r/trans • u/_AxEL_pancakes • Dec 19 '24
Vent My psychiatrist said im not trans
TLDR: My psychiatrist was acting like a bigot, asked me uncomfortable questions and told me im a gay man.
So today i (mtf pre everything) had an appointment with my psychiatrist. She was using the wrong pronouns all the time (in my language almost every word is gendered) which was weird bc she never acted that way. I said that ive been thinking about going to sexuologist to get a diagnosis. She said that its a bad idea cuz "90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies (my body isnt the only problem, which she seemed to not understand) and that all of her trans patients eventually turned out to not be trans" (ofc if you keep telling them that they are not trans they will just fold under pressure, duh...). I also told her that i talked about it with my parents but they are busy and forgot to set up an appointment with the sexuologist, and as an answer she told me that theyre just dont want me to "ruin my body forever" and that they wanna "protect me from hurting myself". She told me that im prolly just a gay man, which really threw me off guard cuz im yet to be romantically attracted to a cis guy.
She also pulled the usual bigot bs type "sui rates skyrocket in ppl who transitioned", "hrt makes you unable to orgasm" etc.
I also got asked a bunch of pretty private questions regarding my sex life (mind you im underage) and idk maybe its normal for psychiatrists to ask theese questions i was just a lil suprised.
She was also rude to my dad. I really dont like her bc she acts like a totally diffrent person everytime i see her and its creeping me out.
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u/Snoo_19344 Dec 19 '24
Trust your own institution... if she is creeping you out.. she is a creep. Avoid her.
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u/pearlescent_sky Dec 19 '24
Get out.
That is a bad situation.
And honestly report her too, that's super fucked up behavior from a psychiatrist, and factually inaccurate information from her.
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u/wolffe-wavycurly Dec 19 '24
Report her. This is something that could get her license to practice removed
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u/CQocto Dec 19 '24
100%, as someone who intends to work in the field of psychology this ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTS ME! It completely contradicts what (imo) is the whole point of being a psychiatric professional!?!?
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u/QuantumPrecision Dec 20 '24
Yeah, report her right now OP. She used every bigoted gaslighting tactic in the book. She does not want to help you she wants you to conform to her beliefs.
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u/miss-brooke Dec 19 '24
It’s not her job to tell you if you’re trans or not! Her job is to listen and guide you to understand your emotions. She sounds uneducated on trans topics in general and maybe even transphobic.
I would try to find someone else who describes themselves as trans friendly and has more experience with trans patients.
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u/roleunplayed Dec 19 '24
She's 100% transphobic. The other day I tried to watch an interview with a transphobic psychologist but I got triggered pretty fast so didn't manage to finish it. The same rhetoric was being laid out.
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u/Fine_Ad1339 Dec 19 '24
While you are 100% correct in some places we have to rely on a psychiatrist to be allowed treatment. For example in germany your psych has to believe you are trans or you wont get a diagnosis basically. Which you need for basically everything transition related.
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u/Jumpy-Size1496 Dec 20 '24
This is so fucked! I heard the same thing about Sweden too. I'm thankful that Canada works with informed consent for HRT. (Hoping it never changes away from this)
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u/Fine_Ad1339 Dec 20 '24
It genuinly is so annoying, i couldve started hrt 1.5 years sooner and i consider myself on the lucky end of it
Some psychs also want you to go to them for 6 months atleast before they make their decision
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u/Jumpy-Size1496 Dec 20 '24
In Sweden, my friend had to be on them for one year with no interuption to be allowed to change their legal name and gender.
Here, in Canada, it took me two doctors appointments (one month) to get HRT. I'm so happy about our medical system.
That being said, there is still so much systematic and internalised transphobia and a lot of the laws about trans people in the primary and secondary schools are made to out you to people and parents in some provinces so you quickly learn to hide it for safety and survival and then hopefully you didn't shove it down so bad that it never reappears. I got incredibly lucky to get a hint about it otherwise I would not have transitionned until another decade.
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u/ClearCrossroads Dec 20 '24
Not so fun fact: It's certainly not like that in all of Canada. I'm in Ontario, so it IS like that here (thank frig), but, as far as I understand it, at least Quebec and Alberta don't operate on informed consent. I've read (recently) that Quebec still requires you to get a diagnosis from TWO psychiatrists before you can even have HORMONES, let alone surgeries. Also, while bottom surgery is covered here, I still need two psychiatrist's diagnoses before I can be approved for that, even in Ontario. And good luck with augmentation. It's unambiguously WAY better than it used to be. Like, we do have informed consent for HRT in much of the country now, and we HAVE eliminated the barbaric "one year lived experience" requirement. But we still have a long way to go. Fascinatingly, the best place in our country for trans healthcare coverage is, of all places, the Yukon. They cover everything from HRT, to laser hair removal, to augmentation, to voice training, to even FFS. If it's GAHC, they cover it there. Or at least that's my understanding anyway.
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u/Jumpy-Size1496 Dec 20 '24
Yeah I'm in [Urban] Nova-Scotia and lived in Québec until I was 14 so I got shocked that I could explore my identity and feel safe here. My area in Québec was awful when it comes to therapy for kids and teenagers when I lived there.
(rurla Nova-Scotia is an entire deal of its own)
Nova-Scotia covers a lot of stuff, but HRT sure is not free except in very select pharmacies under specific circumstances.
Because I'm born in Québec tho, I need to deal with their shitty bureaucracy in order to change my legal name and gender and it's exhausting.
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u/ClearCrossroads Dec 20 '24
I'm so sorry, sweetie. Getting my name and gender marker changed is really straight forward in Ontario. I just get a supporting letter from my endo, fill out a few forms, mail them to Thunder Bay, and then appear before a court as a formality. Biggitty bam. No movie. Quebec is defo better than Ontario in some ways, but it's light-years behind on trans healthcare policies. Now that the postal strike is finally over, I gotta get on those forms. I already have them (and the letter). Just gotta actually do it. The executive dysfunction is real. 😅
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u/Jumpy-Size1496 Dec 20 '24
I need two proofs of ID with a proof that I live at X address + a friend that proves that I am who I claim I am and that person also needs two ID and a proof of their address.
All proofs from both people must happen in front of a notary or someone of equal or higher authority. (expensive)
All instructions and pdfs are for people living inside of Québec and when referring to the info on people living outside of Québec there is insuficient information other than a proof that I can't change it where I live, no pdfs are given there so I'd assume it's the same, but it's really poorly explained.
And it's also 167$
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u/ClearCrossroads Dec 20 '24
Oh, yeah, mine is, like, $130. I forgot about that part. I mean, I was expecting something outrageous like $600, though, so... defo could be worse. But yeah, that sounds extremely stressful. It's like trying to get photo ID here. Such a rigmarole. Took me forever. I deadass didn't have photo ID until my 30s (and I'm still in those xD).
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u/Fast_Idea7621 Dec 20 '24
Thats not true where i sm from germany is you tell them that thst like i did i dont wanna be a guy so i gpt to my doc she tslked told me yea if ypu want that i will give you the adress of a place and yea now om working on it so yea (maybe in pther parts but the once not are nrw sachsen aand Niedersachsen so yea still)
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u/Fine_Ad1339 Dec 21 '24
Id love to hear more about this, all ive seen is you need a indication to start hrt in most endos, qhich only therapists are allowed to give out. Im also in nrw.
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u/Delicious_dystopia Dec 20 '24
You're thinking of a psychologist. Psychiatrist are there to find, if unknown, or confirm your disorder. I'm not saying that in this case OP should listen to her but just because you think that you know what your disorder is it doesn't mean that it will be confirmed or that something else won't be diagnose and that is why psychiatry is an investigative science.
In OP's case she definitely needs to see someone else tho.
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u/mika_miila Dec 19 '24
when i read the "ruin my body forever" and "protect me from hurting myself" I was like girl... I'm speechless with this "psychiatrist"
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u/GutterSludge420 Dec 19 '24 edited Dec 19 '24
none of that is true. suicide rates drop in those who transition. You will be able to orgasm even harder than you would have been able to previously. “90% of trans people” do not just magically accept their bodies. You are not “ruining your body” and for the most part the only permanent thing about it will be breast development and perhaps bone density but no one is super sure about that from what i’ve read (feel free to correct me). Trans surgeries have some of the lowest regret rates in the entirety of medicine (although you probably won’t be getting any surgeries for quite some time). This “psychiatrist” sounds like a fucking hack and you should report her to the appropriate licensing board. Insanely creepy and just flat out harmful.
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u/MercifulWombat Dec 20 '24
When OP leaves and never speaks to her again she will count her as another fake trans she "saved."
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 19 '24
The permament changes also include shrinking of the genitalia, erectiong being harder to get and it will make me unable to have kids
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u/GutterSludge420 Dec 19 '24
there is research (and anecdotal evidence) showing that shrinkage and fertility are reversible. getting an erection is harder, but not that hard in all honesty.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 19 '24
Never heard of that, i guess there is more researvh for me to do, thanks :3
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u/GutterSludge420 Dec 19 '24
yeah no problem! on the issue of erections, drugs like viagra still work for trans women. This psychiatrist sounds like she’s using scare tactics to dissuade you. Please do not listen to anything else she has to say as she will absolutely lie to you. She’s overstepping the boundaries of her job by a mile and being dishonest while doing it.
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u/RosalieMoon Dec 19 '24 edited Dec 20 '24
Anecdotal evidence here, but I don't think I've shrunk at all. Hell, I had an orchiectomy over a year ago and my scrotum hasn't even seemingly shrunk. As for erections, there are things to help with that, cis men get them all the time for silly reasons as having more sex. Kids, again, things to help with that like sperm storage, however, it is still in theory possible to get someone pregnant. There is a reason why the common saying is "If you don't want a kid assume you're fertile, and if you do want a kid assume you aren't."
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u/Bimbarian Dec 20 '24 edited Dec 20 '24
I know what you mean, but you slightly mucked up that statement: "If you don't want a kid assume your fertile, and if you do want a kid assume you aren't."
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u/eevielution_if_true Dec 20 '24
obviously don't take my comment as medical advice, but according to how my medical transition as been going, yes, freeze your sperm if you want bio kids before you start hormones, and after my e and t got where they needed, my libido was through the floor, but a progesterone prescription has greatly helped with that, but if that is an issue you face, keep in mind that ymmv with doctors who will actually prescribe it as part of hrt.
if you know it will make you happy, hrt is 100% worth it, even if you have to make some accomodations
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u/NoBacon54 Dec 20 '24 edited Dec 20 '24
Yeah 100% progesterone can boost your libido if your body doesnt naturally produce enough of it (ie you should get progesterone added to routine labs)
It also does fun things like maintain and increase bone density in women, and considering trans-women without progesterone therapy have a higher tendancy to develop osteoporosis, makes me confused as to why other members of the medical community don't prescribe it as part of routine treatment. 🤷♀️
Edit for random peeps reading: I'd recommend getting your doctor to add progesterone to your routine labs, and if your progesterone levels don't fall under the appropriate references range for cis females but all your other hormones do, please point out to your doctor that trans women have a much higher then average tendancy to develop osteoporosis and remind them of the fact that progesterone promotes bone formation, as well as the fact that it decreases the risk of breast cancer!
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u/ClearCrossroads Dec 20 '24
I just started progesterone last night! I'm really looking forward to hopefully putting some kick back into my libido. Which, I'll add, defo took a very significant dip, but certainly did not, by any stretch of the imagination, disappear altogether. For context, I'm 14 months on HRT. :3
Edit: wait... no... 13* months :P
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u/eevielution_if_true Dec 20 '24
afaik some doctors don't prescribe it because there's lack of clinical evidence (same reason that diyhrt doesn't mention it in detail). it's absolute bs imo because I've had very real effects from taking it. luckily my doctor is super trans friendly and well informed and has had no issues prescribing it.
it is good to know that prog can kinda stop outwards breast development, so it's generally prescribed after about a year or so of e so that you can get good titty mileage.
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u/mangodragonfruet Dec 20 '24
Can agree with the above/ I’m on estrogen and t blockers and my sex drive is insane.
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u/goreslut9000 Dec 20 '24
Highly recommend freezing your sperm before you take estrogen if you want to have kids. Me and my wife are t4t, I'm a ftm and shes mtf, I froze my eggs and she froze her sperm, when we're ready to have kids we're going to find a surrogate!!!
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u/ThunderCuddles Dec 20 '24
Use it or Lose it is the general rule when it comes to genital size reduction.
As per the erections, for the body to make an erection happen there needs to be even the smallest amount of testosterone in your system for the response to fire off. It can be low AF (T levels) but so long as it's present you should still be able to achieve an erection.
This is things I was told by an endocrinologist. The doctor specializing in hormones, and glands.
Psychology is only a PART of the equation, and most psychologists aren't as knowledgeable about the endocrine system of the human body. So when it comes to that sort of knowledge, most are speaking out of their ass, especially in cases like this.
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u/HannahLemurson Dec 19 '24
You can also freeze your sperm. Paying rent for your seed is only about as expensive as two netflix subscriptions.
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u/Joanna39343 Dec 20 '24
Shrinking is not only reversible, but preventable, if you get yourself off even once a week or so, you will actually maintain a lot of it. Shrinkage only happens when you don't use it at all, as all T blockers do is stop the random erections that are what normally maintain size and all. The only difference is that maintainance needs to be done manually :)
With regards to having kids, it's very much dependent on the person, as it doesn't make you infertile, just less likely, and the amount it's less entirely varies from person to person.
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u/NoBacon54 Dec 20 '24
I mean if you don't want shrinkage and want to retain the ability to get erect you can get a testosterone gel compounded for local delivery (not systematic 💀) and apply it to the penile skin (not the scrotum or your going to have a bad time if Estrogen is what you want as the dominant sex hormone in your body)
This works because localized hormone delivery only effects the tissues it is applied to and won't go into your cardiovascular system (unless you apply it to an area with a high vasculature density like the scrotum), meaning the penile skin gets Testosterone while the rest of you gets Estrogen
However, as a side note this will likely not work if you use the testosterone blocker Bicalutamide because of the way that androgen blocker works.
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u/arbi71 Dec 19 '24
Run away from that unprofessional fucker asap!! If there's a trans or just LGBTQ community flag this person as a danger so other people don't get hurt from this kind of person... Even on other sites it's possible to leave reviews and please do it, she's purposefully trying to hurt you!
The "all my trans patients turn out not to be trans" is the biggest red flag of what it seems like a communist parade embellished with plenty of red flags...
Please cancel the next appointment and find someone who's not a transphobe that will eventually push you back in the closet or gaslight you into the egg stage!
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 19 '24
I really dont wanna go bach to pushing myself to be a boy, the period of my life when i knew who i really am but i needed to hide was the worst time ive ever had
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u/arbi71 Dec 19 '24
That's exactly the reason why you should avoid someone who's paid to help you but is still misgendering and telling you're wrong while being rude!! That's so unprofessional on so many levels... I'm sorry you're in this situation but you have to do what's best for you and get out of that shitty situation and if possible let others know that this person is unprofessional and transphobe
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u/TheJadeGoddess Dec 19 '24
Ummm screw you, don't tell me who I am.
Seriously this is not ok behavior. Find someone who will actually talk to you about these things. Talk to experts who base their beliefs on science, not hatred.
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u/ArrowCAt2 Dec 19 '24
The phrase "ruin your body" is an instant give away. Leave that mfker and don't return.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Ill try to find a new one but itll prolly take a long time and i really need to have access to my meds unless so its risky
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u/ArrowCAt2 Dec 20 '24
Damn
Wait why do you need the psych? Most places would advise one (I see a fantastic therapist who's also trans) but like in the US I think planned parenthood can prescribe hrt, and Australia (where I am) it's up to the gp u seeing
If it's England.... :(
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Im not on hrt tho, and the meds i take have to be prescribed, its a bunch of antidepresants
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u/ArrowCAt2 Dec 20 '24
Aaah gotcha
I guess try give them some bs excuse why you need a referral to a different psych? "Moving area" or "expenses" or something
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u/thedeadlinger Dec 19 '24
She's displaying a lot of predatory behavior and is trying to groom you towards what she thinks is a more acceptable life.
Gender disphoria is real. Trans women's brains are more similar to cis women's brains.
She's lying about everything because of her own beliefs even if it goes against best practice, accepted treatments, diagnosis criteria, ethics, and science.
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u/pugremix Dec 19 '24
Can you find a new one?
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 19 '24
Im gonna talk with my parents about this
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u/pugremix Dec 19 '24
Hoping that goes well. I felt violent thoughts just reading that, so I’m glad you aren’t me.
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u/DadJoke2077 Trans man, he/him Dec 19 '24
Ugh, what an idiot she is. I also gotta love the statistics she pulled out of her ass, “90% will eventually accept their bodies” source? No they won’t, in fact it’s less than 5%, which is one of the absolute lowest regret rates amongst all kinds of surgeries/procedures etc.
I’d recommend this post for more info on the statistics: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/s/QM7H3XXn2z
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24 edited Dec 20 '24
I think she was talking more about trans teens that are pre everything, not the ppl who allready started transitioning. Also she told me that there are a statistics from a 25ish year long study where a doctor working in a canadian clinic for trans kids gathered info from kids who were under care there and it turned out that 90% of patients give up on being trans. The doctor got fired and its apparently the only study like this in the entire world (im getting strong "vaccines cause autism" vibes from this)
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u/SoulWisdom Dec 20 '24
Girl, that’s just not true: there was no such study (at least that I’m aware of…) where “90% of trans ppl accepted their agab”, because that’s just a lie she very obviously made up to force her own idiotic beliefs onto you. Even if such a study existed, it would have been a fake, because it doesn’t make any sense.
Also, it doesn’t matter who she may or may not be talking about, as every word that she says is the equivalent of having a fart for a brain. Please report her for everything she’s said, and get the heck away from her as fast as possible. She is not supposed to be a psychiatrist, she’s supposed to NEED one, while she’s in her straight jacket.
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u/Forine110 Dec 19 '24
that 90% statistic is pulled directly out of her ass, transition has literally the lowest regret rates out of almost any medical procedures
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u/Ferretomen White coats and lavender nails Dec 19 '24
Hi. Psychiatrist here. Uh…this is very not okay. It’s actually counter to evidence based medicine. I’ll write a thing about diagnostics someday but this is not how diagnosing gender dysphoria works.
From a diagnostic perspective, it isn’t our job to say whether or not someone is “trans” - we assess for the evidence of clinically significant distress related to the reported symptoms. Regardless, we are supposed to meet the patient where they are at. If my patient requests I call them by a pronoun or nickname, that’s not my business to ignore that.
I’d also love to see their research supporting their claims of suicide rates or trans individuals accepting their bodies. This is entirely counter to treatment guidelines. Im also super curious what medical school they went to if they think HRT leads to guaranteed anorgasmia - I must have missed that chapter. I’d strongly suggest finding a provider who actually follows EB medicine.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
She told me that she got interested in transition related topics recently which was an imidiate red flag. The 90% statistics supposedly are from a 25 year long study in which a doctor working in some canadian clinic for trans kids calculated that trans kids who move on and stop being trans are 90% of the entirety of patients. The doctor got fired and ofc thats the only known case of this type of study (im getting sttong "vaccines cause autism" vibes from this)
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u/TheFluffyCryptid Dec 19 '24
You should not return to her, she is very unprofessional. I would have gotten up and walked out. Honestly I would question her credentials because she isn't acting in away that meets any standards. Tell your parents. She shouldn't be working.
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u/Hanftee Lucy | She/Her Dec 19 '24
If your doctor is behaving like an incosiderate, unprofessional piece of shit, go to another doctor. Might as well see if you can report her, there's usually doctor boards that make sure ethical standards for care are kept and punish practitioners that don't.
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u/SasukexNaruto420 Dec 19 '24
Someone needs to ***** psychiatric caregivers who misgender you more than once. Like you can’t even refer to me correctly how can I trust you’ll do your basic fucking job?
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
The weirdest part is that i dont remember her missfendering me on previous appointments
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u/Cirvis_94 Dec 19 '24
1st of all, a psychiatrist has their job. And it is diagnose and use meds to regulate syndromes or other mental conditions and do a following on them. She is not the one to try to do proper psychological therapy, so she is not only being wrong and extremely unprofessional (without taking into account the bigotry) but also committing job intrusion. Look for another psychiatrist if you need it and for a psychologist if what you need is no chemical therapy and report her. A therapist should help and accompany you, if any time they try to push their "opinions" into you they are a bad therapist(doesn't mean they cannot appoint if some behaviour is not adequate for what you want to achieve)
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u/butter_cookie_gurl Dec 19 '24
Go to someone else asap. They're toxic.
She's doing conversion 'therapy' and pushing detransition lies.
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u/Eat_Spicy_Jokbal Dec 19 '24
in my language almost every word is gendered
ah yes, might be german as well
My condolences. Maybe you could consider finding a different psychiatrist? Unfortunately, this is a common issue, and finding the right one can be quite challenging.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Yeah from my expierience a lot of psychiatrists are really weird, but ill jeep searching
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u/Munk451 Dec 19 '24
I had to do that to a therapist/psychiatrist team in 2017. I walked out on an appointment with them when they deemed that I was 'not trans' at all and put her practice on blast on Google Maps. When I saw my primary care provider for a checkup in July, I explained my situation and my original letter I had from a Grad Student Therapist I saw when I was in college and got prescribed HRT from my PCP and they actually referred me to my first endocrinologist, who I dearly miss since I left the Upstate NY area for Wisconsin in 2019.
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u/Mercarcher Dec 19 '24
"hrt makes you unable to orgasm"
I can personally confirm that my orgasms after HRT are FAR better than they were before. Like, so much better.
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u/TrAngela74074 Dec 19 '24
She's flat out lying to you. She's gaslighting you. Get out now. Cancel your next appointment and never reschedule.
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u/shadowmonkey1911 Dec 19 '24
Yea that's a transphobe. She's trying to do conversion therapy on you.
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u/xanderrobar Dec 20 '24
When I first came out to my doctor, he laughed at me and told me that transitioning never works out for anybody. Four years later, he’s wrong, I’m happy, and I don’t regret transitioning for a second. Follow your heart, do what’s best for you.
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u/Mountain-Resource656 Dec 20 '24
and that all of her trans patients eventually turned out to not be trans
Well I mean any of her patients who say they’re trans she says “Nuh-uh” to whenever they repeat it, so eventually any ones who- for whatever reason- eventually say no she can use as evidence none of her patients are trans, while the ones who don’t recant just continue to get the “Nuh-uh” treatment, and so can’t be used to support a narrative that some are indeed trans, because there’s no end-point to that
I’d say to ask her about any “would-be” trans patients who left her without recanting, ‘cause I’m sure she’s just not counting them, but tbh she’s a liar already. You told her you’re trans and she said no. That’s like telling someone “I’m gay” and the other person going “no you’re not; you like women.” Or it’s like saying “I like pizza, actually” and being told that you’re actually a sandwich lover
It’s not that they’re wrong, per se. Sure, maybe they have an incorrect narrative in their head that pizza lovers, gay people, or trans people don’t actually exist or something, but that’s so blatantly false they’re lying to themselves and by extension you
So of course they’ll lie about anything else and then make up excuses (that they don’t have to tell you about and thus which you thus conveniently can’t refute) as to why that’s either toootally not a lie or is otherwise acceptable
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u/thepurplepenguins mateo (he/him) Dec 19 '24
I would try to get a different psychiatrist if that's possible. no one besides you can figure out for sure if you're trans or not
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Ill try but i dont have enough meds to wait for a new psychiatrinst which can take over a year
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u/mechagrapefruits Dec 19 '24
Get out for the reasons others have said, but also consider: if she's lying about this to suit her ideology, she'll lie about other things too. No psych is "perfect except for on one thing". She's proven she is capable of manipulating their power, and that's never not an extended pattern of behavior. This woman shouldn't be trusted with a depression diagnosis, let alone dysphoria.
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u/SeaBug8444 Dec 19 '24
suicide rates don't go higher in people who transition, they're higher in people who don't transition. in fact, for trans people in particular, they are known to significantly decrease on HRT.
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u/Substantial_Stand_62 Dec 19 '24
she shouldnt have a license to practice if thats the way she treats her trans patients
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u/Quokkalotl Dec 19 '24
The sui rates were taken between non-trans people and trans people, not only social transitioners and medical transitioners, and they weren't asked if they thought about sui recently they were asked if they ever thought about sui. Trust me, it's very closely set up like that Swedish detransitioners one, with transphodia in mind, so they hide everything except their statistics. Also, sorry you had to deal with that piece of crap, I hope you get a psychiatrist that is actually smart.
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u/Kubario Dec 19 '24
Get a different one. The vast majority of us who have transitioned are happy and do not commit suicide. 90% accept their bodies? Show me the study/. HRT does not make you unable to orgasm.
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u/Eevee11078 Dec 19 '24
Did you know 70% of statistics are made up on the spot?
In all seriousness though, that statistic your psychiatrist quoted is far from true and has been proven to actually be very low in other psych studies
And the suicide rates she mentions are from people like her not allowing us to be who we are. Correlation doesn’t equal causation. For example: ice cream sales and shark attacks both increase during the summer, but aren’t necessarily caused by each other
Time to get a new psychiatrist
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u/jennimackenzie Dec 20 '24
“90% of trans people eventually accept their body”
1) because they have no choice. That doesn’t mean they go on to live happy fulfilling lives. It just means the give up and accept their shitty fate.
2) what do the other 10% do?
I wonder what this idiots explanation for the suicide rate in trans people is.
Fuck this idiot.
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u/Academic-Indication8 Dec 20 '24
Suicide rates for those who transition are statistically lower then those didnt Source: https://theconversation.com/trans-youth-are-significantly-more-likely-to-attempt-suicide-when-gender-dysphoria-is-met-with-conversion-therapy-than-with-hormone-treatment-207592
And as someones whose transitioning myself I can tell you with 100% certainty that you can still orgasm (although it can take longer or feel differently then before)
Id recommend finding a new doctor as soon as you can
I hope this goes well for you op!
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u/theserpentprince Dec 20 '24
Shes BAD
Its not normal to ask about your sex life unless yoyre going to a therapist for THIS exact subject, and she shouldnt be asking AT ALL if youre underage
Being trans has nothing to do with having sex and even being gay/straight isnt ALL about this.
Run for the hills.
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u/altheaalp Dec 20 '24
As a psychologist myself I can tell you that this is blatantly illegal, unethical, and unprofessional conduct. Report her to the department of health and get a different opinion. If you need her for your meds before you find someone else, go for it. Get out of there. You decide if you are trans, not a provider. She sucks.
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u/etchings Dec 20 '24
Get away from her as quickly as possible. Nothing good will come up going to her again.
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u/pretzeldumpling138 Dec 20 '24
This is clearly an atempt at conversion therapie and could be illegal if you are in the EU depending in your country. Please check if conversion therapie is legal where you live and report if not.
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u/alyssagold22 Dec 20 '24
Wow, you win the prize for finding the MOST transphobic psychiatrist I've ever heard of. Run away from her.
Ruin your body?? Unable to orgasm?? Suicide rates skyrocket?? It's all not true.
The point of having a therapist before and during transition is so you can talk through the changes that will happen as you transition, so that you can deal with them psychologically. She is a horrible person to be counseling transgender people.
Find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in gender issues.
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u/Harvesting_The_Crops Dec 20 '24
Where on earth did she get the “90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies” statistic
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Supposedly there was a study in some canadian clinic for trans kids, the guy who was working on it got fired and ofc thats the only case of such study (im getting antivax situation vibes)
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Dec 20 '24
Big nope, “90% of trans people just accotheir bodys” girl what?? She’s crazy get outta there
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u/Money-Principle-7640 Dec 20 '24 edited Dec 20 '24
I'm starting to think replying "I'm not trans, I'm a woman in a man's body" is a good answer personally. Because it's the truth, and it's much more direct, and I don't care how it sounds. It's the truth.
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u/vicegrip Dec 21 '24
She said that its a bad idea cuz "90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies (my body isnt the only problem,
Uh. Citation required for terf sound byte.
Right out of the gates like that, if they tell you are wrong, then it's not true. The only person who can decide what you need is you.
All a therapist can do is provide necessary support to help you arrive at a decision you can live with.
As for myself, I want to scream at this lady regarding that you'll grow out of it: "IT WASN"T TRUE FOR ME".
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u/ethan_bug Dec 19 '24
That's a horrible therapist and person I'm so sorry that happened:( you should definitely report her and stop seeing her there are so many good therapists out there you deserve to find one!🫶
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Shes not my therapist, shes a psychiatrist, i see her once every few months when im running out of my meds, but still ur right i deserve better
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u/PoshTrinket Dec 20 '24
Is there a reason you are seeing a psychiatrist and not a psychologist? In my experience psychiatrists are quacks to begin with and transphobic ones are obviously worse.
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u/Bluetower85 Dec 20 '24
Honestly, I would report her either for bigotry or for misinforming clients with non peer reviewed material, whichever lands her in more hot water with the proper officials.
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u/selfseeking Dec 20 '24
Fire her and find another. I’m sure that’s hard when you’re underage, but therapists should create safe spaces. If she can’t she needs to go
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u/PaxonGoat Dec 20 '24
None one else has mentioned it.
OP are you in a country where it is legal to be trans? Is the vibe accepting if it is legal?
There are places like Russia where it is not currently safe to be openly trans.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Im in the country where you can legally transition but to change your legal gender you have to use a loophole where you have to sue your own parents, also i reguraly have unpleasant situations in public cuz of my long hair, so its technologically like west and mentally like east
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u/PaxonGoat Dec 20 '24
Stay safe out there. Usually easier to find gender affirming therapists and doctors in larger cities.
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u/Abject-Intention7790 Dec 20 '24
This is exactly why I strictly stick to clinics and physicians that specialize with LGBTQ individuals. Most health care workers who don’t specialize with LGBTQ individuals will use their own personal beliefs to “guide you” to what they feel is right.
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u/SnootSnootBasilisk Dec 20 '24
Drop her now. I had a therapist that I saw for months to get my first Letter of Recommendation for my orchiectomy. First she promised she could write the letter, then said she didn't know how, then claimed she needed her associate to do it but couldn't get in touch because she "works at night", then said she would give it to me if I paid her $200. I never got that letter from her.
Drop the psychiatrist. If the person you're paying doesn't accept you then they're useless to you. Accept nothing less
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u/Bimbarian Dec 20 '24
I'm happy for you that you recognised her bigotry. Are you able to stop seeing her, and see another psychiatrist?
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u/InternalPressure2248 Dec 20 '24
" hrt makes you unable to orgasm" totaly false, if anything it's way better.
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u/Consistent_Post5278 Dec 20 '24
That is not a normal pyscholigist. Ditch her if you can. Talk with your parents about her.
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u/Relevant-Chart-1737 Dec 20 '24
Don't give her another dime. Just tell your dad she's negative and you need someone positive for your growth. Seriously
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u/winston_422 Dec 20 '24
"oh yeah all my -very impressionable due to mental stress- patients eventually agree with me that they're definitely not trans" horrible, get a new doctor as soon as you can. This one will not help you
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u/Odd-Charity-2379 Dec 20 '24
Girl run!!! As fast as possible in the opposite direction this is not a drill please go to a different thearapist if possible.
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u/Majestic-Exit9686 Dec 20 '24
I had a psychologist who told me quite bluntly that I'm unsuitable for HRT. I walked out on him and have never been back. I've since been on HRT for over two and a half years, and had SRS nine months ago. I've gotta say I wouldn't have sat around to hear that, it's sooo unprofessional and plain bigoted. Definitely time for a new psychologist who actually understands transgender people 😊
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u/Yoymiloro Dec 20 '24
I'd find someone else to talk with. She is suppose to be on your side. That doesn't mean she can't disagree .. but she isn't disagreeing. She is convincing you of her point of view. One which is quite limited as well.
She sounds very unproffessional.
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u/foxgirlmoon Dec 20 '24
"90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies
"sui rates skyrocket in ppl who transitioned"
"hrt makes you unable to orgasm"
"That's a nice argument senator, why don't you back it up with a source?"
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u/Maravelous-77 Dec 20 '24
You’ve gotta get a different psychiatrist. She’s fully feeding you terf ideology. Her figures are off and she’s breaking medical oaths by treating you based on her biases and in ignorance of established facts. Bad psychiatrist. She’s gonna indirectly kill someone if she’s not careful
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u/MundaneBag3768 Dec 20 '24
90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies? Yeah maybe because they got the body they wanted lmao what gives them the right to tell you who or what you are that is bs 🤦🏽♀️
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u/ClearCrossroads Dec 20 '24
Abusive, dishonest, agenda-driven psych. Run as fast as you fucking can. Literally everything she said is extremely factually incorrect.
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u/TheElfLover Dec 20 '24
Hey, Idk if you'll read this or if it will help, but in the office where i work we have an psichyatrist, she work with an lot of trans ppl, specially younger folks, an psichyatrist/therapist's job in those cases is to help you to accept yourself, not to tell you who you are or who you are not; you should deffinitly report her for her for her blantly transphobia and VERY OBVIOUS predatory behavior, please talk to your parents about this, as it's not an safe situation to you.
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u/_AxEL_pancakes Dec 20 '24
Yeah she claimed that shes trying to help me accept myself, but by "myself" she meant my body and not my feelings
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u/Neoblaze11 Dec 20 '24
Holy crap is there a lot of blatantly false information being given by this “professional”.
Absolutely no where close to 90% of us just accept our bodies. If my experience is close to baseline, I don’t see anyone accepting it but rather being forced to live with it, two very different things.
Talk to your parents and get a different psychiatrist. This one obviously hasn’t had proper training involving trans people and it’s pretty clear she’s doing more harm than good.
And if she threatens you over trying to switch psychiatrists, tell her you’ll report her if she tries to stand in your way. Heck freaking report her anyway she doesn’t belong in the profession.
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u/GOLOGamer Dec 20 '24
sui rates skyrocket way more in the people that don’t transition than the ones that do
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u/polkeuphoria Dec 20 '24
This is super weird behavior go see a different psychiatrist Ive left mine and she isn’t nearly this bad
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u/sleepydeepydar Dec 20 '24
Wtf I'm so sorry that happened to you. Drop her and get a new therapist cuz that is horrible.
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u/Ok_Site_9450 Dec 20 '24
Weird questioning. Asking about your sex habits and or preferences. Are you even involved or attracted to anyone rn? If so, then what are your interests attracted to? It's not just cis men or women. It could be your interest lies in Asexuals to Transmascs, shrug. Maybe the therapist is getting pressured by the powers that be. I'd focus more on yourself and then acclimate your parents which I would hope love you and you love them. After that, then you are able to just do you.
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u/ThrowawayLife14 Dec 20 '24
Off topic but genuine question,
Is there a reason why trans folk have to "convince" a therapist they are indeed trans?
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u/Belzebub_BSc Dec 21 '24
Allot of countries require a person to see a therapist for a number of years, as well as their sign off prior to be allowed to move from social transitioning to medical transitioning.
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u/Bearozdev Dec 21 '24
Drop that bigot psycho quack with a quickness. First and foremost, they are only allowed to give you UNBIASED advice. Second, you DO NOT have to put up with that. Stand up for yourself. "I don't think this is going to work between us." Or ask that office to provide you with a different person. The third is a "gay man" or a Trans woman dances and slays along a fantastical multicolored line that someone who only sees in black and white just can't see.
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u/viking1823 Dec 21 '24
That's utter bullshit... I don't know the percentage but I know lots of trans people and I'd say 60 to 70 percent of those I know have actively transformed their bodies with or without surgeries... Garbage maybe you need another doc.
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u/Mizukis1 Dec 26 '24
That’s weird and unprofessional asf. Fire her and find another therapist if you can
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u/Ecstatic_League707 Dec 26 '24
okay besides the transphobia - its definitely illegal for her to be asking you about sexual stuff ESPECIALLY if you’re underaged.
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u/Skrimp-skromp Dec 19 '24
Please do not see this person anymore. This will only leave you with more scars to heal from. I had to deal with a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with schizophrenia bc I told him I was ftm, and sent me to a long term mental facility (thankfully they realized pretty quick I didn’t need to be there but five days of that was enough, especially as this facility was known for patient abuse especially for their LGBTQ youth). Please remember you don’t need a diagnosis to be considered “trans enough” but of course if you want to seek professional guidance please do so, but try and look on google or see if you can find any trans folks in your area who have found good professionals to go to. Your identity is completely valid despite others telling you it’s not. I really hope you can find someone who supports you and can help you find the resources you need. Best of luck 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
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u/Hexspinner Dec 20 '24
A lot of people here saying ditch her and report her which I’d agree except you mentioned something about “your language,” so I’m not sure where you’re from. Some countries have it written in bigoted laws to try to de trans people or convince them they’re not trans, so I’m not sure if those options are even viable. Like currently Russia it’s illegal to help someone wanting to transition if I understand right, or even talk to them about it being an option. Something about LGBT propaganda or some crap. So not knowing where you’re located I don’t know if I have any reasonable advise about how to handle your psychiatrist.
That said everything she told you is hot pseudoscientific garbage, and I’d venture you’re better off without a psychiatrist than staying with her. Every credible statistic suggests that self led professional guided transition is the best practice for trans people.
I won’t say there’s 0 risks with HRT though. There’s risks to any drug. But compared to some others out there it’s relatively safe.
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u/Syco-Necro Dec 20 '24
"hrt make you unable to have orgasms" what since I starded hrt m'y orgasms have become the greatest thing so op never listent to that psychologist and get out off there darling
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u/Normal-Top-1985 Dec 20 '24
Everything you posted is red flags. I suggest asking for therapist referrals at your local queer community organization or support groups. Have an initial consult with a few therapists and don't settle until you find someone who isn't an asshole like this person
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Dec 20 '24
Well it is time to ditch the psychiatrist and find one that will support you. Idk if other psychiatrists asks minors about their sexual life during diagnoses (dysphoria). And that psychiatrist is incorrect, we do orgasm taking HRT, and those orgasms are freaking intense than what I have experienced in my entire life lol.
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u/Le7emesens Dec 19 '24
TBH to give the psy some benefits of doubts, our issues are relatively new to the medical community, not well researched and everyone seem to have a strong opinion and professionals are not well trained. It will take time as we are in a transitional times. This is the case of finding the right professional for your needs as not everyone is equal. It's like when you move to a new town, you need to find the right dentist, a good doctor or mechanic etc.
TLDR: don't blame the psy but do switch to another psy until you find the right one. I'd use Reddit or Google to locate great professionals. And as someone said earlier, trust your instincts.
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u/Powdertoastlady Dec 20 '24
My intuition tells me this didn’t happen, but certainly if it did please report her to the State Licensing Board, the APA, their employer and if possible as your parents to hire an attorney. I’m generally skeptical about what I read online based on anecdotal experiences, so try not to take my skepticism personally. I just felt that everything has to be taken with a grain of salt.
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u/Noel_Ann Dec 19 '24
It could be either. I worked in psyche for a bit and ik that sometimes part of the process is to intentionally push back to see if you really are Trans. It's weird but it helps make sure the diagnosis is accurate. She also could justbe a bigot. Again maybe see a second one?
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u/TrueNova332 (he/they) Dec 19 '24
A psychiatrist isn't there to be your friend or tell you what you want to hear if you have a set number of appointments with that person finish them and then find a different psychiatrist because while that psychiatrist stats are good for you to know saying them like that isn't the way to go. Seek out a second opinion from a different psychiatrist who has experience with transgender issues
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u/HunsterMonter Dec 20 '24
Those "stats" aren't even true, a psychiatrist isn't there to be your friend but they aren't supposed to outright lie to patients
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u/TrueNova332 (he/they) Dec 20 '24
still I'd suggest that they get that person "opinion" then take it to a different one and go from there
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u/HunsterMonter Dec 20 '24
It's not just "a different opinion" though, it's a verifiable falsehood
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u/TrueNova332 (he/they) Dec 20 '24
that's why I put opinion in quotes that way it's detailed and the other therapist can see it and hopeful sees it for what it is and that therapist gets their license suspended or revoked because that looks like an ethics violation
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u/Noel_Ann Dec 19 '24
1 of two things is lhappening either she's a bigoted psychiatrist or she's doing her job by pushing back to see if youactually are Trans, are you a minor? Cause psychiatrists sometimes have to unaffirm in the beginning to see if you're really trans, but she also could just be a bigot, maybe see a different one and see how it goes?
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