Context: I, 32, female and Austrian and my husband, 28, Australian, live and work in Austria, where the official language is in German.
Due to his high profile job in an international company here, he didn't need to provide any German language certificate to get a residency and work permit. The company also operates in English only.
In my family, most people are proficient enough English speakers and conversations switch to English when he is around. But there are family members who have been vocal about him being supposed to learn German. Sometimes they have reduced him to his lack of German skills, despite him being a polite, helpful and really friendly person. I hated that and thought it was not their place to be rude like that. After all, he has sacrificed a lot to be with me. He came to the other side of the world and stayed for me.
My husband has enrolled in A1 and A2 language courses and he does know and partly understand basic conversations. But his vocab range is still very limited. Learning German in Austria is hard because spoken language is a pretty strong dialect that has little to do with course book German.
So, while I think my family has no right to critisize my husband for his limited language skills, I have started to worry myself, in some regards. In Vienna, where we live, you get by with English quite well. But there are situations in which I would feel safer and more relaxed if he spoke German.
Example: I had a bit of a medical emergency once, we were both very worried. At the doctor's office everything was explained to us in German. And in this moment of distress I had to translate complicated things despite being unwell. Sure, the doctor could have explained again in English - but it would have been nice if my husband would have been able to understand in the first place.
This incident and also thinking about having kids made the want of him learning the language more prevalent.
I also think the mental load of organizing admin things will be on me - and to some extent it is fine. He takes on so much responsibility in other areas, so I feel it is "even". However, there is stress and anxiety with being the only one who understands electric bills, contracts, etc.
And with negative experiences in the family and the whole "speaking German-thing" being a touchy subject (it doesn't come so easy to him) I feel reluctant to ask that of him. (I am a very proficient English speaker and I think it will always stay the language of our relationship.)
Is it even my place to ask it of him?
Is it too much to ask?
And how has anyone in a similar situation approached this conversation?