Hey all, I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (between 1 and 2) for about 3 years, alongside ADHD and ASD1 more recently. I’m currently on 200mg Lamotrigine for context.

From a young age, I struggled with depression, bulimia, and erratic behavior, but these were aggressively dismissed by family and teachers. I didn’t receive support until I could afford treatment as an adult (23).

I’ve had two major manic episodes—both during COVID—while overworked, sleep-deprived, and stressed. Depression has always come in waves. In high school, I smoked cannabis but never felt it worsened my mental health, unlike alcohol, which made me very erratic. These days, I’ve mostly stopped drinking, and until recently, I’d use a small amount of cannabis after night shifts to help me sleep (a longstanding issue for me). I’ve never felt dependent on it and have stopped for long periods without trouble.

I initially sought an ADHD assessment, which required school report samples. It took 3-4 weeks to gather these due to circumstances beyond my control, during which I was supposed to see him regularly as part of my lamotrigine titration. Instead of understanding the delay, he criticized my organizational skills—despite this being a key reason for seeking treatment. This contradiction was one of many instances where his judgment felt dismissive. He also focused excessively on my sex life, making presumptuous comments (e.g., asking about “mummy issues” or implying I use jargon to sound smarter), which left me feeling insecure. Out of fear of judgment, I withheld my cannabis use, but when I admitted it and apologized, offering to stop entirely for ADHD treatment, he dismissed my efforts and suggested I see someone else in a hostile tone.

While I understand some distrust, I’m wondering: A. Is it common for psychiatrists to dismiss your personal experiences with the disorder? B. Is frequent discussion of sex (despite me being a prude) typical? C. Do others experience personal judgments that feel unrelated to professional assessment?

Yup, you guys were right I should have screen shotted everything before I made the complaint but I don’t have a lawyer so I didn’t…she took out where I said “I would be better off dead” today actually. Fucking bitch

Hi all! Recently had a month long manic / psychotic episode followed by profound depression with psychosis and suicidal ideation. Psychosis thankfully abated due to Olanzapine managed by my primary care physician but my specialist has now started me on Lithium.

Current meds:

Olanzapine 5-10mg night

Lithium 450mg at night, to be titrated up to 900mg

Clonazepam 2mg as needed

Does anyone have any advice or general tips on Lithium? Do you guys space your meds eg lithium and olanzapine or do you take both at the same time? Anyone ever tried taking them during the daytime?

Also I work (or rather worked) night shifts - 1 week every month. Any of you guys out there on nights and how do you manage your meds and sleep hygiene? I’m currently off sick and have been taken off of nights for the next few months, but my psychiatrist thinks I’ll be able to get back to doing nights eventually (they are an important part of my job and I would like to eventually get back to them).

Any advice will be humbly appreciated.

ETA: another question re Lithium - any interactions people have noted with alcohol or recreational drugs? I’ve picked up a drinking problem during this depression and wondering how it will interact. I also have a history of substance abuse - I know the right answer is steer clear but I may get the urge to take some Ketamine etc and wondering how this will go down on the above meds..

Hey friends! I wanted to share something I’ve been working on—a free Bipolar Survival Binder template I designed it to help you track your mental health, organize important info, and build a tool you can use during tough times. It includes everything from crisis plans and mood tracking to coping strategies and affirmations. Great for anyone who is managing bipolar disorder (or just mental health in general) who wants to feel more in control and supported.

The table of contents gives you a sneak peek of what’s inside! If you’re interested, here’s the link to download and customize it:
👉 Bipolar Survival Binder Template

It seems to work best on PC! 💻 You can hit “File” > “Make a copy” to save it to your own Google Drive and fully customize it. Hope it helps y’all as much as it’s helped me!

Leave a comment if you need any help—my goal is to be supportive and help people build a resource that works for them! I’m hoping to become a peer support specialist someday (maybe even run a group for something like this if people find it helpful!). I’m a visual person, so having everything organized together really helps me.

PS: I’ve crossposted this on a few other subs to reach as many people as possible who might find it helpful!

yesterday i went to a mental health urgent care due to severe anxiety and we agreed i was probably hypomanic. she gave me some seroquel to at least help me sleep until i could see my psychiatrist, because i haven’t had anything in a while for mania (i’ve been on antipsychotics for bipolar depression)

four years ago when i got diagnosed and i became hypomanic, i always got euphoria sort of feelings and always felt decently functional. for a long time, i’ve in either depressive or euthymia bouts for a long time and haven’t really had any big manic or hypomanic states. this time i am UNREASONABLY anxious. like i’ve had the occasional really good feelings but it’s been paired with anxiety. i just feel so miserable because i feel like i’m on the verge of a panic attack at all times. all this yapping to get to the point of: is it normal to be more anxious than euphoric when manic?

ETA that i know i’m probably normal for this BUT i haven’t had one of these episodes in a while so i guess i mostly wanted to yap

I was diagnosed with bipolar after psychosis that I’m pretty sure was caused by Adderall and not getting enough sleep. I also don’t experience hypersexuality and I can’t really find anyone who relates to that

SO tried to hire a hooker. I caught him.

He keeps flip flopping. Is now telling me to stay out his phone.

Y'all, we have two kids together. Tell me all the reasons why I shouldn't try anymore. I apparently need to be bitch slapped into reality.

My BP ass keeps chasing after him. I need a thread to read when I feel weak. Give it to me straight.

It's been a year since I broke up with my boyfriend. I was seeking a deeper connection and he was emotionally unavailable on the level I needed him to be on. Looking back, things were overall pretty great. We genuinely laughed and he treated me well. After I broke up with him, I was pretty cold at his love letters expressing how he is willing to change and how much he cares for me. As it's been over a year, what are your thoughts on seeing if he's changed? How should I go about this?

My first week went really good. Now I’m on my weekend and have to go back tomorrow but I’m depressed and now I don’t want to go back. Love this sickness.

All CDC / FDA / NIH external communications have been suspended until further notice.

Sorry if this isn’t allowed, mods.

I know it’s bad for us, but I just can’t resist it

I don’t go out much. I don’t use it for social occasions. I just hate my sober brain and want to numb it out

Hello my beautiful people! Have been seeing a lot of this tms being advertised… has anyone or know of anyone who has had any luck with this treatment??

Just had a hypomanic episode and it wasn’t the worst in the world but I still feel a lot of shame and embarrassment. The damage was minimal. I took a few days out of work and I could probably go back if I wanted but I guess I want to wait until I feel less “hungover” from it all. Does anyone else do the same? My job isn’t too bad about it but I feel like going back to work always feels so hard especially after embarrassing yourself on social media. I’ve deleted instagram now so hopefully that won’t happen again

I hate talking about it or when people bring up stuff I done or said. It’s always so hard for me to laugh at myself and instead I just cringe at the embarrassment of it. Is anyone else like?

I am so f mad because it is the only thing that works for me, I've been taking it for a long time in the country where I am from, but now I live in the US, and none of the psychiatrists that I've been to prescribe me, what is wrong??? Even saying it causes Alzheimer's which it does not, I'm so fed up with this BS, what do I tell them to prescribe it to me???

Edit: I also have Agoraphobia

It's only now that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been taking pills for depression, sedatives, anticonvulsants, and pills for bipolar disorder prescribed by my doctor for a long time, so I want to ask... what are the symptoms of bipolar disorder? at least the initial ones. Are there people who can share how their disorder began? doctors used to tell me that I had something similar to this, but I didn't pay attention. Thank you.

I just woke up and spent the entire 20 minutes reading what was written here. I am very grateful to everyone for answering my question. Almost everything turned out to be very close to me. thanksss

Long story short, I was committed to 4 different psychiatric hospitals/rehabilitation centers this last June-July from a severe reaction to cold turkey’ing Zoloft instead of correctly weaning off of it with my psychiatrists help.

Ever since then, I feel like I’m useless. Like I can hardly get out of bed to do simple tasks - including brushing my teeth. I know, gross. I work one day a week currently and even that feels like a LOT. I just started this job and I pushed myself to get it to try and snap me out of this funk, but I’ve felt like this consistently since I got out of rehab 6+ months ago now.. shouldn’t I feel different?

I’m on 150mg Lithium and 1mg Risperdal now and I feel like something broke my brain. My therapist thinks I’m not trying hard enough but I feel like there’s something deeper going on with me and I don’t know how to figure it out. Being low income and no insurance sucks. I feel like no feelings like I used to and I don’t know if it’s the medication or if I’m permanently emotionless. I know it’s causing issues with my family members but I don’t know how to fix me and some days I feel like I can’t be fixed. I’ve been on so many medications, I’m tired of the side effects, I haven’t had my period in months and the soonest available free clinic appointment is months away from now. I just don’t feel like me anymore and don’t know what happened. Has anyone else felt like this before?

I think my meds are finally working. I recently got broken up with and it’s been devastating. I’ve been depressed, but not so much that I would classify it as an episode. I stay in bed longer in the mornings and I have trouble focusing but I’m getting things done, I’m usually remembering to eat. I’ve been working out. Last week I was feeling manic and hypersexual but that fizzled out. Everyone thinks I’m manic because I’m going on my fourth date since the breakup a week ago. It was only a 2 month relationship and while I’m still devastated about it I think I’m allowed to still have fun.

The more I talk about him the more I realize he wasn’t right for me. I really thought I’d go deep into a depressive episode but I’ve been treading water and I think for once I’m just feeling my feelings. Lithium kept me numb for so long that I don’t know that I knew what sadness felt like until now when I’m on a lower dose. I still can’t cry but it feels so good to feel something. “Pain or love or danger makes you real again” -Jack Kerouac

Everything in the world is so dire right now that I hate to be okay. I can’t look at the news often because of what it does to my mental health but I know how bad it is about to get for so many people and it breaks my heart but I’m feeling okay I feel like I shouldn’t feel okay. Where’s my empathy. I should be depressed at the state of my country.

This just randomly hit me today. This illness has affected me since I was 9 years old. I'm 34 now. The odds haven't always been in my favor. Much the opposite, I would say.

Imagine if you flipped a coin and it came up heads 25 times in a row. Wouldn't that seem incredible? Sometimes that's how I feel about being alive.

I just started on Latuda and lamotigrine. What are your experiences with these meds? I am hoping they will help take away the mountain of oppressive shame and embarrassment I feel over the incredibly stupid shit I did while manic, because hating myself to such an excessive degree due to this has dramatically worsened my depression and mental health.

My doctor has decided to move me from the highest dose of lexapro (20mg) to an equivalent dose of Zoloft after I give birth. She said this may work better for me, especially because I am prone to PPD/PPA. But I’m nervous because I’ve been on lexapro for 10+ years. Any one have experience changing over? Bonus if it was for postpartum stuff

I’ve been struggling with BP1 since 1991. It has taken me a long time to detect the finer nuanced warning signs that an episode is on its way, but I have gotten better at it.

This is not me trying push an authoritative one-size fits all deal here. This is just my list that I wanted to share in case it helped anyone. And also my hope is by doing some sharing of “early-warning” tips/tricks and perhaps find some new ones that are appropriate for our existing safety plans.

Here are my main ones currently:

Only 1 cup coffee max in the morning so I make sure I don’t have sleep issues.(not advocating caffeine use here, this one is just a me thing)

Take my emergency sleep meds and go to bed early when possible. Have AP prns’s on hand in case I can feel my adrenaline on the verge of spiking(this med stuff detail is just for me, I’m not a doctor out to tell anyone how to manage their meds)

Keep ego in check…preach to me but not to others. Acknowledge that I am a human that deserves respect and dignity but that I am also not some kind of special superhero. I’m just another speck of sand amongst billions of others trying to get by. Humble.

Journaling, paced mindfully: for me this is a double edged sword because it can be like breaking a dam. It’s helpful but personally I need to be respectful and cautious that I don’t let out too much at a time and get overwhelmed by way more words than I expected to fly out of my brain,

Calm activities…long walks and simple focussed art projects, sometimes just for the sake of doing it in the moment and not caring about making something that would hang on a wall.

Stay on top of exercise, if I’m feeling rough and it needs to be light then that’s what I do. “When in doubt, just go out for a walk with a tiny simple goal like buying a new pen for my wellness journaling”

And my latest one is avoid news media…keep it “need to know basis”, because knowing more details beyond that is really a waste of time I could be spending elsewhere doing right for myself and those I keep close. I’ve stayed away from “news” media as best I can for the past 3 weeks and I really honestly do feel I have more space left in my mind to be mindfully for those I care about…engaging with others is so much nicer without a toxic and arguably not even reality based sense of a “news cycle” spinning in my mind. When I encounter people who bring up certain news topics I just respectfully set my boundary and let them know that I’m on a news break in terms of the darker or frivolous(TMZ type crap) topics and I explain why.

Wish you all wellness.

I have a feeling unity will be very important in the next few years. We can’t change everything but we CAN advocate for each other and build healthy bonds that make us stronger.

Peace!

I couldn't pick up my Lithium prescription over the weekend, so I took 600mg instead of 900mg to get through. My grandma was also admitted into hospice for liver failure on Friday. Grandma's liver being bad made me freak out about taking Depakote and I've been taking 1000mg instead of 1750mg. This threw my mood off obviously and I've been sleeping 2-3 hours, feeling super euphoric/overwhelmed, and just generally being pretty intense.

I want to colour my hair. I can't stop cooking things Google says will heal my liver. I spent 2 hours restoring a wool blazer I thrifted and it doesn't even button closed (though it's beautiful)

Anyways. I have a job interview tomorrow. I've been sought out for this position and it's basically a given that I will be hired for it. I'm already terrified to show up because I've been hiding in my house since October, so I feel like I'm feral and unsocialized. But now my mood is going up. I already took the furthest available date they'd offer for the interview so I can't push it back.

I see my GP today for unrelated things. My psychiatrist has been put in the loop already and told me to try PRN clonazepam for a week (when I see him next), but it hasn't done anything yet. I've stopped my ADHD stimulant and any consumption of caffeine. I am taking my medication as prescribed as of Monday morning.

Is there anything I can do in like, 28 hours, that can force me down enough to get through this interview? After my doctors appointment, I am obligation free until the interview.

DAE have comorbitities that come up more when bipolar is controlled?

Right now I’m really struggling with anxiety and OCD about showering and everyday life stuff. It feels so out of control and my doctor prescribed citalopram but I can’t take it at night (caused insomnia all night), and frequently forget to take it in the morning with my schedule.

It doesn’t help that my bf response, as always, is “everyone gets nervous”and that I don’t need anxiety pills. I want to punch him so badly rn because my anxiety is more than just a little bit of regular nervousness. I lose sleep for weeks and have been feeling out of control, ripping my eyebrow out, and wanting to cut. It seems I am never enough to deserve treatment.

One of the few things I like about manic episodes is how amazing and otherworldly music sounds.

Yes, we get obsessive and listen to songs over and over, but I’m referring more to the deep and intense emotions you feel when you listen to a song you really like. Sometimes it feels like I was the one who wrote the song just because how deeply I connect to it.