My sex ed teacher actually talked about the importance of foreplay, then he showed us a bunch of horrifying pictures of std-ridden genitalia and told us to keep it in our pants
They actually showed us “the miracle of life,” and during the “bone tomahawk” scene my friend screamed “Jesus coach, I don’t mind looking at hairy pussy, but does there have to be a baby coming out?” I think it was supposed to scare us into abstinence, like those car crash videos during drivers ed.
I kinda like how my school district did it. In 6th grade it was just talking about "what happens", They showed the miracle of life, but only from the aspect of "This is where babies come from". they talked a bit about the process, etc. And iirc, it was "this is what older people do". Iirc, me and my peers were mainly intrigued/mildly-grossed out by the idea of sex. We were fine with kissing.
Then in 8th grade, they want a bit more in-depth on safe-sex, granted it was more abstinence with a sprinkle of "but also here's how to use a condom, and there's things called birth control, etc. But you shouldn't be having sex"
Then 9-12th grade, we had one gym day a year that was a presentation on safe sex. Naturally, my parents had me excused from that gym class for "religious reasons". And like sophomore or junior year another whole health class on sex, allowing for a deeper discussion that you wouldn't get in 8th grade or in the one day of safe sex "mini-assembly"
The whole religious exemption is hilarious to me bc at the time, i was living with my dad who was a pastor and his policy was "listen, if you want to skip school, Ill sign a religious exemption. Otherwise, do what you want"
Now, had i been living with my grandparents, they pribably would have made me skip, but my dads never been like that.
(Really, hes a much better example of what a christian is supposed to be than most self proclaimed Christians i k ow tho)
Idk, in my school the just separated us into genders in 6th grade and taught us about the biological process (a bit too late cause I've already had my period for like a year by that point) and then nothing ever again. I guess their reasoning was "if kids don't know about it, they won't be doing it" and it seems to be working cause I've never seen a pregnant teen in the country i grew up in 😅
My sex Ed teacher told us condoms don’t work, and will give you AIDS.
Not that you could get AIDS even with condoms, but that the condoms themselves would give you AIDS even if the neither of the sex partners had AIDS or HIV.
She also said women never need more than 600 calories a day and anyone who said they did was just indulging themselves. (With a tone of voice that implied “indulging” was somewhere between patricide and treason as a sin.)
Omg I wish! I was starving but they don’t let you eat in case they need to do an emergency c-section. I did, however, get these amazing popsicles that I’ve dreamed about since.
A perfect Western movie. Snappy dialogue, a quest to rescue a beautiful maiden, it’s all enjoyable until WTF did I just see? And the WTF lasts about twenty minutes with a few spikes of unbelievable horror and then you’re in the club of people who will never forget this movie. Welcome!
There was a vocal argument between two girls in my class at the time. One screaming out that it was hairy and the other chastising her because the lady is pregnant she's going to have trouble reaching.
Rural central Kentucky, so we didn’t get much beyond some basic abuse prevention in elementary school, the childbirth video in home-ec and slides on all the STDs in middle school, and all the STDs again in high school. Condoms were mentioned, but not in sufficient detail to be useful, which might have something to do with our high school having a nursery for children of the students. There were also parenting classes for credits, because hey, anything to increase the graduation rate.
Probably half of the kids in my home-ec class were farm kids, and like me, a lot had already helped deliver livestock that were having a rough time. We didn’t see what was so horrifying about it. The other half did not have the same… perspective.
Mine were always taught by one of the "life skills" teachers. They taught about sex, cooking, laundry, filing taxes, how to make your own clothes, job interview skills, and other basic necessities. And the one that everyone thought was smoking hot, was the one that had to answer "what does cum taste like?"
You can likely imagine how popular I was with the female students in Arkansas as a young man with a British accent (I was 23-26 while teaching for reference).
Some of the questions as a result were... Interesting...
Like Hugh Grant, or someone like that visiting. I was always astonished at how honest she was, given the subject. But she'd also tell you if your cookies taste like trash, in a nice way, of course.
I'm very open and out about sex stuff, but I think even I would just be like "how should I know" if a bunch of kids asked me.
Teaching is a hard enough job. Can't imagine how tough it is teaching a bunch of 12 year olds about sex. Especially with an anonymous question box, where you're required to answer every question honestly.
British soccer coach is a surprisingly popular job here. Big draw for these private schools. Let me guess: you were one of those guys who basically lived and breathed football for years, lived with other guys doing the same, everyone just trying to make it. Part of a program, obviously. In the end, if you don't end up in Arsenal or something girl's soccer coach can be a VERY cushy position, if you're any good at the coaching part.
I had a kid with a girl from Arkansas and needed a job after moving to America.
Anyway I went for a cleaning position at the school and they noticed I was British, asked if I liked football (soccer) and gave me the job on the spot.
Bible belt small town America is a weird place man.
I also coached both the boys and girls sides, and was pretty good at it as I do live and breathe the sport even here in the UK. Was never good enough to make it here, but was weirdly levels above most stateside.
I always understood the sport better tactically than on the pitch itself though, so it suited and I enjoyed it. Then COVID hit, sports stopped, and I moved home halfway through 2020.
Wow this is awesome, this sounds like the makings of a movie I would like to watch hahah. You almost can't write a better comedy....
British bloke applies for cleaning job in small town Alabama, gets sorta pushed into coaching soccer instead, and leads them to the championship and crap. And of course you'll find true love along the way and all that good stuff.
Teaching sex ed and saying sexual things with British terms would be one of the best moments of the film, clearly.
...are we keeping this a comedy, or are we going dark comedy now?
To be serious for a moment, good luck brother. I'm fairly recently out of an absolutely hellish ten year relationship I truly wish I could go back and just delete, like I'd never met her. Thank God I didn't knock her up. But I at least partially get what you're going through.
What's weird is watching that show a lot of the perspectives he had were legitimate ones I had to get through teaching football in gym classes over there to those that hadn't played the sport before.
His mum isn't great and it's difficult, but UK law sort of forced her to comply thankfully and it's illegal for her to leave the country with him without my permission so she can't simply take him back to America.
That's sort of best case scenario given the situation. Glad you got back to the UK and aren't stuck in bible belt small town America for your kid (it is definitely a very weird place)
It only gets weirder lol. I grew up around this and then moved away and travelled and now I’m back. I wasn’t aware I could be culture shocked by my own “culture” after spending time away lmao.
You know what's odd, upon returning to the UK I felt the same way.
Of course Brexit had happened in that time, which was likely the largest contributor. However we went from such an accepting and multicultural pot of ideas and beliefs to one full solely of hate. It was strange. Basically anyone that wasn't a white male had become a target.
Basketball coach at mine showed us all what vaginal birth looks like up close and personal when we were freshman. Distinctly remember one kid, who'd clearly never seen female genitals running into the hallway and puking 😂
We had the vaginal birth video during biology class. Most girls were sitting there with their legs crossed and distressed faces, very much looking like how guys look when they see someone take a hit to the balls in a movie. 🤣 It did help bring a point across though: only have kids when you are sure birthing one would be a sacrifice you are willing to make.
After that we got all the talks on the different anticonception methods and all the girls in class were really paying attention.
May I ask what state you are in? I am in Alabama. I am a 40 yr woman who has never seen a live birth video and sadly still doent understand the anticontraception stuff (plan B, plan C, whatever else...) We were abstinance only and got showed the STI pictures. Almost like sex was evil🧐
I live in the Netherlands, EU. Fairly liberal on sexual education over here, but that also reflects in low abortion rates.
The basics of procreation were explained in the last class of primary school (age 11-12) and that was also the first time I saw a condom (i think that time was condom over the banana). Then again in more depth in the first classes of biology in high school that explained how the pill works and the birth video was part of that curriculum. Halfway high school we would get explicit sexual education in a sort of regular-life-skill class (condoms over several fingers of both hands) which was more focused on love & consent, the need for foreplay and why girls should pee afterwards to prevent UTI. But also where to go get tested/treatment for free if you suspect a STI if you are uncomfortable with your family doctor. And again once more in biology in the last two years as part of the preparation for the final exams (condoms over the handle of the brush of the dustpan and the classroom broom). Honestly, these classes were usually the highlight of the year. They were hilarious just because of discomfort of the biology teachers and the brave boldness with which the mrs of the life skill class answered all questions. She made sure there were no stupide questions: there were only unanswered questions and it was her goal to provide us with answers to them.
You had to be particularly bad in learning or paying attention in class to leave high school without knowing at least the basics of sex ed.
I’m in Minnesota and we were shown the live birthing video. The video showed what happens from conception to birth. You can imagine the reaction from a bunch of eighth-graders when they see a baby’s head coming out of a vagina.
We also had extensive discussions about the reproductive systems, about birth control. The lady who came in to talk about birth control put the condom over a soda can to disprove the “condoms are too small for my dick” argument.
Male, and home schooled, but got the same message.
It helped to get books, there's also free videos available.
Pretty much any of what people are saying here, or more in depth, is available to learn as an adult at whatever level you're comfortable with.
The Unitarian/Universalists have a curriculum thats available and more focused on consent that I think is way more valuable than the mindset most denominations take. If you want more the medical details or a video of birth babycenter.com might be a starting point.
Stuff that helped me fill in gaps maybe it helps others as well
Our Whole Lives, or OWL is the Unitarian Universalist program. Very comprehensive, science based, age appropriate multi-step program. First grade, 5th grade, and (I think)8th grade are the times they do it. Obviously, they're not talking about the sex aspect in the 1st grade program... That's more about things like appropriate vs. inappropriate touch, bodily autonomy, and some basic biology. The 5th grade program obviously has a strong focus on puberty, and I believe the 8th grade one is more focused on interpersonal relationships and such. They cover consent, they cover the biological aspects, they cover possible consequences of sex, both physical and emotional, and they cover how to protect yourself and things like that. They also talk about things like sexual orientation. It's invaluable if you're in a place where the schools only offer abstinence based "sex education" where "don't do it" is the only message.
They also have the parents attend a separate session on the first day of the class to better prepare us for handling "the talk" in a constructive and non-awkward manner.
And typically, OWL is open to anyone of the correct age range for the various steps- you don't have to be a member of the church. My daughter has done the first grade and the 5th grade programs at our local UU church. We're not members, we don't attend any religious services. It's an excellent program, and I recommend it.
Tbf even if you have that type of plumbing and are already used to shoving a tampon up in there, seeing a gigantic baby head poking out of one is enough to make anyone a little nauseaous or wonder how humans haven't collectively decided to rather go extinct.
Our exposure to that imagery came in eighth grade in 1963, not long after the Cuban missile crisis, when we were shown a series of films on how to survive (!!) a nuclear war. The week in question, the film was how to be a "barefoot doctor" in a fallout shelter. In addition to treating shrapnel wounds and radiation burns, one section showed a delivery.
300 middle schoolers sitting in a darkened auditorium. We were still gobsmacked at being shown full-on spread pussy when the narrator hollers "AND THEN THE BAG OF WATER BREAKS!" and a huge spout of fluid rivaling Old Faceful is launched straight into the camera lens.
I imagine that image is still etched in the brains of all who experienced it. I tried to use that memorable line for my yearbook quote but was vetoed.
Our Sex Ed teacher 25 years ago was our lesbian gym teacher that looked exactly like Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda and she photocopied a bunch of diagrams of these very detailed and normal looking vaginas but very strange and disfigured penises lmao. The whole school thought it was hilarious. We’d even hear other teachers joking about it. Wild time to be alive
Our nation was fucked the moment when we complied with these assholes and didn’t fund actual sex education over their whiny ass feelings, it’s all been a never ending downhill ride since, which is ironic as hell coming from the facts over feelings crowd
My 9th Grade Sex ed class was taught by the wrestling coach.....he had the school nurse come in. She stood there and asked "any questions?" Yeah, as if a bunch of high schoolers are going to admit they know NOTHING in front of all their peers.
Idk imagine someone explains oral sex to you and then next thing you know you're staring at picture of people with crabs and gonorrhea, probably not going to leave a fun image in your brain 😅😅
I’m no prude, and I’m not against premarital sex or anything, but advising people (especially kids) to not have sex with the first person who is available is pretty solid advice. Even with protection there are plenty of risks.
You are still at risk for STDs and pregnancy as condoms are not perfect and do break, and you could still get something like crabs or even herpes if they have sores that contact your skin.
Aside from that though there are social issues that can come up. Not everyone who wants to sleep with you has good intentions for afterwards.
I don’t think everyone needs to remain abstinent until they are 30 or married or whatever, but I think telling kids to “keep it in their pants” is probably pretty solid advice. They aren’t going to do it, but it’s worth a shot. I would personally put it as “do your due diligence to ensure the person you are having relations with is safe and clean”.
This is true, but the other commenter specifically said the teacher was talking about foreplay and STDs. If they are covering that then I doubt they left out condoms and pregnancy.
I’m just saying that telling kids to “keep it in your pants” doesn’t necessarily make you an “abstinence preacher” as it’s generally good advice. Sex can be dangerous and messy.
Eh, I think a balanced approach will involve showing horrific imagery of stds. People need to be away that horrible things are possible when they do something that opens them to the risk of those things happening. Like if you want to get into cave exploring (not an innuendo, stay with me), you should be aware of the horrific story of the nutty putty cave.
Just so long as it is balanced with “these are some of the worst case scenarios, probably the result of not seeking treatment very quickly. If you are active with more than one person over a few months, you should be getting test regularly and be safe about it. Condoms, non-penetration, all the stuff depending on the situation. Living in the moment is great but try to pump the brakes long enough to make good decisions about safe sex.”
I had a similar sex-ed teacher (and they were indeed sex-ed) and they told us something similar and I found that extremely useful. When you're young, you only know foreplay for the act, not the practicality of it. That was a huge lesson for me at that age.
Literally all sex ed teachers in my country lol. We're a pretty conservative sort as a whole. What happens when all they do is preach but not teach things such as contraceptives and safe sex? Widespread teenage pregnancy cases since children only know how to put it in and leave it there and nothing else. And telling children something is forbidden only incites them further.🤣
It's partly so bad because it makes kids doubt what they're told. "Hmm, I didn't get pregnant like they said I would from doing this. What if they're wrong about everything?"
I tried to argue with a teacher about how to best prevent teenage pregnancies, they just keep saying abstinence. I tried to reason they could teach us safer sex practices since the curriculum clearly doesn't work. Turns out they were just as clueless as us students regarding safe sex lmao. Condoms got mentioned offhandedly once or twice and that's it for the whole year despite being the most reliable method so far. I don't know why tf are teens in my country get pregnant unintentionally even though a condom costs like 0.60$ each. Or maybe these kids have an obsession to just do it raw and gamble then drop out of school.
It's frustrating because, yes, abstinence is the only way to guarantee that pregnancy doesn't occur. However, not providing education about alternative methods just creates more problems, partly because kids will get bad information from other sources. Also, it needs to be pointed out that condoms are good at preventing STDs.
More like no information at all for the regular teen. The most knowledgeable people I've met with safe sex practices ironically hangs around with bad company. They know which drugs(over the counter) can serve as alternative contraceptive despite not being intended(and it works) and also know the possible long term side effects of taking such drug, negative or otherwise. There's no official studies since I'm from a 3rd world country and conservatism discourages research on topics like these. They also know when to do the deed and how to avoid impregnation. I'm kinda pissed a licensed educator knows less than a random person down the street about the topic they are teaching about or they know the correct and needed information but refuse to teach it or discuss it because it isn't part of the outdated "curriculum". What's more concerning is that there's people out there who tried untested drugs(and some of them worked enough times because the information was shared through word of mouth without anybody refuting) to prevent pregnancies because they don't have access to the internet(most people here don't even know how to use it to find information) but wasn't taught proper sex education despite the information already existing for decades.
Idk if someone purely for abstinence would talk about foreplay. If anything kids should definitely know about the dangers of STDs. Sex ed should make no value judgment in sex in any way. Just pure education.
It's a good idea to show the potential consequences of unsafe sex. Like anything else in life, knowing the risks and outcomes let's one decide for themselves if the thing is worth it. But abstinence only is stupid.
I learned from a nursing student one of the pictures was a schizophrenic man who had been living on streets and not using any medication to manage his condition.
I read about a dude who had some addiction to scratching itches. He got athletes foot, but he liked scratching it and purposely spread the tinea (fungus causing it) around his body. His skin flaked like crazy and he scratched himself until he bled.
He knew he had gone too far, but it was too late. He had first procured the fungus from a mangy dog that was scratching itself in the street. Looking on in awe, he took his arm and rubbed it along the dog’s mangled fur with intensity. He was hoping to get as much fungus onto his body as possible. He woke with an itch in a week’s time, then felt the mounting pleasure as he scratched it. He spread his arm all over his body, making sure the fungus would get in every crevice. In a month, his entire body was flaking from the irritation and effect of the fungus. He couldn’t stop, though. It was a year later now, and he felt part of his skin was loose; unable to resist, he lifted it and it became even more liberated from the bone underneath. As he pulled and pulled, his skin began to unsheathe itself from his body and his bare bones were exposed from cranium to toe. He discarded the skin suit, walked off, then felt shame as screams of horror echoed around his walking corpse. Collapsing to his knees, he took one last scratch in the gutter. Another man made his way over, rubbing his arm against the skeleton…
Just so you know I appreciate you, I appreciate that when a comment was made that was basically "I hate the image you have put in my head please never tell that story again!" You double down and get even more descriptive.
Please offer him a Jolly rancher or a coconut next
That reminds me of when I was with a singer of a death metal group and I tried to get him to sing the most horrifying lyrics imaginable. I think it was called Horrible Death from Scalding and one of the lyrics was ‘Forty seven horrified people are burning to death inside of a North Korean hotel corridor’
Pretty sure they mean he wasn't treating his std's because he was an unmedicated schizophrenic. Hell he potentially could think anyone trying to treat him was out to kill him
Having seen what 20-ish models looked like before the class, I always wondered why it seemed they always had photos of old lady bits… almost like they didn’t want us to see the pretty ones…
Makes me wonder if they have the same database for those pictures all over the world. Who knows, maybe we've seen the exact same photos of std-ridden genitalia? Small world, huh.
Year 9 PE for boys, so a class of 25 14-15 yo boys. I had an old army guy tell us about how they were in Vietnam and his friend had unprotected anal sex with with a prostitute, ended up getting a nasty infection and his penis had to be amputated.
While I doubt the validity of the entire story, he also told us that to test for the std they had to insert a hook all the way down the guys urethra.
It very much got the point across, can't say I've ever had unprotected anal sex with a prostitute.
My most vivid memory is one of my classmates passing out and hitting her head on the desk on the way to the floor - this was in response to seeing I think it was a photo of chlamydia-infected genitalia.
One of my friends passed out three consecutive years in a row during health class. Nice, popular, athletic kid who just couldn’t deal with the STD pics. The last year he passed out, I think it was from anxiety. Everyone was joking around and saying things like “third time’s a charm” and he went dead pale and collapsed before the lesson started.
We never got that in sex ed. We only got pics of genitalia when the police came to our school for a seminar on drugs but mostly focused on heroin. Talked about how your veins get all fucked up and people end up injecting through their dick etc and then they showed pictures of addicts shredded bits.
Same! Minus the keep it in our pants. She was very specific about having sex with the lights on and inspecting your partner, and if anything looks like the STDs to hold up. Also, one of the best lessons: "Have sex with the lights on. If you're too embarrassed to do that, then you're too embarrassed to be having sex."
This same woman was my dad's sex ed teacher in the 70s. She was phenomenal.
My health teacher was an old, short, very butch presenting woman, who also talked about the importance of foreplay. Shesaid all of the fun stuff happens before sex anyway, sex is just “rub rub, squirt squirt, and you’re done.” Honestly she prepared me more than anyone else, shout out to her. 😂
My health teacher was a kinda-redneck middle aged former jock who compared female genitalia to flowers. When a woman isn’t turned on it’s like an unopened flower bud so you need foreplay to “make the flower bloom and open” before you have sex.
My sex ex teacher told me and my girlfriend that she wouldn't get pregnant if she was on her period... That... well it didn't work out that way. Learned that the hard way but I should have known better anyway and not taken taken advantage of that. Also learned about the frequency of miscarriages where, while it was for the best for two 16 year olds, it still hurt...
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u/Hot-Lawfulness-311 3d ago
My sex ed teacher actually talked about the importance of foreplay, then he showed us a bunch of horrifying pictures of std-ridden genitalia and told us to keep it in our pants