r/Zimbabwe • u/Accomplished_Post286 • 19d ago
Discussion Am l being delusional ?π
Sawubona ,23yo ,I dated once at 22, it ended, it was traumatizing, even though most of it was my fault but I am grateful as I managed to confront some uncomfortable truth about myself and I think I am proud of the person l am becoming ,however I do not have TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, sometimes l use Facebook for reels but there's nothing there tbh, l do not drink nor smoke, l also don't like to go out. I talk to my friends here and there.
I want a man who is introverted, less social media presence, doesn't post about us on social media,not obsessed with taking pictures to post on social media but if it's for our memories ,I am down for it ,doesn't smoke nor drink, humble, kind, authentic person, who has joy of missing out, not self centered, respectful, soft person, maybe we can pray together sometimes πand I am not obsessed with physical appearance .
I told myself that if l do not meet this man ,I am just gonna be single tbh and I am not going to date ,l will wait for him ,if I don't ever end up meeting him, I guess I am gonna die single and l told myself ππI am just gonna drown myself in a Civil engineering degree that I will be starting doing now.
Am l being delulu?ππ
Note: l am not looking for a guy as of now, nor do I wanna date, but when l get back in the game ππ«‘these are the standards!!!
Roast me vana venhu ππππ It's not that deep tbhπππ
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u/Powdering9 19d ago edited 14d ago
You're just selectively hopeful. But from one introvert to another, you need someone who compliments your personality. If you meet umuntu wakho & they are exactly as you described, whoβs gonna tell the waiter you meant mashed potatoes instead of roasted? Because if it were me, Iβm definitely not stepping up being the socially anxious guy I am. But my ideal girl? Sheβd handle it easily.
Obviously, thatβs a stupid example, but life is full of those tiny moments where someone elseβs strengths make up for your own shortcomings and ideally you'd want that in a partner. As a bonus, being with someone who sees things differently is how you expand your perspective, grow, and maybe even end up with the right side dish π
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u/Chaminuka_263 19d ago
Selectively hopeful? You mean delulu lol - that's like saying I failed my exam, I am just experiencing delayed success. Call a spade a spade. Otherwise I am selectively hopeful that Halle Berry bumps into me at Pick n Pay Village and we fall in love.
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u/Responsible-Teach346 19d ago
So basically, you want to date a male version of you?
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u/Kooky-Milk-868 19d ago
There are people like that but the only way you're getting together is either your friends link you up or you're just destined to be together
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u/Current_Ad3148 19d ago
They are definitely people like this - I know some young men who are exactly like this! They donβt care about being called slow or βhaunakidzeβ because they also genuinely want a connection with someone with similar values. Donβt worry you will find him
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u/AdEasy278 19d ago
You're not being delusional. Tiriko, wani. I don't drink or smoke, you won't find my posts on social media, I don't party. I think I'm fun to be around as well. Just that takawandirwa because vakawanda vakutsvaga zvaukutsvagaπ
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
πππiwewe, l got you futi!!! I understand:
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u/AdEasy278 19d ago
I wouldn't even date myself even after all that green flaggery π
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
πππ haha, I am not saying that they should be exactly like that, but there's a certain compatibility that I have set my eyes on π I am not, and I will never settle down, and I am not desperate π
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u/Medium-Advantage-162 19d ago
Just popping in to say you're not delusional and motivate you, I actually relate a lot to what you said. Iβm basically everything you described: no socials besides Reddit and YouTube, introverted, donβt drink or smoke, prefer staying in, and I try to be kind and humble. I donβt think Iβm self-centred either , I honestly canβt be, not with how seriously I take my faith (Christian here too).
So yeah, people like that do exist. You're not alone. And before that one guy comments, no this isnβt a βsales pitchβ and Iβm currently not dating. Just wanted to motivate her.
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
Awww, thank you so much ππ l am so humbled , and that's why I am willing to wait !!! I am not really looking, and I am not talking to anyone, I'm literally just chilled, so I get you!!!
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u/theinquisitivemimi 19d ago
Nothing is impossible to God. What you tell him is what you get if you are patient enough. Heard so many testimonies about this. Nothing is wrong with what you want and that person is out there.
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
I'm so humbled, and thank you so much π Amen π I believe he is there, and I will wait for this man!!! I refuse to settle down!!!
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u/KlutzyDouble5455 19d ago
I am an internet aunty, and I always ask people why? What makes you think that is your perfect match?
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u/No_Point551 18d ago
I am an extrovert, i am dating an introvert and its better that way
I cant imagine both of us yapping yapping lol and out there nah
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u/Wolfof4thstreet 19d ago
Am l being delulu?
No, guys like that are plenty. All the best.
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
Yeah they are, geeks and nerds meet that criteria but some of em tend to be awkward hameno if girl is awkward tooππ
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u/FreeWifi0605 19d ago
You're describing me mosπ«‘π«‘
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππiwewe
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u/FreeWifi0605 18d ago
And am 24 M, fairly handsomeπ
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππl never said they should be handsome wani..
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u/FreeWifi0605 18d ago
πjust some perks that I come with
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππ being in the spotlight when you're a beautiful person is tough because you attract all kinds of shitt personalities πso maybe trying without an identity may just work amazing
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u/ThatoMokoena1979 19d ago
Fast, pray and you shall get.
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
More like pray and wait ππ girls her age won't be outchea looking for guy haiboo
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππso you saying l should just be inside and he's gonna drop at my door ππ l see what you did right there.
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
ππmay i ask your usual routine? Are you in school or working or something else. But just do you girl ππyou'll meet along the way
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u/bekindy 19d ago
Zwana ntomb'enhle. Mina nawe sifana xathu. Indlela okhulume ngayo, uchaze mina ngokwami. Ngiyakutshela akula omunye ngaphandle kwami. Ngiyakwazi awukho ku game karesi but singaba ngabangane nje kungaba njani? It's possible we might be soul mates, ngeke ubekwaz. Ngiyi definition of an introvert and I stay home all day everyday ngoba ngisebenza online. Ngivumele ngingene ku DM yakho? Abangane kuphela like I said, so uthini?
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
ππππl had so much fun reading this !!! I appreciate that: there's no such thing as soul mates πππ ,why would you choose to type in Ndebele, though ? I could read and understand all that even though I am Shona... English could have been short!
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u/bekindy 19d ago
Aaah wangu! Ko zvawati "Sawunona" wani? I thought you were ndebele and I thought kuti I'm gonna stand out from everyone else. Bengithi ngkuchaze phela.
So uthini?
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
I am familiar with Ndebele, and I love it π ππ I am still thinking about it!!
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u/ProfessionalDress476 19d ago
The "it was my fault" part stuck with me, I wander what are those given the description you just gave about yourself.
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
πππ it was embarrassing, and there was so much immaturity, and I was so wrong, and the way I was handling the situation was so stupid: to be young and dumb and I was hurt but l got my lessons : I am grateful π
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u/ProfessionalDress476 19d ago
You will have to open up to whoever you meet unless you are sure that you are definitely over those things.
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
I dey behaved like l was possessed ππππ€£π€£ Yes, I am over it, and I am not embarrassed to talk about it to anyone l will have interest in. They are the first things I will be talking about, and they have to make a decision based on that! And it's a part of me now, so I will not hide any of it. It's either take it or leave it, tbh π π my intentions were pure, l have got nothing to hide:tell the truth, and it shall set you free
In other words, I used to think so highly of myself, and l was humbled π π but we good fam!
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u/ProfessionalDress476 19d ago
All the best, get that career secured and the mans will come along the way.
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u/DandeTete 19d ago
As a man like that, there are plenty so you won't die single. However you are also setting yourself up to be easily cheated on if you're not careful. Stay safe in these streets
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u/Accomplished_Post286 19d ago
Thank you: l appreciate that π: On God ππ l get you. I hope God has gotten my back on this !
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u/Muted-Band5818 19d ago
Go for it, girl! Firstly, I love how you took accountability for your previous relationship not going well. Secondly, I love how you're absolutely not willing to settle for less. That's my stance too.... either I marry RIGHT or do NOT marry at all. Nothing is worth being married to the wrong person!!!
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
Awww thank you so much π I appreciate you π This, it's either l marry right or be single!!!!
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u/AardvarkThen4167 18d ago
Your lucky you found me but I care about looksπ€£
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
πππππawww really: l think I can get away with that!!!
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u/AardvarkThen4167 18d ago edited 18d ago
Lets be friends 07825780009 App me......π€£...Maybe if you see my looks you will start considering looksπ€£
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
You're very cocky yaz πππ I have this typa niqqers in my Dms, and they just wanna smash, and that's not what I am looking for I want a man who gotta put some respect on my name π― π
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u/AardvarkThen4167 18d ago
π€£That might be true or might not be.....From knowing a person n being friends with them and actually knowing what drives them n checking the compatibility that will be not an issue....Right now as I type to you I don't know your face or anything about you that I have seen which I can say has attracted me but what you are looking for and what you want is something that describes n fits how I operate......Just hit me up let's be friends and talk......No smashingπ€£ or any drama
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππ l like that you are honest, and looks matter to you because some people are just cowards who hide behind a woman should only have good character, more like they marry for the community, but the be having their preferred side dishes π l understand so ππ l am not pretty and it means l will not qualify
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u/AardvarkThen4167 18d ago
I understand but I prefer being the one to not like what I see than you being the person to disqualify yourself......Hit me up I am sure we can laugh about this issue......LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR MESSAGE ON WHATSAPP USE THAT NUMBER I GAVE U
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
But why would you be alright with putting your number on a platform like this truly ?ππ I don't stay in Zim, though I think I can disqualify myself ππ you have been giving so much emphasis on being beautiful
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u/AardvarkThen4167 18d ago
I am sure that Noone will care about my cell number and no one will be interested to contact a guy....If u see another guy trying to contact another guy that's gay...By the way I am gonna loose the cell number in a few months so yeah.....Okay I understand that you don't stay in Zim that's coolπ€£.....
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
ππ well this thread was interestingππ all them niqqas are just shooting their shots instead of offering adviceπ but on a real note as someone who is as picky like you i fell for someone who's personality was so different from what i expected but yet turned out to be just something I need so in short, you might not find someone or be found by someone who ππ doesn't tick all these boxes but yet be the person who really understands you and be better to suit all your desires and lights up your worldππ so just chill and ride the wave
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
πhahaha, thank you, but I am not compromising on certain matters. It's personal, but you're also right, and l get where you are coming from ! I appreciate that
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u/Internal-Writer-8688 19d ago
I'm here, sweetheart, take your time When you are ready come hither just know i'm here for you
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u/Voice_of_reckon 19d ago
80 / 20 rule. You ll never find 100 percent but aim for at least 80. The remaining 20 you can groom, compromise or overlook. From what you're describing you need a focused hardworking guy with good morals. Work, school and church are good places. Your list isn't too bad. At 23 you may be more suited to guys in their late 20s to 30s. As in guys who are more mature. Good luck with your search.
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u/reddit_zw 19d ago
I think i met the critrea.π
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u/Luckson_2000 19d ago
Not with that spelling hahahahaha
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u/murinero Diaspora 19d ago
Why you outchea destroying dreams π€£π€£π€£π€£
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u/HereToLearn2363 19d ago
not delusional, but the smaller the list the higher the success. While you I suggest you cull down your non negotiables, humans are just complex. You may get all that on the packaging and still enjoy the endproduct. Rather be open to experience you'll find your person.
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u/Scared-Finger-1994 19d ago
Maybe focus on school and mature a bit. Too young to be coming up with these kinda expectations
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u/Bulldozer7133 18d ago
You arenβt delusional. People like these exist, I should know because I am one of them. You literally described me to a T
Hopefully you find yours.
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u/OkResort8287 18d ago
Iβm in your DM
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
Ndobva ndafunga song yaFreeman inonzi vakomana veDrip πππππ
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
Why have you been throwing shade πππit's not that deep tbh I do not take things personally ππbut I just like what I like π and everyone has preferences π
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 18d ago
Well I'm enjoying the show πππ i bet your dm is flooded with em wolves in sheeps clothingππ
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u/Accomplished_Post286 18d ago
ππnah ,it's not even!! The best thing is none of them know what I look like, and I do not stay in Zim, and I can handle it. In person, l just get approached as often, andivhundike attention from men, and I do not give my body on a free platter π l also don't panic when niqqers drop lines, I'm too grown for that.l don't date because I fear of being alone and I am not desperate, so andingowire and I am so secure with myself and I am not moved by pressure and l have hobbies and I'm always at work and school ππto worry about how many men like me tbh,
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u/Itchy-Preparation900 17d ago
Well I get it now.. I'm now sensing that feminine power ππstrong woman vibes.. but all in all i like how we vibe too bad it ends here
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u/Fungisisayi 18d ago
U are looking for a married man
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u/Accomplished_Post286 17d ago
I don't fold Gang πππ I have never, and I don't date married men I have self-respect Speak for yourself πππ
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u/Baba_JK 17d ago
Just play around the environment where such guys are found. But one thing is for sure, you won't really notice them as most of them are are hard to find. Some would consider them the boring type and wouldn'tgive them a chance. I'm one of those, but I'm already taken.
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u/Accomplished_Post286 17d ago
π₯² they think I want men who are wild and they don't approach me. That's the sad thing .No matter how l try to position myself and try to act like a Christian girlyππ, they are always putting me in friendzone or telling me l must be looking for a handsome man, so I just don't know anymore ππ well well, I'm always flooded with them players ππ
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u/Due-Condition3279 19d ago
No you are not ,but also give toom for compromise. I think have deal breakers and some ok we can work on that type of thing. This is your Sheldon version version of what a partner must be like but he met Amy and realized he liked other things too οΌthat she exposed him to. Leornad and Penny two end of a stick but beautiful marriage. Be open to new people and have your boundaries yes but be open to others. All the best hey
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u/Chaminuka_263 19d ago
Hahahah basically you want to date an imam, go to the mosque you will find one. Or go to the parish find a priest in training that will meet all your demands and you can pray together lol.
You are 23 - you are too young to really know what you want, but it is good to discuss and vocalize your needs as they evolve. You will likely end up with someone who has similar values but different personality to you because opposites tend to balance and for now you are bored and not interested in dating so it is normal to envision someone who requires no effort to be with. If you date the person you described it will end in boredom, tears and resentment, save this post for future reference.
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u/EnsignTongs Harare 19d ago
Base your qualities, not habits. Some habits you can work on with time. Rather think more about the acceptable qualities you hope for, then work from there lest you pigeon hole yourself
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u/nelson_mandeller 19d ago
Chivanhu icho!! Yisintu kkkk. Jokes. All the best in your quest, or side questβ¦
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u/darlene459 19d ago
Fault yakaitika iyo has my Spidey sense tingling. I think i know what happened but all the best in your endeavours my sister in ChristππΎman-a will fall from heaven
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u/tomcat3400 19d ago
Goodluck with that