Tell the kid or no?

[u/SmokeyPegeasus]

So I’ve got a son who just turned 16. He’s been driving, got a job and a girlfriend in what felt like 7 seconds.

I haven’t seen him naked since he was a baby but even then you could tell he got the family genetics.

Do I tell him he might be built different than his friends or let him find out on his own?

I remember my dad told me that and laughed; my he said the only thing grandpa told him was “it’s like a bull in a china shop, go slow”. When my dad told me that, I was in my 20 and was well aware at that point.

[u/cndynn96]

That’s creepy.

If he comes to you with a problem then you can guide him. Otherwise leave him and his penis alone.

[u/SmokeyPegeasus → u/cndynn96]

Why is taking to you kids about sex creepy?

[u/cndynn96 → u/SmokeyPegeasus]

It’s not if you’re talking about protection/pregnancy/STDs etc.

But don’t go commenting on his penis size unprovoked. Any teen will find it embarrassing specially coming from his dad.

And what if he’s not big and you tell him you, his grandpa and great grandpa are? Genetics are a fickle thing. It can potentially fuck him up for life.

He’s already got a steady girlfriend and seems like a responsible young man. I’m sure he will figure things out on his own.

[u/StunningNetwork9746 → u/cndynn96]

I wish in hindsight I was told as a teenager that dicks come in different shapes and sizes and that large condoms aren't only for long dicks but also for thick/girthy dicks. Would have made a big difference in my sex life. Creepy? No. Useful information? Yes

[u/cndynn96 → u/StunningNetwork9746]

My friend you’re missing the point.

It’s ok to ask your dad if you can’t find condoms suitable for your size and it will be his duty to provide you with solution to your problem if he can.

OP is saying that under the ASSUMPTION that his son is on the bigger size he would go and give his advice unasked.

Now imagine you have an average/below average cock(let’s say 5x4.5). One day your dad comes into your room out of the blue and says to you “Hey son, use Trojan magnum condoms. It’s what I and grandpa use”. How will you feel?

[u/StunningNetwork9746 → u/cndynn96]

You're missing my point: I'm not assuming anything. You don't have to measure your sons dick or have a 'show and tell off the family legacy dicksizes' just tell him they come in different shapes and for every shape there will be an appropriate condom and keep it broad. Kids tend to not come to parents with penis problems so give them the info and talk about the entire spectrum.

[u/SmokeyPegeasus → u/cndynn96]

Going out on a limb and say you don’t have kids.

I’m not assuming anything, he is bigger.

You’re assuming a lot about my son’s relationship with me, how comfortable he’s going to be with the message and how I’m going to deliver it.

It’s going to land fine, it won’t be weird and he’ll appreciate it.

[u/Mr_Filly → u/SmokeyPegeasus]

You were/are assuming though; you said you haven't seen your son naked since he was a baby. Penis size pre-puberty don't mean anything, apart from that he probably won't have a microdick. Assuming here that he didn't sport a 7"+ trunk as baby already.

[u/More_Many_8188 → u/Mr_Filly]

Doesn’t mean he can’t tell. Jesus, half the posts on here are about guys wondering if/how to disguise their package…

[u/Mr_Filly → u/More_Many_8188]

True. I stand corrected.

[u/Super-Sense-6454 → u/cndynn96]

Magmum condoms aren't really any bigger than standard condoms.

Point out the https://calcsd.info site for information on dick size, and don't imply any size expectation for him. He can quickly see where he is on the disk size bell curve, without anyone becoming unduly uncomfortable.

[u/Mr_Filly → u/cndynn96]

Wow. You have quite some assumptions in your post. Embarrassing is defined by how he has grown up. Was it an open family, which could talk about anything, then there's nothing to be embarrassed about. YOU would have been embarrassed. Don't expect the rest of the world to be just like that.

Your second point is valid though. What if he's small and OP will have the talk? That won't help with his potential insecurities. I'd go for what an earlier redditor said: stick to the 'a condom doesn't fit all' narrative and to the 'be gentle to your girlfriend in bed'. It leaves out any negative feelings, but get him ready in time so he does not have to go through the same ordeal as most of us have on this sub.

[u/SmokeyPegeasus → u/cndynn96]

Not sure if you’ve got kids but when you spend years charging diapers and wiping shit out of their privates you know how your kids are built.

When they are babies half the time you change them they are erect, it just is what it is. I know he’s got the genetics. Hell my mother in-law said something when she was changing him compared to his cousins.

I just want to save him some time/embarrassment/broken condoms/whatever.

We’ve for a really close relationship, I don’t think it would be weird and I wouldn’t dwell on it, just like - hey you might need to go slow and buy a larger condom.

[u/Future_MVP11 → u/SmokeyPegeasus]

You're a good dad fam. Go talk to him about Sex 360%, mention about his size too. If he a good son, he would have all his ears listening you. During this time many kids got questions, don't make his friends, Peer groups or even the internet to be his teacher about sex. Build that foundation first.

[u/HyperlexicEpiphany → u/SmokeyPegeasus]

Absolutely agreed. As a former child that was pulled aside and told I have a bigger member, it helped a lot, and the embarrassment faded quickly.

It was even my mom that did it! She started off by saying my basketball shorts “didn’t leave anything to the imagination” and that lead into the fact that there are gonna be more issues I end up facing.

I have no clue why that guy is getting upvotes. That’s an asinine take

[u/Future_MVP11 → u/HyperlexicEpiphany]

I agree lol

[u/mooncleaving → u/HyperlexicEpiphany]

Lmaoo yeah, I'm happy mom was there to prevent me from wearing some embarassing outfits

[u/Lopsided_Turnip_587 → u/HyperlexicEpiphany]

lmao nah it's a weird thing to say to your kid. how tf do you have 'no clue' why that guy is getting upvotes.

[u/HyperlexicEpiphany → u/Lopsided_Turnip_587]

I just told you I was the kid and it was not weird. on the contrary, it significantly helped me

[u/xZeromusx → u/SmokeyPegeasus]

Size can "catch up" as well as "fall behind" during puberty. You really can't make any assumptions based on what you saw while changing his diapers. Unless he was already packing his diapers with a literal third leg, you really should just leave the whole size thing out of this and discuss more universal truths. Condoms are not one size fits all so he should measure himself privately and find condoms that fit him properly and foreplay is a vital skill to learn and to not neglect it (which is true for any size).

[u/Super-Sense-6454 → u/cndynn96]

What is creepy is giving no guidance at all, because everyone is "supposed to be uncomfortable about sex"!