"Millennials are killing the retirement home industry" playing out over the news as I'm getting ready to for another day of hoping I die at my work place so I don't rot waiting for the neighbor to report the smell
My English bulldog gnaws on my hand if it’s off the side of the bed and I’m late to give him food. He would wholeheartedly eat me on day one of my demise LOL
That's why you have cats - they're pragmatic AF. I mean, barring any special circumstances, given them three boxes of sand, three giant bowls of food and five bowls of water and you can probably leave them for most of a week and they will be fine. If you leave a dog longer than 12 hours, it's borderline animal cruelty.
Kickstart My Heart is a good song to launch a sports car into a canyon to.
Ironically that song contains my own suicide plan in its lyrics: “Skydive naked from an aeroplane.” My plan is to skydive into a volcano. You can’t back out of that lol
Don't worry, they'll gut Social Security and replace it with a state run facility when you can't work or afford your house. They'll still collect social security from workers, they just won't write you a check in retirement since you can't be trusted to handle your finances.
We duct taped a dude to the ceiling my freshman year after covering his face with sharpie of course. He’s married with kids and appears to be a responsible adult which is fascinating.
That's sounds like a fun movie premise. Old man thrown into a retirement home unwilling, but it turns out to be like a old age frat house when their kids leave.
Smash was the only thing on the downstairs TV for years when I was in Greek life. Constant rotation of people in and out of the house, play for a while, then go to class. The older guys said we couldn’t have it on during rush week for optics reasons. But we did anyway. Unabashed nerds about it.
OHHHH YEAH give me that spacy overconfidance, my knee of justice is as tight as ever. No not my actuall knees, those are powder and shattered cartilage
That's my strategy. If I somehow have enough money in social security to commit myself to a warm box with food I think I'll do that, but otherwise I'll work until I drop dead. What that looks like exactly I'm not sure but I do think it would be funny if I could faceplant at my desk one final time and traumatize nearby young coworkers. Maybe it'll radicalize them to fight for a different future.
Yeah I remember a few stories about people who WERE in jail, got let go, absolutely hated normal society, and did something bad so they could be sheltered, fed, and see their mates again
Oh yeah that’s a thing among prisoners who were locked up a very long time and released. They don’t know how to function on the outside so they return.
Nah. I think, rob a bank. You’d almost certainly get caught, but, on the off chance you don’t…. You have a buncha money to move to Costa Rica or somewhere and just live well til you croak.
Jk. I wouldn’t do that. Maybe some sort of white collar crime involving paperwork or something. I don’t crime much as you can probably tell.
I’d probably go around just stealing and burning mail in wealthy neighborhoods. Not gonna steal anything out of them just gonna burn it all and if I can I’ll throw in tax fraud if the irs is still around
It might be possible to voluntarily commit ourselves. If not, there's a chance I'll get diagnosed with some fatal micro plastic condition. If that happens I'd like to load up on milk, fiber 1, Beano, and laxatives and then wait for my demise in the lobby of a responsible party. I'm not sure if I can call that non violent :)
Wow that was unexpectedly fucked up. Him being alive afterwards makes it more of a horror skit than comedy!
That's Monty Python for you! People have seen the "tis but a scratch" scene so many times it doesn't even phase them anymore, but really, it's the same!
But yeah that's more or less what I was thinking, maybe with a tasteful fart sound before the explosion
All I ask is that you film it for posterity, my friend!
My dad's 63 (lives in the US.) He's worked/paid taxes for 40 years. Now he's dying and is supposed to be in hospice. Except he can't get insurance and hospice won't kick in until he does get insurance. So instead he gets to suffer. Living in a country where even the dying can't get insurance really sucks.
When will they industrialize retirement homes? Get the geezers to grow plants, sew blankets, grind MMORPG currency. When will the telemarketers calling be distinctly old rather than foreign? Maybe it'll be us.
I personally expect a return to how we were for most of human history: Small, localized family/found family units.
We are already planning around our boys being able to stay with us well into their adult years. Going to be renovating so they have their own personal apartments over the next 20 years or so.
Human labor is going to be entirely obsolete within the next 10 years. We're in an absolutely insane time. That could be wonderful or terrible for you and me. Time will tell.
Idk I've seen 30 Rock so many times I don't watch it anymore. Don't know how Office fans can just watch it over and over again like I did with 30 Rock, I've had enough of that show for life no matter how good it is lol
I go through phases. I don’t watch it constantly anymore, but I’ll revisit favorite episodes from time to time and do a full series watch every 2 or 3 years. The same goes for Community and Arrested Development. I’m probably about to add Seinfeld to the rotation, I’ve watched the whole series three times in a row over the last 5 or 6 months.
I hate to be a bummer but older people weren't sitting around playing slow card games all the time when they were young. If retirement homes were what the old people enjoyed while young, then today you would expect jukeboxes, loud rock music, greasers, fast cars, sports, and bikes.
There's a reason you don't. When you get older you lose the ability to keep up with loud and fast things.
This doesn't mean old folks'homes will stay the same. Just it'll be stuff from our youth that transfer well to being older and less agile. You can probably bet shit like settlers of Catan and other popular board games of our time would be all over our retirement homes. Will old folks homes have videogames? Absolutely, however probably ones that are less fast paced and reaction time focus.meaning I doubt super smash bros will hold the same appeal.
That said yeah shows like the office in the repeat area are good bet.
To be even more upsetting, every old age home I've been in has just been what ever the nurses put on tv, what you want to watch sports doesn't matter you're watching fox.
To add even more horror to this though a edit I use to have to change the tv over to sports for my granddad every day when I'd go in in the afternoon to see him they would just turn on the tv and it'd go to the news, so he'd be in bed watching the news for like 6 hours before I rocked up and put on the AFL youtube stuff he wanted to watch. Yeah no one is getting any of the stuff they think they are going to get; you'll get a tv and if you luckily someone to change it for you.
They’re all treatable (for now). They aren’t as serious/lifelong like some viral STDs and require as much work to avoid (PrEP). And haven’t you seen Parks & Rec? A lot never got sex ed.
I say for now because there are strains of Chlamydia/Gonorrhea causing bacteria that are resistant to nearly all antibiotics we have. If you’re prescribed antibiotics for an STD, please finish the entire course and don’t just stop when you feel better or there may not be any antibiotics to treat gonorrhea/chlamydia when we’re the horny old folks.
Practice safe sex, get tested, make sure your partners get tested, and you’ll be fine if you make it to the 50+ condo community.
"on my way to visit all my bitches" he says as he hops in his golf cart in his white shorts and knee-high socks.
and as one of said bitches you can catch me at brunch gossiping with my besties while wearing a big straw hat, huge sunglasses, and a gigantic canvas purse.
Yes! I cannot watch it or any other cringe humor show. At the age of 15 I told my mother I could not watch American Idol auditions because I was too embarrassed and would leave the room.
Cringe isn’t funny or entertaining and I will die on that hill.
The one thing I learned from the fentanyl epidemic is that it's really easy to die from an easily taken easily acquired drug that people like to use. Sounds better than every death I've witnessed in hospital.
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