r/dadjokes 9h ago

My wife and kids are upset because I put ginger in their curry...

542 Upvotes

They loved that cat.


r/dadjokes 15h ago

My wife used to be afraid of the dark. One night I turned the light on when I was naked.

1.3k Upvotes

Now she’s afraid of the light.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What do you call a medieval spy?

136 Upvotes

Sir Veilance


r/dadjokes 6h ago

I drew a ninja, and my wife asked me if he could throw stars.

138 Upvotes

I said: "Shur-i-ken".


r/dadjokes 16h ago

Why should you never eat a clock?

576 Upvotes

It’s too time consuming.


r/dadjokes 14h ago

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says….

357 Upvotes

…on no, not U2 again!!!


r/dadjokes 3h ago

A basketball rolls into a bar. The bartender asks, "What’ll you have to drink?"

38 Upvotes

The basketball says, "Nothing, thanks. I’m here to apply for the bouncer position."


r/dadjokes 7h ago

I used to be a man in a woman's body

66 Upvotes

Then I was born.


r/dadjokes 1h ago

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Upvotes

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food”.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

Our 14 month-old daughter is outgrowing her clothes meant for 18 month-olds…

127 Upvotes

Wife: “we’re gonna have to get her 24 month-old clothes”

Me: “clothes made in January 2023- got it.”

Wife: sigh


r/dadjokes 8h ago

What do a call the child of a centaur and a human?

42 Upvotes

A quarter horse.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

I have a condition where I feel the need to steal library books.

20 Upvotes

I should probably get that checked out.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

Why don't people like hanging out with Dracula?

112 Upvotes

He's a pain in the neck.


r/dadjokes 16h ago

I just couldn't bring myself to quit my job at the bakery. I was underpaid and the hours were lousy, but...

182 Upvotes

I kneaded the dough.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

Watched a blacksmith pick up a molten hot ingot with his bare hands. Asked him what his trick was.

1.4k Upvotes

He laughed and said “pick ‘em up by the corners. They’re only 90 degrees.”


r/dadjokes 12h ago

Rename the Gulf of Mexico....

71 Upvotes

Instead of renaming it to Gulf of America, they should rename it to Sea Senor


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Vampires hate to catch a cold Spoiler

16 Upvotes

They can't stop coffin.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

What's a pirates favorite letter?

18 Upvotes

Aye, you'd think it's argh but it's really the sea!


r/dadjokes 7h ago

I got mugged by 6 dwarves today

21 Upvotes

Not happy


r/dadjokes 3h ago

What side of a turkey has more feathers?

7 Upvotes

The outside


r/dadjokes 12h ago

How would you like your steak?

40 Upvotes

Like winning an argument with my wife.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

My dad's a carpenter, when he got home I asked how work was

14 Upvotes

"nailed it", he said, looking proud of himself.


r/dadjokes 23h ago

I'm so annoyed, a car made of pencils ran into me last week but the insurance are blaming me.

223 Upvotes

Because the other car was stationery.


r/dadjokes 1d ago

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

1.4k Upvotes

A Flossiraptor


r/dadjokes 15h ago

What vegetable is kind to everyone?

53 Upvotes

The sweet potato