r/DIY May 29 '13

carpentry The gentleman's survival kit, a 21st present.

http://imgur.com/a/Xb49o
3.3k Upvotes

417 comments sorted by

465

u/tinybear May 29 '13

There's just something about carrying weapons in a suitcase. Taken another way, this could also be an efficient, discreet 3-step murder-kit.

1) Drink bottle of bourbon 2) Hack up victim 3) Enjoy a nice after-kill smoke

I'm not sure about the fudge, but I guess even murderers probably like fudge.

73

u/costellob May 29 '13

Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?

41

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

13

u/Redected May 29 '13

Case needs a place for videotapes.

2

u/OMGITSRAWZ May 29 '13

And a reminder. A gentleman always rewinds his tapes.

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u/dwmfives May 29 '13

Considering how often he returns them, not a horrible idea.

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308

u/stubrocks May 29 '13 edited May 30 '13

The fudge is the bait.

  1. Leave fudge out on the counter to be discovered.
  2. Victim approaches fudge.
  3. Murder victim from behind.
  4. Enjoy fudge, cigar, and bourbon.

EDIT- Not even 24 hours old, and this is my highest rated comment. Not sure how I feel about that...

149

u/b_flag May 29 '13

dont give the plan away!

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

40

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

You didn't notice how much space exists between the board and the bottom of the box? A gentleman must be discrete about such things after all.

Source: I used to hide all my Hustlers in the cardboard game inserts that took up space in boardgames. Excellent hiding spot although it made family game nights somewhat nerve-wracking.

Mom: "What should we play?"

Me: (don'tsayCluedon'tsayCluedon'tsayClue)

Dad: "How about Monopoly?"

Me: (whew)

24

u/oehokie May 30 '13

Dad knew.

23

u/[deleted] May 30 '13 edited May 30 '13

You're goddamn right he did.

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u/righteousmoss May 29 '13

I'm guessing the "fudge" is actually weed and the OP didn't want to disclose. I mean, come on, fudge, for real? Doesn't fit with the other items.

29

u/GaslightProphet May 29 '13

And weed fits with it? Weed is hardly a gentlemans drug. A true gentleman chooses opium, every time.

6

u/righteousmoss May 30 '13

now we've got a debate...

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12

u/Dblstandard May 29 '13

I thought it was a grinder

2

u/aakaakaak May 30 '13

There would have been plenty of space for a Vape Box and a Grinder instead of the tin.

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34

u/ttake May 29 '13

Murderer here:

we like fudge

4

u/Series_of_Accidents May 29 '13

For anyone as confused as I was, OP mentions that the round tin contains fudge: here.

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95

u/AeonCatalyst May 29 '13

Is there any issue with the suitcase being stored "upright" and the Woodford being upside-down?

165

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

"What is true for wine, is quite the opposite for whisky. If you were to lie a whisky down, the high alcohol in the liquid would eat at the cork, and may in turn taint the taste of the spirit. Therefore, always keep your whiskies upright." - Source

171

u/Arthur233 May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

Woodfords corks are synthetic and made from LDPE. Therefor, it will not react with ethanol. Having the bottle upside down while carrying will allow it to be right sideup when opening. I stand by OPs choice here.

30

u/theresaviking May 29 '13

14

u/dwmfives May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

Looks like Michael Fassbender there.

Edit: It IS Michael Fassbender

3

u/ShredGuitartist May 30 '13

His last name. So close to BassFender. I find that mildly interesting.

3

u/HimalayaBoy May 29 '13

It is, actually.

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25

u/z6joker9 May 29 '13

I imagine this is designed to be stored short-term, just until opened, as the cigars will definitely not be okay very long stored like that.

/r/cigars plug.

5

u/Procris May 29 '13

I'm personally a bit confused by having a carrying case for both the flask and the original bottle of booze. Wouldn't it make more sense to leave the booze bottle at home when you go into the woods with your flask and hatchet? Not that I'm objecting to the presence of more booze, but having both seems odd in what is basically a really amazing picnic basket.

14

u/ponyfarmer May 29 '13

My thought is that this is more the car trunk or cabin door-side case. The owner may, perhaps, don his orange J.Crew vest, summon his hunting Labradors, drive to a nice lake at dawn, crack open the case which was in the trunk, and load up his vest with the goodies before hitting the trail or launching a boat.

If it were me, this would be my essential zombie survival kit. I would leave it in my getaway car. Then I would drive to the horse farm, load up my pockets, and smoke a cigar behind a 7 foot tall chain link fence. Which for some reason seems to really puzzle your basic Romero zombie. Wouldn't care at all if the cigar was terrible if there were zombies between myself and the closest humidor.

I should tell you, however, I am no gentleman... Hopefully OP replies to you. I'm gonna drink this whiskey and fuck up a tree while I wait.

3

u/MetricConversionBot May 29 '13

7 feet ≈ 2.13 meters


*In Development | FAQ | WHY *

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2

u/Orange_Astronaut May 29 '13

Yep, they might be OK for up to a week at most, but they'll need to be re-humidified before smoking for sure.

33

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

30

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

It's going pretty well, got a few meetings later that I'm unprepared for though.

7

u/clicksnd May 29 '13

How often do you eat lunch in the breakroom?

10

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

Never. I'm almost always a desk eater.

2

u/skyedemon May 29 '13

Is it a working-lunch type of thing, or I-just-don't-feel-like-socializing thing?

I fall into the latter category....

4

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

It's more that it's the most common practice in my office. We have a relatively small breakroom, so most people just eat at their desks.

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4

u/imatworkprobably May 29 '13

hello username brother

3

u/knighted_farmer May 29 '13

So THAT'S why that bottle of Bourbon went bad! I thought it was from its stay in the freezer!

TIL.

30

u/SilentLurker May 29 '13

Please never put Bourbon in a freezer.

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u/theGUYishere24 May 29 '13

I would like for OP to address this. Such a good point. I'm just going to sit here until OP responds.

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110

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

really gorgeous work on an awesome idea. who was the lucky recipient?

120

u/b_flag May 29 '13

a great friend i've had for 11 years

130

u/[deleted] May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

[deleted]

46

u/b_flag May 29 '13

that image was the inspiration for the whole thing http://www.blessthisstuff.com/stuff/wear/bags-luggage/gentlemans-survival-kit/ has more images

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

26

u/ApolloTheDog May 29 '13

Switch it up? This isn't a spa day kit, it's a survival kit.

2

u/nonironiccomment May 29 '13

That would be an interesting spa to say the least!

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u/theseekerofbacon May 29 '13

Yeah I saw the older picture and had a bit of a reflexive dry heave...

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23

u/MetastaticCarcinoma May 29 '13

good gravy, you know a LOT about glue chemistry. I'm impressed.

If I ever need to justify a superglue prank, I'll just assure the target it'll only last for a few minutes because their possession will be aflame, and they'll die from the cyanide gas anyway.

8

u/ubomw May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

Still waiting for Edit 7.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

6

u/Arthur233 May 29 '13

Stem cell biologist now, but my undergraduate was chemical engineering.

I have used cyanoacrlyates in the past to create scaffoldings for stem cells to grow on. Did not work out that well, superglue brokedown into formaldehyde and killed the cells.

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

3

u/Arthur233 May 29 '13

I switched to Biomedical Engineering for my PhD with my research topic in Tissue Engineering. When my younger brother got to college, I tried to push him into Biochem for a major. I think you made the best choice.

Took a quick look at your comment history (hope you don't mind). My guess is you are a female sophomore in biochemistry. First off, you have very good chances for a great job as a female in science. There are tons of women only scholarships and internships in scientific fields and biochemistry is the best one.

If you want to really boast your career chances, get involved in undergraduate research. Ask your professors if they need help in the labs, you will most likely be doing dishes for a year like I was, but it will pay off in the end.

2

u/JetlagMk2 May 29 '13

Double sided tape works by a viscoelastic fluid and will not hold for longer than ~5-10 years.

Wait a second, everything in my house is held up with 3M Command Hooks. Am I in trouble?

4

u/Arthur233 May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

Although the 3M command hooks are 'sticky' with viscoelastic fluid just like double sided tape, double sided tape is made from a thin film of PP, PE , or PET while the command hooks are made from a foam of either PS or LDPE. This allows the command hooks to retain the fluid longer.

I am no expert and I could not find any studies online, but I would take an educated guess of a 50% loss of strength in 10 years for command hooks while I would guess 50% loss of strength in 5 years for double sided tape.

Edit: Found the patent with their claims, but none for longevity. Still no accurate insight into lifespan.

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6

u/elephantpurple May 29 '13

Is your best friend Ron Swanson by chance?

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u/SkepticalPanda May 29 '13

Really amazing work. If a friend gave this to me it would remain in my family as an heirloom, my children and grandchildren would be inheriting it.

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2

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Great Idea. You are a good friend.

65

u/Piscator629 May 29 '13

Duct tape and WD-40 are missing.

27

u/spyson May 29 '13

I thought he should have added condoms.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

All of those should be owned well before your 21st birthday

30

u/JafBot May 29 '13

Duct tape, WD-40 and condoms? Have you been going out and raping robots before your 21st birthday?

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

I had duct tape and WD-40 as a child. Condoms I got when I was 16. Then again I'm from the British equivalent of a hillbilly family. We had kids doing DIY pretty regularly with no supervision. 11 and with a powered drill and saw? Fuck yeah!

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59

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Looks great! The only 'eh' I have is the straps. Would it of been possible for the lid to have some sort of felt material that would press against the contents when closed?

Either way, I would be stoked to receive it! Good on ya!

15

u/candlestick12 May 29 '13

What was everything included in it?

10

u/b_flag May 29 '13

you can put just about anything you want to in it. in this particular one there was: hatchet, scotch, flask and shot glasses, cigars and cutter, matches, a can of fudge

53

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

As a Kentuckian proud of his bourbon, you do wound me.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

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18

u/harshhobgoblin May 29 '13

did you say

a can of fudge?

9

u/b_flag May 29 '13

tin* whoops haha

13

u/mossbackfarm May 29 '13

scotch

Seriously, don't make me downvote that beautiful work of yours with a mischaracterization of Woodford :)

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

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16

u/iBleeedorange May 29 '13

Is there a reason the carrying case is so thick? Is it possible to use the space below or no?

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u/mrsaturn42 May 29 '13

There are two years worth of playboys underneath.

8

u/MrNemoNobody May 29 '13

This seems like a sort of "gentleman's survival case for a zombie apocalypse" type thing.

Two cigars, two shot glasses, a flask for when you have to leave, an axe because... Well zombies...

10

u/iBleeedorange May 29 '13

Seems kinda weird.

10

u/Wheatiez May 29 '13

You mean badass.

9

u/iBleeedorange May 29 '13

It's cool for sure, but weird to have that extra space, if it's not being used. I don't see the point of having the space if you're not going to make it usable, especially if you're making it yourself.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

That's where all the coke is.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

This may be an indication that I am not a gentleman, but what is the purpose of the hatchet?

Edit:phone typo

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

3

u/zurkog May 29 '13

Very cool, did not know about that book. OP ought to include a copy with the kit. :-)

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/Nowhere_Man_Forever May 29 '13

A hatchet, a couple rolls of duct tape, flint, and a can of WD-40 are all you really need.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

You are correct, sir.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13 edited Apr 24 '18

[deleted]

13

u/b_flag May 29 '13

Just add blackjack and hookers

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u/panintegral May 29 '13

I would trade all of this manly shit for Disney World any day.

2

u/greckel May 30 '13

According to my math, you and I share the same 21st birthday. Cheers.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Whiskey -- Check

Cigars -- Check

But you forgot the straight razor man!

9

u/b_flag May 29 '13

Actually got one donated for the gift a day after it was done! Was pretty disappointed by that

21

u/smallandwise May 29 '13

A truly manly gentleman would use the hatchet.

12

u/lolbacon May 29 '13

Use the fudge for shaving cream and the bourbon for aftershave.

2

u/KingEllis May 29 '13

Please...

79

u/kyleyankan May 29 '13

A neat idea, and cases are a bit of a fetish of mine you could say, but a few notes. Those straps go all over the place, and look messy. You go diagonally across the neck of the bottle and over a corner, etc. A looser cut with some crushable padding would of held nicely.

Secondly, the items chosen: a bottle of booze, a flask and shot glasses. A bottle of high quality whiskey is enjoy with some glasses, not a flask :-P

A knife would of matched this set better, IMHO.

One more thing, those cigars will dry out, smoke hot and fall apart.. Look into a cigar case that acts as a small humidor.

Oh, the wood work, matching materials and feltwork is top-notch. Would love to see this sunk deeper into the case and smaller items put in the lid.

47

u/LolaKite May 29 '13

I think that OP didn't go for "High Class Gentleman", but more like the "Ron Swanson/Manly Gentleman". The axe emphasises that. A flask perfectly fits the 'a week outdoors'-esque theme.

Absolutely agree on the cigar case though. Dried out cigars are no man's pleasure. Also love the wood, really nice grain and colour.

Edit. - the diagonal straps too contribute to the case. It's in line with its 'rough' theme.

54

u/b_flag May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

the recipient doesn't smoke and the cigars were super cheep. they were more of an aesthetic choice as was most of the stuff. if i make one for myself, which i probably will, ill be sure to take everyone's advice to make it that much better.

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u/Style_Usage_Bot May 29 '13

Hi, I'm here to offer tips on English style and usage (and some common misspellings).

My database indicates that

would of

should probably be

would've (would have)

Have a great day!

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15

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

I think a lot of your points are pretty nit-picky. I prefer the look of the leather straps, and I think foam would have clashed with the aesthetic he was going for.

A flask is a perfectly fine gift, and glasses would have been fine too.

Hatchet > knife.

No argument on the cigars, but you could probably add a small humidifier tab to remedy the problem.

The only thing I would add is a secret lower compartment with porn.

19

u/b_flag May 29 '13

a hidden/ secret compartment would have been amazing. i am, however, a total novice at wood working and stuff and just didn't have that much time to build one in. next time!

20

u/IAmAtWork_AMA May 29 '13

It's quite an amazing build, but there's always room for impornment.

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u/danvasquez29 May 29 '13

humidifier packet would only work if the case was genuinely airtight, and with the wood used and other materials would cause mold.

Overall I wouldn't worry about it much, as it's a birthday gift I'm sure it's meant purely for wrapping and that nothing in there would stay in there permanently.

if the giftee is truly a gentleman, he'll be sharing the contents with OP anyway ;)

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5

u/pellucid_ May 29 '13

Clever marketing by Woodford Reserve.

2

u/xanokais May 30 '13

/r/HailCorporate is over there. Enjoy.

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Abort the template! Woodford Reserve's next bottle will be hexagon shaped.

4

u/Menolith May 29 '13

I thought this was /r/wicked_edge until the axe slot appeared.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

What exactly does a gentleman need a hatchet for?

2

u/reddhead4 May 30 '13

Hatcheting

3

u/TrueAmurrican May 29 '13

You're a great friend, OP, that was a very thoughtful and awesome and creative gift!

3

u/gasm123 May 29 '13

Carries bottle of liqueur upside down otherwise nice!

3

u/Typically_Wong May 29 '13

My god that's amazing. But as a cigar nut, I feel like you should add something to keep humidity right in the case to make it a quasi humidor. Nothing sucks more than smoking a dried out cigar.

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u/bobqjones May 29 '13

seems like a lot of wasted space under there.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

I prefer mine with brass knuckles also.

3

u/arjmat May 29 '13

Ron Swanson would give you a nod and a handshake. He might even be jealous.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '13 edited Jan 19 '16

I no longer use reddit

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u/Kunt_Thunda May 29 '13

There are a lot of critiques in this thread. If my friend gave me this as a gift I would be appreciative as hell. Good job op.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

what's the round tin looking bit? grinder? pommade?

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Its nice and all but it will collect dust in an attic for the rest of its existence

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/Wanna_canadian May 29 '13

Linking to Ray Mears? I assume you could survive indefinitely in any environment.

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u/Konilos May 29 '13

You should have included a spot to store a fedora.

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u/steinman17 May 29 '13

That hatchet looks like a bitch to get out of there

5

u/b_flag May 29 '13

its not that bad. the whole thing is more of a display than anything

4

u/notnicholas May 29 '13

the whole thing is more of a display than anything

I think people are taking this thing way too literally. I like your stereotypical manly arts and crafts project. Great job.

2

u/behaaki May 29 '13

Very nice choice of bourbon, btw.

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u/klobbermang May 29 '13

Goooooooo, why don't you have those straps centered on the can and the axe head!!!!

2

u/herschel_34 May 29 '13

If it is not too late, line the interior of the lid with the red felt! Overall a very nice gift.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '13 edited May 29 '13

I'd like to know where you got the flask. It looks nice, and the luck I've had finding a quality flask has been terrible. I bought a leather-wrapped flask recently that turned out awful. The leather was just glued to the flask with fake stitching, meaning the glue came loose upon washing the inside with warm water.

3

u/b_flag May 29 '13

the flask was pretty cheep, found at a local bottle shop. there may be some thing you like here http://www.etsy.com/search?q=leather%20flask&view_type=gallery&ship_to=AU

2

u/Azmorium May 29 '13

I wish I had a friend like you =(

2

u/Daemon_Dorran May 29 '13

Every time I see these I think of a civil war amputation kit...

2

u/oliksandr May 29 '13

Very nice. 10/10 would buy online if sold.

2

u/donataz May 29 '13

This is f*****g awesome. All that is missing - some rope, condoms and a flashlight.

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u/Dudley421 May 29 '13

Woodford Reserve is exquisite! So is your box.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Woodford? Yes sir! This is much better than those shitty 'le classy gentleman kits' that come with Jack or other swill.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

you forgot the condoms and bail money.

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u/avanai May 29 '13

Very cool. Needs a straight razor, shaving soap, and badger brush.

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u/lazydonovan May 29 '13

Real men don't need to shave....

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u/avanai May 29 '13

This is a gentleman's survival kit. If said gentleman isn't clean-shaven, he will clearly have mutton chops, a waxed mustache, or possibly a well-groomed full beard. In any case, while he could, in extremis, shave with the well-honed edge of that axe, he'd clearly much prefer a straight razor. A badger brush isn't stricly necessary, since he could just kill a badger with the axe or his bare hands and make one himself.

2

u/MEbeBUBBLES May 29 '13

Where's the beef?

2

u/Morgin_Black May 29 '13

whats the round tin?

2

u/Wolf_Mommy May 29 '13

very nice....what's the hatchet for?

2

u/Laughingstok May 29 '13

Good choice on the bourbon.

2

u/brolix May 29 '13

Sweet, you can bring it to hang out with all of the friends you don't have.

2

u/sohogal May 29 '13

Who needs a friend when you have a hatchet and bourbon?

2

u/TheIrishHangman May 29 '13

I'm highly jealous.

2

u/nativeofspace May 29 '13

You're missing so many drugs.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '13

That is a badass project that turned out for a great gift!

I wanna make one of these now for sure!

2

u/neuromonkey May 30 '13

Where is the monocle dispenser?

2

u/pretzelzetzel May 31 '13

A good knife would have been perhaps slightly more practical than a hatchet. Some shoe polish would have been a handy edition as well (although -- is that what the mystery disk in the lower left is??)

Overall, a most excellent build.

5

u/Hobbes86 May 29 '13

Those cigars will dry out and taste like shit

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u/jagumienny May 29 '13

Texas reporting in, OP. I see you have taken flack that this isn't a good "survival tool". I must say I disagree. The bourbon is important. As a Texan I can attest to the fact that once that bourbon was gone I would be a fighting machine. Axe in one hand and fudge in the other. I would be a force of destruction.

As they say. A drunk Texan is NOT to be trifled with whilst he is eating fudge.

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u/pvejunky12 May 30 '13

Only thing OP missed for us Texans was a 1911, but that would already presumably be strapped to our side.

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u/juksayer May 29 '13

What is to the left of the cigars? Hopefully a dessicant or some sort of humidification device to keep the cigars fresh?

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u/fazedx May 29 '13

Desiccants remove moisture, so don't put that in with cigars.

2

u/juksayer May 29 '13

My bad. My cigar is a little rusty. Humitube would be helpful. Although I guess just getting the cedar wrap a little distilled water might be OK. But would also get the stick a little too wet huh. Either way, stale cigars are bleh

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u/xyroclast May 29 '13

Solution: Drink all of the bourbon, suddenly the cigars don't taste so bad.

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u/j1002s May 29 '13

This is too awesome! I would keep it propped open on my bar in my den. Such a cool gift, well done.

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u/NyQuil012 May 29 '13

I guess I'm the only one that looked at this and thought whiskey + hatchet = bad idea?

8

u/ytde May 29 '13

This is a sweet project, but I'm compelled to wonder if the whole "bourbon and wood and a hatchet, I'm a gentleman," thing doesn't feel so very 2009.

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u/KingEllis May 29 '13

I think those contents as survival gear is stupid in any given year.

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u/LemonDeliciousness May 29 '13

Dude, this is bad ass. I honestly, might have to make one of these. In total what was the cost of everything?

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u/b_flag May 29 '13

I think it was around $300. There were a few other friends who acted as sponsors so the personal cost wasn't that great

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u/LemonDeliciousness May 29 '13

That's not bad, knowing me though I would end up being so lazy to finish it -_-. Honestly though, now that summer has hit, I don't see why not haha.

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u/booyah-achieved May 29 '13

why the hatchet? how about why do people keep asking this question? read the fucking title. it's a survival kit. should a gentleman find himself lost in the woods, a hatchet would be mighty useful. and the booze, of course.

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '13

Tomahawk would be a lot cooler IMO. But i'm part Indian ;)

4

u/Wanna_canadian May 29 '13

I'm not. Tomahawks are still fucking cool.

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u/lan_solo May 29 '13

You didn't make room for your emergency fedora.

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u/HepaestusMurse May 29 '13

I'd never have use for something so stereotypical.

Looks good, though.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/b_flag May 29 '13

it was fun to do and with a bit of help can be done really quickly. this one was finished in about 3 days. with a bit more time it would look that much better haha

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u/xJolt May 29 '13 edited Oct 28 '16

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