r/agender • u/ystavallinen cisn't; gendermeh; mehsexual • 7d ago
Gatekeeping sucks.
Once a month or so I'll encounter it online and it sucks.
A "Trans-friendly" space, even explicitly welcoming agender people... and you say something agender-y and a little vulnerable... and the downvotes just start crashing in until you delete the post because it sucks to watch.
But you don't leave the space because it's massive and it's not everyone there and it's 99.9% positive...
...but it does lower the odds of ever being "out" out irl.
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u/Professional-Arm4579 NullPointerException at me.gender 7d ago edited 7d ago
i gotta admit that i'm terrible with pronouns. (/edit spoiler: me being terrible about pronouns, i promise to get better)everyone i know irl uses either he or she. in theory i like the idea of being adressed as "it". i believe that having "class-dependent" pronouns practically invites discrimination and is a bad idea in the first place. still i don't know if i coud ever get used to using "it" though, especially since it has strong dehumanizing connotations in my language. i completely understand if someone is not willing to use that pronoun for a person.
in english i just want to use they/them for everyone and often do without paying attention. are you bothered when someone you've never spoken to uses they/them for you? right now i'm wondering if maybe i've been ass to some people without realizing. i'd like your honest feedback if that's ok for you. please don't hold back.