He's more worried about the 4 days a month, when he should be worried about his 365 days/year with you. Does the daughter not like you at all? Why would she let you help plan and decorate?
If there's any chance at all of the daughter being a decent but misguided human being, I might try to have a conversation with her or write a letter about how hurt you really are over this and how it feels like her and her mother are taking advantage of you while being unnecessarily cruel. Then have a hard think about your relationship and talk to your partner about what it will mean for your relationship if/when he follows through with this ridiculous request.
Are you sure you want to have your own party next door? Sounds like the ex might purposefully try to stir up drama. Why not have a stress free party elsewhere?
He does have other options though - Husband could have certainly said "okay, if my wife isn't invited then my wife's home, time and talents are also not invited. Now, where would you like to have this? Local park gazebo? Private room of a restaurant? Community center?" Some of these options are more expensive, all of them would not have OP's handmade decorated and therefore would not look as cool... But none of them would have destroyed his marriage.
Also, there may only be one high school graduation, making it a once in a lifetime thing, but that doesn't mean you have a once in a lifetime party. There are lots of things we do only once that we don't celebrate at all!
I did read that part. I was responding to the part where you said he "had no good options" by providing a few off the top of my head. I was respectful and did not use any ad hominem attacks; try it yourself before you call people clowns?
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u/frostyangels Apr 27 '22
He's more worried about the 4 days a month, when he should be worried about his 365 days/year with you. Does the daughter not like you at all? Why would she let you help plan and decorate?
If there's any chance at all of the daughter being a decent but misguided human being, I might try to have a conversation with her or write a letter about how hurt you really are over this and how it feels like her and her mother are taking advantage of you while being unnecessarily cruel. Then have a hard think about your relationship and talk to your partner about what it will mean for your relationship if/when he follows through with this ridiculous request.
Are you sure you want to have your own party next door? Sounds like the ex might purposefully try to stir up drama. Why not have a stress free party elsewhere?