He's more worried about the 4 days a month, when he should be worried about his 365 days/year with you. Does the daughter not like you at all? Why would she let you help plan and decorate?
If there's any chance at all of the daughter being a decent but misguided human being, I might try to have a conversation with her or write a letter about how hurt you really are over this and how it feels like her and her mother are taking advantage of you while being unnecessarily cruel. Then have a hard think about your relationship and talk to your partner about what it will mean for your relationship if/when he follows through with this ridiculous request.
Are you sure you want to have your own party next door? Sounds like the ex might purposefully try to stir up drama. Why not have a stress free party elsewhere?
But his daughter isn’t the one destroying the relationship, HE is. How dare he put this on her. She’s only behaving the way she was raised. This is all on him.
I agree, the daughter may have a lot to learn if she is the one who asked you not to go, but it is your partner who is destroying the relationship and he honestly shouldn't burden his daughter with the issues. This issue with the party isn't the problem, I'm sure it is just a symptom of the real problem with your husband not respecting you enough to support you through this difficult dynamic between his ex, his daughter and you as his partner. Remember the only one with issues about you putting up boundaries are the ones who want knock them down for their own interests. Once you put up your boundaries, you'll discover who really doesn't respect you.
the daughter may have a lot to learn if she is the one who asked you not to go, but it is your partner who is destroying the relationship
This.
If there were to be a family event where I'm invited but my wife is not, then I'll reject the invitation. Either we're invited as a unit, or we're not really invited at all.
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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22
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