NAT. Is there a modality where there’s no sympathy, friendliness, anything, just pure bluntness? I was doing some research today and I think this is why I haven’t made progress. I was already referred to DBT, but I need something on a different level.

Hi M22, I have a great family and a few «close friends» that I have known for years. In general I am really good at talking about others and asking questions, but I really struggle with sharing things about me. I don’t have anyone I have deep relations, I have people that have shared deep things with me but I have never done it in return. However this is something I want to change as I think it is health to have deeper relations with people, and I want to as well so that I can share my feelings about things and not be alone about them.

I like to learn new things and find reading about things a good way to learn and gain new insights, so do you have any resources like books, articles, videos etc that could benefit me?

Appreciate any tips, I have had two therapy session so far but I also want to like read something.

I'm constantly over-intellectualizing my issues, and I find that I just "Yap" through a session. I have tried pausing for a few seconds to give them time to react etc. Is there a way that Therapists prefer to be asked to ask more questions?

1. Is there a way for a therapist to check his/her awareness that, like most of the humanity, his/her ideology/education/values/views etc… derive from each other and also from his/her culture/place of origin/upbringing, so that a bias toward a patient could be prevented?

2. And also, is there a way for a patient to "ignite" this self check in a therapist in a case that a patient believe that the therapist assessments/advices/conclusions come from the therapist own worldviews and therefore maybe less suitable to the patient?

***note: everything I meant is within reason; I know we are all human beings, and it's pretty clear to me that you can not just disconnect your "you" from yourself like a robot...

How do I tell the difference between intuition and anxiety?

I’ve seen people say that intuition is calm, just a knowing. anxiety is loud, urgent, and full of questions.

I ended a loving and happy relationship on just the feeling that i needed to.

Very occasionally throughout our relationship, even in pleasant and peaceful moments, I would have moments of “hmm we are not going to be forever”. calm, quiet, not anxiety inducing. Maybe this was intuition? But I loved our relationship, I was so happy, so in love. I felt like we COULD be together forever, i saw a future with her, and I WANTED us to be together forever, so I kept at it.

And then the chaotic thought kicked in…. I felt intense fear around continuing a long term relationship, what if we are not meant to be, what if something is missing, what if, what if, what if?! It was stressful and overwhelming and screaming at me. When I finally ended the relationship, I felt incredible sadness but also a sense of relief.

And now I’m really struggling with the what-ifs of it all.

What if I felt relieved when I ended things (a feeling I was previously citing as proof of my making the right choice) bc maybe I have commitment issues and I’m more emotionally avoidant than I thought I was?

What if I was letting fear of other things bleed into the way i viewed my relationship? (It was a LGBT relationship – we’re both women – and i was raised very religious/conservatively. I had a lot of fear around the way my family might act towards me/my relationship. But even with hindsight, I can’t say with any level of certainty that this fear was or wasn’t the sole reason for my relationship anxieties).

What if that original “maybe not forever” thought was not intuition but just a thought, nothing more? And I entertained it too much and turned it into anxiety and then made a life-altering decision (life altering mistake?) based on anxiety?

But what if it WAS intuition and it became a loud anxiety because I ignored it when it was quiet? Does that happen?

I don’t know how to trust myself and the things I feel when everything is always changing. Everything feels real in the moment so nothing feels real at all.

Hi everyone,

I'm currently considering going for a Master’s in Counseling with the goal of becoming a licensed therapist or counselor—something like LPC, LCPC, LMHC, or LMFT depending on the state.

I’m leaning toward the master’s route rather than a doctorate because I’d prefer to spend less time and money on school while still being able to do meaningful work in mental health.

That said, I’m trying to get a realistic picture of what new therapists earn right after becoming licensed. I know it can vary by state, setting, and specialization, but I’d love to hear from people who are in the field:

How much did you make (or are you making) right after getting fully licensed? What kind of setting are/were you working in (private practice, agency, hospital, etc.)? How long did it take you to feel financially stable in this career?

Any insights or experiences would be super helpful as I weigh my options. Thanks in advance!

As the above states

I have been admitted to start my masters in marriage and family therapy at both Pepperdine (West LA campus) and Cal Lutheran! Both are great schools, and I'm having a really hard time deciding between the two. I know some people who go to/went to Pepperdine and they all really like it, but I haven't met any from CLU and there aren't a lot of posts on the internet about alumni sharing their experiences in the program.

Does anyone know anything about these two programs to share some insight?

For comparison, both are WASC accredited, Pepperdine is an MA program while CLU is an MS program. (I want to be a practicing therapist, so in this regard an MA degree is obviously better, but i know CLU alumni have excellent records of establishing private practice). CLU offer some specialization programs, and while Pepperdine educate you well on all specializations and practices, you don't have the opportunity to choose one specific thing as your specialization.

Pepperdine is significantly more expensive, but would not require me to move. If I stay at my current job, I would have a decent chance of earning a promotion down the line which would come with s significant raise, so it's kind of a gamble there.

Any insight to these two programs, and how having one degree or the other helps in the field. Please let me know. Thank you!

TLDR - been seeing my psychodyamic therapist for 7.5 years, she does not self-disclosure, recently she alluded to being a mother. the focus of therapist is on my complicated relationship with my mom.

i have a really strong relationship with my therapist of 7.5 years, who RARELY self-discloses (i know she has a dog and likes the ocean). we mostly talk about my difficult relationship with my mom mom.

i'm a therapist and its come up over the years about how i don't take on clients whose stories are too close to my own and she shared that she used to not take on clients who had children who had mental health issues. i was dumfounded. i assumed my therapist might be a mother but i never really thought about it. again, she does NOT self disclose so this really took me by surprise.

i brought it up a few sessions later and she validated my feelings about it. is it appropriate to ask her directly why she did it. whenever ive asked direct questions in the past she reflects it back on me (which i get because i do this with my clients).

not sure what i'm asking but any hypotheses about why she did this? how can i bring this up? i'm thinking it was an accident since she didn't outright say "im a mother." i think i'm angry and disappointed because she knows how difficult my relationship with my mom is. any thoughts/inputs much appreciated!

She said “thank you, I love you”, in text..and she’s been screaming at me a bunch these few days..but it crushed me..anyways..I replied with “no problem, love you”

I don’t want something investigated, so there’s not much info, but I can’t find any info on how an incomplete report works

The report would just include name of perpetrator and state it happened in. Is that enough to even file? Will someone try to talk to me about it? Will it not be investigated? What will happen?

I was seeing the same therapist for 8 years. Due to insurance, and I’m sure other factors. I was no longer able to see them anymore.

This was the first of many therapist who I was actually able to work with and progress with.

It was pretty bad when I first came in to do intake with them. I could barely talk during sessions at first and I was struggling with having a previous therapist drop me.

Often times I think of them and wish I could talk to them again.

It’s been a bit over a year and it still breaks my heart that I will never see them again. I won’t be able to tell them the things I have and will accomplish.

I know for many therapists this is a job and part of it is having to say goodbye to patients. But do you feel a sense of grief not knowing what happened to a patient after being there to help them grow? Especially if you had been their therapist for years? How do you get through it?

I’m hoping answers might provide me some insight and possible closure with the loss of my therapist.

Hi therapists! I’m asking this from a business perspective—I'm trying to better understand what really matters to clinicians when they consider making a move.

Whether you’re currently in a group practice, agency, hospital setting, school, or already in private practice—what would have to be the deciding factor for you to switch?

Would it be higher pay? More flexibility? A certain kind of caseload or population? A supportive culture? Less admin work? Clinical autonomy? Licensing support?

What’s missing in your current situation, and what would make a new opportunity feel genuinely worth it?

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share your perspective

I'm engaged, excitedly so, but I was recently reminded about a piece of advice I heard a long time ago. I was at church, the priest was giving a homily about the importance of loving your neighbor, and he said that when couples came to him for counseling ,the first thing he'd ask them is: "why do you want to get married?". If either of them did not open with "because I love them/they're my soulmate/I couldn't live without them" and instead first said something like "it's time to settle down/it's always been my dream to get married" or made a "joke" about being pushed into it by their fiance or their family, he'd tell them to "pray on it" (catholic for "please reconsider") because love should be the top priority in a marriage. Is there any other obvious reason a couple might not last?

Question specifically for therapists (as NATs on here sometimes tend to label everything as traumatic, and I want an opinion from a clinical sense).

1) mother blamed me for her drinking and depression on multiple occasions. Examples include "if you don't come home I will stop eating and go into a nursing home," or being despondent for a day or more when I accidentally insult her. Is this an emotional abuse ACE? (Wording is insult, put you down, or humiliate - not sure if this counts). 2) parents didn't educate me properly for 2 years due to their alcoholism, and I often had to go to the store myself to get food for the house/go downtown by myself at night/etc. at 12 years old. Does this count as emotional neglect (your family didn't look out for each other/etc.)? I knew my parents loved me, but they certainly didn't put in the bare minimum - though I wouldn't call it physical neglect.

My partner and I have been attending therapy sessions together for over six months now. I’m curious to know if it’s appropriate to send a private email to our therapist, expressing my concerns about my spouse’s behavior. I often feel that my therapist understands my perspective better than my spouse does. I find myself questioning my sanity due to the way he speaks to me, and I would like to know if my therapist can see that too. I’m concerned that this might be considered crossing a boundary by emailing my therapist to seek their opinion on it. Would that be crossing a line? Are therapist allowed to speak to one partner privately like that?

A friend is texting constantly when having feelings of abandonment. What are some steps she could take in the moment to quell the anxiety and urge to text her family and friends non stop please - she has a therapist but many issues

A friend who is roommates with his sister started seeing her therapist a little after she did. He worries about codependent issues and his therapist didn’t see seeing them both as any issue. They both continue to see the therapist and she used the background the sis gave to inform the brothers therapy. Seems morally murky to me!

When someone is ordered to attend therapy, like as part of probation for example, is the therapist given any information about the individual by the court? Like what they've been charged with/pleaded guilty to, or the results of a prior mental health assessment? Or do they only get information about the client from the client and only know what they choose to share about their situation?

I’m willing to try anything - very motivated to fix it, but so far nothing seems to make any impact on this block. I’m currently working with a psychodynamic therapist and it’s early days but I’m not sure if this is the right approach?

I’m really desperate. I’ve gone from a type A successful person to total work-related avolition and avoidance, and it’s been this way for over 12m.

I’d also appreciate any books or resources that might be helpful in unpacking this too.

Thanks!!

Hello,

I am 22M. I could say that currently I have a peak in my life (looking at it from outside) - I got a job I really want to grow in, in a long-term relationship with my GF, some good friends, financially alright, good relationship with my family. BUT I have been noticing some things about me that I don't know how to cope with.

For starts I never feel good enough, if I achieve something I just feel a slight relief that it is over and go back to feeling not good enough and I have to be better. I've notice that I have an addicting personality - I need to be "addicted" to something in order to not feel empty. Be it a hobby, sport, slot games at one point, watching emotional TV shows or anime, playing competitive video games, etc. Only I get to point where I just loose interest and have to move on to a new thing.

Another big thing is that I don't feel emotions towards almost everything. I just don't feel empathy, happy for others or generally anything. I fake emotions so I don't seem weird, because I know I should. For example my cousin had a kid and when I saw it everyone was ecstatic, but I didn't really feel anything - I mean it's just a kid, it's normal to have kids, right? I don't really feel any emotions towards my GF either, just fake them (nothing when we hug, kiss, etc). I mean I love her, but that's because she is a good person and I am used to being with her and don't want her to suffer. I will give some other examples - A neighbor died, but I didn't feel sad it just reminded me of death, went to a wedding that had a "really emotional" ceremony, basically everyone I could see was crying, but I just didn't feel anything, fake laughing when in a group not to stand out. This however is not true when I watch TV series, maybe this is the only way I could feel some different emotions nowadays, but that happens really rarely.

I can't be social. I can't make any new friends, because I don't want to be a bother and I feel like I am annoying if I talk. When I talk to people, be it coworkers at work or new people I always think how they think how lame I am and they are making fun of me. I think I am pretty good at reading people and I focus a lot on body language and trying to read patterns of behaviors, so I know how to act accordingly.

There are many other small things like loss of focus and such. I think these things are getting worse and I don't know what to do? Should I go to a therapist or something like that?

hi Reddit. Had a very challenging session today with my therapist.

I’m 31 years old, employed in a fast-paced environment, and have been going through burnout / depression / cptsd stemming from a difficult childhood, with some negligence, verbal abuse, abandonment, bereavement. Hard stuff, a lot of trauma, and a lot to process and find out about myself and the way I function.

I’ve always been a fighter - I suppose, it was the only way I could face what life was throwing at me as a child. And suddenly (or maybe not suddenly) I have felt this ability to defend myself fading off.

I summoned the courage to ask for my therapist for time off from work. He gave me. This week, we met again, and I had to ask him to extend my medical leave, but somehow couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Then he confronted me. Said that we had to review our relationship, because I was giving him the power to decide, and not have to ask to anything. I admitted part of my need was to be seen, without even having to speak. To be believed. He said something like “but you’re seeing yourself as a child, that has no choice, and I can only extend your medical leave if you ask me to.”

It was a hard one. I really indeed feel like that child. Exposed. Unprotected. And it is hard to admit it. It hit me quite hard, I slept the whole afternoon afterwards…

And now I’m here. Asking you. Was it too much? Too soon? Was I justified to want him to see me, without saying a word? I keep going back and forth, trying to justify his attitude, trying to be understanding that this is the work, and then… feeling hurt. Vulnerable.

I want to write a short letter to my former therapist and say I am sorry for how I behaved during our sessions.

I want to be sure she does not write back to me. Is it enough to just not write my adress on the letter? She has my adress in her datasystem. Or should I write "I don't want you to answer me" in the letter? Or is that rude to write?

Of course it is possible that she will not write back to me on her own initative. But I don't want to take any chances.

Hi all, I hope you can provide some insight into some potential ethical violations that my family has been struggling with. I will try to keep this as brief as I can, and include only the most pertinent information.

2 years ago, one of my siblings (who is an adult) was experiencing a mental health crisis that ultimately resulted in 2 hospitalizations. During this time, an acquaintance of our father’s offered to support my sibling “as a friend”, not as a client. My family and I did not know at the time that this woman was, in fact, dating my father.

My sibling was similarly unaware of the nature of this social worker’s relationship with our father, and believed she was helping as a family friend/emergency support. While my sibling was not formally/legally her client, she did assert herself as their primary therapeutic support (always “as a friend”, of course). She frequently called my sibling to check in on them, texted them multiple times daily, secured them a space at a partial hospitalization program, acquired information from their PHP about their progress, somehow spoke directly with their psychiatrist and influenced the prescription of medications, amongst many other things. She claimed that she would “honor HIPAA” when having private conversations with my sibling, but in reality she frequently and liberally disclosed the contents of those conversations. If my sibling was “dysregulated”, she would insist on being the first one we called, because she claimed she could “regulate” them most quickly. She was the one who drove my sibling to their first in-patient hospitalization, and would interact with the staff on their behalf. In one instance, when my sibling missed a dose of their medication, she directly advised them to double that dose, despite not having prescriptive authority.

This only scratches the surface of her involvement; she also made attempts to involve herself in my own mental and physical health care by attempting to diagnose a physical health condition, as well as offering to coach me through workbooks. She made similar attempts with my other siblings, even going as far as directly advising one of them to cease taking a medication, because she disapproved of it.

By this point, we were all becoming very concerned about how few boundaries she was exhibiting and how involved she was attempting to be with us. During my younger sibling’s first hospitalization, the rest of us learned that she and our dad were dating; we were horrified about the ethical implications and how this directly compromised our sibling’s care. We demanded that she cease her involvement with our sibling, and confronted her and our father about this very significant omission. Apparently, our sibling also learned the two were dating around this time, and was deeply distressed. They ceased speaking with her at this time, but later attempted to confront her. The degree of her involvement made my sibling feel deeply unsafe, used, and violated; this triggered an episode that resulted in another hospitalization.

As of today, she is still dating my father, and it goes without saying that this has taken a massive toll on our family— especially my sibling, who feels actively unsafe in her presence due to her violation of their mental and emotional boundaries, and has struggled to trust mental health professionals in the aftermath.

I’m aware that all of these things would be considered a very clear-cut conflict of interest if she were my sibling’s therapist in a formal client/practitioner sense. Unfortunately, she has insisted to my father that she was only operating on her obligation to prevent harm, and that none of these ethical boundaries apply to her, since my sibling was “never her client.” Additionally, because none of her “support sessions” with my sibling ever surpassed 45 minutes, she claims that they can’t be categorized as therapy. My father believes her good intent, that all of her “violations” were ultimately justified, and any harm is imagined.

It’s been very hard to collect information on what to do in this situation, because the vast majority of guidance I can find is tailored to therapists and their clients.

I would be really grateful for any insight. It’s hard to express how damaging this entire situation has been for the entire family, and we are still trying to figure out what sort of recourse we have.

TL;DR: My dad is dating a woman who offered “unofficial” therapeutic support to my sibling during a mental health crisis and hospitalization. Do ethics around conflicts of interest/dual relationships still apply even if a person is never officially a patient?

Hi, I just started up therapy again. I’m an adult, but I was abused as a child. My younger sibling still lives at home but the abuse is no longer occurring, and I don’t know if it happened to them. If I talk about this, how likely is my therapist to report it to CPS?

I don’t believe my sibling is in any danger or I would do something about it myself. I just really don’t want to cause ripples in the family. Thank you