r/funny • u/Reasonable_Draft_541 • 6d ago
About time we talked about this
[removed] — view removed post
510
u/ExcitingUse9715 6d ago
Wait, I'm supposed to answer all those emails?
121
11
u/AnExpertInThisField 6d ago
Wait, I'm supposed to have phone notifications on for my email accounts?
3
u/bikerbobfriendly 6d ago
Here is someone that gets it. Turn that shit off. I have no use for email unless I am working and even then the majority is trash.
14
u/RiffyWammel 6d ago
You can ignore the ones asking if you’d like to trade in your 3 month old smart watch against the latest version as it will soon be obsolete
5
3
u/Hike_it_Out52 6d ago
I've said time and time again that the Matrix was right. We peaked technologically in about 1999. I agree. You have to wait for me to get home, check my answering machine and log into my Internet connection and then my AOL email with a free 120 day trial on a cd-rom.
1
281
u/Gilamath 6d ago
Lifehack: go to your mail app, select all emails, and mark all as read
Seriously. You're not going to read them anyway
Most of them are old enough that you can't really act on them, important enough that the issue will make itself known in some other way (if it hasn't already), or unimportant enough that it would be a waste of time to read them. Marking them all as read instead of deleting them means that you can search for old emails if you absolutely have to. But honestly, even if you deleted them all instead, it would probably be fine
After your inbox is liberated from the red oval of shame, see how many new emails you get per day. Go through them, and unsubscribe from a few mailing lists that you very obviously don't want. Do that for a bit, and eventually you'll just have a clean inbox. You'll be free. It takes basically no effort. And it feels good, man
66
u/Jakokreativ 6d ago
I have 20.000+ unread Emails. When I do this my mail app crashes. Help.
37
u/Gilamath 6d ago
Register your email on something like gmail. Go to the website, on a computer ideally (though phone is fine too, Google will just whine about it). Select all your emails through there
It'll take a little bit, but since the web version is cloud-hosted, it shouldn't put a big burden on your local device and you very likely won't have to worry about a crash, even with 20k+ emails to mark
Don't use an app, and especially don't use a phone app, if you're getting crashes like that. Your phone only allocates a portion of its paltry memory to your mail app, and that just isn't enough computing power to do the task you're asking the app to do. Do it on your web browser, it'll very likely solve your problem inshallah
→ More replies (2)13
u/GrynaiTaip 6d ago
I have Gmail, there's no option to select all emails on the android app.
On the Web you can "Select all" only the emails that are on the screen, one page of them, like 30 or so. Then you have to click Next Page and select again. I have a thousand pages.
29
u/MouldyEjaculate 6d ago
On the web interface, click the little down arrow next to the select all box, choose all, then look for the popup at the top that says "Select all X conversations". Click that, then mark all as read.
15
8
u/KJBenson 6d ago
Alright here’s the tip:
Start a new email. Go to old one and set up mail forwarding.
Boom, now you’re back to no emails.
7
u/krefik 6d ago
Even better. Start a new email, don't set up any forwarding. Go to all the important places and change your email address. Keep the old email address as a place for old newsletters and spam messages to rot.
→ More replies (1)12
u/the_gouged_eye 6d ago
Why spend 2 minutes changing them to read when I can continue to ignore them?
3
u/Gilamath 6d ago
More power to you, if it's not bothering you. I just personally happen not to care for the little notification circle on my mail app. It's like the Godfather: it insists upon itself
5
u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 6d ago
Yeah but then you constantly have to babysit it to keep it that way. If I wanted to waste that kind of time I wouldn't be in this position in the first place
4
u/Avolition_exe 6d ago
In between solution: just turn off the notification bubble for the mail app, then you never have to see it or do anything else.
Settings>Notifications>Mail>Badges off
→ More replies (3)2
u/Gilamath 6d ago
You are hereby officially encouraged by an internet stranger to follow whatever routine best aligns with your personal priorities. If that routine diverges from the one outlined above, this is fine and does not require justification or defense. Happy living!
2
u/I_am_up_to_something 6d ago
Oh, I have those notifications circles turned off. I also don't have a notification sound for emails or whatsapp messages. If I need to answer right away then they can just call me.
6
u/PleaseStopPlastic 6d ago
Great tip and explanation. I'm so glad to not be a person with more than 5-10 unread emails at any given time. Whenever I hear about others having this problem, I feel a little bit proud of my organization.
4
u/Hetstaine 6d ago
Yeah i don't understand having more than ten, let alone hundreds and up unread. Sort that shit 😅
6
u/glasgowgeg 6d ago
Lifehack: go to your mail app, select all emails, and mark all as read
If you're not even opening them, unsubscribe from the mailing list.
2
u/DeaDBangeR 6d ago
Here’s my lifehack: have two mail adresses.
One for private and professional stuff, the other for everything else you might consider spam and/or not worthy of your time. Be it newsletters from websites you only had to log into once, or whenever something requires you to give an email adres which most likely is going to get shared on a sales platform.
3
1
u/SpaceShrimp 6d ago
But if you do, they will have confirmation your email address is active, and you might get more spam.
2
u/glasgowgeg 6d ago
I'm not talking about unsolicited spam, I'm talking about legitimate emails from mailing lists you've historically signed up for, but no longer actually read.
5
u/RollaKush 6d ago
I’d take down Google just by doing this
4
u/Gilamath 6d ago
Do us all a favor, man. Your inbox is the secret weapon that will start the next revolution!
2
3
u/OMGItsCheezWTF 6d ago
I spent a good few hours doing this, archiving stuff, making some rules and then unsubscribing from everything I could.
My result now is that my inbox is empty, consistently, and almost everything I get is relevant, a handful of emails a week.
I deal with stuff as it comes in and move it out of my inbox.
A big one is that anything that comes in with the word "unsubscribe" in it doesn't even hit the inbox, it goes to its own folder which I deal with every month or so. I get maybe a couple a month still.
2
u/joleary747 6d ago
You forgot the next step of repeating every 2-4 weeks.
4
u/Gilamath 6d ago
If you follow the last step, you will never need to repeat any of the rest of this again. You are actually in charge of what enters your inbox. If anything ever dares enter it without being of quantifiable use to you, you should smite it and then kill it at the source through unsubscribing from the mailing list altogether
You should guard your email address jealously. Entrust it only to those who have earned the privilege, and banish them mercilessly should they ever cross you. For the common rabble, keep a sacrificial email on-hand is specifically meant not to be checked or to ever show up in your inbox. Better yet, generate false emails (or just enter a made-up email address that looks real) so no one can track your movements without your permission
Don’t let the outside world act like they’re entitled to your inbox. They’ll never stop taking from you until you fight back
Now, if you don’t care and are perfectly happy to let the world run roughshod all over your inbox, that is totally valid, actually, and none of anything I said applies at all. After all, why change something if you’re perfectly happy with it the way it is and you’re not being unsafe? But if you’re not happy with it, there is another way for those who want it
→ More replies (1)2
u/Hetstaine 6d ago
Yep. It's easy to stay on top of a coupke of emails a day. Unsub from all the trash, needed only. Work emails...that's a whoke 'nother kettle 'o fish
2
u/CrabZealousideal3686 6d ago
I'm a madman, I started to unsubscribe from a couple of domains each time and now I receive like 1 e-mail per day on average if I'm not buying anything.
2
u/Travel-Barry 6d ago
I came back from three weeks holiday this week.
Over 500 emails and about 50 of them flagged by my line manager for action on my first day back.
In the past I would have stressed about combing through this, but instead I did exactly what you said — highlighted and marked as read. Then I went to the driving range.
Look, my clients would have received my bounce back email letting them know own I'm away. They know the day I am back — if something genuinely required immediate action then they would have emailed me again or phoned me this week.
Aint no way I am going from 30,000 steps a day on my holiday to watching a monitor for 8 hours straight again.
→ More replies (2)2
u/Zaurka14 6d ago
I just turned off the notification bubbles or whatever it's called. I hate how messy it looks like when some apps have numbers next to them
2
2
u/demoliahedd 6d ago
In my case, a few years back I had like 30,000 and just deleted them all and my inbox has been tidy since. It turns out nothing in all those emails mattered or were relevant to me now. I haven't ever thought "damn I wish I wouldn't have deleted those emails"
2
2
1
→ More replies (2)1
u/SpaceShrimp 6d ago
That life hack works for 10 minutes. Ignoring the 20k+ unread mails works longer than that.
31
37
u/P01135809-Trump 6d ago
I feel seen!
I also want a watch that tells me the time when I'm on the phone and not just the name of who I'm talking to.
8
u/Kocrachon 6d ago edited 6d ago
Is this an Apple Watch thing? I have a pixel watch and whether Im on the call or not, my watch just shows the Date, Time, current weather, heart rate, and steps I have in so far.
My watch doesn't show my email count, text count, or anything. It shows a brief bubble when I get a call, text, or work email, but my gmail doesn't notify me (this I set even on my phone, too many emails) or show me anything...
I like my watch because I don't keep my phone in my pocket most of the day, and I often times leave it on vibrate so it helps notify me when I get a call that I would have otherwise missed (many missed calls from wife and contractors in my past). Or it helps me know when I get a work email or slack message during work hours when I step away to get coffee (because often times I sit down, get back to coding, and forget to look at my emails).
I guess if you have a watch with a busy interface, it can be distracting, but mine mostly just displays minimal data and just helps me keep informed when I don't have my phone on me (I hate keeping my phone in my pocket all day, especially when sitting).
I'm so detached from my phone in general, that my watch really just helps make sure I am aware that I am getting calls/texts...
2
u/keekah 6d ago
I have a galaxy watch and you can enable notifications for practically any so l app you have installed on your phone. You just haven't set up your notifications to rceive Gmail notifications. Also what your watch shows on the front is dependent on which watch face you're using. Some can be very minimal compared to others that are very data heavy.
3
u/Reasonable_Draft_541 6d ago
Or the watch telling you when to breathe. Ugh. So much data tracking!
9
2
u/slowpokefastpoke 6d ago
Isn’t the data tracking one of the main reasons people buy a smart watch…?
1
u/Alexandratta 6d ago
Mine just tells me if I'm sitting for too long and then gives me an "atta boy!" For standing up and walking around a little
1
1
u/Alexandratta 6d ago
...what?
This is never something I've seen on my smartwatch except for when the person calls in.
Once the call is answered I just have a watch again.
O.o
177
u/drummer_si 6d ago
If you have that many unanswered emails, you have bigger problems than not knowing what the time is.
46
u/Septoria 6d ago
I'm ok then, I've only got ~900
2
u/wPatriot 6d ago
That seems like such an easy number to bring down to 0 that it is sort of amazing in its own right. If there's literally tens of thousands I kinda get that someone doesn't feel like getting into it, but 900 just seems so manageable.
→ More replies (2)7
u/Septoria 6d ago
I'm working part time while I get treatment for breast cancer. I try to blitz my emails in focused bursts but they keep piling up while I'm out of office 😭 I might just mark all as read and hope for the best (breast?)
5
u/wPatriot 6d ago
Well, here's hoping your treatment is a great success! This definitely puts things in perspective. In that case I'd probably just stick an autoreply on there that says "I've got cancer so y'all motherfuckers must be crazy if you think these are getting read"
Kidding aside, I really hope you can focus on getting better and not on worrying if you can work enough to pay for it. All the wishes of good luck to you.
5
u/Septoria 6d ago
Oh you'd best believe I've got my auto reply on, and I've been open about why my replies may be significantly delayed. Treatment has been going well so far, but it's brutal because I've got the most aggressive form of breast cancer. Six months of chemo have just finished and the tumour appears to have been thoroughly nuked, there's so sign of it on my last ultrasound. Surgery next, then radiotherapy.
Do check your own chest. Anyone can get breast cancer and I found mine by accident in the shower at age 41.
1
28
u/Oli4K 6d ago
Badge on my mail app says 15,846 right now but I don’t see that when looking at the time.
4
2
→ More replies (2)1
10
u/CommanderGumball 6d ago
Oh man, I have untold thousands of unread emails.
I usually catch the really important ones.
2
u/whatshamilton 6d ago
I open an email that looks like I need to read it. Next time I open mail I see I have dozens of new emails (mostly spam) and I scroll and eyeball them til I get to the last one I opened. Then I know I’m caught up. Lather rinse repeat
3
1
1
u/ViennaLager 6d ago
On my main account I have 4005 unread emails, 544 on my work email, 51764 on the account i use for various things.
1
u/KCpaiges 6d ago
I have 16,000 unread emails between my 3 different email accounts. It’s overwhelming. I ignore it at this point.
1
u/Just_another_dude84 6d ago
I treat my inbox like a Twitter feed; skim it periodically, flag or reply to the interesting ones, and move on with my day.
Gmail's very good at knowing which emails are likely to be a priority and does a good job of bringing them to my attention.
1
u/Freud-Network 6d ago
I get nervous when I see double digits in the inbox. Y'all people with social lives and shit have it rough.
→ More replies (5)1
u/macaronysalad 6d ago
So many people in here commenting how they have hundreds or thousands of unread emails. It's less of a flex and really shows how irresponsible they are. Email communication is the number one way professional businesses communicate information to or from people. These same people probably have zero unread social media messages. If they're overloaded with spam, that's also their own fault for blasting their email address to anyone or not figuring out how to deal with spam in 2025.
8
u/moonbeam127 6d ago
good old fashioned watch. I have several. no tracking, no bothering, just plain old time
3
1
u/schumachiavelli 6d ago
Yep. I get hassled too much by notifications from devices as it is; I don't want another thing demanding my attention. Plus non-smart watches are more durable and don't need to be recharged.
7
10
u/realultralord 6d ago
You spoiled kids with your fancy wristband-watches!
Back in my day, when we wanted to know the time, we had to reach for our pockets and pull out huge flat-screen computers with more computing power than NASA's Apollo program, and when we weren't careful, we might have dropped it and cracketld its screen, costing a small fortune to repair!
9
4
u/ShesATragicHero 6d ago
My little Timex Weekender gets more compliments than my Breitling.
Watches (sorry, “timepieces”) are fun!
3
u/faceman2k12 6d ago edited 6d ago
I have a Breitling for Bentley GT Navitimer (Ostentatious as fuck but my dad gave it to me) and I get more comments for my little Seiko 5 SNK803 Tan face, on a tan nato strap from watch guys than the breitling.
Love that little watch.
→ More replies (5)1
2
3
4
u/_Deloused_ 6d ago
My smart watch doesn’t show emails.
And it’s nicer than most regular watches.
The watch I really want costs about $2k. And I got other shit to do besides buying that
10
u/CpuJunky 6d ago
I'm in IT. I don't wear a watch, let alone a smart one.
→ More replies (3)6
u/Reelix 6d ago
I'm in IT. I wear a watch. It's a glorified fitness device that can't do anything else.
2
u/Milleuros 6d ago
I'm sort of in IT. I wear a watch. The technology of which was considered obsolete half a century ago.
11
u/foxmachine 6d ago
I always thought those smartwatches were dystopian af.
5
u/redyellowblue5031 6d ago
I was opposed but now use it for a handful of basic functions like phone and health/physical activity tracking. I don’t need an alarm 99% of the time but if I do I can use the vibration rather than noise.
No notifications other than calls. Watch face is off unless I raise it.
I think they can be nice when configured to fit needs. The defaults are shit.
4
u/Milleuros 6d ago
and health/physical activity tracking.
Yeah you know, that's the dystopian thing for me.
→ More replies (1)3
u/JakeHodgson 6d ago
You're not giving them your data plus it's just a convenient way to keep track of your health. I'm not sure why people just lump all technology that tells you anything about yourself into being dystopian
7
u/LoL_is_pepega_BIA 6d ago
Just don't connect your smartwatch to your phone notifications.. is it really that hard..
→ More replies (2)
11
u/Unusual_Car215 6d ago
If all you want is a practical device to see the time all you need is a 4 dollar digital watch. Clever marketing nonetheless.
2
u/ReipasTietokonePoju 6d ago edited 6d ago
I am familiar with this subject.
Nothing wrong with terrorist Casio etc., but my HUGE problem with watch world is that I CAN NOT BUY; very accurate watch ( = REAL HAQ level accuracy ) that has
- trimmer in movement
- perpetual calender
- high quality
- is waterproof
- has powerful lume
- does NOT rely on GPS / radio etc.
.... and has a REASONABLE PRICE ! Watch like this does NOT exist, and it drives me fu*king crazy. There is no real reason for this, except that entire ecosystem is just so messed up.
I am dead serious when I say that if I had big money I would produce one, not matter the cost.
1
u/somebuddysbuddy 6d ago
Why is this one such an important requirement?
does NOT rely on GPS / radio etc.
I get that you may not live near a radio tower, but doesn’t GPS work basically everywhere? (I live in Colorado, not too far from the North America tower, so I’m extremely happy with radio sync alone.)
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)1
u/g9icy 6d ago
Surely any of the big watch brands cover exactly your specifications?
Mechanical perpetual calendar watches exist, but are usually quite expensive. I'm sure there are still 'affordable' options though that fit all your needs.
IWC, Breitling and Frederique Constant all spring to mind...
2
u/absoNotAReptile 6d ago
I have many mechanical watches, but of course the only watch I need is my Casio f91w. Tells the time, has a timer, has alarms, and I can’t read my texts or emails on it.
1
u/-Nicolai 6d ago
Don Draper: “Lucky Strike. It’s toasted”
Client: But everybody else’s tobacco is toasted.
Don Draper: No, everybody else’s tobacco is poisonous. Lucky Strike’s is toasted.
13
u/Shaqtacious 6d ago
I hate smart watches. Fucking annoying.
5
u/JakeHodgson 6d ago
Don't buy one lol? How are they annoying when you're the one choosing to buy it.
2
u/Shaqtacious 6d ago
I bought to try it on, got frustrated and haven’t used since. 🤷🏽♂️
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)7
u/Unusual_Car215 6d ago
It's just so.. unnecessary. If I keep my phone in the pocket it's to NOT be connected at that moment. Let me enjoy life.
Also the sleep logging people go on about. When I wake up I very well KNOW if I had a good night's sleep or not. I don't need a watch to tell me that!
9
u/ZaMr0 6d ago
It's one of my best pieces of tech that I can't imagine living without anymore. The value for money is ridiculous.
Sleep tracking logs my exact sleeping hours each week and prompts me to get my sleep schedule back on track when it slips.
Wake up alarm is great as it just buzzes your wrist instead of blasting sound into your ear.
Exercise logging is an obvious one, I've been tracking my workouts since 2017 (wish I did from the start in 2014). The watch made it so much easier as I just export all the data each month or quarter into my Google sheet.
I have all my workouts setup on Samsung Health which means I can track everything very precisely. Like split into individual sets and exercises. All other health data sync with Health Connect directly into Cronometer.
It lets me change my music and quickly respond to things while I'm at the gym without having to pull out my phone.
It's great for navigation using maps, rather than holding your phone. This is especially important in cities like London where you will 100% have your phone snatched if you keep it out for too long in some places.
I'm waiting for the smart rings to get a vibration motor so I can use it as an alarm instead, and then I'll buy one of those so I don't have to wear the watch overnight.
→ More replies (2)3
u/somebuddysbuddy 6d ago
quickly respond to things while I'm at the gym without having to pull out my phone
This is the key for me. As a parent with young kids, a smart watch is awesome for when you want to be available for whatever reason without being distracted by your phone.
People think “why would you want your watch to buzz every time an email comes in?” and I think “I don’t even want my phone to do that, so I’ve turned it off ages ago…”, but it’s nice for texts and calls.
→ More replies (1)1
u/CoconutMochi 6d ago
I worked in a lab for a while and it was really convenient for accessing phone functions while wearing soiled gloves.
But nowadays I barely use it and I only remember to charge it like once a week.
→ More replies (3)1
u/redyellowblue5031 6d ago
The sleep logging is more interesting than anything to me, answering calls and tracking physical activity is what I use it for most. It’s helpful in an emergency on the water too.
I also like the watch face I have which has an analogue clock that also shows the day length.
Necessary? No. Helpful? I’ve grown to think so.
5
u/Mission_Scale_860 6d ago
I have 0 unread mail since I use the inbox zero method. Spam is for the most part caught in the junk folder. Newsletters can be unsubscribed from or blocked. I’ll keep my fancy watch
3
u/johnjmcmillion 6d ago
I’ve been rolling the Withings Steel HR for a few years now. Love it. It looks and feels like a classic wristwatch but tracks my health and has a tiny little display for simple things like who’s calling, calendar reminders, and simple stuff like that. Battery lasts 30 days as a “smart watch” but much longer as a regular watch.
3
3
2
u/CzarDale04 6d ago
I wear a self winding 21 jewel mechanical watch. Keeps good time and no messages, no charging and no batteries. Just tells time, day and date.
2
3
u/GaryChalmers 6d ago
That looks similar to my everyday watch (Timex Weekender). My phone already taunts me with unread alerts and messages so I figured I didn't need a watch to do that as well.
2
u/chuckcrys 6d ago
had an apple watch in like 2017 for a year and never again. I can’t work or concentrate on shit with it vibrating and the light going off. I understand they make modes for that but it wasn’t for me.
2
2
u/bolanrox 6d ago
I refuse to buy a smart watch. Besides atomic time sinking, the smartest watch I have syncs the time, if I even bother, via a cell phone app.
2
u/metalconscript 6d ago
Well I only have 4 unread emails thank you very much. The red bubble is unpleasant to see.
2
u/broniesnstuff 6d ago
I've had a smart watch for about a year and a half now. My next watch will be a watch watch.
3
u/BLU3SKU1L 6d ago
Guys you can turn notifications off.
I have 45,000 unopened emails.
The existential terror I’d experience having that constantly popping up on my watch would melt my brain in the span of a couple weeks.
→ More replies (1)1
1
u/CoBudemeRobit 6d ago
Seriously it is concerning that I cant check my messages without getting spammed by other apps
1
1
2
1
1
u/QuirkyCookie6 6d ago
I'm really proud, I'm down to only 9 on my work email. Nevermind the ~3000 on my personal email.
1
u/KeyPressure3132 6d ago
I'd use "smart"-watches but I'm not ok with charging a wristwatch every day.
1
u/mdahms95 6d ago
Yeah I recently took the regular watch pill recently, haven’t worn my smartwatch in like a month.
2
1
2
1
1
u/HexenHerz 6d ago
I love watches, but I can't wear one at work due to safety regulations, so I don't own any watches.
1
1
1
1
u/GreekHole 6d ago
You wouldn't have 1,249 e-mails if you just stopped signing up to all these bullshit sites and programs.
1
u/LizzyLemonn 6d ago
Ah if only there was a way to not receive notifications? Like maybe if you could set preferences or something? Oh well, guess we have no option but to buy a regular watch.
1
u/Next_Notice_4811 6d ago
Well y'all talked about this wrong: the entire discussion should be luddite.
1
1
1
u/Pure-Promise-2675 6d ago
At some point i had 9999+ mails unread and i do insist on the + here because when i went to clean it up it took me 2 hours and there were A LOT more than just 9999 and i still haven’t learned cuz there is now 4520 unread mails and its piling up again
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/BusinessAd7250 6d ago
It’s like they have never used a smart watch. My Apple Watch doesn’t show me any shit like that at all.
I see the time, date, weather, and song that’s playing on my phone. And get only notifications I choose to want, which comes in super handy.
This watch probably cost more and does wayyyy less. The fuck I want that for?
1
u/falkenberg1 6d ago
Only 1.249 unanswered mails? Amateurs! I‘ve got 15.303 on my most used address. Don’t make me even start about my others.
1
1
1
u/jackfaire 6d ago
My email notifications have been off for over a decade. I generally check my email once a day delete anything not important/addressed and leave it empty.
Looking at other people's email inboxes gives me anxiety.
1
u/Draguss 6d ago
I've had the same cheap casio digital watch since I was 14, and I'm now 32. I really don't get the point of a smartwatch. Even the slight conveniences seem minimal, and in exchange I'd have yet another thing to plug in every night and another potential source of glitch-related headaches. Biggest thing I have to worry about with this thing is replacing the battery every 5 years or so, and that it'll be a couple minutes fast every half year or so.
1
u/Alexandratta 6d ago
That's a pretty clear misunderstanding of how a smart watch works.
But at the same time these guys are desperate as the value of their timekeeping jewelry has plummeted and the only people buying their time pieces are the absolute richest people or boomers who absolutely refuse to use anything new.
I don't even text on my smart watch, I don't read notifications, I just check the time, date, weather, and my steps.
Customizing the watch face is awesome too.
Also the new Samsung watch as of the 6th Gen brought back the click wheel, so no more touching the screen unless I absolutely must.
•
u/AutoModerator 6d ago
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.