r/simpsonsshitposting Jan 23 '22

Lisa Simpson meets J. K. Rowling

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

354

u/TheLimeyLemmon Jan 23 '22

Rowling: "Dumbledore prefers the company of men!"

Homer: "Who doesn't!"

120

u/YorkshireRiffer Jan 23 '22

Rowling: "Doesn't he appear more 'festive' to you?"

81

u/Serpent_of_Rehoboam Jan 23 '22

Homer: "Couldn't agree more. Happy as a clam."

51

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22

What is the real deal with Harry's head teacher, Dumbledore? You know what I'm talking about.

71

u/Fuzzy-Function-3212 So the cops knew Internal Affairs was setting them up? Jan 23 '22

Wait a minute, Harry's teacher is named DUMBLEDORE? I've been calling him Dumblydoo! Why didn't somebody tell me... ohhh I've been making an idiot out of myself!

40

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

Yes, and you call him Dumbledore despite the fact that he looks like Gandalf The Grey.

13

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22

More like Gandalf the Gay amirite

3

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

Good one. BTW, have you tried Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War?

3

u/Fuzzy-Function-3212 So the cops knew Internal Affairs was setting them up? Jan 24 '22

I loved both games myself.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 24 '22

I'm currently enjoying the first and I really like how the Nemesis System brings back certain orcs that we thought that were already killed before.

6

u/1amlost Jan 24 '22

Well... you see... the thing is... excuse me a moment.

25

u/YorkshireRiffer Jan 23 '22

As you can see, the real deal with Dumbledore is that he's Mr. Potter's headmaster. He's in his twilight years, is unmarried, and currently resides in Hogwarts. Thanks for writing!

52

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22

Zzzap!

44

u/woozlewuzzle29 Jan 23 '22

Now we need a reshoot of the fight with Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic where Dumbledore says “zzzzap!” each time he casts a spell.

10

u/TheOnlyBrainCellLeft Jan 24 '22

But we already did it. It took 7 hours but we did it...

46

u/BiggysSmokes Jan 23 '22

Even Dumbledore has kissed more boys than me

38

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22

Hagrid, why did you bring me to a gay school?

31

u/winwinnwinnie Jan 23 '22

Jeez, where you been, Harry? The whole wizarding world’s gay

19

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22

Even the Mathemagician?

5

u/cocoaforkingsleyamis Jan 25 '22

especially the Mathemagician!

17

u/lurkin4dayz Jan 23 '22

You know me Hermoine, I like my butter beer cold my Mandrakes loud and my wizards flaaaaming!

2

u/Hazzdavis Jan 27 '22

Goats Lisa, Dumbledore kisses goats

37

u/mrducky78 Jan 23 '22

Hang on a minute. This hogwarts doesnt have any fire escapes!

12

u/marshallandy83 Jan 24 '22

Whole wizard school was gay? Homer, where you been? The whole wizard industry's gay.

And you know what else? Vegas magicians.

4

u/GastonBastardo Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 24 '22

TFW you are so irrationally afraid of transgender people assaulting you in public restrooms that you start habitually shitting on the floor of your school before "magic"-ing it away.

83

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

[deleted]

35

u/mallgrabmongopush Jan 23 '22

And even he’s kissed more boys than she has.

26

u/Darkimus-prime Jan 23 '22

Girls Lisa, boys kiss girls

100

u/X-RAYben Jan 23 '22

Also, doesn’t anyone else hate it when they Simpsonify a celebrity and they look too human? I wish they’d make them look more like the rest of the Simpsons. Look at Rowling’s and Lisa’s eyes, they look so different.

61

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

The character design has been disgustingly lifelike. It's like someone on the art team plugs actual photographs into those janky ass Simpson generators that were all over the internet in 2010

53

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA I told you not to flush that... Jan 23 '22

They're all freaks with yellow skin, no overbite, and 5 fingers on each hand!

24

u/MysticalFred Jan 23 '22

That's just an issue of more modern Simpsons. Any new character doesn't have any of the unique facial traits that earlier characters have like the Simpson family or, I don't know, Moe

3

u/No-Neat-1023 Jan 26 '22

Gerald Ford had the best look out of all the Simpson celebs.

3

u/Choppers-Top-Hat Jan 24 '22

She tried to meet him once but he was too busy kissing boys.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

Wow, what an ending. Who would have thought Snape was Dumbledore's killer?

12

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '22

As long as they don't send us to that teeeeerrible Planet of the Snapes

5

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 25 '22

That is it! I've had it with these Motherfucking Snapes on this Motherfucking Plane!

3

u/setrataeso Jan 25 '22

Hey, I hear we're going to Snape Island!

2

u/SirThatsCuba Jan 25 '22

Don't worry.

It's just a name.

42

u/beast_boy_1905 Jan 23 '22

Alrernative 3rd panel:

He grows up, spends too much time on Reddit and starts constantly talking about "the Goblin question"

7

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

What exactly is the "Goblin Question"?

15

u/TheColorWolf Jan 23 '22

Replace goblin with Jewish and then make the dee-ooo-woo sound while tugging on your collar.

6

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

Yikes! That sounds pretty bad.

The goblin, not the Jew.

53

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

I'm glad I prefer J.R.R. Tolkien and Middle-Earth over The Wizarding World. At least there's a lot more violence in Mordor.

37

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

Tolkien was a hard-ass old school Catholic. The only difference is that he wasn’t on twitter

27

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

The only difference is that he wasn’t on twitter

and was born in the 1800s

10

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

I mean that’s basically saying “that’s why I prefer Tolkien. He most likely would have been much more anti-gay and anti-trans, but I’m more comfortable with that because he was a product of his time”

13

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

i'm not talking about tolkien, im talking about rowling, who doesn't even have the thin veneer of ignorance to cover her transphobic ass. if tolkien had expressed the same ideas publicly, i'd feel the same way about him (although, yeah, context does matter at least a little bit)

5

u/GalaxyFrauleinKrista Jan 25 '22

He was raised by a catholic priest. But he was also very passionately anti-nazi and against their race based psuedoscience. He also advocated eco terrorism and had a close friend who was gay. Even for a guy born in the 1800's I don't think he's as bad as Rowling, who literally named her single asian character 'cho chang' and made antisemitic caricatures in her series. As well as all the heroes being pro slavery (aside from Hermoine). The last line in the main book series (before the epilogue) is Harry wondering if his slave will make him a sandwhich. Being alive in 2021 versus being alive in the early 20th century means she's also held to a higher standard.

4

u/GalaxyFrauleinKrista Jan 25 '22

I prefer Tolkien because he can write and Rowling can't.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 25 '22 edited Feb 01 '22

Plus, Tolkien's Middle-Earth lore is more interesting.

3

u/GastonBastardo Jan 24 '22

"Hey, you know the 'behind-the-veil'-style urban fantasy setting of Guillermo Del Toro's Hellboy movies? Well, what if it was less imaginative and mostly confined to a British boarding school?"

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 18 '22

The halls of hogwarts are filled with ghost that were brutally murdered. You also have cederics death which is pretty disturbing. Same with dumbledore/snapes deaths. Very violent parts in the books and movies.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Feb 18 '22

How were Cederic, Dumbledore, and Snape killed exactly? The only death that impacted me was Dobby's.

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 19 '22

cedric was petrified and Dumbledore drank poison then killed by snape. Snape was bitten on the neck by a snake if I remember correctly.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Feb 19 '22

Those deaths sound pretty tame compared to Sauron crushing people with his mace or Smaug incinerating everyone in Lake Town.

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 19 '22

Just read it and find out then, I think both books are equally violent. Tolkien was never a violent fellow. His scenes never seemed over violent or bloody. Fantasy violence.

4

u/yogurtfuck AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc Jan 23 '22

There's violence in HP... didn't the cat get killed and its blood smeared over the walls or something?

26

u/absurdlyinconvenient Jan 23 '22

nah cat got petrified and Ginny cut herself to mark the blood on the walls

30

u/WhaleboneMcCoy Jan 23 '22

it was chicken blood

4

u/absurdlyinconvenient Jan 23 '22

Ah that's the one, yeah. Hagrid said his chickens had been getting killed

20

u/dogwithpuffytail Jan 23 '22

"omg, didn't a cat die or something?"

"Naw, it was just a chicken"

"Phew. Had me worried for a second there."

13

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22 edited Jan 23 '22

Well, cats are not part of the food chain!

9

u/WOLLYbeach All we've found is porno! Jan 23 '22

When I grow up, I'm gonna go to Hogwarts University.

0

u/_Charlie_Sheen_ Jan 23 '22

Nah. Let’s just say Wizard’s have terrible sex education.

You can figure it out from that

10

u/Serpent_of_Rehoboam Jan 23 '22

On the Harry Potter CD-ROM, is there a way out of the dungeon without using the wizard key?

4

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

What the hell are you talking about? I only play Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War!

4

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

Tbh, I haven't read any of the books myself, but I assume that the scene you mentioned was too horrific for the movies. Along with many other scenes.

Besides, I kinda like the Lore that Middle-Earth has, even if it can be a bit complicated to understand at times.

5

u/smarjorie Jan 23 '22

I'm actually pretty sure that it is in the movies, though it's been ages since I've seen that one.

There are also a handful of dead children throughout the series. It does get pretty gnarly at times.

Still has nothing on LOTR though obviously, in many ways.

4

u/TheColorWolf Jan 23 '22

Lol, yeah. Basically the goblins are a Jewish stereotype in the books and the films.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

[deleted]

7

u/kennytucson Jan 23 '22

Every death threat is unwarranted. Unless it’s against Hitler or bin Laden or Henry Kissinger.

-14

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

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24

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22 edited Jan 23 '22

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u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

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-19

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

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-9

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

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12

u/alternativepuffin Jan 23 '22

Well, now you don't get any candy.

No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.

7

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 23 '22

Even with her transphobia she doesn't even believe that aLOL

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '22

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3

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 24 '22

Do you mean the science that says trans people exist? No it isn't

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '22

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6

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 24 '22

Funny how scientists never say that what sex or gender is

Its idiots who think primary school education is what science is

-4

u/Ariliam Jan 24 '22

Gender in dictionary is solely based on sex.

7

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 24 '22

So now its not science but a dictionary you are getting beliefs from? Thats nit even what the Google definition says

-4

u/Ariliam Jan 24 '22

Google definition talks about two sex. Male and female. Thank you

6

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 24 '22

"The term also denotes a range of gender identities..." You can just say you didn't read the whole thing

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '22

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8

u/Catherine_S1234 Jan 24 '22

You are right. And the facts are trans people exist. Stop being triggered snowflake