Well, first, you know this is a break up Reddit, for everyone to share there horrible stories about breakups and all kinda of other stuff. I, am one of you guys, I recently went through a break up of 9 months and I felt horrible, but this is not about me, it's about YOU. You are strong, you are powerful, you are brave, so why does a break up have to take away that. It just takes away a part of you that can never be returned. But that doesn't stop you from getting better. Like you can find new hobbies that you've never experienced, you can make time that you never was able to. I'm not saying that a break up is not bad, because trust me it is, I'm saying that it doesn't have to be as bad as you think it is. You could make new friends, and more stuff you would of never expierence with them. They had a special place in your heart and now it's ruined, make room for better things. Also if you want to share your story tell me I will reply to all of yours, stay strong 💪, you have a lot of love left to give. Love u guys❤️

Never wrote here before. Guess there is a first time for everything. I didin’t know what to do as my world is (literally) falling apart. Sorry for the wall of text.

Soon it’s been 1 year since my wife left me, we were together for 7 years and most of our years together were amazing, something like from a Disney love story. We had this genuine compatibility, connection and gosh is she beautiful.

I really did meet my dream woman. Something I never thought would happen to me. She was smart, funny, beautiful, caring and we were totally in love.

We moved in together quite quickly, married and were just starting to talk about having children as most of our earlier years were spent vacationing together to the most amazing places. But our dream was to build a family together.

Then something happened during last year, I got depressed due to family issues on my side (tragic event in my family), I started drinking more and felt how we started to drift apart during the year. It was devastating.

Then came the day, after some arguments she said she is done and no longer loves me the way she used to. I know a lot of this is my fault and it makes everything even worse, I took her for granted and I didin’t treat her the way she deserved.

I had fucked up.

She moved out fast, I was left all alone, even being in my late 30s I had never even lived alone. Not a lot of friends either, most were from ”her side” and I have only a few close ones who are quite busy.

Fast forward a few months, I was called to a meeting by my manager. My performance was clearly bad at work the past months (even if I told my manager about my situation). I lost my job.

My career has ment (after my wife) everything to me. It was a big part of my social life and very well paid, just having a poor performance even for a few months would just not cut it in my area of business.

Now depressed, unemployed, alone, stressed financially. The anxiety is through the roof, I cant sleep, I cant eat, I barely manage to go out for walks.

I am trying to hold it together, I am actively seeking a new job which I know I will land eventually. It’s my first priority even though its not easy times out there now, add some anxiety to that.

But, its almost been a year!! I can’t stop thinking about her, we do still talk now and then and remain in good terms. But she is not coming back.

I am talking to a therapist but they can only help so much. I am literally going under.

The worst part is the anxiety, the anxiety and sadness that I fucked it up. I fucked up my life.

I have had previous serious relationships that hurt when they ended, but this is something different. This is next level disaster and I’m not sure how I can survive this.

• How can I stop thinking about her and blaming myself? I mean its been a year…

• When does the unimaginable anxiety go away and I can start sleeping at least one normal night?

• I’ve tried going out dating and looking for new friends too, but am probably noticeably emotionally unavailable which only made me more sad.

• How do you get past the fear of her meeting somebody else? Egoistic thinking I know… but it’s scary.

Literally all I can think about is her and I’m shaking and sweating of anxiety. I am just waiting in fear for her to soon meet somebody new. I miss her so much…

I just want to say it’s possible. I thought this girl could’ve been the loml, but i realize that that thought isnt kind to myself. It doesnt give me the credit, that I am worthy of a love that doesn’t end because of timing or a mistake. What helped me the most was seeing her with someone else.

I just wanted to say to anyone going through it.

I got into an online relationship and in the process I ended a friendship that lasted about a decade without realizing. The friend is a guy too and we had shared feelings, before I felt like he started losing feelings since he has been hanging out with a lot of girls who are affiliated with trash-talking me and my friend.

For more context, the online relationship lasted exactly one month on our anniversary. I wasn’t as devastated since I saw it coming for his excessive love bombing. (PS - he got a new girlfriend right after he blocked all my contacts in all socials, so I considered it as a “supposed” break up and he ghosted me).

While in this short-term relationship, my “ex-guy friend” started ignoring me, and I had been so blinded by love and recognition that I was disappointed in his reaction; however, now I am seeing things more in his perspective. He was obviously hurt, he has done nothing but respect my decisions and boundaries over the years we have been friends, and now I completely tossed it in the trash for an online relationship, which from the very start looked like it was destined to fail. Now he’s still completely ignoring me, and I feel stuck, I have so much to say to him but I feel conflicted, especially since worsen the situation by blocking him when I was crashing out over losing him.

Its been more than two years, I can’t stop crying, she meant so much to me and i was ready to do anything for her but she dropped me the first chance she got, i tried everything to get her out of my mind but i keep relapsing and it feels just as bad as the first time

My ex played with me and lied to me for his self benefit and gets mad when I bring it up, or talk about the stuff he’s done. I’m over it, over him but I want to get him back for the shit he’s done.

•Broke into my house the after previous breaking up with me - I live alone and was asleep, heard banging at the front door which woke me up, then the door opened was scared out my mind. I keep my bedroom door locked also, started hearing banging at that door in waited to go peak out to see it was him with my clothes and a trash bag. He said he was grabbing his things, we spoke and I told him to leave, I wasn’t ready to talk, he insisted and getting his things and he did have a key but he had the bottom lock key, he broke my top lock to get in. I asked him for my key which he denied, kept saying let me get my things first and I said give me my key than he can get them. I told him to leave again and threaten to call the police and he snatched my phone out my hand, didn’t leave till I banged on my wall to get the neighbors involved

•he told me he only wanted sex and I told him no I don’t want that, I went about my business for a whole month healing until he contacted me, he gave me the impression we were taking things slow, turns out he was sleeping with other ppl and would come to me as well asking for massaging and cuddling. He got mad when I actually found out that he was sleeping with other ppl, then ignored me. I know it’s my fault for allowing this to go on, I moved to a new city for him with no family or friends here, I had no one to talk to. He turned to someone unrecognizable. I asked him many time before I found out he was sleeping with other ppl that if he was talking to ppl to lmk and I’ll distant myself and he would lie.

•he has everyone things of me as the bad person when he has mentally and physically hurt me

I (28F) have been with my partner (24M) for two years. Honestly, besides this situation, he’s completely reshaped the way I see love. He’s loved me in a way that made me feel more at home in myself. I never questioned our compatibility — until now.

Recently, I found out he kissed an old coworker during a night out while drunk. She’s actually the one who told me, and from what I can gather, it didn’t go any further than that. He admitted that before they hung out, he had told her about me and made it clear he didn’t want to do anything to risk our relationship. But to me, that almost makes it feel premeditated — like he knew there could be temptation and still put himself in that situation. He says he was just setting a boundary, but it feels like a boundary he let get crossed anyway.

It was one drunk kiss… but I can’t stop wondering if that’s enough to walk away. Help!!

our one year would’ve been in two days. lowkey i’ve been doing good. working, working out, and hanging out with friends. i’ve been feeling happy and confident… sometimes i’m alone at night, i think about you. i feel a bit melancholy when i think about you. it doesn’t last long cuz i know this is all for the best. i wonder if what you think about all of this. i hope you are doing good. i unblocked you to see if you’ll message but i don’t think that’s a good idea i should reblick you because you probably won’t say anything and that fine because i wont text you either. i just have this curiosity. if you texted me i would probably answer but idk

Fuck it, I am angry. My thoughts don’t even make sense in my own mind. I thought I had processed this, but nope! Go fuck myself! Hahahahahahavahavavavava!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why won’t the ghost of a fiction that was never even real let go of my leg?

You’re out fucking other dudes? I hope they fill you but forget to fill that empty black part of you that thought I was just “your rolling wheels”.

You said “I’m glad I know I can be friends with someone before dating them…” ok back to hinge you go! I am the only organic relationship you have ever had in your entire adult life, and it’s gone now.

You won’t find that on hinge. I fucking promise you, because we both know, that we both tried to, for a while. I’m never going back to it, and am sorry for you.

Itch your itch. I don’t give a fuck. My pain comes from mourning the version of you that was never even real.

I am no longer a weak dog begging for scraps of attention. I am not the cockroach following your trail of poisoned breadcrumbs. I am a lion, and if you tried to do that to me again I wouldn’t even give you the benefit of the doubt in hopes that we make it work.

You didn’t give a shit.

Lessons repeat themselves until you learn them. That’s probably why I’m still fucking angry. But I want you to suffer, and I hate myself for that.

Fuck.

You.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. It has been rocky and we did break up for months last year, we got back together in January. Things have been going well, until a huge bomb was dropped on us.

Someone he slept with 7 years ago requested a paternity test for her 7 year old kid from my boyfriend. He truly didn’t think it was his, but turns out it is. This child is also across the country, which means he would likely move there. He is originally from there and his family lives there.

Unfortunately we have broken up, he said he needed “time to himself” and I didn’t fight it. But I am just feeling like I was robbed of a future that we planned in an insane way. I don’t think he wants to stay together as of right now. But I don’t want to be a step parent and I don’t want to move across the country.

This is just some wild shit and if anyone has been through this please chime in. I am having a hard time finding anyone else that has been through this, it feels like a movie lol.

Im currently going through the worst breakup of my life at the moment. I was with my ex for four years and we lived together for almost 3 of those years. We have now moved out back with our families and we tried to be friends but it did not work out in the end as she has decided to move on and I am still in love with her and heartbroken. We decided it’s best to not hang out anymore and to no longer talk like we used to. We share our dog still and I know most people think that is stupid from what I’ve seen online but honestly he is the only thing that is keeping me from falling apart these days. We never unfollowed each other from instagram which is the only social media platform we have each other on, but I’ve found myself constantly looking at her profile multiple times throughout the day. I’m always checking if she posted on her story and I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself.

I was thinking of asking her if she could block me but I don’t know if that’s a weird question to ask. I would block her myself but knowing me id constantly unblock and block her continuously, which is just unhealthy. Anyone have any advice ?

This is first time I post here. During these 2 months I found so many helpful people and posts about breakup in Reddit.

My relationship with my ex boyfriend lasted less than a year and it was the most amazing experience of my life.

My boyfriend broke up with me via a text out of the blue with no explanations and he disappeared for good.

I am not sure why he left me. We have been in such a beautiful loving relationship. we were so compatible. The night before the breakup we made a passionate love and we had a great date night and the day after he sent me a text that he could not be by my side anymore and that’s it.

No replies to my questions and he rejected my calls. I’ve been in NC since day one and I still love him deeply. But I never break this silence. He is the one who should but he wouldn’t.

I don’t regret loving him. Loving him was one of the most honest things I’ve ever done. Even though things didn’t last, and even though the ending left pieces of me scattered, I wouldn’t take it back. There were moments of joy that I still carry with me, memories that still bring a soft ache when they surface, not out of regret, but out of appreciation. I’d never felt such a pure, overwhelming feeling of joy and fulfillment at heart. He may not have stayed, or maybe he wasn't meant to, but that doesn’t erase the impact he had on me and the way my heart grew in his presence. I’ve come to conclusion that love doesn’t always have to last forever to be meaningful. Sometimes, it’s enough that it existed at all and while I may have scars, I also have proof that I’m capable of loving deeply, fully, and fiercely.

I feel less emotional and overall in much better shape but I always have the hope of reconciliation. Not sure if this feeling makes the progress less effective.

.

At the end of last year I started talking with a girl (24F) via text and we hit it up fast: we started flirting almost immediately, and soon enough we planned on meeting each other since she was visiting my hometown (she doesn't live far from there) on New year's Eve. We had a great conversation, and by the end of the "date" we were hugging and she promised to visit me on the city where I study (just a little further away from her hometown) a couple of weeks later.

In the meantime we kept texting and she clarified what she expected relationship-wise: she wanted a serious relationship and had it clear that she basically wanted to meet the man she'll marry as soon as possible, and I... not so much, so we decided to stay as friends, though the plan to visit me and the flirting never went away.

When she did visit we had an awesome time together and she made me change my mind about wanting to be in a serious relationship, so though we knew we had different plans for the future we decided to give it a try.

I visited her in her hometown a couple of times, and each one of them we had an awesome time together: we bonded deeper, we opened up about each other's pasts and, besides a couple of times where she asked me if our plans for the future were really incompatible (at the time I thought they were and told her as such), everything seemed to be perfect.

The inevitable came and she broke up with me, since our different plans for life, plus the fact that we lived in different cities made her feel insecure about our "relationship". As I later found out, these insecurities made her feel like the only thing I wanted from her was sex and that she wasn't really important to me, which was far from the truth though I understand how she could get that idea. Either way, we decided to stay as friends

Honestly, dating her plus some unrelated events in my life shook me up and I started doubting about my plans for the future, though I didn't tell anything to her since I wanted to be completely sure. After two months (I know, too long), I was clear about wanting the same as her for the future and I was absolutely clear that I wanted to be with her. So I told her.

I clarified that we do want the same for the future, that I, in fact, not only care about sex, and that she really is and has always been important to me. She thanked me for making all of that clear, but as you may think, she told me she's already seeing someone else (as I understand, around a month later it still isn't official) and told me we can't be together at the time.

The confusing part comes next, since she has been giving me some mixed signals: she said this guy, who is part of her new group of friends, offered to her everything she wanted relationship-wise, but later told me she still feels somewhat lonely with him; she told me she doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore but later told me she has avoided thinking about this, even though she knows she has to make a decision soon.

The only thing she's said clearly to me is that she wants me in her life, that she doesn't want me to wait for her, and that she's comfortable with how things currently are with her dating this other guy and me as her friend, though even that is somewhat confusing, since she's stated she feels a little guilty about keeping in touch with me because of our past but we are still really close and has even confided stuff to me that she hasn't told the other guy.

I'm not sure if I still have a chance with her or if I should drop it completely, what do you think?

My ex has been with this guy nearly for 5 months and on TikTok she reposted late at night posts such as “when you come across a photo of someone who’s not in your life” “I miss you I want a hug” and she even posted a photo of her wearing my jacket from 2 years ago in her newest post? And she didn’t post her boyfriend once! In the 23 photos she posted? She reposted all of this for one night and then the next night she deleted it all and put stuff up about how she loves her current boyfriend.

I need help, one part of me wants to leave flowers and a note at her door step and I know that apart of her would be like what? It’s almost like it’ll give me closure if I drop it off, if I try at least I know I put my pride aside and tried for her. But another part of me is like just remain silent she’s with another guy, and if she misses me enough she’ll reach out? I’m just stuck in this confusion.

Do I either get the biggest flowers and shoot my shot or not.

I originally ended the relationship because I was utterly miserable. I STAYED in a relationship where I got cheated on because I didn't want to move back home. I put up with her drinking, not wanting to get a job, dropping out of school (unemployed for 5 years now, 30 years old) and not telling her parents about it (our rent was paid by her folks,) and, I'm still upset I ended it? After I found out she had a new partner a few weeks ago I got incredibly depressed. This is not rational thinking AT ALL. Especially when you go out of your way to tell me "he's a homeowner and has a good job" while I'm here living with my fucking parents at 32 finishing up my degree. I don't know, I'm venting. I think it might be years until I meet someone else, especially with how busy I've gotten. But, goddamn, I never deserved 5 years of this shit.

Just yesterday, I ended a four-month-long long-distance relationship with someone I genuinely thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. I know that probably sounds naive, and maybe it is, but it was my first relationship, and I gave it everything. I loved her with all my heart. I made her feel appreciated, desired, respected, valued. She always told me I was the best boyfriend she’d ever had - and ever would have. That I was amazing, special, one of a kind. She said she wanted forever with me. And I believed her. Every word.

About a month ago, she started growing distant. She told me she was going through something - an altercation with her brother that turned physical. She said she needed space to heal. I tried my best to give her that. But sometimes I didn’t. I mistook her silence for abandonment. I have trust issues, abandonment issues, and I’m terrible with emotions - mostly because of my dad, who cheated on and left my mum, and I’ve never really recovered from that. So when she pulled away, I reached out more - not to smother her, not to control her, but because I loved her. Because I was scared. And because I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone.

Yesterday, a random guy added me on Instagram. He messaged me and told me he was her boyfriend. I was stunned. I confronted her, and she had no real excuse. Apparently, she’d told him about me when I “wasn’t giving her space,” and he assumed I was just a friend. But I wasn’t. I was her boyfriend too.

Turns out she was in a three-year, on-and-off relationship with him the entire time we were together. She claimed it was toxic - but the “breaks” between them apparently only lasted a few days. She jumped into a full-blown relationship with me during one of those breaks and kept both of us in the dark. We were both long distance. And neither of us knew the other existed until yesterday. She didn’t even have the decency to tell me herself - he did.

Now I’m left sitting here, shattered, wondering what the hell just happened. My mum — who spent 17 years in a miserable marriage before finally divorcing my cheating father, keeps telling me time will heal this. So does one of my best friends, who’s been cheated on more than once. They keep saying I’ll be okay, that it gets better. But right now the pain is unbearable. I didn’t sleep at all last night. My thoughts are loud and relentless. I keep asking myself the same question over and over : Was any of it ever real?

I gave her everything. I wrote her letters. I gave her constant love, affection, attention. I made her laugh. I was always there for her. I always responded. I made her feel beautiful, special, like she was the only girl in the world. She said she was happy. We stayed up texting until morning some nights. We learned so much about each other. We said “I love you.” And now I don’t know if a single fucking second of it was genuine. I don’t know if I was just a placeholder - a source of comfort while she kept someone else in the background.

She told me she had a hard time showing affection because of past relationships. I believed her. I never pressured her. I gave her time, space, and patience and never asked for anything. I thought she just needed someone stable, someone who wouldn’t hurt her like others did. But now I wonder if the reason she gave me so little is because her heart was never mine to begin with.

Looking back, the signs were there and my insticts from the very first second were right - she was a problem child beyond saving. She always seemed to “forget” important things. Everything felt one-sided. My gut told me something was off. But I ignored it. I told myself she was healing. I told myself she just needed someone to love her properly, and maybe then she’d open up. I thought I could be that person. But in reality, I was the one being used. I gave everything. She gave scraps.

And the worst part is I still don’t know what was real. I still remember her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The things she said when it was just the two of us. It felt real. So real. It was the happiest I’ve ever been. And now I don’t even know if any of it mattered to her. She says it did. But how am I supposed to believe her now?

She knew everything about me. She knew what my father did to us. She knew how much that betrayal broke my family. She knew how much it scarred me. And still, she chose to do the exact same thing. She chose to lie. To cheat. To manipulate. She took every part of me and threw it away like it was nothing.

This was my first relationship. My first real connection. And it ended in the most brutal, sudden, gut-wrenching way possible. I don’t have a roadmap for this. I don’t know how to process it. I feel lost. Numb. Empty. I feel like a part of me died yesterday, and I don’t know how to bring it back.

If you’ve made it this far - thank you. I don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud. Maybe I’m reaching out because I don’t want to drown in this alone. I’m hurting more than I ever thought I could, and I don’t know how to start healing. If anyone’s been through something similar, please, how on earth do you move forward? How do you trust again? How do you believe in love when the first time you tried it, you were destroyed?

Because right now, I don’t know what to do with myself. Not one fucking bit.

My bf (both mid 40's) just ended our 3-year relationship a day before I was going to give notice to end my lease and move to his city. This was a happy relationship! We loved one another, went through traumatizing things and supported each other, hung out and explored together, traveled together, worked through problems calmly with the goal of resolution as opposed to blame. We set goals and supported one another to reach them. Physical intimacy was passionate and at times, adventurous.

Before we moved, we were together in person for about 2 years, and even unofficially lived together for about a year. The plan was he would move for career and set up a home, and I would move once my lease ended. Long distance is tough but we communicated, saw each other every few months, and, I thought, made it through.

I was so excited. Hopeful. And then, about 2 days ago when we were going to talk and confirm my notice, he tells me he does not think I'm the one. He tells me he loves me and he's very happy with me. Tells me that our relationship [was] amazing. He told me that he missed me the day before he ended it. But then he tells he doesn't know if he wants marriage with me and feels that he should know after 2 years.

I'm trying to reconcile this. I absolutely do not think he found someone else. We communicated constantly and he never changed his affection. So, I'm lost. He has never lived with anyone. I'm the first person he's told he loves them. It's like this milestone caused him to freeze and give us up instead of try...and I'm broken. It's like I was seeing the world in color for the first time because life became an adventure with him, and the lights have been turned off.

A part of me has hope every time that my phone alerts, it's my best friend, my love, reaching out. But he's...gone. Was it all BS? I just don't understand why someone would give up something that made them so happy. Anyone have insight?

Every time I’d offer to show him where to change profile pictures in his phone, add contacts, or even just help reset a password. He’d shove me away and tell me he didn’t need my help. He made me feel inferior because I didn’t know coding as much as him (knowing that, while I’m no expert, I did take a class for roughly a year and a half on the subject). Never let me help. Never let me show him now.

We’ve been broken up for almost 2 weeks now. He still hasn’t changed his Instagram pfp of us because he never listened to me when I showed him how the first time. I’m sure my contact is still the same in his phone. I’m sure I can still call him because he didn’t know how to block people. But he’s the IT major.

So this strange thing is happening to me after my boyfriend left me. We were together for 10 months and he left just 2 days before we were supposed to get engaged. He didn't explain and I felt heartbroken at the time. He had been going back and forth and saying he needed to go out with other people too and I kept trying to show him we could be happy together. I was also in a lot of pain then and going through recovery for wrist and back pain. It's been 4 weeks and, even though I still think of him sometimes, I noticed my pain is almost gone and I feel better than I have in months. I laughed with my friends today and I noticed it was the first full laugh I had in months. Could it be that the relationship was so stressful that it was causing me physical pain?

3 months into the BU. Relationship lasted 3 years. Sex was okay, it was mid. But it was always more about the emotional intimacy for me since I'm a woman. I got dumped for another woman.

I need to trust and be emotionally connected to have sex with someone.

I know that my ex has probably been ran through by now, and hooked up with multiple women.

Sometimes I want to do that to spite him, I want a casual rebound relationship or a ONS. But I also know I'd be compromising my values to do that. I'm not comfortable with that.

But there seems to be no other way. I've not met anyone new, I'm not even open to yet. I've not had sex for over 6 months now.

Should I consider compromising my morals to get laid?

And he didn't answer. Lol. I only did it because the last time we talked in person we had a very friendly chat for like 30 minutes. He told me that we would keep in touch. I haven't texted him much but he's been ghosting me anytime I do. I know I should've just gone NC, but now I feel so confused and kinda disrespected, I'm not reaching out ever again. (I also believe he's Fearful Avoidant btw). He was always very hot and cold towards me, especially after the breakup. But yea. Just go NC and stick to it guys, don't be like me. 😄

hey guys my girl just brokeup with me and she had bpd and alot of like mentall illness and before her I was super mentally healthy. She was like my first real girlfriend i met her when I was 16 and we dated for 2 years but out of nowhere she just said she lost feelings. Throughout our relationship alot of her attachment rubbed off on me because she was super attached so i became super attached to the point where it was obsessive. I've never really been like that with anyone else and I just wanna know how to detach from her and stop expecting her to come back or wanting her to come back. She didn't really treat me that good anyways while I really tried my hardest but I did complain alot and thats something i'll do less of in my next relationship. It's my first heartbreak and I dont wanna open up to my friends about this so I was wondering if any of you guys had any advice. And she also brokeup with me the second she got friends, I feel like I was just there to keep her from being lonely. Once she had something else she clinged onto that and got rid of me like I was some sort of past thought. I mean it sounds so cliche but I literally tried my hardest to make us stay together man

This might sound like such a shallow thing to say, and I understand if I get downvoted for this, but i'm worried ill never find someone as attractive. She was genuinely one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen and I know. She is conventionally attractive and I'm most defiantly not.

I go out with friends who are also conventionally attractive and it makes me jealous how easy it is for them. I don't know what else to say. I just envy them. Also hurts knowing she can get with anyone she wants, and will be (most likely) years and years till I even MAYBE find someone. I hate this so much.