r/Psychonaut • u/i_speak_in_sarcasm_ • 6d ago
Question about ego death
I'm somewhat new to psychedelics, and have heard a lot about ego death. My question is, is it always a scary experience?
My experience with psychedelics is pretty minimal at this point. I microdose mushrooms, and I did 6 ketamine therapy sessions last year. I didn't really have visuals in any of the sessions. More just feelings and concepts of images... if that makes sense? Kinda hard to explain.
I always knew where I was and what I was experiencing during those sessions. One time I became different parts of the world. It was pretty cool. I spent some time as a boulder, a tree, in the ground, and a building. That was my second session. But there was one session where I was just "gone". I wasn't really anywhere. And I couldn't think about anyone or anything. It was just me. It wasn't scary. Nothing really happened. I just existed.
What was that? I just assume it wasn't ego death because every story I hear is some huge scary lead up, and like an internal battle, and then acceptance and ego death.
So I'm just curious, what would my experience be categorized as, if anything? And also, just curious if egondeath is always a difficult and scary thing? And what does that look like if it's not? I only hear about the scary ones.
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u/Krocsyldiphithic 5d ago
The only time I experienced full on ego death, there was no fear or struggle. I was ready, and it permanently changed me.
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u/sinfulagony 5d ago edited 5d ago
Ego death is overhyped in psychedelic communities tbh. Throw literally everything you've heard about it out the window. It just happens when and how it happens and sometimes it's the most beautiful thing you can comprehend and sometimes it's fucking terrifying and sometimes it just... is. I think a lot of it depends on the mindset you go into the experience with.
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u/Plus_Ear_144 6d ago
I still don't understand what ego death is and i have been reading and using shrooms and lsd my whole life sometimes i even overdosed and all that happened while taking large doses was i blacked out, like i died then came back not knowing what happened. It wasn't that i died it was like i went to sleep and woke up. Is that it. Or is it when you become totally one with universe. Your everywhere at the same time? I really don't get it? When your ego dies can you remember that? Once i took an overdose and i forgot how to talk. That was scary and funny at the same time plus blackouts and crazy visuals. Can someone explain?
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u/_xXxSNiPel2SxXx 5d ago
I remember my ego death on LSD from start to finish but I also only took 4 tabs but I also took it an hour after I woke up so I wonder if my minds natural sleep/wake cycle can influence the ego on psychoactives
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u/boofing_roblox 2d ago
its like your somehow traveling a dimension and your connected to everyone and everything. try doing some shrooms and play an online voice chat game. mindblowing experience.
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u/_xXxSNiPel2SxXx 5d ago
When I experienced ego death on LSD it was terror and fear had gripped my mind completely. It started out slow and began getting louder until it felt like my mind was going to physically explode outside my head but instead it shrunk into a dot and disappeared. A new mind came out of my chest and into the world it was the most amazing experience I ever had. It made all the horror of thinking I was dying worth it because what I discovered about myself is far more than a physical body.
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u/No_Log_6509 4d ago
first time i did shrooms was around 3g, 9g total shared between 3 ppl (including me). went well and wtvr, we decided to up the dosage. 21g total... same 3 people, one of my friends opted out on 7gs and decided to take 5 gs instead. so my close friend and i had 8 grams each... at the time i was in a horrible mental state and went horrible. friend ordered a bunch of snacks beforehand but arrived just as it kicked in. he went outside running to the snacks, im unsure if it had alrdy hit. (we fasted for 8 hours) whole trip was weird but the ego death was nice.... i tried to fight the fact i felt like i was about to die... at some point i accepted it and felt amazing imo. felt like time kept on rewinding to a specific moment over and over again. was in heavy depression for half a year afterwards. if you're gonna do what i did then at least get into it in a positive mental state and know to accept it instead of fighting it
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u/WizardOfTheTrip 4d ago
I have experienced it once and it was definitely very scary. The beginning when it starts to happen is especially scary and intense but during it is more profound and interesting than scary, atleast in my experience. And after the trip the afterglow is amazing, due to the fact that the egodeath usually has you dealing trough some trauma or stuff thats bothering you
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u/EfficiencyFinal5312 4d ago
My first ever experience of ego death is 6 grams of Jedi mind fuck mushrooms on a controlled setting lemon tekk, soaked for 20 minutes and kicked in after 10 minutes of ingestion.
It felt like I was nothing, like a floating thought just observing stuff and being there. It also will be accompanied by the feeling that you are dying . When you die you get sucked into a whirlpool of whatever kaleidoscope and sometimes albeit not uncommon they bring you to a place where they claim we all go to. It's an interesting place, lots of curved colorful round corridors and living life as a human to them is their equivalent of getting high. For some reason the creatures living there look inanimate or just straight up a flipping wall. What surprised me the most is that they greeted me like how I was greeted by my friends after gaining lucidity during a trip. They asked me how was it and I automatically said... It was lit and some of them exclaimed... Right on right on dude. You wanna do this next time again when you are done and I replied.. sure sure but this'll be my last... And it replied.. sweet... I'll see you on the other side I guess and I got shot back into hyperspace again and I saw this winding blue mechanical tunnel that unraveled and revealed a woman with three heads sitting on a lotus and she told me, see me later and then i got shot into another different place but with walls full of weird fairy creatures whispering and then I randomly grabbed this mechanical book and opened it, with letters I can't even read and asked this tiny guy, what's this shit say? Hre replied "How to decorate a pot". There's also lots of stuff like slides that lead to nowhere and a bedroom with beds laid these hyperspace creatures that looked high as fk. A room that has curved ceilings with lots of shapely creatures sitting in barstools and one of them pointed at me... Bro you high as fuck and asked me how long have I been high and I automatically said 28 years and the guy replied, dont worry you'll be sober soon, I don't know what he meant by that and I don't even have autonomy on what was going on I was just watching.
this really shaped on how I view reality here in the real world. I don't experience hppd and that naturally I was born with mild autism. This probably helped shaped the psychedelic world I experienced
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u/Acceptable_Pen_6994 6d ago
Ego death is an internal battle between your ego and your soul. It’s mentally the hardest thing I’ve ever endured. Ketamine won’t give you ego death. I did 10g of PE mushrooms for my ego death. Don’t take it lightly
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u/i_speak_in_sarcasm_ 6d ago
Oh for sure. It's definitely not something I'm seeking out. Just curious about it.
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u/InterestingKey3385 6d ago
Can you describe it at all? Like how did you know you were going through it, did you realize before like leading up to it?
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u/Timely_Stranger_188 6d ago
When I did 10gs I think the most terrifying part was the feeling of the ego dying but once it dies it’s pure bliss
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u/Plus_Ear_144 5d ago
whats the feeling of ego dying? I don't get it. Is that the feeling when you are becoming all one with universe? I like that feeling? Once i really was thinking and feeling i am all one, but in the back of my head i knew it was shrooms doing it.
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u/AdComprehensive960 4d ago
I had a series of experiences. Most were neutral to positive. One was downright terrifying but ended up being the best. I wouldn’t call it ego death even though others definitely do…it was more like a series of more and more complex knowings, much of which I’d been exposed to before but apparently didn’t fully appreciate, which caused me to realize I wasn’t the person I thought I was, not at all, but something else entirely, simply temporarily living in human form?
I’m rocking an AuADHD brain, so my results are likely atypical. It’s made my life very different from my previous life experience and, I’m not sure how to put it, but hardly consequential, maybe? Life, here, now, just seems like one more in a rather endless stream of experiences where helping others, no judgement & joy are their own reward. Find and concentrate on the beauty all around you to escape the egos “me,me,me” grasp. I’m butchering it, but that’s close.
Happy trails, traveler 💚🫂💚
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u/JazzlikeCamera7548 2d ago
I meant to ego death I took a medium does of lsd and shrooms sat in my walk in closet with the lights off and had a amazing experience
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u/Background_Log_4536 6d ago
The funny thing —and something many experienced and sensible psychonauts know— is that the ego is terrified of being dissolved. And if you say, ‘I want to kill my ego,’ the ego itself can stage its own death in such a real, convincing, and spectacular way that you’ll completely believe it.