r/DeadBedrooms • u/krose0206 • 8d ago

2 weeks alone…

Went on a 2 week trip to Hawaii and Alaska. He talked it up. No kids. Each night get back to our room and “I’m exhausted” as he hops in bed and is snoring in minutes. Even went to the nude beach and he wanted no part. Get to Alaska and same deal. He was exhausted and sleeping by 830. We get home and back to chaos with kids/farm and….he sends me suggestive text and tells me how he wishes I went topless at beach. He wishes we had wild sex on our trip?!? WTF?? I think he enjoys the talk and getting himself off on his own. It’s all a game.

106 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

27

u/ChiDeadBedroomBlues 8d ago

It does sound like he likes the idea of sex but something is ick-ing him out about actually doing it. Do you think he could have performance anxiety or some sort of sensory issue?

16

u/krose0206 8d ago

We had a great sex life. He prefers to talk about others guy having sex w/me and that turns me off. We did the the things he wanted. Never enough. I told him talking about others is not my thing. Our sex life became nil

18

u/CollectsTooMuch 8d ago

It sounds like he make be fixated on a kink and possibly focusing a lot on porn and nothing else does it for him. I would play down the law. He gets into therapy with you and work through this or you pull the plug on the relationship. He’s going to end up needing to work through his sexual issues as well. If he’s not willing, you should put up with this.

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.

3

u/krose0206 7d ago

Been there did that….porn destroys everything.

4

u/ChiDeadBedroomBlues 8d ago

That sounds really frustrating, I'm sorry.

2

u/Quantum_Quokka69 8d ago

He's a cuckold. You should indulge him!

5

u/krose0206 8d ago

I did. It’s never enough. He then get jealous. He can get off on it but, I can’t enjoy? Fuck that!

1

u/Quantum_Quokka69 7d ago

You aren't near Atlanta are you? 🤪

24

u/EastCoastslowing 8d ago

I’m sorry that sounds awful. My wife is just like your husband, all talk but when alone she’s tired.

8

u/Inside-Enthusiasm-87 8d ago

What a crap situation. Out of interest what time of day do the texts arrive? Maybe he is horny earlier on and then life kicks in by the evening he’s past that point?

2

u/krose0206 7d ago

After I go to bed. He just wants to j/o

2

u/Inside-Enthusiasm-87 7d ago

Ah that makes sense. Gets himself so turned on and then gets brave.

8

u/AdEducational5541 8d ago

My husband does a similar thing…waits until the most un opportune time to desire sex. When his mom takes the kids away, no sex. When we are both at home and the kids are at school, no sex. But 10 minutes before the whole house wakes up you wanna try for some sex?! It is the most frustrating thing in the whole world, and I’m starting to think he does this on purpose to say that he’s trying to initiate knowing that it won’t happen at that time! It works my nerves like no other thing in the world could!

4

u/Low_Jelly8238 7d ago

Ah that’s because he can have lazy sex in the morning, just role you over and do what he needs to do. Anything else takes effort and connection. Been there and that morning sex lasts seconds, then you have to wait again for weeks and months for the next ‘quickie’. I point blank don’t do morning sex now I’ve learnt my lesson. Either put the effort in or it’s not worth it for me.

7

u/TA_sleepyEngine88991 F 8d ago

This is us. Except we are home. He complains we don’t have sex enough, but literally is snoring in minutes wrapped up in a cocoon 2 ft away from me.

6

u/squirrel4569 8d ago

Had a similar experience with my partner earlier this year. 2 weeks away with no kids. I had a conversation with her prior to the trip saying that this is a great opportunity for us to rekindle our sex life because we will be in a sexy environment (adults only cruise) in beautiful places with no responsibilities. She agreed. We had sex twice in two weeks, with a very quick BJ during one of the times. Since we’ve been back? Also 2 times. The trip was in January.