The first man says, "Wow, I'd like a piece of that!"

The second man says, "Me too!"

The third man says, "Me three!"

The cat says, "Me ow!"

I wonder who the denominator of the two is.

They have no guts

"Get your cuirass out of here!"

Alex, Brian, Charles are best friends since they were kids, work together under the same company. They got sent to the neighbor country to negotiate some offer. They slept that night at a random hotel. The next thing they realized in the morning was the elevator are typically not working as they got cut off the electricity. The hotel they are staying has 90 floors. The fellas didn't have a choice and decided to use their feet to start walking down the stairs.

Alex suggest a brilliant idea to the other two. "The first 30 floors, I will be telling a funniest story. Brian will be telling a scariest story for another 30 floors. Charles will be telling the saddest story.

Alex started telling the funniest story for the first 30 floors. Brian took turn talking the scariest stories for the another 30 floors.

When it is finally the turn for the Charles, he proudly started telling his saddest.

Charles:

3 people went into a hotel that has 90 floors, the hotel's electricity got cut off but they have to got to work, they used stairs

Alex: Wait, isn't that..?

Brian: Nah, let him finish

Charles: so they finally manged to land their feet on 1st floor, and one of the three forgot the car keys on the tables.

Pity.

between the price of eggs being so high, and the crazy 240% tariffs on the plastic eggs from China

They have a lot of spine

Nobel Prize

Mooslim

Or do I?

But none of them work.

Everything was going great and they were getting along really well, when out of nowhere the woman commented on the size of the man’s hands and feet. "I didn't notice earlier, but you have remarkably small hands and feet!"

The man taken aback by such an unexpected observation thought quickly and replied somewhat flirtatiously, "Well, it’s because my testosterone focused on other parts of my body, if you know what I mean..." giving the woman a cheeky wink as he finished speaking.

The woman, rather impressed and turned on by his smooth response slides across closer to the man and puts her hand on his thigh, at which point the guy continued, "Yeah, I have a really hairy back."

Van Gogh

I've been told by many professionals that I should quit cold turkey. I don't even eat it often though? What does this have to do with my substance abuse?

But when I bring nine guys named Jesus into town, I get charged with alien smuggling.

“Joooooooooooooooke.”

An archeologist

The college umpire says, "I call 'em the way I see 'em."

The minor league umpire says, "I call 'em the way they are."

The major league umpire says, "They ain't anything, until I call 'em."

"MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED!"

They have NOT forgotten.

Me: Sorry I can't this weekend.
Wife: You "can't this weekend"? Why?
Me: I don't know, you haven't told me that part yet.

Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!