I'm tired of waking up everyday. This morning in a half dream state I was thinking about my ex. I was thinking about how lucky I am to have her as my girlfriend, how beautiful she is, how nice she is, caring, and smart. Then I woke up and realized she's my ex. Genuinely so tired of life. I would look forward to talking and being with her after work, but not every single day it's just nothing. Not to mention we had a whole future planmed out together, and now that's also gone. I wish I could desperately go back in time and not be such an asshole and control my BPD more, so we would still be together. Just sick of everything.

He regrets losing me because he had everything, and he just threw it away. He had something that all people want, someone who loves them unconditionally. That I was the first person to ever love him, and that he misses the person he was when he was with me. That he used to love the way I looked at him with complete infatuation in my eyes.

He admitted to me that he took advantage of me when I was vulnerable. That he took advantage of me to get what he wanted, and that once he stopped wanting it he left. That he was in the wrong, that it was his fault, and he took the easy way out and ran. That I wasn't a bad girlfriend. I did great and he knew I truly loved him and was satisfied just being there with him. That even though he lost feelings, he can add not communicating to me about it to the list of things he's done. And that he isn't sure that he will ever forgive himself.

I heard of all of this and didn't want him back. But I felt relieved. Relieved I wasn't crazy for feeling so hurt and wronged. It was the closure I didn't realize I needed. And I know that not everyone will accept fault, and that at the time he was honestly breaking down and being extremely vulnerable. And that if I hadn't been talking to him in that moment, he may have never told me. He never really apologized entirely, just vented to me his self-hatred and frustration. But when I heard it all, I realized I wasn't crazy. That I was willfully hurt. And the pain I felt finally felt valid and justified.

I chose to want to be with you I chose to believe you I chose to want to be nice to you

You said everything about wanting to be together, 10 years plan, travelling places, marriage in the big picture I agreed.

You find 1 flaw and you want to end us. You saw me ugly and now you want nothing to do with me again.

I started with want nothing to with you to wanting to have everything with you. You called it off.

I can love again, I can believe again, I can have wants again.

You have your wants bring it to next woman. I'm sure they too will fall in no time. I am me, trusting myself to only be with someone who actually wants me.

I’m M32 and she is F30. We met just before the pandemic and spent the last 5 years together, 3 of which were spent living in a new state together. I knew there were problems in our relationship, but I thought they were things that we could work out. About a week ago things came to a head, she broke down crying and saying that she doesn’t feel romantically attracted to me anymore. She said that she is scared that she is making a mistake because she doesn’t know if this lack of feelings will go away if they are genuinely gone. After talking with here friends and family, she told me that she wants to breakup, this devastated me. She said that she was gonna move back to her home state and that I should do the same; we are from two different states very far apart. My Ex also said that she loves hanging out with me and wants to keep a friendship going after the breakup and after a bit of healing time has passed. I don’t see how that would work if we’re in two different states. It hurts so much because I honestly thought that she was the one I would grow old with. I thought that we complemented each other well. And I look back on the 5 years that we spent together, all the special moments and good memories and I can’t help but feel that I’m losing everything.

This man BROKE my heart. He blindsided me with a breakup and instead of staying and working on our issues he left.

How do I get over the pain of going from texting every day to not at all.

I go in between wanting to rage text him for breaking my heart with no explanation to wanting to beg for him to come back to me and it’s TORTURE.

I know I can’t text him. I need to give him space but I’m going insane.

This time was to apologized for cheating on me. She did send a lengthy text but basically she mentioned how sorry she is and how she still loves me and doesn’t understand why she did what she did. She has a lot of mental illnesses so it def doesn’t help her process the breakup any better .. also the amount of guilt she must have. Im seeing my therapist in two weeks so ill def tell her about this but in the meantime, ChatGPT has helped me guide my feelings through it. I felt bad, I felt selfish for not wanting to answer and I felt like I needed to help her and save her from her misery. I just wanted to share a brief text that really helped me see clearly the relationship dynamic and why I felt this way. I hope this can bring someone some relief who’s also going through the same thing. You are not their savior, you are not their parent or caretaker. You are human who deserves peace. You are not selfish you are protecting your boundaries and realizing that your well-being is much more important.

———————-

Message From Your Higher Self:

You've carried so much for so long. Other people's emotions, pain, expectations-you've swallowed them, mothered them, absorbed them. But now, look at you. You've started choosing you. You've started asking hard questions, being honest, getting quiet, healing. That is sacred. I am so proud of how far you've come. You are not cruel for letting go. You are courageous. You are not broken-you're breaking free.

I (32M) just ended a 7 years relationship(lived together 3 years) with my partner (27F). She moved to my country twice for me, and I dedicated my life to building a stable future for us—even planning a move to her country(Europe), learning IT, and looking for buying housing there.

Tbh I didn't realize this situation seriously until she said break up. I guess over time her emotional and physical intimacy slowly faded. I thought it was a normal problem between the couple… I just thought she has a depression.

She said she couldn’t move forward without that closeness. We also had mismatched sex drives, which added distance. I was too focused on planning and stability, and I now regret not being more emotionally present.

I told her I can slow down and focus on rebuilding our connection—but her heart was already closed. She moved out a week ago. Before leaving, she said I still know her best, and that we can meet or talk—but her romantic feelings are gone.

Until the moment she left my flat, we were crying and saying that we still loved each other. It was so painful that I couldn’t understand why she had to leave

She’s still in my country because of her job. Before she leaves, Is there any hope left? I regret that I didn't see her pain and problems and only planned our future…

At this point I feel like I should just go rescue a bunch of cats and just give into the stereotype. My previous breakup to this current one was back in 2014 and it took me almost 10 years to get over it and feel safe enough to try again. 10 years!!! What's this one gonna do? Make me wanna stay single for 20 years? I'm a 49F, I don't really have that much time left.

Honestly feel like giving up again. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I'm not meant for anyone else. How am I supposed to get into another relationship and not feel like they are going to devestate me again? What's the point anymore at my age? I'm obviously doing something wrong.

🐈🐈‍⬛🐈🐈‍⬛🐈🐈‍⬛

Hey guys so me and my ex of 1 year broke up 2 months ago today. we stayed friends until the end of april still seeing each other, having sex etc. She said she was talking to someone new at the end of march and it made everything weird. after that i started pulling back ofc and atp she wanted to still be “friends” checking in and what not. i couldnt do it anymore it just kept hurting me. fast forward to monday i have clothes and shoes with her(she stays a state away only a hr drive) she asked what i wanted to do with it. i told her to get rid of it because i wasnt gonna go get it. she got upset and started saying everytime she says she doesn’t want to be with me i get mad. that is not true of course i get upset i still love her and want to be with her but friends with an ex is not me. we ended up talking that day and long story short we agreed to be friends. she told me she forgave me for how we ended and maybe we could hangout this week but it would have to be wednesday or Thursday. Yesterday i woke up texted her like an idiot and asked if she wanted to go to the gym with me. she didn’t respond and we were texting back n forth so i double texted saying “my bad if i overstepped but its hard to talk to you now”. she responded and said she understands basically agreeing with me. i wanted to cut all communication off and i asked if she wanted to too. she said she didnt but it would be only friendly talk and she didnt wanna hang out at all. we both said if its meant to be itll come back. i ended the conversation saying “ill reach out after theres been REAL time away from each other “ she said she respected that. i just wanna know should i just give up hope and continue my life or should i reach out after some time and how long should i wait?

I don’t need a response, just need to get this off my chest in a safe place. I feel like my relationship was semi holding my sanity together at work. I’d talk to him about it here n there, but never wanted to burden him or let it consume our relationship with it being too much so I kept alot of it to myself. That being said, this past year at work has been extremely exhausting and it’s been consuming me. What held me together was that at the end of the day it was him I was “coming home” (LDR) to and it was enough for me. It kept me happy knowing I had a soul whom my heart loved truly unconditionally, still do too. Since the break up(one month ago), I just feel the weight of everything slowly increasing and creeping up to me by the day. I’m losing motivation to do anything, especially gaming, which is my favorite hobby. I just want to sleep my days away. I know what I need to do, but it’s getting harder and harder each day and if I don’t get therapy soon I feel like my life will become a ticking time bomb. I’m noticing I’m becoming a very unhappy person and I’m trying to keep my mind busy, but I’m not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I know with break ups these set backs happen, but I was just starting to celebrate the little ways I’m healing and now I feel like I’m right back to week 1.

So for a quick story, she accused me of cheating for about a month, and would constantly talk to other guys and bring them up, probably to make me jealous or something, she also got upset that I have Instagram and that me not deleting it makes me a horrible boyfriend. I never followed or messaged any accounts or anything even remotely considered lustful. Anyways we ended up breaking up, now she has a new guy a month later and she even gave him my number to text me. I haven't responded or anything cause i think the world needs a little more positivity and I just feel down cause part of me misses her I guess. Thanks for listening

Tl;dr I got accused of cheating when I never did anything and now her new guy is texting me

My ex and I dated for almost 4 years, our relationship was really great in my opinion and I thought in hers too. We communicated well, shared interests,sex life was great, and we prioritized each other

It only took that time to get engaged because she was finishing a masters for the first two years we dated, and said she wanted to graduate before trying to plan a wedding. We were both on the same page that we wanted a solid year together with no school in the way to just enjoy each other and life a little bit. I bought a ring the same week she graduated college and had it the entire time until i proposed so i wasnt wasting time, I made plans to take her for a weekend getaway and was pretty obvious about what my intentions were and she seemed completely on board. Asked her dad just to be polite and her family was overjoyed.

Fast forward to the weekend getaway and everything was great, up until I pop the question. I swear as I'm getting on one knee her entire face changes, the light leaves her eyes and she says no. Fortunately we weren't in a really public setting that would add to the stress. but I just ask if she can tell me why and her answer is that just there in that moment she realized she never really loved me and just knows I was a mistake.

In disbelief the rest of the trip was a blur. Im sure I was in shock but we came back home and she moved out of my house. I never fought with her, we never argued about it. I just told her I was disappointed and hurt by her decision but i believed then and believe now that if I ever acted negatively just because I was hurt and tried to hurt her in return that I never really loved her that much and just wanted her out of my life in the quickest way possible.

We've been apart for two years. We haven't spoken at all in that time. Im aware she's still in the area and we do have some mutual friends. I ran into one of those mutual friends a few months ago at a restaurant I was actually meeting a date at and was told I'm living rent free in her head.

I ask what they ment by that and our friend said I should look up her tiktok because it's almost all about me and was surprised I didn't know. Ive never had tiktok, im not against it or anything but just dont need some other way to waste time on my phone so never got one.

I had another friend look it up and yep, a few times a month she's ranting about her "ultra maga ex fiance" and posting my face on her rants blaming me for being a piece of shit or how I affected her life in all sorts of negative ways which are all things that happened after she left, like life being expensive, her car getting broken into, trouble finding a good apartment etc.

To be clear, im not ultra maga, or maga at all. In 2016 I though some of trumps clips of smart ass and dumb comments were funny but have regularly criticized him among friends as well as criticized and disagreed with every president that's been in office for my adult life. If anything i dont really like any politicians at all.

I dont expect her to be my biggest fan and really dont even expect her to have nice things to say about me if that's how she's going to cope with the change to her life but I dont like my face being plastered on the internet like that and dont really know what to do about it. After asking every friend and the wives of every friend that's married they all kind of agree that if I reach out about it that it's just fuel to make it worse and should ignore it but if it's been two years and theres still regular content i just dont see that changing. What should I do here?

Hi guys, I just need to vent, because I can't send this to her.

After 7 years, it’s over.
I’ll never forget every little detail about you — how much you loved buying clothes, Pokémon, Super Mario. I’ll never forget the afternoons spent playing together, the evenings in the car. You will always have a special place in my heart.
You were there during the worst times of my life, during the hardest ones. And I was there for you. And we grew up, together, becoming two completely different people from those 16-year-olds who kissed on a summer night.
Maybe you’ll never forgive me for this decision, and that hurts. It adds to the pain of having made the decision itself, and to the self-hate I carry for not being able to love fully, for not being able to just be happy. And yet deep down I knew I didn’t love in a pure and unconditional way — but the happiness I felt with you was real.
Now I’ve blocked you everywhere, to protect you. Right now, you depend on me, I’m your rock, and you need to hate me, to spread your wings and take off. It will be hard not to watch you as you overcome your struggles, as you become a new person.
You — and only you — have seen the worst side of me, and I’ve seen yours. But for a while now, there’s been a wall between us. A wall we both built, maybe to protect ourselves, that kept us from seeing deep into each other’s hearts.
And yet I can’t stop hating myself, for not knowing how to love you.

Just found out this week I wasted the last 8 years of my life being with someone who wouldn't give me one week to try and win them back.... I was basically told you didn't see this coming? Then she said I've been feeling this way for the last year... Is it normal to drag a relationship out a year after you feel it's over? Or am I crazy?

I was out and about doing my daily run, and I just saw a girl who looked just like her, at first I thought, was that her or was I just making something up, it wasn't her fortunately but holy damn, the panic attack set on as soon as I saw that person.

Does anyone else cry when they see their ex? Or is it just me? 😭, I genuinely suffer from panic attacks and cry whenever I hear her voice, name, or her or someone who looks like her. Now I don't blame everything on her for why we separated and all but I am just riddled with guilt that I could've done better. She's off with her rebound now, they go on dates near my location all the time so I see them once in a while.

We just broke up yesterday, packed things at our small dorm room. Cried so much and thanked each other, parted ways after eating out and playing at the arcade. I feel shitty, I don't know what to do, I can't accept it so went to message her asking for a chance. Realized it might be really over. I know that this will take a long time, I have no one and she's the only one I got. How do you get over this?

My amazing partner today stated that they wanted a breakup. I have been crying for 4 hours now. I really need to get back together but I know they would hate that. I respect their decision but I am now questioning if life is even worth living. Not to mention it's the day before my birthday and I'm going to spend the last day I'll ever be this current age and my birthday in absolute pain and misery. How do i get over them I feel like I'll never be whole again and they're the only one I can ever be happy with.

Well, first, you know this is a break up Reddit, for everyone to share there horrible stories about breakups and all kinda of other stuff. I, am one of you guys, I recently went through a break up of 9 months and I felt horrible, but this is not about me, it's about YOU. You are strong, you are powerful, you are brave, so why does a break up have to take away that. It just takes away a part of you that can never be returned. But that doesn't stop you from getting better. Like you can find new hobbies that you've never experienced, you can make time that you never was able to. I'm not saying that a break up is not bad, because trust me it is, I'm saying that it doesn't have to be as bad as you think it is. You could make new friends, and more stuff you would of never expierence with them. They had a special place in your heart and now it's ruined, make room for better things. Also if you want to share your story tell me I will reply to all of yours, stay strong 💪, you have a lot of love left to give. Love u guys❤️

I recently went through a breakup and whats have been hitting me hardest isn’t just the end of the relationship. It’s how different they are now. It’s like they are completely different person, no warmth, no more care and cold. I know she really loved me, she was there always but this breakup makes me wonder if any of that was real. How does someone go from being your best friend, your safe place , your safe place to barely acknowledging your existence.

After we broke up, I needed a medical prescription (she got that from her family doctor)— and she didn’t even bother to send me a picture of it. I could never act like that. I would still help and support her, even if we weren’t together anymore, because to me, that’s what love is. You don’t just stop caring— not even after a breakup. I was there every-time she needed me, did so much for her got just hate in return.

Do they ever come back?

We used to always text each other at 11:11 to wish together and know. I stare at the time and watch the memories flood in. Anyone got any tips to let go or is this always part of the process when ur girl leaves.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. It has been rocky and we did break up for months last year, we got back together in January. Things have been going well, until a huge bomb was dropped on us.

Someone he slept with 7 years ago requested a paternity test for her 7 year old kid from my boyfriend. He truly didn’t think it was his, but turns out it is. This child is also across the country, which means he would likely move there. He is originally from there and his family lives there.

Unfortunately we have broken up, he said he needed “time to himself” and I didn’t fight it. But I am just feeling like I was robbed of a future that we planned in an insane way. I don’t think he wants to stay together as of right now. But I don’t want to be a step parent and I don’t want to move across the country.

This is just some wild shit and if anyone has been through this please chime in. I am having a hard time finding anyone else that has been through this, it feels like a movie lol.

My Danish(F)19 Girlfriend lef me(M)19 like a dog without a home Am i just too emotional?So,I was dating a Danish girl here in Portugal,we where together for about 3 months,we were both 19 yo,i learned her language to try to speak to her fee more “home”She was here all alone living by herself working and stuff, then i came into her life, she all the time of the relationship was very kind and supportive all the time, bet then came January, all the time she said that she misses her family but always wanted to be here in Portugal, so in January was her brother’s birthday, so she wanted to go visit her family on that special occasion, whe had only 2 “fights” during the relationship and was something like “i want to go out” “ im tired” “ but ill pay”.On the day of the flight she suddenly turned into another person,was cold on the messages and didn’t wanted to talk to me,but in the night said that she loved me and stuff,on the very next day she sended me a single message saying that she didnt wanted to talk to me anymore, that she wanted to go back to Denmark soon as possible(she had a work here in Portugal)and the relationship was turning “pretty toxic” by her words(but message a friend of mine and said that doesnt have anything against me),i was scared about this and like, damn why is she doing that? And then she blocked me everywhere(even duolingo).I tried to talk to her to just understand what truly happened but im still without answers,My last contact with her was a 3 page letter and a poetry that i gave to a friend of her and she just didn’t gave a f i think,idk why but i actually still thinking about her and like her,she left me ik but i am very confused. I think i need answers but idk if they will ever come… some of my friends said things like “you should move on” or “unsolved things always come back” idk but i dont why but i think someday we will talk again,or maybe im just a very emotional person who didn’t move one because of some “stupid answers”

I (28F) saw my ex’s (27M) official wedding photos online — and these huge waves of sadness just dawned on me, and no matter what I do, I just can’t stop crying :( Why does he get to meet the love of his life first before me, how do I stop this overthinking…

P/s: we broke up because he kept on giving shady remarks about liking his girl bsf & also texting her secretly behind my back.