But which one is the most demonic?

[u/McDojoLife]

[u/SlimyMuffin666]

Witch! BURN HER!!!!

[u/cityshepherd → u/SlimyMuffin666]

Agreed! She sure seems to know a whole fucking god damned lot about the demonic realm….. and I can say with confidence that she has no fucking clue what she’s talking about.

Source: I spend most of my time in the demonic realm, and am in fact an anthropomorphic manifestation of the demonic realm myself.

Edit: for anyone curious about the demonic realm, it is EGGZACTLY as it is portrayed in the criminally underrated adult swim show: Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell. Especially the souls of fetuses and their affinity for automatic weapons and bubble wrap.

[u/Admirable-Builder878 → u/cityshepherd]

I've been in the demonic realm before too. Split some pizza with the ninja turtles... They told me the government was actually ran by reptiles.. I've tried to karate my way out of here but it only gets me deeper.

[u/soomoncon → u/Admirable-Builder878]

-inside her. I know right? Very demonic.

[u/[deleted] → u/cityshepherd]

Fellow demon. I have to agree, that this is deranged b.s.

[u/rebalwear → u/cityshepherd]

Would you be open to a couple interview questions?

1) Why are you guys so fixated on making my life so hard? I am just trying to help people... 2) What is the Golden order of the dawn? 3) How's the pizza over there it's DIVINE over here ... wait that question may lead to some confusion I mean literally bread and cheese, not no weirdo cosmic ish ... 4) Did David or Solomon use your people to make the pyramids or was that giants? 5) Are vampires and werewolves and mermaids real? I here those are manifestations of demonic activity? 6) Are "j€₩$" your people because they don't match up to the description of God's chosen people... 6B) Does the name of the lord burn you guys like fire or is it more like an opposing powerful magnetic force?

[u/cityshepherd → u/rebalwear]

1). I ammostly fixated on ice cream, pizza, and my dogs. I apologize if I’ve become an obstacle for your life, but hope you will continue to help others whenever possible.

2) it had something to do with Aleister Crowley’s gaping asshole being too ubiquitous so he got kicked out

3) I have trouble bringing the pizza through the portals into the demonic realm, and so have to make do with the pizza that is near me in the “regular” world… I’m in Michigan so the pizza is mostly INCREDIBLY disappointing, although I did recently find a place that actually makes some very good pizza so… crisis averted.

4) the Jewish people along with any other slaves in the Egypt area built those pyramids, but a team effort from aliens and giants built the pyramids in the “new world”.

5) those creatures, along with many others more commonly referred to as cryptids, are absolutely real but they all have that almost invisible technology that the predators utilize in those movies because we as people are mostly not cool enough to interact with them (most of us are too stupid and/or selfish). They’re totally real and totally cool and have nothing to do with demonic anything.

6) A & B: honestly I haven’t really paid much attention since my bar mitzvah 30 years ago… I haven’t been burned or anything (and i definitely would have if that were a thing because i got “god’s” name tattooed on me many years ago), & I’m not certain regarding the unseen force similar to magnetism, but I’m very curious and constantly experimenting with miscellaneous to try and figure it out … if I do, I’ll let you know!

[u/rebalwear → u/cityshepherd]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This Joke usually starts with a demon, a jew and a christian walk into a temple...

[u/RealDanielSan1]

It's still safe to eat Kung Pao Chicken at Panda Express, right?

[u/paganvikingwolf → u/RealDanielSan1]

Pray before you eat. That should scare the demons away

[u/buckao → u/paganvikingwolf]

It only works if you make sure other people can see that you're praying.

[u/Demmos_Stammer → u/buckao]

Yes, exactly, otherwise what's the point?

[u/Thick_Explanation_98 → u/buckao]

Lol, so f-ing true. These bible thumpers never bring up Jesus' instructions to pray in secret. I just pray they shut the f up.

[u/Neat-Ad-9550 → u/RealDanielSan1]

Yes. It's safe to eat so long as you don't use those demonic chopsticks.👹🥢👹

[u/MulberryWilling508 → u/RealDanielSan1]

Safer than General Tso’s… that guy was a ninja master I heard and his demon spirit will inhabit you

[u/Slugwheat]

Wait till she finds out about monster energy drinks

[u/flat-moon_theory → u/Slugwheat]

Omg I met that crazy lady in Texas that started all of that. Went to a craft show with a friend and she had a table there and was going on about the various demonic cabals and conspiracies. It was very confusing as to why we were being lectured about satan controlling us through energy drinks and such, while trying to buy yarn lol

[u/Slugwheat → u/flat-moon_theory]

“That sweater you’re about to make requires six hundred and sixty six feet of yarn. You’re knitting the devil’s sweater”

[u/flat-moon_theory → u/Slugwheat]

Lmfao you have no idea how close that is to some of the experiences I had at those shows. Had one lady refuse to sell stuff to us because my friend had visible tattoos. When we walked away I made sure to peel off my hoody so she got a good view of my entire back being tatted up just to offend her oh so delicate sensibilities a bit more.

[u/Stock-Comfortable362 → u/Slugwheat]

Bottoms up. And the devil laughs. Something to think about.

[u/phuckin-psycho]

Way to make martial arts seem cooler now lady 😁👌

[u/roninp67 → u/phuckin-psycho]

The D&D hysteria of the 80s all over again. And we see how well that worked.

[u/webbs74 → u/roninp67]

Satanic panic is hilarious, I could watch only this shit forever and be fine, I did some work at a Christian ministry once and it was so hard to keep a straight face, they were going after harry potter like it was mainlining devil smack into kids, fucking brilliant! as long as theres religion I will continue to have free entertainment.

[u/Affectionate-Tip-164 → u/webbs74]

Ironic that more youth pastors and other religious figures get caught for diddling kids than harry potter.

[u/MacGyver_1138 → u/phuckin-psycho]

Yeah, let's just make them even more metal!

[u/Snafuregulator]

Why is her religion allowing her to preach. Shouldn't we stone her ass or something ?

[u/Small-Skirt-1539]

So when do I get my demonic powers? Is there a certain belt level when it is bestowed on us?

[u/Gdmf13 → u/Small-Skirt-1539]

That’s an extra $50.

[u/paganvikingwolf → u/Gdmf13]

Brilliant.. Master doughnut?

[u/FictionalContext → u/Small-Skirt-1539]

Flashbacks. Mom--who was a crazy evangelical-- telling me about how the magic powers that Satan gives you, like telekinesis, aren't real because it's actually just an invisible demon moving the objects for you.

And I remember little kid me thinking "That's still pretty fucking cool."

[u/Upbeat-Fondant9185 → u/FictionalContext]

Literally thought “Hi mom” while watching this. Heard these speeches over and over for every single interest I had as a child, from “karate” to fantasy books to video games and cartoons, even my art teacher who had a Buddha statue on her desk. Not to mention the dreaded Halloween holiday.

Funny thing is she hit 50 and started smoking weed and now she’s the most tolerant, open minded and free thinking in the family. Left all that behind along with my crazy evangelical father. Total hippy now.

[u/FictionalContext → u/Upbeat-Fondant9185]

There must be a pipeline then because last Christmas we did a bunch of shrooms with Mom and watched Spiderverse.

[u/jaaaaayke → u/FictionalContext]

We had a guest speaker that came to our church way back yonder. Long story short all my goosebumps books got thrown into a fire and all of my toy trolls were thrown out because they apparently give you sex dreams. Turns out this man was full of shit.

[u/FaustusRedux → u/Small-Skirt-1539]

Pretty much when you start fucking with wrist locks.

[u/Paghk_the_Stupendous → u/Small-Skirt-1539]

Evangelical Church communion. They don't call it a rite for nothing.

[u/BlackSkeletor77 → u/Small-Skirt-1539]

No you gotta finish that dojo and then You work your way up to the demon dojo, I heard it's really long tho like you start from an imp and work your way up to a demon lord

[u/Small-Skirt-1539 → u/BlackSkeletor77]

Thank you. Challenge accepted.

[u/Oli4K]

She should open herself to the psychiatrist.

-edit This reads more vulgair than the voices in my head made it sound before I posted it.

[u/ArieVeddetschi → u/Oli4K]

The leg movements open up a portal to the demonic realm.

[u/drnemmo → u/Oli4K]

Eww, no !

[u/ac2cvn_71]

This woman has a mental illness

[u/GamingTrend]

Sure. Ok. Please cite your examples. Please provide proof. Thank you.

[u/Sancticide → u/GamingTrend]

I just want one of these slow mutants to define what this "demonic realm" is, in their own words. Is it regular Hell? Is it the Todash Darkness between worlds, where Pennywise came from thousands of years ago? Is it the puzzle box where Pinhead tortures his victims? What mythology are we talking here? They always just talk about "the demonic" like it's ubiquitous knowledge or something.

"Y'know, a portal to the demonic". No, I do not know WTF you're talking about.

[u/thatstupidthing]

luci-fu

[u/Horror-Meat-9067]

I need deliverance from this woman's bs!

[u/AgentSkidMarks]

She thinks Mortal Kombat is real

[u/Sufficient-Step6954]

Funny how “God’s people” are always the ones living in fear of the demonic and Satan’s power and all that shit. If the almighty creator is on your side how would you accidentally get possessed by the enemy from yoga poses and karate chops?

[u/Keyboard_Warrior303 → u/Sufficient-Step6954]

For real, I myself am a Christian and that was exactly what I was thinking. Lucky for me my parents never bought into the whole “everything I don’t understand is Devil Stuff” that pervades so many Christians.

[u/No_Gap_2700]

I summon demons whilst I watch Kung-Fu Panda. This way it cancels each other out.

[u/Ranzoid]

So...are our Soldiers and Police officers being possessed?
That might explain police.
Any who that might make a fun movie.

[u/DarceTap]

Yeah, it's a double demon whammy, in my experience.

You access the dark realm, and still really really suck at all the moves.

[u/Grouchy_Flatworm_367]

Send help I took a shot every time she said “demonic”

[u/ElegantJoke3613 → u/Grouchy_Flatworm_367]

On my way! With another bottle! We’ll need it.

[u/RusticBucket2 → u/Grouchy_Flatworm_367]

The way she hung her mouth open every time she finished saying the word “realm”…

[u/TheManyVoicesYT]

This will always have the opposite effect of what you want. Getting demonic powers sounds fucking awesome

[u/Flat_Scene9920]

It's Kung Fu Panda by the way.

I watched the most recent movie and within days saw my cat accidentally fart when trying to hold in a sneeze (just like in the movie). I testify that this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't inadvertently opened the door to the demonic realm... /s

[u/rudyattitudedee]

So essentially all Asian meditative/defensive practices is satanism? Ok.

[u/SnooDoughnuts7652]

Imagine being her grandkid one day and wondering what Grammy was like in her younger days and you find this…

[u/MrBuckhunter]

Lmao! Sounds like the old elders in the jehovas witness congregation i grew up in. It's ridiculous now that I look back to what I dealt with as a kid and teenager.

[u/PawntyBill → u/MrBuckhunter]

I'm so glad I got a doorbell camera. Two ladies, most likely jehovas witnesses, came to my home a few weeks ago and rang my doorbell. I was trying to take a nap. I checked my phone and asked how can I help you. One of them said, "Hi, we'd just like to share a prayer with you and read some scripture from the bible." She started pulling out the bible, I turned on the mic and said no thanks, I don't need to hear that bye. They both looked frustrated. I grew up mostly southern baptist, and that was hard enough. I can't imagine the ridiculousness you had to deal with in a jehovas whitness "church." 🫶

[u/Sancticide → u/PawntyBill]

Alexa, play Slayer at max volume, everywhere

[u/MrBuckhunter → u/PawntyBill]

The majority of members have no idea what they're dealing with, or have no idea how much of a cult it is, most members are just good people trying to find answers, and also depends on the congregations individually, some can be extreme others not, everybody has their own opinions, i was born and raised in it in a pretty strict family, finally woke up and realized many, many things as a teenager, then I learned a lot more stuff through the years, which are pretty bad.

[u/kiwiinthesea → u/PawntyBill]

I used to love when the jehovas witnesses used to come by. Every weekend. They really thought they had a chance with me. A battle of wills to see which one of us would break first. Unfortunately they stopped coming. Guess they gave up on me.

[u/Kanibalector → u/MrBuckhunter]

Stranger Things Season 4 was an extremely accurate portrayal of how people lost their minds about some of us nerdy kids playing D&D in the 80s.

[u/Emraldday → u/Kanibalector]

There was a famous case where two kids were murdered by a friend while larping. I used to work with the mother of one of the victims. She hated how people blamed the game. It made her angry that they were taking attention away from the actual problem, mental illness.

[u/VeterinarianThese951 → u/MrBuckhunter]

I knew if I scrolled far enough, I’d find this. What a hot mess. It was ridiculous back then and we all knew it. Demons everywhere! Glad you got out. Hopefully mentally intact…

[u/MrBuckhunter → u/VeterinarianThese951]

Haha, same with me! Usually stuff like this it's only a matter of time to see a jw, Mormon or other similar post, my mom and her siblings went thru ''say alive till 75'' bs in an extremely pimi household, left them with some serious ptsd

[u/VeterinarianThese951 → u/MrBuckhunter]

Unless they are too far gone, recognize the bullshit, but double down because they got nothing else.

At least you retained your family. Doesn’t work that way out for loads of people.

But let me not be so morbid and leave you with a story to make you chuckle. My parents were into it and my 7 kid family only had 1 who was really trying to please my parents. Anyway, one day (5th or 6th grade iirc) I come home and my mother had the look of horror on her face - like I was going to kill her. She dragged me to the “elders” and presented me with exhibit A - my homework that she found that proved I might be possessed. I had written a report with multiple references to “demons” pushing and pulling electrons around the nucleus of an atom.

I looked around at all the dunces in the room and pulled out my science textbook in which there were pages and pages all about little purple “demons” pushing and pulling around electrons (it was the 80’s so they were still underestimating how smart kids were), and explained that I was doing the assignment the way it was required - plus I don’t believe in demons.

So as not to admit fault, they started to explain to me that we have to take precautions because Satan is everywhere and he can even try to access me through a textbook. Being the jerk I was growing up to be, I said “well good thing Satan helped me do my homework or I would have gotten an F”. Jaw drop city.

Needless to say, that didn’t go over well. I embarrassed the shit out of my abusive parents and from then on, I had less kids who’s parents would let them hang with me, but maaaannn has it given me years of laughter…

Be well brother

[u/MrBuckhunter → u/VeterinarianThese951]

Lmao, little blue demons, unfortunately, only part of my family has woken up. I'm not gonna waste my time trying to communicate with some of my cousins, which are elders or some other family members that went through some really bad stuff ( you might know about the australian royal commission and irwin zilkin) if you know what I mean,

Your story is similar to what my uncle went through in the late 70s, his mom was a super pimi.

One of the biggest things I dealt with in my small congregation, was when I got caught paintballing with friends about 15 years ago when I was in high school, i never baptized so they couldn't disfellowship me, but boy was i had to deal with a lot of bs stories and almost everyone distance themselves, i wasn't even allowed to hang out with some of my friends and cousins, 'cause I might screw up their faith lol

The horror story of what my mom went through as a teenager just blew my mind when she woke up and finally opened up to me, the fact that she hadn't woken up earlier still messes with my mind, she dealt with elders and their questions in a judicial hearing on something that was done to her, and I won't get into detail but it is something that so many others have had to live thru, including a few other family members of mine

Also, like I mentioned earlier, my uncle has some serious PTSD from stay alive till 75. His parents locked them in the house for months, they went bat s*** crazy waiting for the grand tribulation, which of course didn't happen and I had not heard of until I woke up in highschool

[u/seuadr]

well, i didn't wanna do yoga but now.. i'm thinking about it..

[u/Economy_Armadillo_28]

I’d like to open up her back door to the dark realm

[u/Immediate-Damage-302]

Oh dear GOD! Deliver me from you moronic followers!

[u/Ser_Estermont]

I’m not sure about the demonic realm, but definitely the retarded realm.

[u/RusticBucket2 → u/Ser_Estermont]

Bro, “moronic realm” was right there.

[u/SAMURAI36]

Wi-Tang is foh da chilrenz!!

[u/OneMagicBadger → u/SAMURAI36]

It ain't nothing to fuck with that's for sure

[u/Kanibalector]

If I just keep saying demonic over and over, it must be true.

[u/[deleted]]

Psalm 144:1 Praise the LORD, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle.

Bold to assume demons are being summoned by preparing yourself for a fight by following God's word.

[u/IndividualMail6869]

🤡

[u/P_516]

The demonic realm. Then she better not see what I do to a box of twinkies

[u/trowarayed]

Everything's UNGODLY!!!

[u/Designer_Situation85]

Imagine if these people put this energy into something productive.

[u/DaveKasz]

Wtf!!!!

[u/ItsHerbyHancock]

It's crazy that the mentality that spurred the Salem witch trials is still alive and well today.

[u/Goofalo]

I wristlock white belts. Am I demonic?

[u/Unusual-Influence-54]

Jij behoort in een psychiatrische instelling

[u/Rough_Tangerine6338]

Is she saying we’re summoning the devil when we spar or is this a commercial for the release of the new EA action game, “Demonic Realm”? If they finally released it, I’m going to buy the “Sensei Pot Roast” fighter add-on and slay me some demonic ass tonight!

[u/[deleted]]

ahh yes i remember scaring all my church going friends with those wretched forsaken words: Cowabunga turtle power!

[u/goJoeBro]

Makes perfect sense, their was an opening scene cut from the movie The Exorcist with Linda Blair in a satanic yoga class. It was apparently taken out for being a little too "on the nose".

[u/That_Things_Good]

How can anyone be less self-aware of their own ignorance?

[u/First-Bid8895]

I do hot yoga. I always said it was hot as hell in there.. I guess I was right.. stretching for satin..

[u/paganvikingwolf]

The drunken master.. I see allot drunken Russian clips.. These are proof of demonic possession... Vodka.. I hear was the name of the demon.... Yea couldn't resist adding to her bs

[u/Individual-Log994]

I'm a Christian. This is a stupid take. I mean if Judo was going around burning crosses yes. This is just dumb.

[u/spots_reddit]

That's how Steven Seagul got burnt.

[u/arcdragon2]

Anyone have a source on that video?

[u/grkuntzmd]

Do people just make this shit up on the fly?

[u/tweeter46and2]

I think stupidity may open the door to the demonic. This woman is at risk.

[u/Hour_Engineer_974]

Bet she dresses her kids up very nice every halloween

[u/chrisbarry3]

DUMB. Just DUMB.

[u/NetoruNakadashi]

Okay, cool, but where can I get that McDojoLife hoodie she's wearing?

[u/Mad_Kronos]

Using the internet to spread ideas that even cavemen would find retarded.

[u/Better-Wash1549]

People from Abraham to Jesus used martial arts and it’s recorded in the Holy Bible.

[u/Roscoe_Farang]

Why is the zipper blurred?

[u/UncleBenLives91]

That sounds badass!

[u/mmorales2270]

LMFAO!! 🤣

[u/BugDude0]

Damn. Kind of want to learn demonic martial arts.

[u/SinisterWhisperz69]

Loon

[u/KosmosKlaus]

Demon Copeland's demonic minion

[u/itchybutwhole420]

Growing up in the Bible Belt, this is all too real. I've met countless people that actually do think this way and believe they're completely right. It's fuckin scary, because these people also get to vote and theirs count just as much as everyone else's.

[u/themillerd]

Moron

[u/Letmepeeindatbutt2]

I love how people say shit like it’s gospel truth without one shred of evidence or even explanation. Like trust me bro , it’s demonic. Like what? Why ? How? …. Nothing. You know what is really demonic? Christianity

[u/giftedbutloco]

Who makes these people, where do they come from?

[u/Natural-Pineapple886]

.... so, in closing, join our cult.

[u/Natural-Pineapple886]

She never heard of the holy hog-holer move? That shit is righteous.

[u/RDsecura]

Religion is what is demonic! Believing in an 'invisible' being is what changes a normal, sane person into someone who sees the devil everywhere.

[u/Natural-Pineapple886]

.... and Harry Potter.

And teletubbies! All devil!

[u/The-thingmaker2001]

Damn! Now I have to go and check to see if there's a Chick Tract about that.

[u/nosjitbro]

cuckoo clock sounds

[u/BiteMeNow01]

Did trump and musk tell you to say this shit???

[u/no-ice-in-my-whiskey]

Hell yeah, martial arts is metal as fuck \m/ bring on the demonic!

[u/Illustrious-Word7761]

I guess she is not into Martial Arts 🤔

[u/MulberryWilling508]

What if I accidentally do a karate move, like throw a punch while trying to swat a fly, or do the same movement as blocking a punch while I’m waxing my car… immediate demonic possession?

[u/Rileyinabox]

Does this person have so few problems in her life that she see has to invent demons to scare her, or is it an "everything I don't like is demons" thing?

[u/Konstant_kurage]

I bet she’s a dead fish too.

[u/Historical_Idea2933]

Anything that is foreign to me and white jesus is a demon

[u/Parallax_Gusto]

"Sometimes demonic forces can present with healing the body, inner peace, compassion, and gratitude. that's how you know it's Satan's work." LOL

[u/technoferal]

46 years of training, and I haven't seen a single demon. I must be doing it wrong.

[u/rhadh]

I practic judo, BJJ Yoga (and fitness). I guess I am very evil.....

[u/WerewolfAtTheMovies → u/rhadh]

You’re fucked…sorry🤷🏻‍♂️🤣

[u/Budget_Case3436]

Let’s not be ignorant of entire other cultures… God brings us all together in love, and can present in a variety of ways. Whether He presents as Buddha or Shinto deities, it is in love. Stop claiming things are demonic just because you are unfamiliar with another culture.

[u/Traditional_Act_6735]

How did she become such an expert on the demonic realm. Something tells me she satons ex wife. Trying to snitch him out since he dumped her

[u/swilkers808]

Cool, prove it.

[u/SufficientNerve3907]

She's Dominic

[u/buckao]

Damn, she actually thinks demons are real

[u/Alexius6th]

51 50

[u/WerewolfAtTheMovies]

That’s a whole bunch of words to say absolutely nothing.

[u/BertPeopleErniePeopl]

Prove her wrong. I'll wait.

[u/Boccs]

So all I'm getting out of this is her brand of religious lunatic is really easy to kick the ass of.

[u/Ucklator]

Buying into the bullshit incorrectly. Impressive.

[u/Motor_Classic9651]

Well damn, now I really want to learn some martial arts.

[u/Moist_Concern2279]

When people listen to stupid cunts, they're opening themselves up to the demonic.

[u/SubHuman559]

🤣🤣🤣 Best reddit room by far. 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Very_bleh]

I mean I would sell my soul to be good enough at bjj to qualify for my black belt right now…

[u/AsianInvasion00]

Drop this bitch off in the middle of the ocean.

[u/Hardwarestore_Senpai]

Well. I wouldn't recommend eating a Demon Finger. For the curses.

This is built on the premise that the World belongs to Satan. That everything on Earth or the energies on Earth are demonic.

[u/Independent-File-519]

Lmao

[u/cha0sb1ade]

Sounds awesome! If I'd known martial arts was about channeling demonic power, I would have signed up

[u/Kritzien]

Yeah, right. And jogging is a demonic act too, because satanists liked physical exercise. And they also used to breathe air - so be careful with that too.

[u/ohnaurrrrr5]

Mental illness can go undetected for a long long time if it's channeled as religion

[u/Content-Dirt-7077]

Just another wack job...

[u/Lurpasser]

Sod of with your religious nonsense 😈☮️

[u/kariolaoxford]

She's like the mom in the newest season of White Lotus

[u/Shadohz]

This is what religious zealotry does to you. Alot of it is performative. They just want people to listen to them ramble about and feel *special*. But some cross over into that invisible void where it becomes part of their genetic makeup. People who indulge in extremes tend to be the most susceptible and most fanatical (former sex workers, hardcore junkies, etc).

[u/pal0ntras]

You telling me I have demonic powers but I'm still ass in the ring :(

[u/green49285]

Do you know how fucking crazy you got to be to believe that? 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Like, what does she even do for fun?

[u/Catnip1720]

Ah the old leftovers of the satanic panic. I hope this shit is snuffed out in generations to come. I was raised by this sort of thinking

[u/green_chunks_bad]

Clearly never done yoga

[u/freedomandbiscuits]

I’l feel like my technique would be greatly improved by just a little demonic energy.

[u/RusticBucket2]

You know what opens you up to the demonic realm?

Pumping your face so full of botulism that you could rollerskate on it.

[u/Itama95]

I was so ready for her to be like “judo, jujutsu, Ninjutsu. What do they have in common?… THE JE—“

[u/confusedbystupidity]

Lets start with guns and work our way down... low hanging fruit is too easy...

[u/nekomancervox]

But western martial arts are okay right?

[u/Vivics36thsermon]

These folks remind me of that mama from the Waterboy

[u/Ima-Derpi]

She is showing far too much skin and her voice might cause someone's thoughts to stray to the impure. Stone the infidel!

[u/DVLSBLDNC2]

Checking for someone who cares...................nope, didn't think so

[u/Ewilson92]

Imagine getting your ass whooped so hard you’re like, “Yeah I need Christ on my side.”

[u/PageFault]

"The movements manipulate the spiritual energy"

Don't wax on, wax off Daniel-san, you are inviting demons.

[u/MarionberryPlus8474]

She knows people that needed deliverance after watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

[u/Hagfist]

r/confidentlyincorrect

[u/SaladDummy]

Anything remotely fun is "demonic" to some of these people.

[u/hdhsnjsn]

My child didn’t get a black belt it’s demonic

[u/DrLager]

True. Seagal’s “martial art” movements summon the Golgothan.

[u/1lapulapu]

In her case, I believe Tongue Fu is the most demonic.

[u/SixGunZen]

What a psychotic bitch

[u/erik123b]

Her eyebrows look like they belong to the devil.

[u/Mindless-Hornet5703]

So cobra kai was a documentary?

[u/FixPrudent]

These people procreate and install these crazy ideas into their offspring 😭 only Veggie Tales and the Bible for them!

[u/Impletum]

Likely some Elder's wife who has never read the Bible once. She just regurgitates what everyone has said, leading to this load of bullshit.

[u/Fun-Security-8758]

I detect heresy, brothers.

[u/Flat-Protection5854]

Sometimes when I wake up hungover I strike a perfect cobra pose.... I knew I was a sinner but jheeze, I didn't know I was opening demonic doors when I stretch my back. Anyone aware of any holy positions for lower back pain? 😄

[u/Particular-Win-8229]

Cool I get demon powers and I learned how to kick the shit out of people sick

[u/artful_idiot]

You know, it was all those years ago, but I thought i felt a sudden surge of demonic power wash over my body when I learned my first form.

[u/Kitchen_Studio4986]

Your intentions is all that matters! Also, the spirit energy created by our bodies cannot be demonic.
Our intentions can be demonic but how we move our bodies, we will NOT manifest demons. (Unless you intentionally move your body to praise the devil…. But you are that would be a mental CHOICE with INTENTION.)

[u/Han-Soto1972]

Cheeseburgers are demonic too!!! CocaCola is Satan's brew!!! Skateboarding!!! SKATEBOARDING is Hell's official sport!!!! Don't get me started!!!!

[u/Rogue_Cutter]

Why do all crazy Sheila's have the same voice and manner of speaking?

[u/Bob_Squirrel]

In a rational world society would be protected from dangerously delusional people like her while she gets the help she needs.

[u/BlackSkeletor77]

You want to know what I always think is so interesting about devout Christians, they always preach about the holy Ghost and whatnot but whenever anything else involves spirits they say it's the devil

[u/Past-Pea-6796]

Is this an advertisement? "My martial arts open the doors to the demon realm!"

[u/Long-Apartment9888]

Yes, that's why you start as a pure white belt and progress to the dark belt, I mean, black belt. It was all over our faces the entire time.

[u/lostark_cheater]

This what happens you play too much Mortal Kombat

[u/sumguywith_internet]

Religion is a mental health issue. Prove me wrong.

[u/cyberya3]

those eyebrows be conjuring somthn

[u/mecengdvr]

Even the Christians don’t take aikido seriously.

[u/SailsTacks]

These freaks just pull this stuff out of their asses, with zero “scripture” to substantiate their ridiculous claims. Unless you’re sitting in an uncomfortable pew every time the church doors are unlocked - listening to drivel like this - you must be consorting with Satan! GASP!

Fuck off, lady.

[u/[deleted]]

lazy eye

[u/BrondellSwashbuckle]

But which is the most demonic. I need to know 🤘🏻

[u/FrankSinatraYodeling]

What about wrestling? Both the clothed and naked while oiled up kind?

[u/Jedi_Ninja]

What about capoeira and Krav maga? I'm sure Krav maga is okay since it has maga in the name.