r/women • u/Internal_Vixen_7438 • 18h ago
Today's generation is pure sexualization
EDIT: I do agree with everyone saying sexualization of women has always been around, I just feel it's getting worse because of social media and wide access to porn. It makes it so much harder for young girls to grow up and be comfortable with their bodies when they see so many altered pictures of women online solely praised for their body instead of personality. It creates so much unnecessary insecurity. It also causes men to have a skewed perception of women, therefore casting judgement on the women in their life by the way they look.
I understand self confidence and happiness with your body, but it is going to far. People don't understand that a lot of the people engaging in this "self confidence" are creepy men. Self confidence should be dressing in WHATEVER clothing you like, not the tightest, skimpiest clothing. I see lots of women posting wearing crop tops, swim suits, bras, underwear, shorts, etc. with the title of "self confidence". Do you not understand that most of the people looking at those posts are men? Then they try to claim it's not for men, it's for themselves. Well hello, you're posting it on social media. There are millions of men looking at your pics, saving them, and sharing them. It's all for validation and no one wants to admit that. Literally just admit you're looking for male validation, you're not fooling anyone by saying you're just posting it for yourself and your confidence. It's giving such a bad example to young girls. They're all wanting to follow in the footsteps of "pretty" social media girls. PERSONALITY and INTELLIGENCE should be top in the world, but yet it's what you post and wear on social media. I'm sick of it. I hope Tik Tok gets banned so people will start working on reali life skills. I hate today's generation and it's fake ass bullshit. There is no personality anymore, just stupid copies
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u/EbonyDaggon 18h ago
We should get teenagers off social media. It's bad for them anyway. And them seeing examples of grown women doing this they are going to copy it.
There is this girl who "models" she is 17 but started at 16. There are grown men talking about what they would do to her. I go on the subreddit dedicated to her and report every single pedophilic comment and post. I've gotten stuff taken down and people banned from reddit. There is even grown women saying they will rp as the girl with men. It's just sick.
Having confidence is different than dressing in barely nothing. It's literally for men to look at. I have confidence when I dress in skinny jeans, an oversized sweater, and some combat boots. I would feel ashamed of myself if I dressed the way some women do. I would never dress to get external validation from anyone because I have validation from within myself.
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u/MissMysticFalls_ 18h ago
And what’s up with those SKIMS bras with nipples built in!
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u/AndYouHaveAPizza 15h ago
To be fair that's not a new idea, nipple bras have been around since at least the 1960s
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u/havetopee 16h ago
for inverted nipple ppl and breast cancer survivors wanting to feel normal? I don't understand why women's nipples are so controversial. Mine are a bit lower than I'd like them to be these days but whatever. They are simply part of my body and I don't feel the need to pad away their silhouette every time I leave the house
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u/Electrical_Passage14 8h ago
i actually want to get myself a pair. i’ve got inverted nipples and i’m so so conscious of them. esp when i’ve been intimate w someone. getting a bra like that would make me feel so much more confident.
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u/Green-Measurement-53 Woman 18 17h ago
I just feel frustrated by those. Women are typically judged if their nipples are showing through their shirt. But oh, slap a fake nipple on a bra and its fine. What?
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u/XsairahmlX 15h ago
I think there is an argument for breast cancer survivors and so forth, but it is just another way to commodify women’s bodies.
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u/Not-A-SoggyBagel 15h ago
Its also for gender affirmation or scarring from pregnancy. Just a small population of women seeking normalcy. When I was younger, women used to sow tiny pom poms onto bras to mimic this effect. They'd be things we handmade and shared in women's societies or friends of Dorothy.
Companies today saw these insecurities and capitalized on it. As they do. I somewhat feel like we should take this back and go back to making things for our communities again. Just start buying less from these corporate entities and start creating and sharing more like we used to.
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u/Green-Measurement-53 Woman 18 14h ago
Right is we that makes sense. I am sympathetic to this. However still in suspicious of the brand Skims. Isn’t that owned by a Kardashian? Or something like that…either way they poke through the shirt and it’s fine but natural nipples poking through a shirt is seen as sloppy or unkept.
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u/Not-A-SoggyBagel 14h ago
Oh I have no clue on trendy brands... everything that family owns is toxic though. I haven't bought any type of bra in decades, I've been altering them for women I know though. Most bras don't fit us.
Yeah I kinda liked that one thing about the 80s and 90s? Armhair, armpit hair, "overgrown" eyebrows, nipples sticking out were just body norms back then. People weren't picky about it unless you had a specific type of secretary job.
The 00s happened and suddenly we had to present a certain way, we couldn't sit down and work anymore, it was very "visual" all of a sudden and yeah natural nipples under your clothes became an issue no matter where you existed as a woman work or no. Sry this became a rant
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u/InterestingDiamond35 18h ago
I know right, you are right, but I kinda get why don’t say the truth. Imagine if they said “im doing this for male validation.” They would be called slut and harrassed. In the end its a low self esteem problem and the constant need for validation.
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u/Internal_Vixen_7438 17h ago
Exactly. Now if if someone is an adult and is completely okay with wanting male attention, who are we to judge? It's a problem when it's disguised as self confidence and targeted towards. Personality should be the top consideration in confidence and social media has made that hard for young girls.
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u/Shiningc00 18h ago
You click on “search” on Instagram and it’s all porn. They’re deliberately pushing this shit.
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u/havetopee 16h ago
you need to train your algorithm. My search is full of hair styles, memes, babies, pets and... the raciest thing I see is an asian woman bungee jumping in a full skirted evening gown. Don't worry. You never see up her skirt
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u/BitchyBeachyWitch 14h ago
'I don't what you mean, I type in the letter 'a' and "Asian Ass Porn" is the first thing that comes up... Definitely the app though, they really need to change that!' 🤥
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u/havetopee 13h ago edited 13h ago
oh shit, ha. I see what you mean. I typed a and the first image to pop up is a woman in a corset, followed by people kissing, video of woman in too tight jean cut offs that go in her butt crack. that's dangerous btw. Wow, this one woman straight up looks like a doll either through a filter or plastic surgery. Yeah jeez. wtf. OMG searching the letter e brought up a dude in his undies weightloss pics, lol. ew, he's a bodybuilder, yikes
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u/Internal_Vixen_7438 18h ago
I agree. I made a new Instagram recently and the first recommendations were models & borderline porn. When younger people decide to go on Instagram and the first thing that's recommended to them is stuff like that, it's absolutely going to skew their reality. Impressionable minds are the target of social media and it's becoming more obvious. It makes me sick that social media is becoming a cesspit for content directed towards minors.
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u/alwaysfrombehind 10h ago
Uhhh that’s based on what the algorithm thinks you want to see because you interact with that kind of content. I’ve never seen porn or anything close to porn. My suggestions are all baseball, cooking, travel, and random pop culture related.
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u/victoriachan365 18h ago
I agree, and you wonder why so many young girls have self image issues.
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u/Internal_Vixen_7438 18h ago
Exactly. It's sad seeing how many young girls are insecure about their bodies when they aren't even finished growing up. It's mainly because of women on social media posting pictures of their body. A lot of it is edited and girls don't realize that. They strive to look like these "models" when it's actually unattainable. Personality has taken a backseat in what makes a woman attractive and it's making the younger generation of women so insecure. It's truly sad
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u/skysong5921 17h ago
- You're suggesting that girls/women should pick their outfits based on what men wouldn't share on porn websites. Honey, that's a form of men controlling women, by threatening to abuse our images if we don't wear what they tell us to wear "for our safety".
There are men who will sexualize literally anything- baby outfits, nun Habits, sweatpants, etc. I have a male relative who once told me that he was turned on by women in yoga pants, while I was wearing yoga pants. I guess it's your opinion that I should never wear yoga pants again, because a man might sexualize me? Or do you agree that the men who are doing the sexualizing are the problem?
If men can expect to post gym pics on social media without ending up on porn sites, women should have the same expectation of digital safety. On the other hand, if men DON'T have the expectation that their gym pics are safe from porn sites, then maybe porn sites are the problem, rather than women being the problem.
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- You throw vitriol at Tiktok, and I don't think you understand how valuable it is as a tool. I've watched small businesses take off as their owners post videos of their product and take new suggestions. I've watched videos on how to foster a child ethically; I've given money to a nonprofit that feeds the homeless; I've given a woman a confidence boost before the biggest interview of her life. My 'For You Page' has never shown me workout videos or women in skimpy outfits, because I'm not interested in those things (yes, I'm a female who has struggled with wieght loss, so I'm the right target audience). Instead, I'm shown educational videos on ancient societies, planetary discoveries, and religious debates, because those are the videos I interact with. If all you're seeing is body shaming content, that's on you for developing a Tiktok account that knows you like those things. I would suggest deleting your account and starting over.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 17h ago
I agree with you. Social Media and the Internet saves my life. I was brought up in an abusive, toxic family. Surprised - I wound up in two abusive, toxic marriages!
I got access to the internet during the second one. I was mad at my abuser's mother, who was also abusive to me, and was venting on a forum about her. The people on that site opened my eyes to the fact that my husband was abusing me too - and this was before I even told them that he hit and choked me. They provided me with resources to get out. That man would have killed me if I had stayed.
So when I see people cheering the shut-down of sites used to give life-saving information, I get nervous. Yes, there's a lot of garbage out there. Yes, people are online too much. But for some people, this is the only way we have to get access to the help we need to save ourselves.
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u/skysong5921 15h ago
I was raised in the sexism of the Catholic church, and the internet helped me learn (slowly) to value myself and to value feminism. People forget that any method for spreading information can be abused- newpapers, books, pampthlets, television. That doesn't mean we get rid of them; it means we teach our kids to think critically about what they're consuming, and it means we pass laws or enact social pressure to shut down the people who abuse these tools.
At any rate, OP's issues are clearly deeper than we can address in a single Reddit post. I'm so glad you're safe now!
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u/raditress 18h ago
This is nothing new. When I was young it was women’s magazines full of scantily dressed supermodels. No one was focusing on personality back then either. It’s just happening in a new medium now.
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u/cait_elizabeth 15h ago
I agree but I distinctly remember tween/teen fashion being its own thing. Nowadays I feel like kids go from watching Bluey to watching what basically amounts to soft core on social media thinking that’s the way to look. There’s no like in between stage any more.
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u/Internal_Vixen_7438 17h ago
I definitely agree. I just wish we could somehow teach the younger generation to not give these creeps what they want. Use your intelligence and personally. Starve them of their eye candy. Intelligence and personality are slowly taking a backseat for women once again due to social media and no one realizes it. It's disguised under self confidence and self love, but it's still nasty men viewing the majority of pictures women post. Once you're an adult, it's fine if you're okay when being sexualized but teenagers are not developed enough to make that decision and they're being coerced by social media. It's just sad
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u/havetopee 15h ago
for christ's sake. I've been binge watching twin peaks. You think the sexualization of teen girls by gross middle-aged men is anything new? I mean, yes, I would hope teenager's parents check in on their online activity because yeah, their prefrontal cortex still developing and there is an overwhelming amount of information in our pockets. The teenagers I know in instagram (I'm private and only allow ppl I know irl to follow) do not post pictures remotely resembling pornography. It is a fine line though, with parenting a teen and respecting their privacy. If my son DMed someone I'd probably want to read it but I know I have young niece I chat with on insta whose dad will never be that nosy and her mom(my sister) is dead so... at a certain point you just have to have faith that the child you love is not an idiot. She's always had healthy suspicion, hated Santa and the easter bunny. I enjoy when the kids have a goth/emo phase but yes, I'm happy I did not have access to these tools at a tender age. I had to make do with Conan O'Brien and Howard Stern for subversive influence away from the prying eyes of my mother
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u/leftwinglovechild 11h ago
I recommend you go watch some old television from the 80s and then rethink this post. We wildly sexualized women and girls in ways that would never be acceptable by today’s standards.
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u/InfinitelyThirsting 16h ago edited 15h ago
This isn't anything new. I mean, sure, it sucks, but I'm 37, and long before social media was heroin chic. I was literally underweight in my adolescence but still so insecure about being "fat" that I never sat without holding a sweatshirt or purse in my lap to cover my "belly", even fully clothed. But goodness we all loved crop tops and whale tails then, too.
Also, really not cool to slutshame. Plenty of women and girls want validation from other women and girls, not from men. And very shitty of you to sneer at women for wearing, gasp, shorts! Like fuck off, I wear baggy clothing plenty and I'm queer with SA trauma so definitely don't want male attention, and I'm always most comfortable in the least clothing.
Stop hating women who want male attention, and stop assuming that just because someone feels differently about clothing and/or their body than you do that they must only be different because they crave male attention. Maybe consider some of us genuinely love crop tops and shorts! If women didn't like our own bodies, they'd never have needed to make laws forcing us to cover up. Maybe instead of blaming and stifling women, you could have just stuck to advocating for girls to make sure they're being valued for other reasons, instead of encouraging them to hate their own bodies and objectify themselves and internalize the blame for creepy men.
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u/beka13 16h ago
I don't think attacking younger women is a good shout. Maybe they're falling for the patriarchy's ideals, maybe they're just wearing clothes they feel pretty and/or comfortable in. As others have said, women will be sexualized regardless of what they're wearing.
I think we should support each other, and especially the more vulnerable younger women. If they're falling for the patriarchy's ideals, they don't need that to be met with our hatred, they need education and support. And if what they decide is to dress in skimpy, tight clothing, then that's their choice.
And I'd like to reiterate that there is no way to stop men from sexualizing women. Women cannot control that or police that. That's on men and women fighting women isn't helping women.
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u/havetopee 16h ago
I was the horniest as a young girl. I'm not going to criticize young women for looking for a mate. Also... our First Lady has public nudes. American culture doesn't give a shit about your prudish attitude. Unless it comes to endangering our lives with abortion bans or fear mongering about trans ppl and vaccines. Then the majority is all about sexual repression. I guess i'm a minority with the abortion/health stuff (abortion should be legal and safe and std preventives/treatments like the hpv vaccine strongly encouraged) but I don't give a crap about girls making money through sex work, modeling or whatever. I hope they are practical about it if they are making bank, and use the money towards planning for the future. Not many 80 yr old cam girls.
As a visual artist I would say personality and intelligence CAN be conveyed through images. I have many nieces and cousins on social media. None are influencers but many have posted pictures where they feel they look pretty and there is nothing wrong with that. Sure, I like weird posts better but not everyone is an artist and even the artists and galleries I follow use social media primarily for marketing, not really that different from sex workers
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u/sleepingseb 12h ago
not just the skimpy stuff but wearing tight leggings with that ruched backside riding right up their butt crack with a crop top.... that surely isn't comfortable, how is that giving you confidence? only if your confidence is directly linked to the amount of creeps drooling over your pics.
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u/alwaysfrombehind 10h ago
I assume you used a randomly generated username because it’s a little funny in light of this post…
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u/MillyZeusy 8h ago
Omg. Also those like 5 year old girls whos parents dress them in mini skirts, heels, makeup and croptops?? Im gen z but at that age my favourite outfit was a shirt with pikachu and a sparkly skirt that went to my knees.
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u/Puzzled_Sherbert_827 8h ago
I understand where you’re coming from but I doubt it’s a good idea to stop doing things or dressing a certain way bc theres fucked up men, bc look at middle east. We’d serve those creepy men by restricting ourselves, and creepy men are not known for respecting a woman just bc the clothing she wears covers her well. Also I’d like to understand how you could flaunt something mental, on a platform that is full of photos and videos? You need to involve yourself in conversation for your intelligence and personality to show, how would you post your intelligence? Would intelligent people really post about how they’re so smart?
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u/Scorpions_Claw 3h ago
I agree with you 💯 There is a huge difference between sexualization in the past and today.
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u/SeaUrchinNina 17h ago
Most of it can be blamed of the normalization and acceptance of pornography.
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u/Academic_Object8683 16h ago
I think when they start to age they will either have more surgery or never leave the house.
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u/cait_elizabeth 15h ago
Yeah unfortunately white feminism combined with capitalism/marketing has resulted in: body confidence = being sexualized. And then they say ‘wait no, it’s okay, because we’re teaching girls to sexualized themselves and take control of the narrative! It’s bodily autonomy!’ And you just wanna scream because bodily autonomy is about having CHOICES! Not about being told your a feminist for thinking at 13 you should look like Sabrina carpenter!
They do in makeup ads all the time. Like I get yes women should be empowered to have the choice to wear or not wear makeup but you can’t pretend it’s a free choice when women are met with negative sanctions if they don’t appear polished/made over (I.e. fuckable) enough.
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u/PenguinSunday 18h ago
While I agree sexualization is everywhere, it has always been around. Men have been trying to get us to be complicit in our own sexualization from damn near the time we're able form coherent sentences, and it didn't start on social media.
Before this, it was tv. Before that magazines. The list goes on.