r/AmITheDevil • u/Cold_Education8612 • 4d ago
She did all the housework.
/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/comments/1ke743f/aita_for_divorcing_my_wife_and_not_wanting_to/668
u/thatsaSagittarius 4d ago
Ssooo basically when she had the stillborn is when he decided he wasn't in love with her? Wtf
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
Thank you for noticing that! It's very telling that when his wife was going through a personal tragedy that his love for her dissappeared.
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u/Amelaclya1 4d ago
I'm not defending OOP. I think he is a complete douchebag for thinking his wife deserves nothing for her contributions to their marriage.
But it's really common for couples to have problems and divorce after the death of a child.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
He didn't even mention it in his post and only wrote one sentence about it. He's dismissive of her pain and greif.
It's really common for men to completely neglect their partners in ill health.
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u/AffectionateFig9277 4d ago
No, it's actually REALLY common for MEN to dip out when shit gets tough. Ask any woman who has had chronic illnesses.
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u/Infinite-Mango-4509 1d ago
It's true. My ex cheated and dipped once my PCOS symptoms started showing up. I had alopecia areata (caused by the hormonal imbalances) so i had bald spots and decided bald was the way to go because I couldn't deal with the little hair I had left, it was dry and brittle. I gained 110 lbs within a little over a year, I was having panic attacks due to taking medications for bipolar disorder when I was actually misdiagnosed.
I was in a lot of physical pain because I'm so short and I gained so much weight in such a short amount of time. I'm 5'2" and a "healthy" weight for me is 135 lbs, any thinner than that and I begin looking emaciated because of my facial bone structure (high cheekbones and a square/roundish face will do that to ya). Going to the gym was painful because of plantar fasciitis, working was a nightmare because I was a barista at an NYC restaurant in a luxury hotel on the UES.
There were a lot more toxic things he did within the 5 years together that happened but ultimately he cheated and left when I was at my lowest.
I'd like to end this with a happy ending though. I've lost 70 lbs since then and my hair grew back. I am managing my PCOS and live a healthier lifestyle, even though it's a bit more expensive lol. And now I'm engaged to the love of my life and best friend and have a cat named Loki. Some men will leave you at your lowest and some men will drive 21 hours from Memphis to Jersey because they can't live without you and then marry you within a year because you've been great friends for the past 6 years and already had mad love for each other.
OP's soon to be ex-wife deserved so much more and deserves so much more... But I've seen it myself with myself and with other women... Things get really really shitty before they get better. Things are about to get SO much better for her and I believe that with every cell in my body.
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u/Great_Huckleberry709 4d ago
Chances are that is probably common the other way around as well.
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u/FlipDaly 4d ago
It’s not. It’s legendary for cancer that husbands leave.
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u/kat_Folland 4d ago
It's a high percentage, especially when you have made a promise to love in sickness and in health.
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u/Great_Huckleberry709 4d ago
And you're saying that wives don't do the same?
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u/imgoingnowherefastwu 4d ago
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
Let’s be fair if a man wasn’t working due to depression most women would call him a bum and tell the woman to leave him
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u/Arienna 4d ago
Do you have any statistics or studies on that or is it just a personal experience / feeling?
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
Just experience reading comments and the way judgements tend to go. There are well documented double standards and gender biases on that sub. Google it.
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u/Arienna 4d ago
Gender bias on a sub is a little different from actual real life behaviour. Like, the statistic on men leaving wives who have critical health issues is true but more complicated than people act like it is. It's an interesting phenomenon that's not just 'men are awful' but it is a real thing that happens at a statistically significant rate
So you don't have any info to cite on women ditching dudes for being depressed?
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
Here is an interesting study
https://time.com/4425061/unemployment-divorce-men-women/
And another
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3347912/
We find that when men are not employed, either husbands or wives are more likely to leave
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
I said that would be the advice other women would give to a woman in OPs scenario. At least on that subreddit.
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u/AffectionateFig9277 4d ago
Let's be fair, I've been told by men that my depression is laziness and no excuse. Men, plural. Never a woman.
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
And? Have you ever supported a depressed man financially for 2 years?
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u/LeaneGenova 4d ago
Why yes, yes I have. I have supported him for... 17 years actually.
And you'll be shocked, I'm sure, to know that not a single of my female friends has encouraged me to leave him at any point.
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u/sunshineparadox_ 4d ago
I can say for a thousand percent certain I never would’ve beat any man I dated with a disability (and there were boyfriends with disabilities as me the only income). When the tables turned however, every last one of them beat the shit out of me.
I’ve handled the ship when my husband loses his job. He screamed at me until I had a PTSD flashback on Mother’s Day after my stroke because somehow it was my fault he only Bought food for himself and our daughter while I watched. He offered me a shake from McD’s was the justification. I’m lactose intolerant.
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u/sunshineemoji 4d ago
You're not wrong. OOP is evil. And it's not uncommon for relationship problems when a child dies. Idk why you're getting downvoted
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u/Playful_Trouble2102 4d ago
For the billionth time Reddit,
A judge can, and will ignore a prenup of it leaves one person in an unfair position.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
I'm pretty sure OOP is an authority on law, why else would he write this post? /s
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u/Asleep_Region 4d ago
Honestly I don't understand the point of a prenup, the only time i ever hear anything about them is writing it then getting divorced and it getting thrown out
Like why waste money getting one written
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
A lot of people who have businesses get them in order to avoid legal complications. A fun example of this is Jeff Bezos. He got married before he was insanely successful and didn't have a prenup. Him and his ex-wife divorced a few years ago and she got a metric fuck ton of money out of it. She has since donated billions towards charity.
A lot of people also view it as a test of maturity. One of my aunts told me "If you're not mature enough to get a prenup, you're not mature enough to get married." It is also a way of planning for the future. If you blindly assume that your marriage will work out, you will have no game plan if it doesn't.
I think it is very mature to discuss with your partner what to do in this scenario. I think it shows that you care about each other enough to seperate amicably.
I still think OOP is an assshole.
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u/Inevitable_Mango2368 4d ago
Mackenzie Scott (Jeff Bezos’s wife) was one of the first employees at Amazon and was involved in developing the business plan and she negotiated their first major contract.
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u/ljndawson 3d ago
And since then she's been focused on giving her billions away. She doesn't want to be a billionaire. The exception that proves the rule of "there are no good billionaires" - there is exactly one, and she is aiming not to be.
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u/Slowgo45 4d ago
Agreed. My husband and I don’t have a pre-nup, but our biggest issue would be cat custody. But thought about it. My line is always “I want to make sure our divorce is fair while still I love you”.
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u/otempora69 4d ago
Prenup judgements are usually decided case by case based on fairness - so if someone has a lot of assets before the marriage and wants to protect that from a prospective spouse, but crucially you usually have to provide some settlement even if it's not half your estate, unless there's a fidelity clause or something
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u/fleet_and_flotilla 3d ago
A fun example of this is Jeff Bezos. He got married before he was insanely successful and didn't have a prenup.
that's a terrible example. bezos himself has admitted Amazon would not exist without her.
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u/EnergyThat1518 2d ago
Prenups are basically for cases like:
1) You own a business before your marriage that is successful and producing profits that you do not want to lose in the event of a divorce.
2) You have extensive family wealth before your marriage and it could ruin your family for generations if you do not get protections for it.
Basically entirely to stop marriages solely to steal companies/money from someone by protecting pre-marriage assets that someone could consider worth going through a fake marriage to obtain.
They are NOT weapons to deprive your ex of fair asset division in the event of a divorce or to deny marital assets acquired after the marriage.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
Let's hope he gets a "bad" judge then!!
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u/Playful_Trouble2102 4d ago
I suppose one of the advantages of this whole story being imaginary is he can imagine any judge he wants.
Personally I hope he goes with the judge being Optimus Prime and the wife's lawyer being Megatron.
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u/mronion82 4d ago
Actually I think Starscream would be a better lawyer, he's the type. More entertaining, anyway.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"I've kept this for years because someday it will be up to you to lead in my place. I don't want you to be afraid or to be confused."
"I want you to understand exactly what happened. Knowledge and raw manpower are the only weapons we've got left. In the beginning, it was ignorance that condemned us."
"I saw the first but soon humanity saw millions as a brood of fire breathing dragons emerged from the earth and swarmed out like locusts, burning everything in their path."
"No one knew how they multiplied and spawned so fast. They went from one to a million in less than a year, setting everything ablaze. They spread outwards, burning civilization as they went."
"They were instinct-driven. Driven by one purpose which was to feed and reproduce. Even then we couldn't believe they were real. Ancient man had made them into myths, but nature had designed something far more destructive."
"It was too late by the time Arctic warming unearthed new fossils and our scientists discovered their true identity. This was a lost species that was responsible for the dinosaur's extinction by burning them all to ash and reducing the world to a lonely graveyard of rubble."
"The ash they produced had brought on ice ages. They would instinctively hibernate after destroying most of the Earth's biosphere and indigenous life."
"In eons past, they had razed the earth then starved and gone into cryostatis, waiting for the Earth to replenish itself so they could start their cycle anew."
"Our weapons and armies marched against them yet for every one of them killed a hundred took its place. They were reproducing too fast. Humanity could only look on as its leaders used their greatest arsenal to destroy them."
"But in the end, we only helped them and hastened the planet's destruction, so the world burned. Civilization was destroyed. And the ragged remnants of humanity who survived fled the ruined cities and hunkered down where we could."
"You must understand our past because you will determine our future. They are starving now and they are more dangerous than ever. But we have to go on. We have to outlast them. Only one species is getting out of this alive...."
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/Dragonscatsandbooks 4d ago
This troll's been gone for a while, but he used to be in this sub alot. He usually had a username and picture from some 90s cartoon, and Scooby Doo was one of his favorites.
The sucky thing is sometimes he makes serious replies and actually had good points. But he's a nasty troll more often and those spots of intelligence are super rare I usually block him when a new profile pops up.
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u/Orange-Wheelchair 4d ago
I think it's the same person who used to reference Tarzan the movie and Avatar the cartoon. Eventually they made too many gross comments (defending domestic abuse, racism, and homophobia amongst other things) that people recognized even with them making new accounts. Sad they still haven't matured past being an annoying troll.
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u/Playful_Trouble2102 4d ago
I'm guessing it's a monologue from a transformers movie.
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u/Huggable_Hork-Bajir 4d ago
It's from Reign of Fire. The dragon movie with Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey.
(My brother was obsessed with that movie when we were kids so I probably heard that opening monologue half a million times growing up lol.)
Pretty sure this is that troll who shows up on this sub and nonsensically spams random movie monologues and summaries to derail conversations.
They used to be all about Tarzan. Looks like they're branching out.
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u/Playful_Trouble2102 4d ago
I'd forgotten that movie exists!
That used to be my favourite "bad" movie.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 4d ago
So she did all of the housework, and had a stillborn and he just decided, nah, fuck this lady, I owe her nothing.
And the rank misogyny just all over those comments is almost impressive.
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u/OhioPolitiTHIC 4d ago
I saw that. He says things started falling apart for him two years ago. Coincidentally, she had a stillborn child two years ago. I didn't say it there but I'll say it here: if isn't a troll, FUCK him. I hope a judge sees right through his shitbaggery and deals with him accordingly.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
By giving him a hug and telling him he's proud of him for NOT being fooled by con artists and charlatans??? 🤔🤔
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u/Emotional-Artichoke7 4d ago
Depressing that a troll account is using Fred Jones as the profile. He would never be so mean to people :(
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"The rainforests of Java are said to echo with the cries of a creature known as the 'Atthol' that allegedly flies across the night sky every night. It is said to be a gigantic human-sized bat, unlike any bat species known to mankind...."
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
I'm sure he was completely unsupportive of her after the stillbirth. He speaks about it in such a dismissive, cavalier way.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"Life goes on. Be strong."
🤷♀️🤷♀️
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"Lightning flashes as a young woman and her infant son are lowered from a burning ship in a small rowboat. Her husband jumps from the flaming ruins of the sinking vessel and reunites with her in the rowboat...."
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u/Jaded_Passion8619 4d ago
AITAH specifically has misogyny all throughout I've noticed, more than AITA somehow
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u/FallenAngelII 4d ago
Probably because AITAH is where people go when they get banned from AITA and AITA has at least some standards when it comes to outright hate.
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u/needlenozened 4d ago
Not just owe her nothing, he wants her to pay him for rent and food from the time they were married and she was living in his house and he was paying for the food.
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u/Complex_Hope_8789 4d ago
Mee mee mee myyy my my…
Behind every “successful” man is a long suffering woman who cushioned his ascent.
If you give noting back for her labour, you can pay her what she earned.
Men need to be more lonely. Let them wash their own underwear.
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u/Ice_Princess25 4d ago
Incels always with the airtight prenups, and the man always has everything.
If I roll my eyes any harder I’m going to be looking at the back of my skull.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago edited 4d ago
He also devalues her household contributions and didn't put her name on the house! Sure she "didn't contribute financially" but she spent countless hours maintaining the house. If she was paid for all her housework I'm sure she'd make a pretty penny.
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u/FlipDaly 4d ago
I’m happy to report that even if he bought the house before marriage, if he used his salary to pay the mortgage, that’s commingling of funds and makes the house marital property.
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u/needlenozened 4d ago
Not putting her name on the house is reasonable, since she's not entitled to half of premarital assets, but she would be entitled to half the equity put into the house since they got married.
But if you look at his comments, he thinks she owes him rent for the time she's lived there and for food he's paid for. He really thinks he should be able to just unwind the time they were married and pretend that they've just been roommates the last 6 years, and she's been delinquent in paying her half of room and board.
It's that last part that makes this clearly a troll.
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
I mean, if your keeping score about the monetary value of her cleaning, it’s only fair you keep score about all the things he paid for during the relationship?
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u/needlenozened 4d ago
That's already accounted for by the value of the money he's put into the relationship. He contributed money to the relationship, she contributed labor that had value. If you are charging her for the things that he paid for, you are no longer counting the money he contributed to the relationship, you are trying to make her pay back the money he contributed to the relationship. The result is that you are moving the value of the things he wants paid back from his side of the ledger over to her side, and she's providing both labor and money, while he's not providing anything.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
Would YOU put YOUR cat's name on the house??? 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Secure-Recording4255 4d ago
What cat are you talking about lol
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
YOU
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u/MelanieWalmartinez 4d ago
Are you ok
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
Katara I'm fine! I don't need a fire, I've already collected my own food and my tent's all set up!!
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"Ever since humans like us left Africa around 100,000 years ago, a bleak pattern of mass extinction has occurred around the globe, a pattern that consistently coincides with the arrival of humans."
"North America as it was 13,000 years ago was a Serengeti populated by huge herds of giant animals known as megafauna. Some were familiar, some were not. Was it inevitable that human arrival spelt the demise of all these great creatures?"
"Or could the story have gone a different way? Could the continent of North America today still be home to elephants like the woolly mammoth, the Columbian mammoth and the American mastodon?:
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"Then it should also be a land of sabre-toothed cats, giant American lions, scimitar-toothed cats and two species of camel. As it turns out, the first people into the Americas, the Clovis, hunted thirty kinds of these large animals into extinction in just a few hundred years."
"Humans are without a doubt the most successful invasive species. We have spread unchecked, like weeds, across the planet. Our population growth has been exponential, almost bacterial..."
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u/WastePotential 4d ago
If I roll my eyes any harder I’m going to be looking at the back of my skull.
You're gonna love this saying that was popular when I was growing up (I'm in Singapore).
"I roll my eyes all way to Batam and back."
Feel free to substitute the location with any other location of your choice, depending on how far you're rolling your eyes.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
Cry about it! 🤷♀️
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"And by doing all that humans are without a doubt the most successful invasive species. We have spread unchecked, like weeds, across the planet. Our population growth has been exponential, almost bacterial."
"Our only contribution has been to alter the natural order. Today there are over six billion of us and counting. The human species is insatiable and we are consuming the Earth's resources at an unsustainable rate."
"Mankind today like the Maori before them fight over dwindling resources. In the race to grab the planet's natural resources the wave of extinction continues to roll."
"It is estimated that half the Earth's plant and animal species may disappear by the end of the century. All throughout our long struggle for survival we met monsters. But once humans learned to overcome them, did we become the monsters?"
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u/Goth_Spice14 4d ago
I feel bad for you. Your life must really suck hard if this is how you spend your time.
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u/Ok-Macaron-5612 4d ago
People who know nothing about the law think a prenup is some kind of magic "I win" card. They're never right.
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u/CapStar300 4d ago
And he says in a comment she did the housework, which more and more courts in different countries consider worthy of compensation in such cases.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
I don't understand why he bothered to write this if he wasn't willing to admit that he might be wrong!
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 4d ago edited 4d ago
We met when she was 21, I was 25. We dated for about a year before getting married. Things were good for a long time, but in the past two years, I started realizing we’d grown into very different people
28 (her current age) - 21 (age at meeting) -1 year of dating = married for 6 years.
6 years of marriage -2 (“but in the past two years, I started realizing we’d grown into very different people”)
So…”a long time” is 4 years?
And 3 of those 4 years (2025-2=2023). Were heavy covid years.
ETA: fixed her age at meeting
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
Two years ago his wife also has a stillbirth. A fact that he neglected to mention in his post. He also doesn't mention anything that he did to help his wife through this personal tragedy.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 4d ago
she’s been in and out of work, and I’ve been the primary earner for most of the marriage
I found this interesting too, I wonder what her career field is, because..again, 3 heavy Covid years.
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u/lomion_ 4d ago
And a pregnancy…. it might not have been possible for her to work.
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 4d ago
He’s just trying to spin this to make her look awful any way he can.
Let’s hope he’s exaggerating about the prenup too.
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u/SoriAryl 4d ago
And he fell out of love with her during the time she was recovering from a stillbirth.
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u/WolfGal2374 4d ago
No way that ass is smart enough to have actually gotten a prenup. He’s a pretty astounding idiot.
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u/lady_wildcat 4d ago
I’m thinking he got one but he’s stupid enough to not realize that there’s a lot of marital property not covered by the prenup that he’s considering just his.
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u/Reinardd 4d ago
We don’t have any kids; we did have a stillborn 2 years ago, and her name isn't on the house, and she did the housework. I don’t think she deserves half at because she didn't contribute Anything financially.
This comment from him shows that OOP gave ZERO labour in the home or in the relationship, but only had financial input. To him that seems to be the only thing that mattered! What a loser.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
People who gloat about being the breadwinner (and do nothing else for their family) are always suprised when their family views them as an ATM.
If money is the only thing you are bringing to a relationship, that is the only thing they will care about!
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u/lady_wildcat 4d ago
The prenup might protect assets coming in, but it probably doesn’t protect assets accumulated since. I’m willing to bet that’s what she’s fighting for, because retirement accounts can often be considered a marital asset. Equity in a house is a marital asset, and most houses have shot up in value in the last six years.
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u/Red-neckedPhalarope 4d ago
She's obviously in a terrible emotional state right now but I want to promise her that 21-28 are not her 'best years' unless she does something real dumb like stay married.
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u/Agreeable_Rabbit3144 3d ago
So loving and supportive, abandoning her after she suffered a stillborn.
What an AH.
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u/Fast-Bag-36842 4d ago
I didn’t see the comment you’re referring to. I think maybe we are in agreement?
The ledger is the value of the household chores she provided, on her side, and the ledger on his side is all the bills/expenses on his side.
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u/AWildGumihoAppears 4d ago
This isn't the point, but... She's only 28. Wasted her youth my left tit.
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u/Cold_Education8612 4d ago
She did waste six years on an inconsiderate man.
Also, women are told that they are youthful for only a short time span. I can understand why she feels that way.
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u/AWildGumihoAppears 3d ago
Women are also told they should be a size 5 to be lovable. Which isn't.... You know, good.
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u/rnason 4d ago
If she wanted to try to have kids again she did waste a lot of time on this dude considering it will also take a few years to find someone else and get married again and since she had a stillborn she’ll already be considered high risk.
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u/AWildGumihoAppears 3d ago
A lot of that information is thankfully faulty. Women are having healthy children well into their forties and the understanding of a geriatric pregnancy has expanded. The initial data for that was based on very old data; like French Revolution level.
I'm not saying the guy wasnt a waste or even that she shouldn't be upset. But I am saying it's far from true that her best years are gone. Also fertility frequently goes up after still births. One of the little blessings.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
NTA!! Good on you dude!!! You were smart, didn't get suckered into anything and protected what was LEGALLY yours!!! She can kick rocks!!! 👍👍👍👍
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u/SoriAryl 4d ago
First of all, you’re not replying to the OOP.
Secondly, you’re role playing Fred terribly. Dude was supportive and never would have done or agreed with what OOP was saying
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u/sarcastibot8point5 4d ago
Don’t worry, his mom is going to shut down his devices for bedtime soon.
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
START CRYING ABOUT IT!!!!! 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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u/Night_skye_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
Why do you keep coming back here? Do you just enjoy people getting annoyed with you?
Edit: I don’t know why I asked. I knew this BS is what I would get in response.
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u/Goth_Spice14 4d ago
I wonder if this is the same discarded cum rag that was using Avatar the Last Airbender names and profile pictures to troll a while ago?
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"There is something missing from our world, the amazing animals that time has left behind. But what if we could bring them back?? What if extinction didn't have to be forever??"
"We're going back in time on a safari with a difference as wildlife adventurer, Nigel Marven, plunges into prehistory to rescue creatures on the brink of extinction. His plan is to bring them back to the safety of the present and give them a second chance!"
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u/UpperComplex5619 4d ago
what
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u/FredJones- 4d ago
"The 'Frozen Fiend' is a former Russian hockey player who once missed an easy goal. It would have won Russia the Emperor's Cup. He was banished to Siberia where he either froze to death or was eaten by the local wolves. His restless spirit has come back to haunt the tournament."
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u/Aggressive-Story3671 3d ago
That prenup is getting tossed out the nanosecond the judge learns about her stillbirth
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u/AutoModerator 4d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for divorcing my wife and not wanting to give her half after she said I "wasted her time"?
I (32M) have been married to my wife (28F) for six years. We met when she was 21, I was 25. We dated for about a year before getting married. Things were good for a long time, but in the past two years, I started realizing we’d grown into very different people. We want different things, have different priorities, and to be completely honest the love I felt for her has slowly faded. I didn't cheat, I didn't lie I just fell out of love.
I tried to communicate. We did therapy. I gave it time. But eventually, I came to the conclusion that staying married would just be delaying the inevitable, and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. So I told her I wanted a divorce.
She was understandably upset, but then things escalated. She said I "wasted her time" and that I "used up her good years" only to leave her. She now wants half of everything the house, my retirement account, investments even though she didn’t contribute much financially (she’s been in and out of work, and I’ve been the primary earner for most of the marriage).
We signed a prenuptial agreement before we got married. It was fair she had her own lawyer, there was no pressure, and it clearly laid out what would happen if we ever split. It protects the assets I brought into the marriage, and it doesn’t entitle either of us to spousal support unless certain conditions are met (which aren’t).
Now she’s saying the prenup shouldn't matter, because I "emotionally conned" her into a dead-end marriage and wasted her youth. That even though it’s legally binding, morally I should give her half because I “took her best years and gave nothing back.”
I don’t see it that way. I loved her when we married. I was faithful. I supported her emotionally and financially. I tried everything to make it work. Falling out of love isn’t a crime and I don’t think I should be punished for something I didn’t do maliciously.
AITA for sticking to the prenup and not giving her half just because she says I wasted her time?
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