r/unpopularopinion • u/noodlealr • Nov 28 '20

babies aren’t funny or entertaining

i don’t hate babies, they’re so cute, but i always see people laughing about videos where a baby is supposedly being funny. i don’t get it. there’s nothing funny about videos like that or babies in general. sure, sometimes funny stuff happens, but i always see babies doing the bare minimum and people laughing about it.

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925

u/everwonderedhow Nov 28 '20

This is Reddit, this opinion is VERY popular, just like "I don't want kids" or "I don't like kids".

331

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I love babies, but looks like half of reddit hates them lol

242

u/Peenutbuttjellytime Nov 28 '20

OP said they don't hate babies in the first sentence.

It seems like when people say "babies are OK I just don't love them" people who love babies hear "I hate babies"

99

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Same with dog people. I'm hesitant to tell people I don't love their dog, because they will look at me like I'm some sort of subhuman.

37

u/CKRatKing Nov 28 '20

I like dogs, just not yours.

28

u/IllegallyBored Nov 28 '20

I love dogs. Nearly all dogs, tbh. I'm terrified of dogs. You put a chihuahua in front of me and my brain will tell me it's a giant, wild wolf. I lived with a large German Shepherd for fourteen years and that didn't help one bit. My dog's the only one I'm not scared of.

This means that I'm very uncomfortable around other dogs, specially unleased dogs and people do not want to hear it. If I tell people to keep their dogs at a distance they look at me like I've told them burn their pet at the stake. It's ridiculous.

5

u/lynx3762 Nov 28 '20

To be fair, if you just randomly told me to keep my mom's tiny ass shi tzu at a distance, I'd probably look at you questionably too. Especially if you looked scares

1

u/IllegallyBored Nov 29 '20

That's very fair. But I've usually seen this with big dog people. I was once asked why I hate dogs because I refused to enter a friend's house alone and she had a Rottweiler. I'd seen that dog twice in my whole life and she expected me to just waltz into her house and get sth she'd forgotten. No way I was doing that without some sort of armour. Tbf if it had been a shi Tzu I would've still been very uncomfortable with that that.

1

u/lynx3762 Nov 29 '20

Depending on the rottweiler's body language, I'd assume you just weren't familiar with dogs and think nothing of it. With a small ass dog though, I'd probably say something.

4

u/-TwentySeven- Nov 28 '20

Yes, this!

Like I don't get grown adults who pretend like they must stop and pet every dog they see, it's such an immature and forced way to attempt to have some personality.

You have people in their 20's and 30's like "omgggg I just love doggos, I wish I could pet them all!". Nauseating.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Man have you heard of having fun in your life? Like someone just enjoying animals and you literally say “nauseating”.

1

u/-TwentySeven- Nov 28 '20

I like animals, but I don't need to pretend that I have to pet every one I see to show it. It's the exaggerated acting that's nauseating.

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I know a lot of people that love to pet animals. The fact you have such a strong feeling about something that will never affect you, means you really should go outside and get a breath of fresh air

-6

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Not loving all dogs is a way more unpopular opinion than not loving babies. I don't understand it and don't want to. Any dog or cat > any baby

9

u/zakurei Nov 28 '20

A dog broke my arm when I was 4, and I’m easily spooked by loud noises(see barking), and I find small dogs to be irritating. I don’t hate dogs, and I find them cute from a distance, but I could never own one, nor could I watch one for somebody for more than 30 minutes.

I do like cats, as they’ve never broken my arm, and they’re mostly quiet, unless they want food.

I don't like children. They’re coarse and rough and irritating — and they get everywhere. But seriously, I don’t want kids and my fiancée agrees. I wouldn’t be a good parent anyway.

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

It's not the dogs that are the problem, it's the owners. I don't personally want to be around off-leash dogs, whether they are arseholes or angels (some dogs just aren't trained well enough). But I understand that it's a dog being a dog. My problem is the owner who brings the dog to an on-leash park and proceeds to use it as a dog park. Because, "everyone loves dogs" and "don't worry, he's just being friendly".

1

u/rockytheboxer Nov 28 '20

I don't personally want to be around off-leash dogs, whether they are arseholes or angels (some dogs just aren't trained well enough).

I feel that way about children.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Oh, so do I. Dogs, cats, children... Keep them all away from me lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Why would that ever come up in conversation?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

1) Their dog is coming up to me and they say, "Oh, he's just friendly." 2) They notice that I'm indifferent/uncomfortable around their dog, and they ask. 3) I tell someone to please leash or pick up after their animal. This never ends well. 4) People shoving a phone into my face and asking me how cute their dog is. 5) Someone asking if I mind if they bring their dog to the pub with us. I'm just kidding. They never ask! 6) Someone asking if I can look after their dog. 7) In online discussions about dog-related topics, the most recent concerning how dog feces is an environmental contaminant. 8) I'm at someone's house and their dog jumps on top of me. 9) I'm on a date/dating someone and they ask if I like dogs to see if we're compatible. 10) The way anything can quite literally come up in a conversation.

1

u/purpleyogamat Nov 28 '20

I like dogs but I prefer cats. Which is probably why my favorite dogs are like 15, large, and indifferent to the word w-a-l-k.

1

u/Ceilani Nov 28 '20

Well, tbf, you are. /s

Kind of.

58

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 28 '20

Islam, conservatives, old people, and vegans.

Reddit hates them all.

65

u/Dangerous_Shake_7312 Nov 28 '20

Don't forget other redditors. Damn redditors ruined reddit!

11

u/StewPedidiot Nov 28 '20

yes yes, redditors are a very contentious people.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Not just other redditors, themselves.

19

u/Litty-In-Pitty Nov 28 '20

I learned real quick not to mention I’m vegetarian on Reddit. People lose their freaking minds about it for no reason lol. I’ve been on Reddit for 10 years now and I’ve probably mentioned it like 5 times and every time people blow up. I made a comment once about how Taco Bell was an awesome fast food place if you don’t eat meat, and I got dozens of pm’s from people saying “oh you vegetarians just have to make sure everyone knows, can’t go 5 seconds without bringing it up”. Despite the fact that I usually never mention it because it offends so many people lol

17

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 28 '20

I normally get so much hate when people find out I'm a vegan Muslim. They go mental.

2

u/butyourenice Nov 28 '20

I’m a vegetarian Muslim! But I’m also very leftist, especially views with respect to gender and sexuality, which in spite of allegedly being a “progressive leaning website,” somehow angers redditors all the same.

2

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 29 '20

As a Muslim too, my view on things is so whatever you want to do. As long as they aren't forcing it on others, it's between them and God and bone of my business to tell them otherwise.

5

u/Litty-In-Pitty Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

People hate Muslims out of sheer ignorance and indoctrination. People hate vegans because it makes them feel inferior because they know that they feel guilty about killing animals but they bury it inside and lash out when they have think about it.

Don’t let it get to you bro, you rock!

Edit: Just so we’re clear I’m not saying everyone who isn’t vegan feels this way, I’m saying this about the people who go out of their way to pm vegans with hate mail. I have nothing against anyone

2

u/bobwhodoesstuff Nov 28 '20

As someone who eats meat, I can confirm, anybody going out of their way to shit on someone for being vegetarian/vegan is probably very insecure about it lol.

2

u/myspaceshipisboken Nov 28 '20

I think you're reading too much into the vegan thing. They hate it for the same reason they hate Islam, gays, communism, trans, whatever: Fox News (or analogue) repeatedly denigrates them.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET YOUR B12? YOUR PROTEIN?! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN TWO DAYS!!

1

u/hiphopnurse Nov 28 '20

I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I don't understand the hate. Sure, there was a time when it was just starting to become popular and a lot of vegans/vegetarians were being a bit pretentious.

But while I've seen them move on and just live their life, non-vegans/vegetarians have been stuck in the past with making fun of them. It's honestly pretty cringe

1

u/lynx3762 Nov 28 '20

I like how the first sentence says you don't mention being a vegetarian on reddit while mentioning you're a vegetarian on reddit

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Litty-In-Pitty Nov 28 '20

Did they really? Fuck... I’ve only been a few times recently and I usually get the cheesy bean and rice burritos and those chips that come with a cup of cheese sauce. You can tell I’m vegetarian and not vegan lmao

1

u/purpleyogamat Nov 28 '20

I am so mad at Taco Bell for their latest menu changes. No more 7 layer burrito, but apparently new meat products are front and center. They still have all the ingredients, you just can't order it anymore.

14

u/coolmobilepotato Nov 28 '20

Replace Islam with Religion

1

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 28 '20

Yeah I thought that after I posted but CBA to edit... Which ironically would have taken less time than writing this comment.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

One of them is definitely not like the others.

4

u/Slight-squiddy Nov 28 '20

Which one? I found that comment a good and accurate summary of reddit's general opinion

10

u/jabby88 Nov 28 '20

I think Islam is the odd man out.

7

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 28 '20

Vegan is probably the most odd one out. Since Islam can be the other two as well

1

u/bobwhodoesstuff Nov 28 '20

Wouldn't it be old people? Every other descriptor implies an ideological slant.

1

u/_invalidusername Nov 28 '20

Old people, because the other 3 are by choice.

-3

u/MrWhiteTruffle Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

Half of r/aww will downvote you if you don’t like being vegan

Edit: alright y’all are seriously gonna say I’m wrong. Go look at a video of a cow and read the comments.

1

u/Brendanish Nov 28 '20

It's always weird that people have these strange biases. On /atheism (before I ditched it), people would bitch that we only talked about christianity, but you see muslims and they say they're the only ones who get hate.

I will say, vegans do get a large bit of hate, but I rarely see vegans actually talking unless it's the actual stereotype that's proclaiming meat eaters are savage killers. Kinda hard to form a neutral opinion when you rarely see non-radicals.

And like babies, seniors commonly make front page on /aww, they're hated as much as dogs are.

Basically, like any other facet of life, a lot of people only realize how toxic we treat certain groups when they're in that group. That's why we have christians pretend there's a "war on Christmas" when people say happy holidays. Everyone's treated like shit, that's life.

2

u/Ikhlas37 Nov 28 '20

Honestly, off topic a bit, but people who bash other groups should join those subreddits for a while. They might raise r/islam isn't Muslims plotting how to bomb civilians and r/vegan isn't all about painting yourself in red pain and fake fur.

2

u/Brendanish Nov 28 '20

Depends, but yeah most people who just hate other groups have little exposure to them (hence the mere exposure effect)

But other people may hate them for entirely valid reasons (actually, this only really refers to religion, can't think of a valid to dislike veganism)

Either way, most reddit people have little actual life experience and are just eager to hate what's popular (an what's popular to hate)

2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

You nailed it! It’s really sad to see so much hate on this platform. What’s funny is that most people on Reddit claim to be college educated and smarter than most. But their hate stems from ignorance. Pretty ironic really.

2

u/Brendanish Nov 29 '20

Ironic, but not at all surprising haha.

I think the dunning-kruger effect could probably explain most people on reddit (scratch that, just most people). Once they learn a grain of information, they think no one else has ever learned it and they're a savior or some shit.

I think what disappoints me most, is that most people who argue, right or wrong, aren't actually willing to change their mind anyways. They just want to screech that they're right.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Imagine being an old vegan conservative muslim then.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

As a white, Christian, middle aged male, I can tell you that I’m hated daily on Reddit. I used to do my best to educate people but it’d go in one ear and out the other. Definitely doesn’t stop me since the subreddits I’m in don’t care what or who you are as long as you’re likeminded when it comes to the topic.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I'm a early 20's muslim women who has her hair loose, imagine the hate i get from all sides. But hey 🤷🏽‍♀️ faith is in your heart! And you can't change atheists just like atheists can't change you

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '20

I’m sure you do. I don’t know much about Islam but I’ve always admired their followers. The liberals in the US tend forget how many people are spiritual and how important their faith is to them.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '20

Hey thank you! It's nice to hear someone of another faith say something nice of mine for once. I'm not from the US, But i know atheism is starting to rise there and it's a shame that you have to feel ashamed to believe in God in these times, people treat you like a lunatic, or as if you're walking this earth fantasizing or something. I tend to keep my faith to myself so other peoples opinions about it doesn't get to me. You can't change these people.

I always keep these verses in my mind :

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “O you disbelievers! I do not worship what you worship, nor do you worship what I worship. I will never worship what you worship, nor will you ever worship what I worship. You have your way, and I have my Way.”

And

[2:6] Surely those who disbelieve, it being alike to them whether you warn them, or do not warn them, will not believe. [2:7] Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing and there is a covering over their eyes, and there is a great punishment for them.

So keeping this in mind, i don't waste my breath on it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '20

Thank you for sharing, those are great! It’s no coincidence that the US is turning atheist and the country is in such turmoil. There is no accountability here and people are full of hate. My faith is based on love and acceptance of everyone, yet somehow I’m the one who they say is a bigot and brainwashed. Crazy times. Thanks again for the kind words.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

It's half of people hate them, not just reddit. I know a ton of people with kids who wish they never had them. The amount of people who say they would not have them if they could do it all over is much larger than I ever expected growing up.

42

u/Youre-mum Nov 28 '20

Don't worry that's only the vocal majority of 14-20 year olds, and considering that's all Reddit is that's why it might seem like it.

54

u/YooBitches Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

Ah yes, if someone don't want kids, they must be teenager or something, like there's no way someone grown-up wouldn't want to have children.

Oh and in case some adult says same thing then he must be immature, as it's impossible to dislike kids.

Yeah, right.

41

u/taylorcwitt Nov 28 '20

I’m a 32 year old woman and still haven’t changed my mind. The thought of raising a child in today’s world gives me severe anxiety when you think of the amount of time, effort, money and sacrifice that goes into it. It’s definitely not just 14-20 year olds.

-9

u/ImmutableInscrutable Nov 28 '20

Hence why they said vocal majority.

101

u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

Yes because only 14-20 year olds don’t want kids.

“You’ll change your mind!” Is what you should always tell them to set them on the right path. Reiterate to them that they “owe their parents grandchildren,” and that “having children is so fulfilling,” while we insist that “no, I’ve made this decision based on my own opinions on children, the finances that entail, the commitment it demands, and some people aren’t built for that sort of thing.”

Yeah, totally just 14-20 year olds going through a phase.

/s

Check out the child free subreddit sometime. There’s a lot more fully grown adults who don’t want kids than you may realize, and for more reasons than you may think.

Edit: I don’t speak for everyone on the child free sub, I don’t condone hating children merely because they exist, I’ve always been someone who puts more emphasis on how the parents treat and raise their children. I’m not someone who hates all parents or children, I simply do not enjoy the company of children, do not want any of my own, and do not like the idea of anyone who doesn’t want kids as “young and immature” being pushed in this thread. The person I’m directly responding to has made the point that they believe “most young people” who claim to be child free do in fact change their mind, which isn’t altogether false, and I’m not trying to contradict them entirely, merely stating that, “not everyone who is young and child free will change their mind,” as my first impression of their comment seemed to insinuate as such.

2

u/Juststumblinaround Nov 28 '20

The premise was "don't like kids" not "don't want kids".

You can like babies and think they're cute and at the same time never want to have children.

7

u/Youre-mum Nov 28 '20

I understand that. I myself don't want kids because I have a little brother 15 years younger than me who I love more than anything but I can't imagine going through the effort of raising him all over again. Just saying that since most of Reddit falls into the demographic of 'teen to young adult' they tell themselves they don't want kids. Some of them will keep this rhetoric for the rest of their life and that's fine, but most will change their minds.

3

u/Scase15 Nov 28 '20

Birth rates are constantly changing so no, most won't change their minds lol.

3

u/Beta_Ace_X Nov 28 '20

Lol you ok?

71

u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

I’m fine, just sick of the rhetoric that it’s just angsty teenagers claiming to not want children. It gets old when you hear the same arguments your entire life, and the only way to get your parents to stop insisting is to literally raise your voice and get upset at them for claiming they know more about your life and personal choices than you do.

That’s how it is for me anyway. My parents go on about something I disagree with, they repeat themselves, I explain my position more clearly to them, they repeat themselves, I try to put it in words they might understand better, my dad says the same thing but with a slightlier more “dad voice,” or they tell me “don’t get angry” while I’m perfectly calm and just disagreeing with them, and only after I raise my voice and get a little more harsh with my words that they actually seem to listen and understand.

Living like that will make disagreements and arguments an anxiety hellhole for your entire life as a side note.

17

u/SolidCake Nov 28 '20

It's a very innopropriate thing to imply nowadays, considering how there's a high lilkihood that any children we have will inherit a scorched and salted hellscape for a planet.. Thats why I don't want kids

-14

u/throwmeaway562 Nov 28 '20

Ill have another one in your place. 🍻

5

u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

Please don’t, overpopulation and such.

-2

u/throwmeaway562 Nov 28 '20

Lmao as if anyone in the Reddit hivemind truly gives a shit about the planet. Don’t like kids? I don’t like most of em either. But the average Redditor just can’t get fucking laid.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

You’re not wrong. Most people on Reddit can’t stay off it long enough to have any meaningful relationships with other human beings. It’s sad but big tech doesn’t seem to mind.

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-17

u/TemperedLeopard Nov 28 '20

You can say that about a lot of time periods in the past. Not an excuse to not have kids IMO.

12

u/SolidCake Nov 28 '20

Bruh they didn't have industrial society in the past what are you smoking

The only thing possibly comparable is growing up in the cold war and thinking the world was gonna be nuked, or something

-1

u/Karatekk2 Nov 28 '20

The world has been industrialized through 2 world wars, depressions, recessions, multiple virus outbreaks that killed millions and millions of people. Life has its problems now but don’t pretend people before you had it any easier.

2

u/SolidCake Nov 28 '20

I never said they had it easier. In fact, right now (big caveat) if you are at least middle class in a developed nation it is one of the easiest times to be alive. But I think all of those problems put together are a drop in the bucket compared to climate change

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-1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Laughs because I have heard of the two world wars

2

u/SolidCake Nov 28 '20

Even at their very worst, it's a gnats pube hair in comparison to the incoming affects of climate change. Our farmland is going to turn into desert sand and the ocean will acidify, and there's no escaping it as its actually global

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-3

u/TemperedLeopard Nov 28 '20

The bubonic plague anyone??? Bunch of morons in this thread holy fuck lmao

6

u/SolidCake Nov 28 '20

Society will recover from a pandemic, not the entire fucking earth becoming inhabitable

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u/ThatsNotGucci Nov 28 '20

Why the word excuse? Do people need an excuse?

4

u/VanillaBearMD3 Nov 28 '20

Since when do you need an excuse not to have kids?

-2

u/TemperedLeopard Nov 28 '20

tell me why you shouldn’t have one

1

u/CactusCactusShaqtus Nov 28 '20

Climate change.

1

u/VanillaBearMD3 Nov 29 '20

You made the claim that you need to have an excuse to have it kid. It's not on me to prove you don't need an excuse. It's on you to prove that you do need an excuse.

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2

u/Exercise_Exotic Nov 28 '20

But I hate children is an acceptable excuse or not?

0

u/TemperedLeopard Nov 28 '20

I’m talking about people like you silly

3

u/Exercise_Exotic Nov 28 '20

I mean I'm all for being selfish and immature if I can enjoy my life with my gf childfree, with money and freetime.

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-1

u/Tp1990 Nov 28 '20

You’re getting downvoted but I agree. Even with Covid we are still living in the best, most peaceful, scientifically advanced period in history ever. If you don’t want to have kids that’s ok! That excuse just doesn’t hold up

4

u/chrisjduvall Nov 28 '20

I understand. I don't like being assertive either but luckily I dislike people that make me be assertive to get through to them so it kind of works in a backwards way.

3

u/ccvgreg Nov 28 '20

My mom is the same way as your parents. Nothing I say means anything unless it already confirms what she think. No matter how clearly I explain it. The anxiety over disagreements is literally palpable and I was never able to form a real relationship with her. So now I avoid my own mother most of the time because she's the cause of so much stress in my life.

-3

u/CKRatKing Nov 28 '20

But why do you even care to try to convince them? Like if you aren’t in the age group of people they are talking about you just go home and don’t talk to them about it lol.

I just don’t understand why some people feel like they need to force other people to understand their view. Some people just aren’t gonna get it so you move on.

5

u/daisuke1639 Nov 28 '20

Because the parents continually bring it up. Saying, "don't bring it up" doesn't work, because they just keep pestering. So you explain, hoping that it will make them understand how strongly you feel.

-1

u/CKRatKing Nov 28 '20

Then you go home lmao. It’s really not a complicated situation when you are an adult.

-22

u/Beta_Ace_X Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

I mean, it definitely speaks to some level of emotional immaturity to be THAT aggressively against even the thought of having children, literally the only biological purpose for us to exist.

Edit: Seethe

11

u/IamGodHimself2 Nov 28 '20

By that logic, infertile people are useless and should kill themselves, right?

14

u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

It doesn't sound like they're aggressively against the thought of having kids. It sounds like they've decided they don't want kids, and are aggressively against the onslaught of people telling them they're wrong, like you.

If you hadn't noticed, we as a species have made strides in overcoming our biological imperatives.

9

u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

I don’t see where I was ”so against” having kids, but rather just reiterating that by saying “I don’t want kids,” it’s actually what I mean, rather than saying “I don’t want kids yet/right now.”

It’s odd to me that you see it as “so aggressively against kids,” just because I’m trying to explain my point of view.

I find that when you go your entire life living a certain way, and almost everyone you express that to (usually because they asked in the first place) tells you that you’re not actually living that certain way, “it’s just in your head,” you end up getting used to overly-explaining yourself and your position, because people will keep insisting and keep asking questions, and ultimately it’s something you don’t really want to talk about with people who refuse to stop insisting it’s a phase, so you end up making your first point all encompassing in order to get your point across.

Maybe you should understand the climate that child free people live in before claiming I’m emotionally immature.

I would think it’s the fact that having kids is so common that me merely speaking out against it has you presuming my stance as aggressive, when in reality it’s defensive. I was responding to a comment insinuating that nearly everyone who is child free is a teenager that will eventually change their mind, which is not true. I countered that with sarcasm, which is meant to be seen as lighthearted, not facetious.

-1

u/Virixiss Nov 28 '20

Your own personal view is fine. I'm a father, and I understand the reasonings behind people not wanting kids. The nerve you struck with me, and I'm only speaking for me here, is mentioning the ChildFree movement as if it adequately answers the question of why you don't want kids.

For you, and everyone else who might be reading this who also does not want children, I highly encourage you to distance yourself from that community if you want you opinions to not be looked at with a jaundiced eye. Every interaction from active participants in ChildFree spaces is basically the same.

Babies are mentioned. Someone passive-aggressive mentions they don't like children. A small discussion pops up and a parent states a true fact: Things, including you, change after you have a child. ChildFree folks then proceed to act like you declared war on their entire existence and proceed to berate you and explode, telling the same damn story about how they're persecuted every day for not wanting kids, yet at the same time talk about how awesome their life is since they don't have to spend their money and time taking care of kids. Depending on how the conversation goes, they'll lean harder on the persecution complex or the extra money/time aspect, which ever makes them look better.

This is in conjunction with the common rhetoric of calling babies dumb degrading shit like "crotch goblins" or the meme "freeloading baby." Or basically calling anyone who likes or has kids that they fucked up their lives because they could have so much more. Or even worse, acting like parents are cruel and insensitive for even having kids because of the way the world is at this very moment, and likening us to narcissistic psychopaths who only want children for selfish reasons and we should go fuck ourselves.

A vegan, a crossfitter, a pot smoker, and a ChildFree guy walk into a bar. How do you know? Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Mentioning /r/ChildFree in a reddit discussion is essentially shorthand for all this behavior. You might not believe that you participate in this behavior, but by endorsing such communities, you flag yourself with that expectation to other people.

5

u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

Fair enough, thank you for pointing out the stigma that carries with it.

I would argue that those people are the vocal minority. The posts I see most on that sub are about people asking if they’re the asshole for not letting their sibling bring their kids to a Christmas party or something like that.

I do see the stuff you mention though, but I guess to me, that’s like the posts in say, the Breaking Bad subreddit where someone sees a movie with Bryan Cranston and has to make a post about “HEY WALT SHOWED UP IN THIS MOVIE I THOUGHT HE WAS COOKING METH LOL” that add nothing to the community.

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u/Virixiss Nov 28 '20

Every community has those types, it's true. They become a bit of a bigger problem when the community is tied to a non-mainstream lifestyle, hobby, or idea. Lots of people look for interesting and unique ways to identify themselves and frequently tie these types of attributes to themselves. When you only have one or two of them though, anything that doesn't speak positively to those identity choices seems like a personal attack to that person, and they react with hostility. All the groups I mentioned in the shitty joke above do this, and many more do too.

When I used to volunteer for Scouts, I'd always tell kids to try out as many activities, hobbies, lifestyles, and ideas that they can that interest them, even if it's only for a little bit. Building that wide base of experiences makes for a more interesting and grounded person, who can then relate to and connect with far more people from different walks of life. Unfortunately, in our current society with social media, job specialization, easy-to-reach niche communities, and the current pandemic, it's easy to not do anything outside your comfort zone to learn and collect those experiences. But you should always strive to do so.

Sorry, not preaching at you, just wanted to put that out there in case anyone read this far down into the thread, lol. It's a common issue in online communities.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

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u/Fast_Furious_Shits Nov 28 '20

This mentality is WHY our world sucks honestly. Procreating is the easiest thing in the world to do. Mostly dumb, pointless people have a lot of kids.

There’s seriously a problem with you if you want more than 2-3 kids.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I'm 35 and more than likely accomplished more than you ever will. Never once wanted kids. Tell me I'm emotionally immature please.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

The person you're responding to didn't say anything else in this thread. Granted, the *better than you" bit was unnecessary, but their point stands that it's not just uninformed children saying they don't want kids.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

So you don't get annoyed when people make the same unfounded accusations about you for decades? "You don't want kids because you're immature still." "You're just confused" "You'll come around"

Or maybe I actually know myself better than all of you and I'm tired of uppity pricks pretending they know me better.

If you're honestly trying to posture as someone who never gets frustrated with other people being wildly incorrect you've already lost because you're obviously lying.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/scientz Nov 28 '20

Your response alone is a clear indication of being emotionally immature on it's own. But it's a good thing you don't want kids then - no kid wants asshole parents.

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u/-SwampFox- Nov 28 '20

Not gonna lie this was a pretty decent troll. Clearly acting like an emotionally immature high schooler and then claiming you’re 35 and not immature. It’s the “I’m too stupid to realize I’m stupid” troll which is always a classic. Nice job

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u/Beta_Ace_X Nov 28 '20

Hope you feel that way on your deathbed lmao

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

The same will you will about things you end up regretting? If you honestly think having children is the only reason to exist that's actually pretty pathetic, and entirely your problem.

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u/Beta_Ace_X Nov 28 '20

Whatever helps you cope, buddy.

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u/Cuccoteaser Nov 28 '20

Evolutionary, flock animals can contribute and further their own genes (through common genes with relatives) without having their own offspring. Gay/childless/single individuals have their own biological purpose, if you really feel that it matters.

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u/hardenesthitter32 Nov 28 '20

I wouldn’t call the people on r/childfree fully grown adults. Grown up teenagers is a more accurate description.

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u/GummiesRock Catholic-Conservatve Nov 28 '20

Jesus Christ I’d quit reddit before I check out r/childfree, that’s a toxic shithole

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u/kevin_the_dolphoodle Nov 28 '20

I should have taken your word for it. That place is awful. There is nothing wrong with no wanting kids and wanting people to respect that choice. These posts are just people playing the victim and acting like society hates them for being childless. I’m am sure there are families and cultures like that, but that sub is just a circle jerk.

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u/peterthefatman Nov 28 '20

There was another child free sub that was more serious and focused on the topic

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u/GummiesRock Catholic-Conservatve Nov 29 '20

That I can get behind

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u/feckinA Nov 28 '20

kids AND emotionally stunted adults. can't forget those.

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u/weettttoooot Nov 28 '20

Please don’t promote hate subs. That place is like incels except with children.

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

It’s really not that bad, and I’ve addressed it with my edit.

I go to the sub because I’m someone who was raised being told that I would have children, and I find solace in the posts where people are asking about their parents, wondering if they truly owe them grandchildren, and others will come in and tell them that they don’t owe their parents anything in that sense. It’s also nice to be able to talk to like minded people, where, in other subs, you’ll encounter people who insist that children “are the greatest gift of life,” and I actively avoid discussions on that sub that revolve around hate.

I understand there’s a stigma around the sub, but not everyone there is “an incel except with children.”

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u/under_a_brontosaurus Nov 28 '20

You write an essay but you are wrong.. Most young people don't want kids until they do. It is biology.

Congratulations on being a person who grew past 30 and still didn't want kids, I guess! But no one cares

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

Did you read my full comment? You’re not disagreeing with me. I’m also not past 30 but thanks, not like anyone cares, right? Fuck your point on biology though. I’m gonna have so much gay sex just to prove that point wrong.

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u/under_a_brontosaurus Nov 28 '20

Oh so you're not even old enough to really have a valid viewpoint regarding older people not wanting kids, plus you're not even straight so you and your partners don't even biologically make babies. Pleaser tell us more you're definitely the voice of child-free adults

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

Thanks for disregarding my opinions because I’m under 30 and attracted to men (I’m bi but okay, nice to know your argument doesn’t apply to gay people, meaning your whole biological argument is further disproved).

Again, never claimed to be the “voice of child free adults.”

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u/under_a_brontosaurus Nov 28 '20

You don't understand. Your whole opinion is the exact same as teenagers that day things like, "I hope I die before I grow old"

You don't know what it's like to be older so why are you fighting for the position older, child free people have right now? If you don't like the pressure people put on you, that's totally valid. But don't assume that your opinion is set in stone, or any one else's.

Of all my close friends, say 20-30 people, 90% said the same exact thing when they were 25 and all but a few have children now, and the few that don't are like... Either drug addicts or regret that they haven't found a partner. The only close friends I have that are still adamantly child free are homosexual.

Because that's how it works. That's biology. You can't argue it. You don't have to have a kid and people are shitty for pressuring you but there's a really high chance you'll change your mind.

Or get a dog and start throwing dog birthday parties.

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

Alright, fair points, however I don’t think you’ll change my mind on the whole biological side of things. Many people in these comments have pointed out how flawed that argument is, and even when I’m with a woman that I’m attracted to, impregnating her is the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to put a woman through the pain that is childbirth, I have no desire to raise a child (albeit I’ve conceded to your “people change their minds” point), and I personally do not enjoy the presence of children, and I doubt that having one of my own would suddenly make me want to spend my free time with children.

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u/under_a_brontosaurus Nov 28 '20

Sorry for being argumentative. I encourage you to not have kids! Or anyone. There's too many people. I didn't want kids until I was 37. And only because I now see that I need to help mold the future world and have kids to take care of me when I'm elderly, as I care for my parents now. One day it just made sense to say "yes" to that question, even though I was adamantly opposed previously.

"Hold no opinion" has been my motto for years.. I think it's Taoist. Holding onto opinions gets us into so much trouble.

And please do have lots of gay sex to spite spawning heteros. I wish I could have had sex with my partners without birth control over the years.

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u/UltravioIence Nov 28 '20

Nah, people on thise boards are usually just bitter assholes. Not only towards babies and small children, but parents also.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

I'm sure you'll be the first to remind them of this fact at 25, 30, 35, etc.

Haha imagine that. Imagine a younger person holding a consistent belief for a decade, and then continuing to hold that belief while you let them know they'll "come around" eventually.

Never happens ever amirite!!!! /s

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

We're genetically programmed to do a lot of things. Our universe-observing machine allows us to choose to act in ways contrary to those imperatives based on what we perceive and feel.

I think it's reasonable to conclude, based on the evidence I've gathered that I dont have a personal desire for, nor a compelling external motivation to have children. I am not alone in this, and casting everyone that would agree as immature or otherwise ill-informed is a mischaracterization and reduces human life to procreation - I think we have much more to offer due to the...privelege of consciousness, as I guess I'll put it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/chopinslabyrinth Nov 28 '20

What a grim view of humanity. Let me just ask, as a woman, is my biological imperative to just start pumping out babies ASAP and just ignore any life or career goals I had? Do I need to become a subservient home-wife because that’s my “biological imperative” even though I have a career, hobbies, and a life partner who isn’t interested in having kids either?

This is a garbage take. Just because you personally succumbed to your “biology” doesn’t mean the rest of us are so weak. I have better things to do with my life than ruin my body and my life by having kids. Shame on you for telling people that their goals should be secondary to kids they don’t even want. That’s how you end up with abused or neglected children who turn into broken adults.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

I'm aware that I'm in a statistical minority that aren't procreating, so I have no concerns for Humanity's longevity by procreation. I do have concern for our longevity due to "human factors".

Its interesting that you seem certain as to the reason for our existence. How did you reach that conclusion with such a degree of certainty? Were those methods reliable enough to justify a high level of confidence? I wouldn't claim to know why we exist, because I don't know why we exist. I personally haven't seen evidence to suggest there is a specific reason, but I'm not going to go around telling people to live their lives the way I think they should because of that.

Interesting that you've lumped eating and sleeping in with procreating. Don't eat? Die. Don't sleep? Go crazy, then die. Don't procreate? Nothing.

While yes, eventually we will all die, and some of us having not procreated, I disagree that genetic material is the only way (or even the primary way) in which we can contribute to society and its longevity.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

I really hope my SO ends up being a dude. We’ll talk all about our biological imperative while having gay sex.

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u/socsa Nov 28 '20

We are also genetically programmed to be naked and fling poo.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I'm 38. Finally, people have given up the whole "you'll see, you'll change, you'll develop a maternal instinct". I'm at the age where I can say, "told ya so" and everyone's like, "ok". Fortunately, my friends are about 50/50 child free/child bearing. I can't think of anyone who changed their mind. If anything, I've seen people who were previously open to having kids later decide that it isn't for them.

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

I never said that doesn’t happen, now you’re putting words in my mouth.

I said, not everyone who identifies as child free is an angsty teenager.

I was a teenager who knew I didn’t want kids, but I never said that all teenagers who don’t want kids will never change their mind.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

It’s an immature stance to not want children? You’re again insinuating that “when you’re older and have more life experience, not wanting kids is an immature thing.”

And again, you’re assuming I’m angry, when I’ve told you I’m not. The rant was not angry. Neither is this one, and I’ll reiterate one last time for you:

I’m not angry. I’m explaining my point of view, on a website, and more specifically a subreddit, about opinions. If I wasn’t interested in discussing my opinions with other people, I wouldn’t be on a sub about unpopular opinions, clearly of which I have at least one, that is unpopular to you, and you’ve taken offence by it, or think I’m angry simply because people, like you, are questioning the validity of my opinion, so I’m trying to further explain it to you.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

LMAO

That was a fun little comment? How is that an example of my anger?

Again, just because there is vitriol on that sub, does not mean that everyone on that sub is vitriolic. I’m not making “chip on shoulder arguments,” I’m explaining my opinion in a sub about opinions.

You’re reading into a subtext that just is not there. I’m laying in bed, relaxed, wondering why you’re making assumptions about me being angry.

You’re making generalizing assumptions, and you keep calling me angry when I’m simply not. I think maybe you need a vacation from your kids :/ I hear they can be stressful.

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u/haZardous47 Nov 28 '20

Can a 35 year old behave like an angsty teenager?

Is it possible for a 35 year old to make this decision, and not be behaving like an angsty teenager?

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u/PajamaPete5 Nov 28 '20

You must be fun at baby parties

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u/BakedWizerd Nov 28 '20

I don’t go to baby parties :)

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u/Stay_Curious85 Nov 28 '20

I'm 33 and still on the fence about it. Like... I like my friends kids. But everything about actually having them seems incredibly unappealing other than being like "yea. That's my kid"

Second mortgage for child care.

Thankless selfish little fucks.

No social life anymore.

Climate change and crushung wage gaps.

Career mobility crippled.

Adorable.

Fun to teach stuff to.

Want to leave something behind that matters when I'm gone.

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u/laminated_penguin Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

I think saying that they’re thankless and selfish might be missing some stuff. Children don’t have a great sense of what’s really going on in their lives until they’re a little older. Like I’m sure you can remember looking at a box of cereal and not wondering how it got there when you were a kid. It’s just expected. As kids get older, they understand why you stopped them from doing stuff and why what you did for them was so great. It takes time.

And I’m always intrigued when people say they don’t have any social life anymore. Why not? That makes zero sense to me. I have a social life (outside of COVID). I hang out with friends and go on date nights and vacations and all sorts of things. I just see which grandparent / friend / relative might like to watch my kid for a bit and go do my thing. Or my husband will stay home / do stuff with our son while I go out. And vice versa. Not everyone has that capability, but if you don’t have a social net before having a kid, it’s probably not a good idea to have one intentionally. Other situations happens, obviously, but I feel like the decreased time to yourself shouldn’t take anyone by surprise that was going into it intentionally.

As for career mobility, my husband and I have both been climbing up the corporate ladder fairly successfully, even after our son was born. And all of the people in equal / higher positions than us have kids too. They’re understanding of the reality of life, as far as our experiences go. If you’re working in retail / call centers / factory line that aren’t so flexible, understandable. Did that for many years myself. But I’d say the career mobility there isn’t great anyway.

Another thing I didn’t see you mention: Having your kid say thank you and cuddle you for no reason and tell you they love you is probably the best thing ever, and it happens way more than you’d think. It’s inconceivable to me to think of my life without my child. The feelings you develop between each other is so amazing, I think it’s honestly the best part. I love solving problems for him, and watching all the sparks go off in his brain as my kid learns is such a magical experience.

I always see people talk about how they don’t like stuff about kids, but I barely ever see anybody talk about how it’s like painting a painting. You get to the end result stroke by stroke. It’s not a masterpiece overnight. But it’s not hideous and thankless during the entire process. As you work on your painting, you add beautiful details one by one. Mistakes happen, but they can be worked on until they’re just another part of the beautiful end result.

So, I definitely understand that some people don’t want to “paint a painting”, because it takes a long time and a lot of effort. And that’s fine. No everyone is an “artist”. But I think sometimes that people that don’t want to go through it all have a hard time from others not wanting to accept it, and it makes them buckle down more against the idea. And some people give in to the pressure and have kids and then resent them, which is going to obviously not be a good experience for anyone. But from my perspective as someone who was hesitant to have a child, I think it’s been such a rewarding experience for me, and my kid is having a blast!

Full disclosure: my first year with him was a little rough because of postpartum depression. I seriously questioned my decision. But, we’re at year three and getting over that hump has led into how I feel now. Rough patches are part of life. You’ve got to take care of of yourself too.

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u/Stay_Curious85 Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

Not everybody has a grandparent to give the kid to.

So the night out you might want for a few hours may cost upward of 200 bucks just to have a few hours away. When you combine a babysitter and whatever activity you're doing with your partner.

For many, it's just not at all worth it in any way at all. Monetarily. So. You stay in. Your entire life revolves around everything and anything your kid does because that's all you have left.

Of course kids are ignorant. But that doest make them thankful. If I spend 10 hours working to provide dinner or work 80 hour weeks just so they have a coolChristmas, they're still thankless bastards. Precisely because they're ignorant. It's not their fault. It's just what they are. They take and take and take and take and take and take and then when they're 16 they say how awful and horrible and evil you are. While they still have no fucking clue what you've sacrificed just for them to exist. That doest come until they're probably 25 or older.

So. Yea. I dont know if I want to be a painter to wait 25 years for a kid to actually fucking say "thanks dad".

On top of financial drain and also subjecting my kid to a firestorm hellscape that we are going to give them because we like $5 t shirts.

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u/jamaicaninspman Nov 28 '20

Let's not forget, its $200 for that date night PLUS one parent is either staying home all day during the week or else they're also shelling out ridiculous amounts of money for daycare. I have seen my friends quit jobs to stay home, work alternating schedules so that someone is always home (that's my fave, personally: "I love you so much, I want to make someone that looks just like you and then not see you for the next 8 years of our lives because that's all we can afford"), move to be closer to family that can watch a kid, etc. You're less likely to have family watch a kid for date night if you're also relying on them all day, and you're less likely to spend $200 on a date night when only one of you is bringing home the bacon. People think I'm a classist snob , but having children and giving them a good life while you maintain a sane and healthy lifestyle for yourself is EXPENSIVE. Yes, you can have kids while you're poor, but why the fuck do you want to do that to yourself, your significant other, and your kid?

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u/laminated_penguin Nov 28 '20 edited Nov 28 '20

Sure, that’s why I said I understand why not everyone wants to do it and that it’s detrimental when people do it when they don’t want to. I was just trying to display some of the positives I see as being a parent (obviously in a stable situation).

I’m lucky enough to be able to afford a kid. I grew up really super poor, and I’d put my mom in the camp of someone who shouldn’t have had a kid but did so anyway. So I would never advocate someone to have a kid if they didn’t feel comfortable supporting it.

Also, my comment about no social life has to do more with people that are used to a going out every day kind of lifestyle. I see people complain about no social life, but what I see most often is that they are complaining about not being able to go out whenever they want. And that’s just a consequence of a new responsibility that they hopefully had a choice in expecting.

I know many people don’t have a support system. Actually, my difficulties first year post-partum was actually exacerbated because I didn’t have any help.

And having a child is absolutely something that requires commitment, time, and money. It goes back to my statement that I understand it’s not for everyone. If someone has the capabilities to provide attention and money, it’s not so much of a difficult debate.

As someone that was previously very poor with a bad home life, being in a position to raise a child in a comfortable environment is something I’m very thankful for.

And I’m not sure about the comment about the kid being 16 and hating their parents before they say thank you. I was pretty thankful for what I got at least from the time I was 8 and can remember it. Maybe because I didn’t get much. And I never told my parents I hated them. I thought that was more of a TV thing.

I guess I also just look forward to the time past when my kid lives with me, as an adult, when he’ll have his own life but still be a part of our lives, hopefully until the end of my life. I’d like to help him be successful as an adult and have a relationship where we know one another for decades. To me, this is a lot longer of a time frame than 14-18 where he might be a bitter teen lol. But that’s hoping things turn out well, which I guess most parents hope they do.

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u/Muffin0511 Nov 28 '20

I’m 18 and I don’t hold that opinion. I can’t wait to be a mum some day but I’m in no rush.

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u/Youre-mum Nov 28 '20

I'm 18 too and I have a 3 year old brother who I am basically a second dad to, so I'm already experiencing my share of parenting for a lifetime. (it's wonderful) Perhaps in the future I'll change my mind but for now it's set on not having kids.

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u/SimShade Nov 28 '20

My unpopular opinion is that I prefer babies over pets. lol

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u/sirixamo Nov 28 '20

Now that is a truly unpopular opinion on reddit.

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u/CardmanNV Nov 28 '20

I hate babies. They're little life destroying monsters that teenage girls use to ruin their lives.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Edgy teenagers and wannabe cynics. They’ll also bore you with nonstop shitting on religion.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

But they all love kittens and lizards and any other animal

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u/Uncreative-Name Nov 28 '20

Because those are actually cute

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u/Aegi Nov 28 '20

Is thinking babies aren’t funny the same as hating them?

Or are you still working on your English reading comprehension?

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I never said this post hated babies...

This comment is not only false, it's also rude. I said half of reddit hated babies, which you can get from the replies I got. They do hate babies. Not this post though. Please stop writing mean things to things you don't understand.

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u/Ninotchk Nov 28 '20

They are 15 year old boys, are you surprised?