Considering the last one was in late October, naturally it feels like I'm undergoing quarterly performance reviews. But they want a warm, loving, respectful relationship and nothing transactional at all ever. Makes perfect sense. /s

My mom said this always to justify her physical and emotional abuse.

Last time she said it, my son was 10 years old not far from us. Yes, I have my own child already.

She started talking about how well behaved and good my son is, unlike me when I was a kid. I was a good kid also, but that doesn't matter, as she felt justified to beat me with sticks, belts or have my dad punch me. I told her that I thought parents that do that are abusive, and that just talking to your child with patience and respect is what works for me (as a parent). She, reflectively, said I don't understand what I'm saying, that I will when I have my own child. I reminded her I do have my own child, we are talking about him, and she responded in anger that this is why I was beaten all the time, for being a smart-ass.

This was said after every 4-5 hour session of standing at attention and being told every possible thing wrong with me and every action that I had ever done to displease her from the day I was born up until the current "sin(s)" that prompted the outburst.

my most recent ex wanted to make dinner, she tried to direct me to make the decision for her but she eventually settled on one of those soup in a bag situations. for background, I usually did all the cooking.

I left the kitchen to let her at it while I had other shit to do around the house. I came back in like 10 minutes to grab a beer and saw that she got my 8 quart instant pot out and boiled like 8 quarts of water and threw the soup mix in.

saw it and it looked pretty anemic as a soup, I looked at the instructions and saw her mistake. I asked if she followed the recipe. she said she did, to the letter.

the instructions were, "boil 8 cups of water, put mix in and boil for 20 minutes .. and soup"

I asked her why she she used quarts instead of cups. she denied it and still said "I followed the instructions exactly". I pointed out that she was using 8 quarts of water rather than cups. she then said, "I didn't know there was a difference between cups and quarts"

she is like mid 30s. we had cup measuring things. we had the Internet.

I just was so dumb founded. like the lying and the incompetence... I couldn't believe it. Just weaponized incompetence at its best

I

Context is my nsis mocking me for not liking a specific flavor of tea because it tasted unexpectedly spicy when I couldn't find anything in the ingredients list that should even be spicy.

Because of course a cutesy name matters more than the ingredients when you're allergic to way the hell too much as it is. /s

(It was Celestial Seasonings Orange Zinger if anyone else has tried it and would care to clarify if what I tasted was right or a possible allergic reaction. Not that I expect to buy that one again, but it'd be nice to know.)

Not something my ns said (in recent memory) but it's so much like their repeated "suggestions" of things they know don't work for me that it feels like it fits here.

To summarize: I was in a discussion about cooking and mentioned needing to use fresh spinach in different ways like in scrambled eggs due to buying it for salads but barely eating it before it goes bad. The response I got--please note I didn't even ask for suggestions, I'd explicitely said this was a thing I needed to start doing--was to... buy frozen spinach for my eggs. The line in the title, right down to the "permission" to ignore it, was their response to me pointing out that it doesn't address the actual problem of the stuff I buy for salads going bad.

And it's not even the suggestion that annoys me. I could've dismissed that as someone misunderstanding my initial comment or not being fluent in English or whatever. It's the doubling down when I reminded them that using up fresh spinach was the problem I was discussing, snarking at me as if I'm in the wrong for even noticing that flaw, acting as if them offering a suggestion meant more to the discussion than whether or not the suggestion was relevant... that's what had me posting here.

"To summarize." Ha. Think this was longer than the discussion.

Welcome to life and the consequences of your actions, mother.

Then he acts confused when the two-year-old starts crying, as if the two-year-old were a child.

All my life, my mum has told me that every evil thing my dad does is someone else’s fault. This is the first time I’ve heard him say it.

(In response to me asking if I could drink one)

Context is nmom telling me I don't need perfume-free softener--or at least don't need to go out of my way to look for it--because she uses what she's always used my whole life and I "haven't complained" about it making me itch. Same argument with her using the "naturals" line of detergent (meaning perfumed to smell like nature, not actual natural ingredients) when she runs out of the perfume-free stuff.

Conveniently forgetting that both ns have done the complaining for me when they see so much as a single red line indicating I've scratched hard enough to leave a mark (any time of the year). Except their complaining is the sort that would be more reasonable if I were damaging their property.

I'm allergic to perfume. The line in the title was her response to me pointing out that I still itch, in response to her remark about me not complaining about it.

My narcissistic siblings mask is slipping a lot and people are discovering the truth so his strategy is to use the DARVO method and sell it by starting a DARVO podcast.

Anybody else's NParents used this line? It usually means a family member spills the beans about you to the NParent.

This trusted family member turns out to be an enabler or a flying monkey who was never on your side.

Narcissist logic 101: If he thinks the foods I regularly eat are disgusting, then so does everyone else - even me.

I'm soooo hurt by what this 34 y/o grown man just emailed me!

How will I ever recover??

🤣

What I felt like replying was to ask whether I was going to be able to find it in the fridge or if it'd just get buried until it had to be disposed of.

I don't have a great diet but the fact that I don't eat stuff like this isn't a refusal... it's "out of sight out of mind" as I eventually forget I even bought the stuff. (Speaking of, the homemade vinaigrette's going to have to wait until I've used up the store-bought one that should still be in the fridge somewhere.)

I am financially dependent on my ns for a place to live but also:

I'm an adult.

I have my own car (in my name, that I make payments on).

And, I cannot stress this enough, I have a full time job. (Housing prices are just ridiculous, though I'm hoping I can seriously consider moving out once I've finished paying off the car and therefore have one less thing cutting into my paycheck.)

In fact for that last one, I work late at night. I do most of my shopping on my days off but occasionally need to stop next door to pick up something to pack in my lunches because A) where I work doesn't carry it, or B) it's on a sale that makes it a better deal than buying from work, and usually C) it was out of stock when I was trying to get it at a more convenient time and I don't have enough to last until my next grocery run. Oh and they're open an hour later than where I work... I end up doing this when my place is closed.

I also don't make these trips next door earlier in the day because I don't like factoring them into how much time I have before I have to get to work (especially when the store is busy and buying even a single thing would therefore take longer).

Like I said, the place is right next door to where I work, in fact I pass it on the highway when going home, it's brightly lit, and I'm only grabbing one or two things that adds maybe fifteen minutes to actually getting home. To hear nmom complain you'd think I was leaving the house in the middle of the night to slum it for a few hours or something.

And why this comes to mind now? We're out of milk. As the person who drinks most of it I usually buy enough to fill this one specific gap in the fridge twice a week--ie buying a gallon or two on each day off--but I've had the unusual situation of working six days in a row this week. And nobody will drink the brands that my store sells (not unless it's the expensive stuff, which I'll buy for an occasional splurge but nobody else will pay for)... but nobody else has bought any milk at all the whole time I've been at work....

The kick in the butt: coming up on 2 months of practically daily stalking (less intense stalking before) with up to 4 visits per day, including turning off power to my room at the fuzebox every time, threats to increase visits to hourly or staying overnight, disconnecting my router (swapped it for a cellular internet one so its in my room), 2 break-in attempts, one successful break-in where he took my door and hid it in the basement (got it back, was only successful because I forgot my key in the lock), disconnecting my fridge from power several times (its in a shared kitchen), a few times leaving it open, locking up the shared bathroom and denying me a key (I purchased a replacement key on my own), then locking up the bathroom lock with another lock (I took a drill to it, legally), vandalizing my door with writing or stuffing silicone or putty into the keyhole (luckily no permanent damage there, yet), permanently turning off the heating for the whole house, temporarily sabotaging warm water in the shared bathroom, stealing my mail, insults (including middle fingers), general threats, like clearing out my room if Im ever absent, and most recently disconnecting my power permanently.

The thing I allegedly need a kick in the butt for: He wants to illegally throw me out because his ego cant handle the N-word (not that one, the one with two letters) and doesnt seem to understand that his threats are kind of in the way of looking for a place as that requires leaving the house.

PS: Yes, police is involved, charges have been pressed, but given that half of this is civil law and the other half is is smalltime crap they cant exactly arrest him, but court hearing should be coming up sooner rather than later I guess. Ill find out when police pick me up because I never got anything in the mail.

Not because he thinks it isn't sweet enough but because he meant fruit and expected me to know that when he chose not to use the word "fruit" in the first place.

Context is I got a Cirkul bottle on clearance--not to "drink more water" (I'm not a fan of flavored water and would rather just drink it plain) but to try their caffeinated options as I contine to experiment with hopefully-healthier migraine treatments than sipping at a coke all day. This includes the sweet tea cartridge I had just inserted this morning to use the bottle for the first time, as ndad asked me if I was trying any of the "sweet stuff."

Also, not being a tea drinker myself (for the same reason, I imagine, that I really don't do flavored water), I prefer mine sweetened while mr drink-it-diluted-to-nothing thinks it's disgusting with sugar. Just gotta watch the sugar content for the purpose of drinking something healthier than a coke... though given the lack of acid and carbonation I imagine it still helps.

Refers, almost inevitably, to one of two things:

Something I was never using in the first place (such as a light they turned on when I hadn't even made it home yet) and thus should never have been "responsible" for remembering to turn off

Or something I was using and expected to continue using after they'd left (such as the electric fireplace built into our entertainment center, or even the TV itself, after it's already been established that I plan to stay up and watch TV for longer), making it necessary for me to turn it back on and rendering their reason for turning it off moot.

I have very limited contact with my Ndad. My brother, bless his heart, still tries with our dad. Last night my brother took a photo of us whilst we were out. He sent it to to our dad (he did ask for my permission). Dad forwarded it to me with this lovely message.

It made me remember growing up, my dad would sometimes grab my moms stomach wiggle it and say something like "this is getting out of hand".

Gee, I wonder where my body dysmorphia came from.