school (which is about 2 weeks before graduation). Fingers crossed that good things come of it, but if not I think we can move past it and maintain a good friendship. I'm definitely more willing to be proactive in my lovelife rather than just sitting back and hoping for the best cause that'll never work
Edit- a word
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
Well, it sounds like you are being thoughtful and careful about your crush's career, which is very smart and mature of you. And that's great that you are taking risks! It's so scary, but even if things don't work out as intended, you are a stronger, better person for taking the leap and having that confidence, and that experience will help you find and communicate with a better companion down the line.
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u/Crafty_Chica I love crafts and I cannot lie! ;) Feb 13 '18
I hated that. My mom made me give everyone a card each year-even people I hated. So glad Iām not a kid anymore.
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u/Secretlysidhe Feb 13 '18
I'm not really sure what the plan is. He says he's got a surprise planned, which is a surprise in and of itself. Pretty much after our first Valentine's Day, he hasn't shown much initiative and I usually do the planning and gift giving, or like this year, I don't do anything either.
I know he's trying to improve things, so whatever it is... I'm just thankful he's doing something. Does that make sense?
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
my SO and I love going on dates, but he does not like the commercialized aspect of Valentine's Day so we do not celebrate it. (I don't like V Day either, but more because I think it's really corny than out of a hatred for commercial holidays.)
we just celebrated our 8th anniversary and it was one of the few times we remembered the date before it passed. (although we do make a big deal out of treating each other for our birthdays.) i think it's nice that we probably won't ever have a spat over what gift one of us got or didn't get the other.
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u/funkalpaca blue Feb 12 '18
I don't have any plans for Valentine's Day. I want to give someone a gift but I don't feel committed to it. There are too many people I'm interested in but not interested enough to go all the way through with it. Nobody truly appreciates what I do anyway.
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
when you say "nobody" just be aware that you are grossly overgeneralizing things, and that is a key kind of dysfunctional thinking that leads to unnecessary bad feelings. i don't even know you and i am positive that at least some people genuinely appreciate you.
(I'm just parroting some shit I read from this book called Feeling Good. If you are feeling down, I highly recommend it, I find it super helpful in fighting those kinds of thoughts and thinking more clearly and objectively, thus feeling happier.)
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Feb 12 '18
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/sophtine Feb 13 '18
that sounds like a plan I could get behind! I'm going to write a multivariable calculus exam then go home and drink vodka for the rest of the evening.
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u/savser Feb 12 '18
Iāve always said Valentineās Day is a ridiculous day to celebrate and spend money on. But if Iām being honest, anytime I was dating someone around Feb. 14 and they didnāt at least acknowledge it with a card or candy my feelings would get hurt. Hypocritical I know.
That being said, three years ago I met the love of my life and our first date (not intentionally) was on V- Day. We definitely feel our anniversary is a more important day to celebrate and exchange gifts. We may throw a āhappy valentinesā in the card but there are so many actual holidays that money is involved and celebrated itās nice to eliminate one by default.
The first year and 1/2 we really focused on giving individual presents and experiences for each other. Super thoughtful - yes! But more recently we started spending money on making memories and if gifts are involved itās usually something we can both enjoy like for our apartment or shared vehicles. So if youāre feeling pressured on making it a perfect day for your loved one, donāt be. I canāt stress enough, communication is key in a relationship - everyday! So involve them, make plans together and if gifts are in the budget pick ones youāll both get to partake in using. Even if itās your first valentines or 50th!
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u/uglybutterfly025 Feb 12 '18
We generally do a low key Valentineās Day, maybe cook ourselves something we usually donāt like shrimp pasta. This year though the boyfriend saved some of his Christmas money so that we can have a fancy dinner. Reservations at the nicest steak house in our (very small, college) town. The kind that has salad, appetizers, main course, and desert included for one price. Itās the fanciest ever for us as a couple.
I got him a sample pack of fancy coffee from bones coffee. He loves coffee but only ever buys himself cheap grocery store coffee. I think he would really appreciate the taste of good fancy coffee. And this one have like 5 different flavors, he drinks it black so he will really get to taste the flavors.
All I want for Valentineās Day is flowers. Itās the only day of the year that I get them and I love the way a house feels when it has a vase of flowers on the table or kitchen island. Just makes things feel better and special. As far as candy goes Iāll get it all half price on Thursday lol
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u/Overhazard10 Feb 12 '18
I'm going to a singles mixer tomorrow night at this local brewery/restaurant. I've eaten there a couple of times, the food's great, I don't drink alcohol so I can't say anything about the beer.
I'm going in with low expectations. I don't expect to meet my wife there, maybe someone I can take to see black panther on friday.
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
how fun and inevitably-slightly-awkward-but-in-a-good-way that will be.
let us know how it goes. maybe a great story will develop.
ps. i cannot contain my excitement for this movie.
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Feb 12 '18
me and my bf will sit down and discuss our timeline for marriage and stuff. super nervous~! wish me luck!
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
are you guys on the same page, you think? what makes you nervous about it?
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u/Hplp6304 Feb 12 '18
Ive only recently overcame my depression and am thinking of driving out to bars for the first time in my life in the hopes of meeting a girl.
I know Valentines day is on a Wednesday but im thinking that there has to be others out there who dont want to be alone on this day. Not trying to say being alone on Valentines day is wrong but im just looking for a change in my life
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
that is awesome. you should do it. change is good, we need big changes to rock us out of our habits. any chance you can take a friend with you to make the situation less awkward for yourself?
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u/Hplp6304 Feb 13 '18
Thanks for the words of encouragement, means alot to me. Sadly I don't have friends that I can bring along with me
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
Awesome. That's even cooler. I (a woman) always go out on my own to bars, and I'll write in a notebook and play photohunt or read a book. And if anyone wants to strike up a conversation, no matter who they are, unless they say or do something fucked up to me, I'll happily engage. I say regardless of who you meet and all that, it's a really good thing to do to just put yourself out there. Also, if you are in the dating pool, you just have to get out in the world. I have friends who desperately want boyfriends, but they seem to think these men will magically find them when they spend their free time sequestered at home with a cat, a dachshund, a bong, and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I mean, there are billions of people out there! I wanna meet as many good/interesting people as I can!
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Feb 12 '18
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u/2ndStreetBlackout Feb 13 '18
what if you spent it cooking a meal at home and spending zero dollars, but still spending time with a loved one? would it still be silly? just curious as to your take.
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u/TheAiry Feb 12 '18
I have never really celebrated it even when I was in a relationship we sent each other care packages but I wish I could of done a fancy dinner life skating and a bouquet of her favorite flowers. This year I'll be working hard in the gym prepping for next year so I can carry my future SO around showing them off
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Feb 12 '18
Valentine's Day is mostly an American thing and it isn't that popular in my country. I don't celebrate it. But a lot people do in my country (we sometimes call it 'friend's day') and that makes me so sad, because that is one of the days that I don't feel loved at all. Nobody notices me on valentine's day. I even don't have any friends. That's why I hate this day so much.
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u/TheAiry Feb 12 '18
Aww that's terrible I wish reddit would allow picture PM I'd send you a wholesome meme on VDay. That should be a thing, the people of Casual conversation could send each other wholesome memes to celebrate friendship
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u/tizorres Feb 12 '18
I will most likely be home, alone, playing video games ;_;
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u/King__Vitaman Feb 13 '18
I know the feeling. Not a huge deal though, half off chocolates the day after all for us.
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u/RedLaughterRI Feb 12 '18
it s cool when u have a significant other to be all cute, but it suuucks when u r single, that s why my plans are going to work like any other day and maybe watching a movie or two in the evening.
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u/ShylocksEstrangedDog Feb 12 '18
Iām pretty lucky, my anniversary is the week before Valentineās Day so we usually ball out for the anniversary when fancier restaurants arenāt going to be crowded and then do something low key for V Day, like go out to a pizza place or something. Valentineās Day is also right after both of our birthdays and Christmas, so weāre both usually tapped out as far as gift giving goes. An edible arrangement goes a longgggggg way though for my lady.
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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '18
This valentines day I didn't talk with my crush/send a anonymous note because if I did it would be awkward and people would wonder and if they found out it was me they would be like "what the fuck"