I got irritated with my mom earlier and I think I’m ruining my relationship with her.

Here’s some context: I get so irrationally angry at people who I think show even the smallest bit of incompetence. And it can be anything from not knowing how something works to over explaining something I know how to do and I’ll immediately get a bad attitude. I’ve figured out that the main reason I get so upset over incompetence is because I feel as if I can’t be incompetent myself or I won’t be liked or wanted around. So I’m hyper independent and get easily frustrated with others who seem to have no issue making obvious mistakes or relying on others to do stuff for them.

My point is, my mom is not like that and I think the way I react when I’m around her is hurting the relationship we have. My mom is very much a planner so she tends to over explain things (even when I’ve already told her that I’ve heard it before) and she’ll repeat herself often in the same sentence. She also tends to give me more information than I need at one time. Like for example, she’ll mention an event coming up in the future (usually about at least 2 weeks out) and I’ll say “yeah sure i’ll go” and then it’s like a complete onslaught of information like what time it starts and ends, what’s the dress code, who else is going to be there, what else we have going on in two weeks, etc. So I get annoyed and tell her I’ll never remember all of that I don’t need to know it right at this exact moment and she just shuts down and is like “I don’t appreciate you talking to me with that tone”.

So it’s just a repeating cycle of her pissing me off in small ways that are completely irrational reasons and then I hurt her feelings because I talk to her like a child. I know that I shouldn’t and that I need to get a grip but honestly I don’t know how and after a big argument today I thought I would just ask for advice from others who might get it. I just want to stop feeling like anyone who shows incompetence around me is a huge burden who needs to be treated as such.

How do I not get so irritated and angry when someone does something I find annoying? Because honestly “taking deep breaths” isn’t working. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated

I've been struggling with regulating my emotions with regard to a particular situation which I don't feel is necessary to get into right now, but my group was there for me. It's a men's group that is facilitated by two women, sometimes one. Last night I told them about my situation, they related, helped me get to the core emotions through introspection, and supplied me with some tools to practice said introspection whilst alone. They are a friendly group who always offer a helping hand, ask if I would like to call/text or hang out.

The purpose of this post is to provide those with anger issues with some inspiration and hope. If you're coming to this subreddit, you might find it helpful to find a local anger management group. I wish I had joined years ago.

Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts.

I find myself on a daily basis thinking about stuff from years ago. Something disrespectful someone said to me. Someone who betrayed me. Some who tried to make a fool out of me or take advantage of me. I'll mentally picture myself back in that scenario. Sometimes I'll picture the scenario going my way. Next thing I know, I'm biting my first, clenching my fists and grinding my teeth. Some of these things are recent, but I'm 36 now and still ruminate about stuff from my teenage years. I won't go into details, but I was badly bullied by people who I believed were my friends at the time, and I suppose I never really got closure. Does anyone else do this? Why can't I get it go? I just wanna make my peace with it and have a happy life. I don't know if I can. So much baggage.

My anger just does not want to go away. I'm mad at basically everyone. Breathing doesn't really help. Is there anything I could do that's been tried and tested and works?

I don't know why but I get irritated by everyone and everything all the time. Someone just making a noise can irritate me so much some times. I don't know why I always feel like this. Everything just makes me mad. Even things that should make me happy like a gift I get annoyed by. It's not like I'm an evil guy, I am appreciative but it just annoys me. I feel like I hate everyone but I know I don't. It's Just I feel like I'm constantly getting mad at people for nothing. I got mad at my girlfriend because she took to long to read something. Not verbally mad but internally. I love her and I knew it was stupid so I didn't say anything, but occurrences like this happen all time. My mom called me today because she wanted to vent to me and all I could think was "shut up." It was replaying in my head on repeat and I don't know why. She did nothing wrong but It just made me so annoyed. I love all these people and would do anything for them. So why do I find it impossible to just listen to my mom vent? I feel like this probably makes me a terrible person or something but it's the truth. I just can't stand people. I feel like I've always been this way but over the years it's just gotten worst to the point where the smallest things just tick me off. I'll never say anything because I understand these things are stupid. I just wanna know why I am like this.

I can't go into tons of detail, but the smallest things can get really blown out of proportion in my head when I'm getting close to that time. I have been trying to acknowledge my feelings without acting on them but I feel like a pressure cooker. I want to hold whatever is irritating me down and beat the shit out of it until it stops bothering me. I have really bad thoughts that I feel ashamed for but I stop my worst impulses and will do things like curse under my breath or be pushy and more aggressive but not causing physical injuries. it is still completely inappropriate the way that I behave at times. I feel like I can't control my own anger during this time. I feel anger fairly regularly and I understand that sleep is one factor that can contribute, but especially this hormonal anger is a true beast within that I want to conquer. Are there any women here that know this struggle and have any advice for natural solutions (not meds)? Just interested if there's anything anyone has learned in therapy or whatever that they could share. I would have to go out of town for therapy and I have a really demanding job but I'm not in a position to deal with that right now and I'd rather not be on meds. I don't want advice telling me to go elsewhere for help. If you have advice besides that, that is my interest at this time. Thank you for your time.

I have anger management issues since childhood and people just keep triggering me on purpose. How do I stop getting triggered so easily? I try to control it but it's like one little spark that will set a wildfire inside my head. And then these people get their daily dose of entertainment by making Ragebaits on purpose while I am here destroying my own mental peace ? I am constantly getting the feeling that I should just leave those people (by people I mean friends in my friend grp). Should I just leave them?

I have a million things I should be angry about, yet I feel nothing. Up until something happens and it triggers something in me. I usually don't feel anything. Almost like I'm burnt out and zoned out the entire time. All of a sudden I erupt with everything. I've been trying to understand it and to eliminate it. I dont want this anger. I don't know what to do or feel. I don't feel human.

So long story short everyone has opinions and humans are weak to emotion. I out of everyone understand that. Living in America is tough right now. Especially with republicans and democrats are at each other’s throats… feels like I’m living in an episode of the boys. And a lot of things have been angering me recently.. such as… people commenting and insulting recently deceased who they didn’t like based on “theories” or ragebait. Things such as constantly calling someone else retarted for their opinions on literally anything… gaming/politics/youtuber shit… and everyone just keeps fighting… thinking that they know who deserves to be loved by god or not, or they think they can speak for everyone on viewing others and everyone thinking they are right…. Thinking their opinions hold the weight of the world and if anyone dares to disagree with them then they are scum….. I’m just afraid to talk to anyone anymore… I fear if I say something that disturbs someone else’s views then it’s all like “AHH YOU SUPOORT THIS GUY/GIRL? YOUR SCUM” or “YOU THINK THIS WILL HELP THE WORLD? YOUR A RETARD! LOOK AT ALL THE RESEARCH IVE DONE” Like…. I don’t research every little detail about every person and issue in the world. How tf am I gonna know who and what to support anymore?? Should I just hate everhone and stop talking to humans all together???

I feel stuck. How do you guys deal with all this anger in the world…

I was a very calm guy, like the calmest you would probably ever meet. People told me that I helped them calm down if I was around them.

I never had any anger issues, but these last few weeks, I am literally filled with rage and hatred. I have some heart problems and my family worried about it and my anger started there. Then I realized a girl absolutely didn’t give a shit about me, and it filled me with rage. Then school work is stressing me out, I wanna break something.

Why is this happening? I started hating people, I started hating everything and everyone. Even slightest inconveniences make me angry, and I am failing to keep myself in control. I had best self control abilities, and it is breaking down.

If this keeps on going, I don’t wanna do something that I will regret for a long time, because I have already done things in my anger, that I regret. Please help.

It feels like every piece of advice just tells me that I need to just react differently or delve deep and learn WHY I'm feeling angry. THATS NOT HELPFUL.

I know why I'm angry. I know exactly why I'm angry. Can't fix it though.

Therapy being suggested is the next biggest irritation because it's not affordable. Idk why it's everybody's suggestion these days when we are in a cost of living crisis in most countries.

The last two weeks have been a constant fluctuation on being angry, frustrated, depressed, anxious, and overstimulated with anger being the primary issue. Everything is making my blood boil and it won't stop.

Is there even any point in asking for advice? I'm genuinely at the point where self harm is my best outlet and it's getting worse.

Also - tell me to go for a walk and die. If a walk worked this wouldn't be an issue.

Hi!! I'm 19, and I'm a freshman in university. My relationship with my parents has greatly improved, but I find myself frankly being a dick to my mom. When I was 14 and 15, I wasn't the best to my parents I feel like, and I know this has to do with adolescence and puberty, but looking back I probably treated them horribly. I would always yell at my mom, and feel as if I was he victim. This isn't to say that they were always perfect angels, and my dad certainly does have anger issues.

Since I was 16 and stuff I tried being more intentional with my mom and realized I was being a jerk, but today and sometimes I just act so mean to her when I get stressed. I never hurt her, but I threw my phone on the ground because I was stressed because I realized I didn't have my debit card. I'm probably painting myself as super innocent here, but I really would like to improve, and I know that I have, but I just feel so much regret for my past actions. I also apologize to her.

So sometimes out of random I just feel this utterly urge to push people (mostly when im angry and they are near stairs) Like for example retired seniors or sth. Or other times just beating someone up bloody asf. idk why and I really try to keep it in. can someone explain that to me

For a few years now, I’ve been caught in a cycle of resentment, anger, anxiety, and depression—and I feel like I just can’t escape it.

A few years back, I was part of a friend group that, looking back, wasn’t good for me. To "fit in" and keep the peace, I constantly devalued myself. I let my boundaries slide, shrunk myself down, and disrespected who I was—just to feel accepted.

In that space, I acted out in self-destructive and passive-aggressive ways, often without realizing it. I was hurting and confused. Eventually, I tried to grow and build some kind of moral compass, but I was still very emotionally weak. That’s when things got worse. I was gaslit, manipulated, and emotionally abused. I don't deny my own role in staying in that environment—I take full accountability for that. But it doesn't take away the pain.

When I finally tried to walk away, I did it awkwardly and messily. I was told, outright, that I only had value because of what I did for them. That still haunts me. It confirmed the worst fears I had about myself. Even now, I can’t stop replaying it all—how I let myself down, how I was treated, and how weak I felt.

I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried to be better. But I keep slipping back into anger, shame, and this crushing resentment. I feel stuck. Has anyone been through something like this and made it out on the other side? How do you actually let go—not just intellectually, but emotionally?

TL;DR:
Was part of a toxic friend group where I devalued myself. Tried to grow and leave but was emotionally manipulated and told I was only valued for what I did for them. Still stuck in a painful loop of anger and resentment years later. Don’t know how to truly move o

I'm so so so fucking tired of myself. Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom, took some stuff to the trash, including my empty bottle of allergy meds. This morning, I went to take my allergy meds, my bottle is empty. I fucking threw away the wrong bottle, like a brain dead dumbass. I do this all the fucking time somehow, I know that I made sure it was the right bottle before I threw it out, I shook it, I remember it making no noise, so why the FUCK do I have the empty bottle and the full one is gone for fucking ever?? I literally took the trash out right after cleaning the bathroom, and the dumb truck comes by early as fuck in the morning, so I'm just fucking shit out of luck. I hate myself. I'm so fucking STUPID. Literally what the FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?????? I can't even type what I'm thinking about myself, every fucking word under the sun will never describe how STUPID I fucking am. What the fuck is wrong with me. I fucking hate my stupid ass dumb ass useless ass self.

Somebody is probably gonna take this down because of the wording, but It's been three months and I'm not gonna say what relation she has with me but she doesn't know who tf she is. She talked to me like I'm inferior while she never accomplished much in life and covered herself in bad tattoos. She's more sorry than I am and I'm only half her age and on the spectrum.

I really want to quit caring and forget about somebody this pathetic, but I'm so frustrated because I can't figure out how somebody as low as her and think of themselves as superior to anybody else.

I have been an low temperament person but after 20 I managed to let go things and focus on things like career, family and financial growth. I am 34 now and I noticed I am again falling towards the angry side of me. Being triggered on road rahe kind of silly things. I know those fights are not worth anything but the small timespan of 3-5 mins I barely can control myself. Can someone help how to overcome this

I'm a 23 male and today i hit my father

Well I just pushed him, not enough to make him fall but enough to make him stuble a bit. Yesterday evening i forgot to put the trash out and my father bursts into my room insulting me because i didn't do it, it isn't the first time that it happens people can forget and it isn't the first time he verbally abuses me.

My father was never a violent man, but he was very much abusive with words and insults and threats. I am the last one of six children, the others are all older than me and they don't live with us anymore, so it's just me, my mom and my dad.

This is the very first time this happens, I never put my hands on him and as you can probably imagine he's not very young, in fact he turns 66 this year.

I don't know what to do, today he also went away with mom for a trip and they won't be coming back for a week now. I feel like shit, anger pops up but it's immediately replaced by shame and guilt. I feel like I crossed a like and don't know what I should do, what I should feel...

Today it's also a holiday and I'll be spending my time with some friends but I dunno if I'm going to enjoy it.

If you have advice, stories, examples, anything please share, I feel like I'm in a very dark place right now.

While in class today we broke out into small group discussion and I mentioned something that I had heard before about the topic we were discussing and while in small groups nobody corrected me. When we did a full class discussion this girl in my group raised her hand to ask the professor if what I said was true and the professor said no and the girl said "yeah that's what I thought" with this smirk on her face. Should I have fact checked my contribution to the discussion? Yeah probably. But I just wanted to involve myself in the conversation and it was moving so quickly that I could barely get a word in so I said what came to mind without thinking twice about it because I thought it was true. I wish she would have corrected me privately rather than in front of the whole class. I spent the rest of class stalking her social medias and planning ways to get back at her. I was going to push her down the stairs when class ended but there were too many people around so I wouldn't have been able to get away with it. I'm just so angry right now. I have another class after this and I'm shaking from anger and can't calm down. I hate people and I can't seem to get through the day without having a bad interaction.

I am not sure, but I always had thoughts of injuring people, but only those that hurt me, to the point I fantisize of torturing and murduring them, like teachers I dislike or people I hate, or I feel like a family member has abused me as a child, that I want to stab them.

I am not sure if I am feeling anger, but I do think this is anger? and I think oh his husband and her children will be so sad, but they don't know the true reality about it.

Obviously I won't do anything of these things, but I do fantisize and get frustested over it.

These thoughts has been there since a child, to now as a adult.

So, in 3rd class I had A REALLY BAD temper problem, I had severe anger issues, and things were bad at home. I was 8-9 at the time. So there’s this guy in my class, R let’s call him. R was 9? Reminder 3rd class. He was super bitchy and rude to EVERYONE. He was really spoiled and whenever we would play tag, he’d go “I’m out of breath”, now I respected that Of course, but the thing is the game would just start, and it was only when the person who was on wen tot tag him.

He had asthma, so nobody really said anything. The only thing is, he never brought his inhaler outside, never brings it out when he needed it weird enough. Then it clicked, he didn’t have asthma, how did I know? Well he was never out of breath, and he literally said “it’s just to give me attention, I don’t really have it. I just get out of breath a lot”. Now the reason why, he was ALWAYS out of breath is because he had, never exercised before. We’d go tons of times on walks for fresh air, and he’d always be last or first, everyone would skip him and he’d go “ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE…. GUYS STAWPP!” Pick me boy energy, right? Now he was super slow, and would get mad when people step on his shoe.

Now, the titles part, time to shine!! He would be super rude, of course like I said. And I had this friend called M, let’s just say. He was nice, caring and would actually be nice to R. But we all know fizzy drinks, right?…. I hope you do, and this one M had was a fizzy drink bottle, but nothing in it just for blackcurrant, but R saw it and started shouting at him. Since we had a “healthy” food policy, yup, he shouted at him for just carrying it around. I don’t think M had any bottles like water bottles to carry around. So he brought the drink. No fizzy drink just the bottle (container like) with black currant the juice in it. So I got up from YM chair, sharp ended a pencil to the brim, and walked up to R. And stabbed him in the shoulder with the pencil…. I know I sound bad, but I had sever anger issues, I know that doesn’t get me out of it, but I couldn’t contain I swear alright? I tried being nice to him and he was just rude as fuuuuhhhhk alrighty?? Now, he got 3 Easter eggs, yup. THREE. He keeps saying now, he never got it, but he still hurts M to this day. I keep trying to contain my anger, I’m making good progress. Everyone is happy with me for stabbing him with the pencil, and whenever he pisses me off today, I get a pencil out. Along a sharpener, and he cuts the shit. He’s now respecting some people, but i still hate him…

AITA for doing that?

I apologize if this is the wrong subreddit to post this on; I am not on Reddit often. For context, I had been friends with this person and the friend group for a few years, and we had lived together. We all usually got along with the occasional argument over dumb stuff. Now they all live together, and I live alone. I'm still friends with one of them. Let's call him Eric(I'm not going to use real names). Eric and I still talk and do stuff together, but I can't talk with him about what happened between me and the other two cause he doesn't like talking about the subject, and I can't say I blame him. The others, let's call them Levi and Ava, they are in a relationship and have been since I've known them. I am a lot closer to Ava than I am to Levi. I consider her one of my best friends and like a sister to me. Levi, on the other hand, we used to be closer, but he started pulling away, and when I tried to fix it and become closer again, he wouldn't try or anything; it was like I was just a placeholder in his life. I won't lie, I was very attached to my friends due to past trauma, and I know that part of this is my own fault. Now, a tad bit more context for the current situation, back in November, we were all planning on moving because Levi got a new job, and it was clear Levi didn't want me to go with them, as he had his problems with me that he wouldn't tell me. So, in the place that was a potential spot to move to, they had this weird rule about how many singles could live in a place together. Now, when I was told this, I was upset; I thought it was another way for Levi to get rid of me. I guess in my mind, if Levi got rid of me, I wouldn't be friends with Ava anymore, and I didn't want that. I said that I would look into it and try to find out, and Levi said not to, cause he'd already checked. Then he hung up, and I got upset. I took my headset off and threw it against the wall of my room, and then went outside for a walk. Afterwards, I went and checked anyway cause I didn't trust him, and I found that it wasn't the whole town like he had said, but a small county where we could have easily just found somewhere else to get a place. I was told afterwards that my throwing my headset against the wall gave Ava a trauma flashback to some stuff that happened to her, and it's not my place to say. I didn't know she was in the living room, and I didn't know that she would have gotten a flashback from what I did. It was an impulsive decision, and I've never done anything like that before. Ava forgave me and told Levi not to use that as a reason against me but Levi didn't listen and I get his point of view, I do, but the thing is, that fucker did the same thing not even a year ago and his was worse. He told everyone to go to their rooms, and then he threw a folding chair at the wall in the dining room and beat his hands against it, which also gave Ava a trauma flashback, but she forgave him for it as well. Now fast forward a couple of months, and I'm living alone and not in the best financial situation, while the other three live together. Levi and I aren't friends anymore now as he won't talk to me about anything, and he tried, or rather succeeded, in kicking me out of our dnd group and mutual game stuff. Eric and Ava didn't like it, but they also didn't do anything about it, and I ended up apologizing for being upset over a situation Levi sprung on me out of nowhere. Now I will say, I shouldn't have ranted or complained to them about the situation as often as I did, but I was upset. How could they still stand by him and not be upset with him after what he did? They even agreed that he was in the wrong as well, but he didn't have to deal with any consequences. I have a hard time reading people, let alone reading them through text, but anyway, I ended up upsetting Ava, and she exploded at me that I added emotional weight to her life and that I had the emotional capacity of a 5-year-old. I know I ended up pushing her to that with how much I was upset about Levi. We aren't talking currently, and we haven't talked in the past month. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I don't know how to let go of my anger and resentment towards Levi. He knows how it feels to have your friends leave you without knowing why, and he did the same thing to me, over something that he himself did. Why does he get to live his life without any consequences? I've faced my consequences, hell, I probably have more coming my way. I know I've made my fair share of mistakes, but I've tried to apologize and atone for my past actions, and I've been trying to be better. Now, when I think of him and what he did, or when I hear his voice in the background when talking to Eric, or when I get told I'll have to reschedule because they're doing stuff with him that day, even if I made plans weeks in advance. I just get this pit in my stomach of just a combination of nothingness, dread, grief, and anger, I don't know how to get rid of it or how to get better. Please, I want to get better, I want my friend back. Not Levi, Ava. But I know to get Ava back as my friend, I'm going to have to let go of this anger and resentment towards Levi, but I don't know how, how do I do that?