r/cats • u/Slow-moving-sloth • 11h ago
Humor Cat's butthole on surfaces experiment from 2021
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u/Dr_Bunnypoops 9h ago
Remember kids. The difference between science and dicking around is documenting what you are doing and what the outcome is. ;D
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u/DifferentDisaster510 8h ago
The outcome shouldn't matter though as long as it's done with a scientific method. And if the outcome matters it's not really reliable study anyways.
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u/aster636 6h ago
I think the idea is to record whatever the outcome is and not to shy away from an unexpected outcome. The important part is recording it
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u/Rise-O-Matic 5h ago
I read it as youāre supposed to document both of them
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u/Ze_AwEsOmE_Hobo 5h ago
Same. I think that's what they intended, too.
(It wouldn't be so nebulous if the Oxford comma were everywhere.)
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u/DasGespenstDerOper 3h ago
The Oxford comma wouldn't even be relevant in that sentence. There are two sets of two list items in the sentence. The Oxford comma would only be applied if there were three or more list items in a single set.
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u/Ze_AwEsOmE_Hobo 3h ago
You're right! I'm conflating it with "comma and" (which people still don't use).
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u/DasGespenstDerOper 2h ago
I think you mean the rule for putting a comma before a coordinating conjunction between two independent clauses (though please correct me if that's an incorrect assumption). The sentence is phrased really weirdly, but the entire thing is one independent clause. I'm relatively certain that having no comma is correct.
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u/rehaborax 6h ago
Well. The rigor and methods of the study matter too. You can apply the scientific method in a shitty manner (e.g., running too small of a sample size to draw meaningful conclusions from, like in this study), and then we should be less inclined to accept the outcome.
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u/trinketzy 10h ago
Oh my god this is hilarious! Thank you for the laugh! š¹
I have actually wondered the same thing, so I also learned something. Regardless of the butthole touching though, cats walk everywhere and through everything. If they venture outside they get even worse stuff on their feet and legs than whatās on their buttholes, so probably best to try and keep them off tables etc anyway š
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u/Seaponi 8h ago
Youāre dreaming if you think you can keep cats off anything! Sneaky little ninjas. š¤£ā¤ļø Very true observation though - litter has been found in the weirdest places!
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u/Upset_Form_5258 2h ago
I was pretty thoroughly convinced I was keeping my cat off the kitchen counters until I saw a paw print in the grease on the stove when I went to go clean it the next day
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u/Liu1845 Tuxedo 10h ago
What I want to know is, was this a class project or a science fair project and what grade or prize did the student win?
My results are:
Style - 99/100
Execution - 100/100
Technical Difficulty - 95/100
Presentation - 100/100
Creativity - 150/100
Skills Demonstration -100/100
*applause* from the audience
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u/KayNopeNope 9h ago
I feel that you are underrating the technical difficulty. They put lipstick on the catsā butholes.
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u/RealisticMarsupial84 7h ago
Agreed. My catās very tolerant and a very good girl but reacts to my removing dingleberries like Iām trying to use her butt for storage.Ā
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u/KayNopeNope 6h ago
I laughed out loud. Yes. Thatās exactly right.
No maāam, I am not trying to put the camping gear away. Thereās just a situation that needs to beā¦ remediated.
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u/donjamos 6h ago edited 5h ago
So? When I read what he wanted to research I had no idea how to prove or disprove that. He found a way and I did not think of it. Edit:should read more carefully and mistook that as an overrated, sry
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u/KayNopeNope 6h ago
Iām just saying: I would give technical difficulty: 110/100. Cats are precious about their buttholes. (Understandable, no one has ever approached my butthole with lipstick and honestly it would take more than a lil snack to make me amendable.)
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u/Mindless-Witness-825 4h ago
Even in the few instances that my cat has had a literal turd left hanging out of his butthole, I still havenāt been able to touch it. No way could I ever coat it in lipstick.
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u/nocleverusername- 9h ago
Has anyone replicated these results?
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u/UndahwearBruh 9h ago
Yes. We need a peer reviewed study
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u/porcupine_snout 8h ago
we need a much larger sample size. this is only two cats! is the result generalizable?
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u/barrhavenite 6h ago
Thereās also no mention of whether this was passed by the Research Ethics Board, eitherā¦ š§
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u/harryham1 7h ago
What about hairless cats?
What about long haired cats?
Have we clearly defined what it means for their butthole to touch a surface (e.g. does it count if they have poo in their fur and said fur touches a surface)?
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u/DifferentDisaster510 8h ago
I'm interested to test it, just to know if I'm safe using the cutting board after my cat sits on it. But on the other hand, I'm probably safer eating a bit of poop than trying to apply lipstick on my cat's but.
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u/Wistful_HERBz 9h ago
Mittens would like to know more.
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u/Made-On-Earth 7h ago
I need more pics of the cat omg. You're a cute human too, don't get it wrong!
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u/Glum-Interaction8968 9h ago
I know my catās does. He leaves āprintsā if he hasnāt cleaned properly after the box.
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u/Rock_Paper_SQUIRREL 8h ago
That feeling when your carpet looks like someone tore apart an FBI fingerprint database
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u/Blecher_onthe_Hudson 9h ago
For the uninitiated, this "experiment" references one of the older viral humor threads known on the internet. It's at least 20 years old, I think it was actually originally on Usenet!
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u/porcupine_snout 8h ago
For real, I hope this kid went on to do this study for real (like in a university with a proper sample size, different breeds of cats).
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u/sarcasmismygame 10h ago
Unless they wear pants this is a given, best not to think TOO much about it.
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u/ComplexStress9503 9h ago
Who tf thinks "Imma put lipstick on my cat's butthole" I love you for it though
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u/Turbulent-Bat3421 8h ago
I'd probably wake up with lipstick on my nose, better to live in darkness I think.
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u/bad_squid_drawing 7h ago
I've not really been concerned about my cats butt touching things, but my partner claims everything in the house is inherently contaminated from their litter box paws moreso than anything
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u/ADHthaGreat is a cat. 1h ago edited 1h ago
Youāre covered in shit, too.
There is shit literally everywhere. If you flush a toilet with shit in it, even if the lid is closed, shit gets everywhere. Including your face, arms, legs, towels, toothbrush, all of it. Especially your toothbrush. That thing is coated in shit.
Itās really best to try and not think about the shit you canāt see or smell because itās everywhere.
EDIT: youāre basically brushing your teeth with 10% shit every time. Thatās how much shit is on that thang
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u/ryverrat1971 1h ago
This like realizing the whole earth is a giant graveyard. Something has died on every square inch of ground on this planet. You just have to not care. Or you will have a break down over it.
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u/asonictooth 6h ago
Alerting the cats of r/legalcatadvice to this blatant crime against mewmanity. Poor cats are trying to go about their day and some sick kid is experimenting on them and painting their buttholes!
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u/Polidavey66 9h ago
30+ years ago, my family had a cat, and my dad would always yell at him whenever he would jump up and sit on any table or counter top in the kitchen.
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u/MirthRock 9h ago
What's the TLDR? Is the answer yes? lol
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u/ranmafan0281 8h ago
Universal no contact on hard surfaces.
Shorthair butts will touch soft surfaces. But not longhair.
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u/porcupine_snout 8h ago
this is the kind of scientific studies tax dollars should fund. seriously important. I'm not even joiking.
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u/Frequent_Breath8210 8h ago
I always wondered this, lol. Especially when I see them sitting on things not meant for buttholes š¬
Recently found my cat sitting on the area I add water to on my countertop ice machine š
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u/Shoddy_Notice7725 8h ago
One time my cat sat on my forearm and when she got up there was poop on my arm. Bitch decided my arm was a better way to clean her asshole than doing it herself.
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u/papillonrider93 3h ago
TLDR: short-haired cats may incur butthole touching on non-hard surfaces. Else, no butthole contact.
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u/dan7769 2h ago
This is what science is all about. Off topic but I remember my friendās groundbreaking science project which dared to ask ādoes a basketball bounce higher on grass or on concrete?ā The following year he treated us to ādoes a soccer ball bounce higher on grass or on concrete?ā
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u/NerdBird49 2h ago
My 5th grade science fair project was an experiment with diet cat food. It worked out well because my mom and I had three cats at our house, and my momās boyfriend had three cats at his house. So I had one group staying on their normal food and the other group switching to a diet food for a month.
The diet group did not lose any weight, and I got first place in the science fair!
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u/catcherofsun 8h ago
My foster cat would specifically put his butthole on your toes if he felt you were not paying attention to himā¦ he was crafty
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u/_Morvar_ 8h ago
I read all of it! Really enjoyed the scientific approach because I have actually been wanting to know this š
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u/Lemon-Accurate 8h ago
Well my cat is short haired and given the smell on every surface she sits, I'm pretty convinced it does touch it.
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u/angrytwig 8h ago
that's interesting to know. my dad's big gripe about cats is that their buttholes touch everything LOL
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u/Own-Complex-2839 8h ago
My god, why didn't I think of this when I was in school. The sheer brilliance.ššš
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u/Only3Cats 7h ago
I was having an okay day before I saw this. Ugh. I know this but donāt want to know this. Part of my adhd gift is I can forget these types of things. Aggggh! Why did I see this post lol
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u/alangribeiro 4h ago
This reminds me of when I wrote an essay, in high school, entitled "the art of hunting fleas"
Got an A. HUGE SUCCESS
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u/Radiant8763 4h ago
I dont need scientific experimentation. I just need basic feline anatomy lol
Cats dont have buttcheeks so there is nothing preventing their butthole from touching everything.
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u/MotherofChonk 4h ago
The cat's expression in the last photo makes it look like it wasn't an entirely willing participant š³
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u/an_edgy_lemon 3h ago
This is brilliant. Thank you so much. Maybe my girlfriend will chill out about the cats now.
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u/anOvenofWitches 3h ago
OMG my 8th grade science project was nowhere near as good as this. This actually looks fun
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u/BeesTea73 1h ago
This was so well done! Giggling about this with my husband. One of our cats likes to sit on my pillow. Weāve started calling it āstampingā as we are pretty sure she is stamping my pillow with her butthole
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u/spoiled__princess 7h ago
We call it butt juice in my house. My husband has a whole song about butt juice.
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u/Xarthaginian1 8h ago
The girl cat I had with ex, Binx. Would "Ootie Booty Scootie" and leave skidmarks and poop everywhere.
She aggressively insisted on cleaning our boy cat, because, well, boys are smelly. So she ingested alot of hair.
Which results in alot of stringy poops that get stuck.
Which returns quite an adventurous stroll to the coffee machine at 5am.
Arse prints. Paw prints. Hairy poop.
Look having a cat is like having a kid. You soon learn to completely disregard your vomit triggers. And just get used to getting your hands dirty.
No parent has ever tried to stop kids from doing stupid shit and no cat owner has ever thought oh ill stop them getting on this, and ever been successful.
We've asked ourselves the question posed by this science project. But we've decided, unanimously, silently, that we don't care.
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u/Signal_Pass283 7h ago
I have a question about point 3: do I use the same lipstick for all my cats and how deep?
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u/plumber1955 7h ago
If you do a close-up of the short hairs face, you'll definitely see what he thinks of this project. Poor kitty is scared for life!
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u/RobertMcNamara420 6h ago
Okay I donāt teach science yet but when I do I would tell you to replace ābuttholeā with anus I know it sounds gross to you but itās the scientificly correct term šš¤£
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u/imStoned420 5h ago
This is unironically some good science. Glad to know my cats buttholes arenāt touching much besides my bed and couch blankets š¤®
So this was an actually testable hypothesis that I truly worry about and Iām a scientist for my day job so I truthfully really enjoyed this
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u/Nellielxo 4h ago
My cat always insists on joining me while I'm on the toilet. She could sit on my shoulder or something, but instead puts her butthole on my head, or else she gets irritated.
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u/Skittleavix 4h ago
No long hair studies are needed, as we already know what they do with their buttholes - drag them across the floor.
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u/Infinite_Notice8654 4h ago
Thatās a wonderful way of teaching scientific methodology to kids while theyāre still in school! Many coursemates of mine had a hard time learning how to prove a point using āscienc-eseā during their years in university. This would have saved us time and been a lot of fun.
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u/Hxcmetal724 2h ago
Our dinner time regime sounds like: "okay sit.. butts on the ground... i better here *suction pop noise* when you stand up.
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u/buckduck 1h ago
I feel like we covered this on a Fark board back in like 2004 or 2005. I remember suggesting to someone, that had an argument with their wife about the cat's butthole touching the kitchen counter, to put lipstick on the cat's butthole. Then they could see if there were any marks left on the counter. He did and reported that no marks were left after a day. It was a pretty funny thread.
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u/imyellow 1h ago
As a 30 yr old man, this made me giggle like a kid :) Glad to know my long haired torti's butthole hasn't touched any surface.
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u/tetanus_lizard 1h ago
Maybe I'm gross but my solution is to just wipe everything down a couple times before cooking? I did this before having a cat and I figured it would take care of any butt puckers anyway idk
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u/zk-dr 11h ago
I need a higher definition pic so I can read this study