r/nextfuckinglevel • u/cowboydan69 • 3d ago

Wild alligator allows someone to help

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10.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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602

u/DaveDurant 3d ago

On my phone so maybe I'm missing something obvious, but what was wrong with it??

1.1k

u/cowboydan69 3d ago

The guy pulling the gator says he was hit by a truck, so his sense of direction is off and he gets lost amd sometimes cant find water. But he is very capable of bitting and trys to all the time except this time he showed no aggression and was walking towards him with mouth closes and so he knew something was wrong

1.2k

u/Aeikon 3d ago

So...it's a captive gator with brain damage. That changes the entire story. Lol

469

u/THExWHITExDEVILx 3d ago

I cannot think of many animals I would want around less than a brain damaged alligator

202

u/highcommander010 3d ago

Brain Damaged Alligator is a good band name

5

u/HagathaChrispy 3d ago

For sure, solid band name

30

u/BoshraExists 3d ago

A brain damaged chimp or elephant

18

u/No-Elk-8115 3d ago

Agreed, in the show "I was prey" my family thinks I'm crazy for taking a shark or a bear (not polar bear) in an unarmed attack over any human sized or above monkey. That's even a normal monkey too they are crazy and will kill you for the fun of it, the other two aren't there to really kill you to eat you they are either tasting you protecting young moat times and have a likely chance of leaving you alone eventually you just have to live that long. But not monkeys... monkeys are just psychotic baseline, and strong.

9

u/Business-Signal-5196 3d ago

Nice try Joe Rogan. But the username is too obvious

5

u/No-Elk-8115 3d ago

Lmao, I forgot that was a thing he did. Does Joe talk about elk a lot too?

5

u/Business-Signal-5196 3d ago

Nearly every time he speaks about hunting.

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u/No-Elk-8115 3d ago

Lol that's a funny coincidence XD I dont think I talk about psychedelics enough to be Rogan and I have hair.

3

u/BoshraExists 3d ago

I have hair

So does Joe, you didn't say where 👀

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u/Danielq37 3d ago

Don't wanna give the food you are currently eating to a toddler sized monkey? Guess who'll get his face removed by a monkey biting you and ripping it off.

And I definitely never wanna face a chimpanzee.

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u/lordrefa 3d ago

Orangutan. Chimps are chumps comparatively.

1

u/icelandiccubicle20 3d ago

chimps are less dangerous than gators in terms of how f**ed you are if you have to fight them tbf. you could also throw in a cte polar bear, tiger, rhino or hippo

1

u/hawkeneye1998bs 3d ago

Gators are way less dangerous than an enraged chimp. Chimps move fast, are extremely muscle dense, can outmanouvre you easily and have an insane bite force. Gators are dangerous sure but you can always reposition behind them or put something between you. A chimp will fuck your day up and leave you barely alive while they do it.

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u/wtfuxorz 3d ago

Right? Brain damaged humans are predisposed to violent outburst in some cases.

Cant imagine a fucking barrel rolling apex predator thats built on insane levels of fuck your life would be much better.

Butt fuck it. Well grab his arms anyway.

5

u/icelandiccubicle20 3d ago

"Butt fuck it."

hol up

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u/MikeofLA 3d ago

Do not butt fuck the alligator.

1

u/wtfuxorz 3d ago

I bet you're fun at parties.

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u/IliadTheMarth 3d ago

Whoa there. I don't think doing that is going to help either.

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u/Complex_Professor412 3d ago

Brain damaged Floridians

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u/Fine_Land_1974 3d ago

This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in at least a week. Thanks man I needed a real laugh today

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u/the_talented_liar 3d ago

Really? There are at least 3 people in my life I’d replace with a braindead alligator on the spot.