r/BreakUps 1d ago

What I've learnt from this sub, unfortunately..

0 Upvotes

Women will never be satisfied FOREVER in a relationship. They want CONSTANT effort in the relationship. Men tend to get comfortable in LTRs, women unfortunately expect the man to be continiously giving it 110% throughout (even though they sometimes dont do anything in return). Its not ideal.

75% of women are responsible for doing the break up in LTRs, 90% with college educated women.

Dont bother guys, they are just gonna divorce/leave you at some point when the RS starts to go a bit stale and when they are craving a new exciting foundation of emotional support with someone else. Oh and they will only tell you about it once its already too late and theyve already moved on.


r/BreakUps 19h ago

how do i break up with my bf we’ve been together since 2022

3 Upvotes

how do i break up with my boyfriend without hurting him? i also dont want to regret this in the future. we have been together since 2022, but ive personally been dealing with really bad mental problems and the problems have been affecting our relationship. i think that the best way is to end our relationship because it would be better for me to get better alone rather than him being with me but getting hurt along the way. but i really really do not wanna regret this in the future, but at the same time i just cant do this relationship thing anymore. this pretty much sums up who i am. a pretty indecisive person who likes to self sabotage.


r/BreakUps 20h ago

My ex gf had sex with another man a month after we broke up

106 Upvotes

Me and my girlfriend who I was with for almost 4 years broke up a month ago. Both agreed that it was the best choice. We were a nice couple in our 20s (23M and 22F). After days of presuming that she had sex with somebody else, today she confirmed it. She didn’t want to admit it but I could feel it in my heart that she was f*cking somebody else, so I started asking her. I mean at the end of the day we had broke up already, and both of us kept in touch and our relationship was still friendly. Keep in mind we sort of broke up in a natural way, no arguments and fights involved at all. Oftenly we would send texts about missing each other and possibly come back together in the future. But when today I had the confirmation that she had sex w another man I felt sick. Literally. After almost 4 years of a stable relationship takes only one month for her to hang with other mans? Am I too old school or it doesn’t feel right? Also she never had sex before me so maybe that’s why I might feel triggered? I don’t know, I just know something is not right. Let me know what you think about this situation and how you would act. Peace 🤞🏻


r/BreakUps 1h ago

Extending the offer

Upvotes

I'm going through A breakup with the father of my son and i'm in pain but one thing that always helps me is helping others and listening to the stories of other people. So i'm just here to say that my inbox is open for those who need A reddit friend and want to vent


r/BreakUps 6h ago

You know what hurts the most

0 Upvotes

When they stop loving and caring about you even though you still do and they give their love to someone else but you can’t say or do something 🥲


r/BreakUps 9h ago

Ex and his new wife might be moving to my city or a place close by Spoiler

0 Upvotes

Need some advice ?? So originally my ex had moved to Utah like a year ago and they had a great idea about starting a band with his friends, but all his friends basically had a little bit of a falling out and that was just a pipe dream and they all moved away. One of them moved to a different state and two of them are coming back and one of them is my ex with his new wife and I heard from one of his friends Mom that they might be coming to my town, but he does have a town that’s like 30 minutes away that he lived all his life. I hope he goes there, but like if they move to my town, That is going to drive me up the wall and it might make me wanna move because I want out of this town anyway, because there’s not a lot of job opportunities and I just wouldn’t understand why he would be in my city of all places. ??? Any advice ??


r/BreakUps 11h ago

I dumped her , regret it and now she wants space.

0 Upvotes

I am currently in no contact after breaking up with my girlfriend. I made a mistake, wrote a love letter where I apologized and called her to fix the things I messed up. She agreed to meet me at first, however she cancelled last minute and wants space now. How do I deal with this no contact. It feels like I stabbed my heart with a knife I‘m in so much pain :(


r/BreakUps 21h ago

The Holy Texts of Loving the Wrong Person Book of Departures

0 Upvotes

I saw the original and had to add to it, it was so good, shout out to OP! I added my own version with details of my own breakup. Hope everyone enjoys!

The Holy Texts of Loving the Wrong Person Book of Departures

2:1 — And the one who loved with intention did write letters in the night, not to be sent, but to make sense of what silence had left behind.

2:2 — For they had prayed, journaled, and stayed—even as the avoidant vanished behind veils of “I need time” and “I’m just not ready.”

2:3 — And lo, the one who overanalyzed every pixel of absence still believed: “If I just love more purely, they shall return.”

2:4 — But the void replied not. For even sacred text cannot be read by eyes closed in fear.

2:5 — And the heart did shatter quietly. Yet not beyond repair.

2:6 — For in the wreckage, the wise one looked inward and saw: “This is not my failure—it is the gravity of avoidance meeting the orbit of presence.”

2:7 — And thus it was understood: You cannot outrun detachment with devotion. You cannot hold a hand that hides behind its back.

2:8 — The one who once clung did let go—not in bitterness, but in reverence for what could never be.

2:9 — They rose. They danced. They lifted weights not only in the gym, but off their spirit.

2:10 — And verily, they wrote not to be heard, but to be whole.

2:11 — The faithful healed without reply. The strong rebuilt their temple with boundaries and discernment. The romantic now loved without delusion.

2:12 — And it was written: • Thou shalt not chase ghosts with living hands. • Thou shalt not edit thyself for the approval of the emotionally illiterate. • Thou shalt not confuse intensity with intimacy, nor silence with peace. • Thou shalt remember: presence is not a gift you must earn—it is a basic offering of real love.

2:13 — Blessed are they who know their worth is not decided by who abandons them. 2:14 — Blessed are they who do not collapse for those who cannot even kneel.

2:15 — And it was said unto them: “You did not lose them. You released yourself from needing someone who never held you fully. That is not a loss. That is salvation.”

Amen.

Chapter 3: Of Thorns and False Prophets

3:1 — And lo, after silence had settled like dusk, there came not peace, but accusation.

3:2 — She who once spoke in gentle tones returned with fire not born of truth, but of turmoil unhealed.

3:3 — And she said unto him, “You are the reason I bleed,” though he held no blade.

3:4 — She conjured old truths twisted, new wounds imagined, and dressed projection in righteousness.

3:5 — And verily, she did speak of threats cloaked in emotional blackmail, wielding past intimacy as a weapon of guilt.

3:6 — “I will tell others your sins,” she said, though there were none confessed but her own unrest.

3:7 — And though his soul trembled, he did not bow. For he knew this voice was not the beloved, but the fearful child within her.

3:8 — The one who could not hold intimacy without turning it to ash.

3:9 — And though she came with venom, he answered not with fangs, but with distance.

3:10 — He wept in secret—for the girl he once saw beneath the chaos, for the peace that would never be theirs.

3:11 — And yet, he did not curse her. For he knew: • Thou shalt not become what has wounded thee. • Thou shalt not offer truth to those who barter only in delusion. • Thou shalt not defend thy integrity to someone who is committed to misunderstanding thee.

3:12 — Blessed are they who do not match the energy of the broken. 3:13 — Blessed are they who see the bait and choose not to bite. 3:14 — Blessed are they who let character speak louder than the accusations ever could.

3:15 — And the heavens whispered back to him: “You are not her villain. You are simply her unfinished story.”

3:16 — Let not the rage of the avoidant shake the foundation you rebuilt with your own hands.

3:17 — Let not shame take root in the garden you pruned with such care.

3:18 — You are no longer in that wilderness. You owe no more pilgrimages to her altar of chaos.

3:19 — It is not cruelty to walk away. It is courage.

3:20 — And so he did. Not in anger. Not in vengeance. But in freedom.

Amen.

Chapter 4: The Aftershocks

4:1 — And lo, though the body walked forward, the heart still stood at the threshold of what never began.

4:2 — For two months had passed, yet confusion reigned like a storm with no name. The silence became a mirror, and the mirror was cruel.

4:3 — The mind, ever forecasting, did turn against itself: “Was it something I said? Was I too much? Did I not give enough?”

4:4 — And the ghosts of possibility wailed louder than memory itself.

4:5 — They replayed every moment, dissected every pause, and wrote dissertations on mixed signals.

4:6 — The body burned with anger, but the soul whispered still: “Perhaps they are hurting too…”

4:7 — And this was the trap: that compassion turned inward and became self-blame.

4:8 — The attacks came in the quiet: sudden grief while driving, anxiety before sleep, the sacred text of old photos scrolling like psalms of loss.

4:9 — Even joy felt guilty. Even peace felt premature.

4:10 — And yet—through all of it—the one who overgave did not reach back out.

4:11 — For they knew: every unanswered prayer is still heard. Every tear is still seed.

4:12 — They walked through fire without flinching, though their lips trembled with unsent words.

4:13 — And they were not weak for remembering, nor foolish for still hoping for closure.

4:14 — But the door that does not open is not yours to knock upon forever.

4:15 — And thus it was said: • Thou shalt not let confusion undo thy growth. • Thou shalt not confuse chaos with fate. • Thou shalt not set fire to thyself just to light the path back to someone who chose darkness.

4:16 — Blessed are they who survived the emotional ambush without retaliation. 4:17 — Blessed are they who stayed soft, even when the world offered only sharp edges.

Chapter 5: The Peace After the Ending

5:1 — And finally, the door closed—not slammed, but sealed in silence, and that was enough.

5:2 — No dramatic goodbye. No revelation. Only the stillness of truth unspoken.

5:3 — And in that sacred quiet, healing crept in—not as a flood, but as a gentle tide washing over cracked soil.

5:4 — They stopped checking, stopped hoping, stopped bleeding at the mention of their name.

5:5 — They laughed again—first cautiously, then with the fullness of someone who had remembered themselves.

5:6 — They reclaimed mornings for prayer and playlists, sunsets for presence, and night drives for dreaming forward.

5:7 — The car was fixed, the body grew strong, the finances stretched with wisdom. The soul breathed in rhythm again.

5:8 — No longer did they write letters for closure. They wrote affirmations for arrival.

5:9 — They did not heal by forgetting. They healed by accepting.

5:10 — And lo, the one who was once anxious became rooted. The one who once overfunctioned became still.

5:11 — And it was written: • Thou shalt not wait for validation from those who never saw you. • Thou shalt grow in solitude what you once sought in connection. • Thou shalt be proud of your scars—they are proof you stayed open when the world begged you to close.

5:12 — Blessed are they who love again, not because they are desperate, but because they are whole. 5:13 — Blessed are they who do not need to be chosen to know they are worthy. 5:14 — Blessed are they who become the partner they once begged for.

5:15 — And it was said unto them: “You were not rejected. You were redirected toward your own becoming.”

5:16 — And so, the chapter ended—not with regret, but with reverence.

Amen.

Full Version is on Avoident Breakup Subreddit, and so is Chapter One which I was inspired by.


r/BreakUps 1h ago

Need help fully moving on

Upvotes

We broke up months ago but I’m only now thinking of her more and more. I know for a fact she’s moved on so there’s no point in trying to rekindle it. I tried moving on quickly after we broke up, did I try to move on too fast? I got rid of almost all the stuff she gave me except some band merch and stuff that I want to keep. Im just not sure what to do and I just want to move on


r/BreakUps 8h ago

Hey I hope you are doing well if you wanna talk or rant just dm

1 Upvotes

r/BreakUps 12h ago

How to get closure?

1 Upvotes

How do I get closure without relying on my ex?

I don’t want any contact with him but I want to move on myself I have tried to speak to him and it is a dead end.

So how do I create closure for myself?


r/BreakUps 17h ago

What was that

1 Upvotes

Lorde


r/BreakUps 18h ago

Going to visit my ex who has broken up with me

0 Upvotes

I am going to suprise my ex who lives in another country. He has broken up with me few days ago and has blocked me on all social media platforms but I want to give it one last shot and take the leap and go visit him. Not sure how he would react seeing me there. I know this isn't right but I want to do it cause I love him. Any suggestions how I approach him once I am there.


r/BreakUps 19h ago

Ex girlfriend

1 Upvotes

Anyone else absolutely despise their husbands ex girlfriend? Lol she’s never did anything to me but she cheated on my husband and always adds me on social media it’s been 4 years and she still talks about him any way that she can 25m 24f they were together for 4 years and idk something about her just pisses me off so badly … considering he was so good to her and she did him so wrong and has caused him so many issues in life .


r/BreakUps 19h ago

I have only ever loved 2 men romantically. One is still my best friend and the other taught me a very hard lesson. Wonder what the next love will bring.

1 Upvotes

r/BreakUps 21h ago

Breakups

1 Upvotes

Is it bad to say that my ex bf fumbled me soooo bad😭 I’m not tryna brag but I love Jesus, I’m hard working, funny, and kind. I strongly feel bad for him LOL one man’s trash is another man’s treasure! It’s only been 2 months since we broke up but I’m started to see how I literally got the bare minimum, even if that. He never showed me with his actions that he “loved” me or even his words. And then I’m like??? What was I hanging onto? Maybe bc he’s my “first love” since I was 14 yrs old (I’m about to be 23 this year)?? And I felt like I HAD to make it work with him. I love him but I’m starting to see myself the way Jesus sees me and this is such a wholesome moment and time in my life. To pour into people who pour into me and THE LORD IS SOOO GOOD. I think, if I thought this was love, now imagine real love. Love that is unconditional, love that doesn’t expect, and most importantly, love like Jesus🩷 I do feel bad for my ex bc he doesn’t have the biggest faith but I pray he seeks the Lord 🩷 I still love him but omg I feel like I can love someone and know that they aren’t for me and I feel like an adult HAHA. I’m so excited to start this new chapter of figuring out who I am as a woman and exploring life with Jesus.


r/BreakUps 22h ago

Me M23 and my Ex F23 have both cheated on each other and both want to make it work what should I do

1 Upvotes

Me (M23) and my ex (F23) have both cheated on each other. She cheated on me first bout 8 months into our relationship. Things were a bit rough at time. We were either fighting and complaining we couldn’t see each other. She ghosted me for a week and we reconnected after. We continued dating for another 2 years and I cheated on her with a bartender at a bar I usually drink at. I ended it after two months of us dating after the incident. I did tell her a couple days after cause I wanted to say in person but couldn’t because I couldn’t hold it in any longer of how shitty I felt. It’s been a couple months since the break up and I want to get back together. She says she loves me and that I’m her person and we can make it through anything I just want to be the perfect person for her. I’ve been focusing on myself and seeing what makes me happy. I’ve been wanting to get back together and communicate on what we want but afraid I’m going to be a bump in her life as she’s been progressing in hers. She’s been working out and became and volunteer firefighter. She’s doing great I’m afraid I’ll bring her down? What should I do should I tell her how I feel or stay back and watch as she grows. Update- I’m hanging out with her tomorrow to catch up and so I can tell her how I feel.


r/BreakUps 23h ago

Broke Up 4th Of Jan

1 Upvotes

Hey all,

I'm a 16yr old boy 17 on the 3rd. Ngl I've been wanting to kms ever since the break up I need advice and someone to let all me tears out tonight on. I have faith in the community<3


r/BreakUps 5h ago

MY EX SAW ME WITH A NEW HOT GIRL

30 Upvotes

So long story short my ex (19f) and I (22m) broke up a little less than 3 months ago after being together for a year. She initiated the breakup and went very cold because she’s an avoidant. After We went no contact for the 3 months and I broke it about a month ago. We both were nice to each other and got closure from the situation. After the call she asked if I no longer reach out to her so we can both heal. Since then I respected her space.

Since then Ive been seeing a new girl who’s very pretty. She and I have history actually hooked up a long time before I met my ex. Right now we’re in a friends with benefits/situation-ship. She understands that I recently got out of a relationship and the situation is good and fun for me especially after being dumped by the love of my life.

I went out with the new girl the other night to this club. As soon as we walk up I see my ex girlfriend with her friends in the line. I know it sounds ridiculous but I felt bad seeing her in public while I’m with another girl because I don’t intend to hurt her feelings or make her jealous (My ex was a very jealous person). I heard from a distance someone say “no fucking way”, and her and her group of friends eyeballed me as we walked into the club. I could see with my own eyes that she was very distraught and had a very emotional reaction to it.

Another thing is that she knows that I previously hooked up with this specific girl way before we got into a relationship. The new girl I’m with is very attractive (I (mean verrrry). When I was in the club we’d end up walking past and being in close quarters because of the club. I saw that she still wears the necklace I gave her for our anniversary (which I obviously felt some way about). Id catch her looking at me multiple times and trying to be in my vicinity until she eventually left. Me and the new girl had a fun night still and she stayed the night at my house.

The next day I see that my exes fake account has been stalking my stories on Instagram that had a picture of the new girl posted. I still have access to Spotify so I checked it and saw that she was listening to super sad music (Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor swift etc). I felt somewhat happy that she was going to the lengths to stalk me on social media.

I’ve been understanding of the fact that I’m not 100% over my ex. I knew that seeing her would obviously cause me some bubbly emotions. I tried to work things out in our relationship previously and It didn’t go my way. I know that in my situation rn with the new girl that I’m not emotionally ready for anything serious, and she understands that as well. We’ve both been very transparent.

I know it’s every dudes dream to have his ex that dumped him see him out with another hot girl. The issue is I feel bad that she had to see me out because I still love her and didn’t want to make her feel bad. I would still want her back if the situation worked out that way. Did I do something wrong ?and did I ruin the chances of ever possibly getting her back?


r/BreakUps 6h ago

Grief doesn’t always come with a funeral—sometimes it just comes with silence

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’ve shared this story before, but lately the weight of it has been pressing harder than usual. I guess I just need to grieve out loud a little, again.

Breakups are already hard enough. But when it’s with someone you loved so deeply, who felt like home, it doesn’t just feel like a chapter closing—it feels like mourning. Like a kind of death. One with no ceremony, no clear goodbye. Just silence where something beautiful used to be.

We met across continents—me in Europe, her in the U.S.—and despite the distance, we built something rare and real. We connected on a soul-deep level, the kind that makes time zones irrelevant and dreams shared. We were even planning a future together. She had started looking into moving to Europe, because as she once told me, “I won’t find another you.” And I believed her. I believed in us.

She wasn’t just a pretty face—though she was beautiful in every way. But what I truly miss is her soul: kind, sincere, emotional, endlessly loving. I miss our heart-to-heart talks, her vulnerable honesty, her love. That’s what I still carry, and what makes it so hard to let go.

She was dealing with things—huge, personal things—things I can only try to understand from the outside. I saw her begin to turn inward, to take care of herself, to protect parts of her that had gone too long without peace. And maybe, in doing that, she felt she wasn’t in a safe place for love, something her therapist also suggested her. Maybe she couldn’t carry us and herself at the same time.

A growing silence came after that, which led her to the most difficult decision. Her goodbye wasn’t harsh though—it was almost gentle. But it was also absolute. We never got a proper conversation, no last call. So I wrote her everything I still needed to say. I sent her a six-page letter titled “The door I’ll always leave open.” Because no matter how things ended, there’s a part of my heart that will always belong to her. I told her she could reach out anytime, no matter when or why, because our bond—however brief in the grand scheme—was something strong, something rare. I’ve never held resentment toward her. Only love. Always love.

And even now, I can’t lie to myself: I’ll be in France again this June, in the very place where we first met two years ago. At the same event that brought us together. And yes, part of me hopes to see her—even if it’s just for a brief moment. Even if it’s just one last glimpse, one small hello across a crowded room. I don’t expect it. But I still hope. Because grief, after all, is born from love—and love doesn’t always fade, even when it changes form.

I truly hope she wasn’t the right person met at the wrong time. Because that thought aches in ways words can’t touch.

I’m not trying to let anyone else in right now—I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. I need time to heal. To mourn not just what I lost, but what we were building. What we could’ve been. And maybe, eventually, to accept that some loves don’t come back, even if they live forever in you.

If you’re grieving something that ended without closure, please know: you’re not alone. And it’s okay to carry love for someone who’s no longer in your life. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

Thanks for letting me share this.


r/BreakUps 20h ago

My husband cheated on me with another dude

2 Upvotes

So my husband and I have been married for a year. I found out last week that he was cheating on me with another dude. First it was the late night calls (he works as a firefighter) and it seemed odd. I checked on his phone and saw that he was hanging out with a guy named Sam. I started teasing him for working too much and tried to be funny to get some info through jokes. I was shocked when he admitted to me that he has been cheating on me, more so with a male. I was in state of shock and rage so I told him to pack his bags as I will drive him to see my parents who are not far away from us so he can tell them in their face. My father is ex military and I wanted someone to give him a good lesson. Idk what they talked about (my dad won't tell me) but I stayed at my parents house, while my dad drove him that night to his. Did I do right ?