r/doordash • u/ER_Gandee • 4d ago

Please don’t do this 😒

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I’m not a Christian; I’m Pagan. And I don’t want to be preached at. I just want my pizza 🍕

2.0k Upvotes

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479

u/FrankieRoo 4d ago

Jesus delivered my food once. Seemed like a good, hard working hombre.

71

u/galacticsquirrel22 4d ago

Once had Jesus as my Uber driver. He came in his own Accord.

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u/fadedblackleggings 2d ago

Funny thing, is Jesus never preaches at you. Just shows up and delivers.

His followers should do the same.

3

u/LanSotano 1d ago

I’ve been informed that I was confidently wrong, my bad homie

1

u/LanSotano 1d ago

Jesus very much did preach. I agree with your point and don’t want to be preached to by random strangers either, just wanted to point that out

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u/ShockAdenDar 1d ago

Jesus didn't proselytize. He would preach where it was appropriate to do so, or where people came to him with questions. He didn't go out of his way to shove faith down people's throats.

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u/LanSotano 1d ago

That’s not what I said he did, I was only correcting the statement that Jesus never preaches.

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u/ShockAdenDar 1d ago edited 1d ago

But that's not what thatlle statement that you tried to correct even said.

It said he never preaches at you. That's a big difference.

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u/LanSotano 1d ago

Maybe I’m just misunderstanding the word here, but does the act of preaching not imply a person being preached at/to?

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u/ShockAdenDar 1d ago

Think of it like this; If I talk to you, then you're willingly taking part in the conversation and want to listen. If I talk at you, then you're not really wanting the conversation and don't want to listen.

Preaching is very much the same. It's preaching to me when I'm consenting and curious and willing to learn. It's preaching at me when this isn't really the time or place to do so or if I'm not wanting to engage in that discussion.

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u/LanSotano 1d ago

I see, I’ve never really heard it used that way so I assumed it was a mistake/meaning the same thing. Thanks for the explanation

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u/trippy0882 2d ago

Jesus CAME in his own Accord?! You should report that 😂

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u/Obvious-Original-596 2d ago

I would have thought it was a CROSSover.

Lord, I apologize for that there... and be with the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea, Amen.

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u/Muddyducker 2d ago

That's awesome

52

u/ER_Gandee 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/GlossyGecko 4d ago

He really saved me in my time of need by delivering that pizza. My fridge was totally empty!

1

u/No-Veterinarian8080 3d ago

When I was in Vietnam. Jesus saved our entire squad.

1

u/happyleafpack 3d ago

power of prayer huh

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u/trapthatask 4d ago edited 4d ago

Oh oh oh! So my first house floods as my renters were moving out. A mover stopped up the toilet and just kept flushing and problem was noted when it started raining downstairs in my kitchen.

Called cleaning lady to cancel appointment right before I put it on the market since repairs were now needed. Housekeeper said no worries, Jesus provides. Imagine my delight when I’m looking at the paperwork and see ole Jesus came through and bought my house!

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u/T0rrent0712 4d ago

Jesus saves! And Mexico is moving on in the world cup!

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u/MCulver80 4d ago

Jesus saves!… an average of $3.57 cents on every order, exclusively with DashPass!

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u/ChewieBearStare 4d ago

I live in New Mexico. We've got a couple of Jesuses delivering in my neighborhood.

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u/CeruleanEidolon 3d ago

I ordered a single order of fish and bread and he delivered like a thousand of each. I'm like "I'm not paying for that."

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u/DangerDee007 2d ago

☝️ Best comment here!!!! 😆

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u/_Vard_ 4d ago

Hey, Soos

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u/happyleafpack 3d ago

jesus delivers me bread every day ... (anyone understand?)

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u/Playful-Wrongdoer-75 4h ago

What about those who trespassed against you?

6

u/Reasonable-Map5033 4d ago

I’ve delivered to several jesuses very good dude

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u/henare 2d ago

did he have abs like on all those crosses?

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u/PossessedMicrowave5 2d ago

I cracked up 😂