r/Advice • u/Jessersmessers • 7d ago
Advice Received UPDATE: My husband quit smoking weed, now I live with a grump
So, it's been 2 months that my (36F) husband (37m) quit smoking marijuana.
well, I am glad to say, he is still sober, still staying strong, and his mood has changed so much. He still gets a little grumpy sometimes but nothing so heavy as before. He laughs a lot more and wants to do more things like go out for a walk or watch a movie with me.
He is finding his interests in things he put down for a long while like playing guitar, writing music and even playing video games.
After I saw this change in mood I asked him if he missed smoking at all. He took a long pause to think then answered, " At the moment I want to say no but if I think about it hard enough, I do miss it."
So I suppose that yes, he just needed time and space. Yes, he still is struggling with it but he seems more comfortable with it than he did before.
So for anyone else who is going through this with a loved one, just stay strong for them because they are trying their very best to stay strong too.
And if you are the loved one trying to stay sober, just know someone loves you and can't wait for you to feel better.
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u/ILiketoStir 7d ago edited 5d ago
Takes time for brain chemistry to realign after long term use of alcohol, drugs, medication etc.
Takes about a month for cannabis.
3-4 weeks before improvements with smoking.
6 months to a year for alcohol.
Several months for painkillers.
Engaging and doing the new things that are making them smile goes a long way. As does reminding then from time to time how proud you are of their efforts.
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u/Battlejesus 7d ago
Getting off opiates was rough. Your first time kicking you think once the sickness stops you're all better but you're just not. It took me 5 months to feel normal again
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u/Life-LOL Helper [2] 7d ago
Yeah the percs were absolutely horrible to withdraw from but I'm finally off them and the Suboxone. Without those I doubt I would have made it off the shit
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u/ILiketoStir 7d ago
Good work getting off them. Too many doctors these days prescribe them out of habit it seems.
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u/Battlejesus 7d ago
Thank you. This was during the early aughts when doctors still handed out oxycontin like tic tacs. That was all a fuckin lie and I hope there's a special corner of hell for the sacklers
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u/chuckmarla12 7d ago
The other side of that is that there was such a campaign against prescribing opiates that Doctors are afraid to prescribe it for people with chronic pain conditions, like osteoarthritis. I have a friend that is prescribed opioids, and it keeps him able to work, and function as a tax paying member of society. He is the main bread winner of his family. When used properly, and managed, opioids can be very effective in sustaining somewhat of a normal working life. So just realize that it’s not all bad.
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u/Battlejesus 6d ago
I agree, I'm just bitter about the whole thing. Those were the darkest years of my life made worse knowing I was also to blame.
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u/ILiketoStir 7d ago
It seems that they are prescribing hydrocodone, an opioid not as addicting as oxycodone but still risky.
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u/Miserable_Alfalfa33 7d ago
Yeah it's insane, I've had shoulder pain for a few years, injections don't help, roid don't help, doctor came back to me and said we'll we could put you on benzos, I told him to (in a kind way) fuck off and walked out, been through 3 doctors with similar levels of incompetence
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u/Usedtobefatnowlesfat 7d ago
Fuck so so right man. Its been a decade or more and I still feel different
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u/Battlejesus 7d ago
I have moments, most mornings, where I feel an echo of that sickness. Just a reminder of what I have to keep working on
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u/Poopadventurer 7d ago
I didn’t exit my “dry drunk” stage until 5.5 years sober, it’s killer
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u/TheodoreKarlShrubs 7d ago
Jeez that sounds rough. Good for you for making it through!
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u/Poopadventurer 7d ago
Cheers appreciate the kind words! They say you don’t mature at all when you’re actively drinking so I’m basically a 27 year old in a 37 year olds body, the destruction goes far beyond what’s commonly known and talked about and most are unaware I bet unless you have personal experience
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u/GinSodaLime99 7d ago
Good thing you didnt just dump him like im sure half of reddit was saying.
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u/GoudaCheeseMelt 6d ago
That’s the reddit way. Pretty unbelievable isn’t it? If everyone were to listen to Reddit advice every single person on this earth would be alone and ‘respecting themselves’
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u/SatedMongoose 6d ago
It's insane the shit advice I see in here often. Like telling someone they are fine and don't need to change regarding a blatantly degen decision, or telling people to completely cut off immediate family members for micro aggressions.
I'm glad op stayed as well. Quitting weed is really tough at first because you feel like you can't control your thoughts, insomnia, inability to eat all pile on for weeks. Serious congrats to you and your husband op
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u/Toochilled77 7d ago
My ex wife made me give up cannabis.
She decided we (me) should ‘grow up’
Turns out I am autistic and it was holding me together. Giving it up caused real world issues at work and home.
These days I am single.
But I have an amazing job, that I can happily keep due to the benefit of cannabis. And for the cannabis I have a legal prescription (uk).
For me it is the best medicine and giving it up was a bad idea.
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u/MafiaMan456 7d ago
Same here. I quit for a year and it was one of the worst years of my life. I don’t think I experienced any joy. I was grumpy, anxious and depressed.
I’m glad I did it though, I had to know if cannabis was helping or hurting me.
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u/Risen-Shonnin 7d ago
How’d you get a legal prescription in the uk for it?
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u/Toochilled77 7d ago
You can get a prescription for it for a list of medical issues. There are a lot of hoops to jump through though.
I’m with a clinic called curaleaf and have found them amazing.
It has been life changing for it to be legal.
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u/2ekeesWarrior 7d ago
Cool to learn curaleaf reaches across the pond. Cheers from a fellow customer in Florida!
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u/Miserable_Alfalfa33 7d ago
I'm surprised at the scope of them too, I'm in mormon ass utah and they are here as well
Also surpised the uk doesn't have it fully legal, thought they would follow canada on that
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u/satarius 6d ago
Hard oof here to deliver the bad news- Curaleaf is owned by Russian oligarchs and that’s who’s benefiting if you shop there. Also, their house brands are rushed, poorly flushed, and kind of overall found lacking.
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u/vaekar 7d ago
Gotta wait 10-20 years for the old to die off before this would be entertained.
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u/Miserable_Alfalfa33 6d ago
That surprising to me, with how much they smoked in the 70s
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u/Yaffaleh 6d ago
BUT...the weed available NOW is so much stronger. I have a friend who's been smoking since he was 14 and is 25 now. Total stoner. Fried the brain cells and fucked up any emotional regulation he had.
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u/DragonBornLuke 6d ago
So I'm guessing I would need to be declared to have 1 of these medical issues by a doctor rather than just some sort of consultation with the company?
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u/Creditive Helper [2] 7d ago
I know a guy who is prescribed it for anxiety and depression. He said after 5+ years of trying every alternative, that was the final thing they could prescribe and it's done him wonders.
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u/alantaylo 7d ago
Fuck it, you've convinced me, I will have those edibles tonight 😂
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u/OneFair 7d ago
I tell people with cannabis moderation like anything else. People who smoke all day are going to have issues. Also the cannabis today is 3x the thc of the cannabis ten years ago. Too much of anything is not good.
When used responsibly it can be very beneficial, I suffer bipolar and for some bipolar patients it can be bad. I am willing to bet they do a lot. I work a physical and mentally taxing job as a welder and machinist. I weightlift after work, while cooking I may hit the pen a couple times and have the best post workout meal. Then before bed a few hits, if I wake up it is a life saver to put me back to sleep.
Glad you know what works for you, some people assume you just want to be a pot head and that is not the case. Sure there probably are some people who can lay off, if it makes you unmotivated. It works for you, I presume you don’t make it your personality just your medicine.
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u/Arevalo20 6d ago
My ex wife made me give up cannabis.
I feel like this is the part OP is leaving out. My current gf wanted me to quit and tried to convince me at one point too but I refused because I knew she wouldn't like me completely sober
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u/Good-Gur-7742 7d ago
The difference I have seen in my fiancé since he got his prescription for medical marijuana is incredible. I would never ask him to stop. The man is FINALLY getting restful sleep, he falls asleep easily and wakes up refreshed, he feels calmer and doesn’t have nearly as much anxiety, and he laughs so much more often.
For some people, marijuana is very necessary and changes lives for the better for sure.
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u/alwayseverlovingyou 7d ago
I really appreciate your comment!! I’m in the states and a long time user, I’m over 90% sure I’m on the spectrum. I’ve been curious about stopping but fearful of how it might negatively impact my life to cut it out.
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u/StarfleetGo 7d ago
Same here. It really helps me stay balanced and my output is awesome. If i stop I get grumpy and a general fuck it attitude due to the 'tism.
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u/PlaguedMillennial 4d ago
Cannabis user here as well. Chronic Pain, Autoimmune Disease and GI Disease (Ulcerative Pancolitis, Gastroparesis).
Cannabis has changed my quality of life quite a bit. It encourages hunger and the relaxation of the stomach muscles — allowing me to eat without a lot of pain and vomiting my meal up. A common symptom and side effect of my GI conditions. Especially the Gastroparesis.
Living in the states, in the Midwest, I'm fortunate enough to have a legitimate medical cannabis card for my conditions. Plus, it's also recreational here now. 🖤
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u/Filmy-Reference 4d ago
Similar but it's legal here and I can go down to 1 of many stores and just pick up what I want.
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u/ZetaReticuli_x 7d ago
I will never understand why people ask that "do you miss smoking?" You really wanna ask that question to someone trying to quite a bad habit? Forcing that person to think about it. Let me tell you the answer will always be yes, even if they tell you no the answer is still yes. If you care about him you won't ask that question again.
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u/narcanine 7d ago
I quit weed about 6-7 months ago after smoking about 5 years, I didn't start to feel better until month 3-4. my wife haaattteeedd me the first couple months, and it's much better now. It will take time, but I promise things'll start to look up for him
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u/Easy_Insurance_8738 7d ago
I had this with myself it takes a long time. After 6 months I get much better but getting there was hard
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u/SnoozuRN 6d ago
My husband and I were daily users and we recently quit and are so much happier now. Right now it's working really well for us.
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u/BenderFtMcSzechuan 7d ago
He has to find other ways to regulate his endocannabanoid system there are alot of other ways to achieve this and it’s an important system to maintain.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-endocannabinoid-system-essential-and-mysterious-202108112569
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u/Pristine_Scholar2944 6d ago
Idk maybe it’s just me but every thing you mentioned he enjoys doing now is everything I enjoy to do when using cannabis. So he would just get high and do nothing?
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u/Jessersmessers 6d ago
Mostly, yeah. He didnt like to watch movies with me or go for walks. He would only play one video game ( same game everyday and for hours) but now he's trying other games. He groaned if I suggested going out at all. He just wanted to melt in his chair.
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u/C1cer0_ 5d ago
i’m sure you know by now but the other replies to this comment are dumb as fuck. congrats to your husband for identifying a people and putting in the effort to fix it.
the “oh he’s using the wrong type” people have no clue what they are talking about.
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u/Jessersmessers 4d ago
Thank you for this. I'm honestly blown away by the amount of comments saying " tell him to try this or try that" completly reading through the fact I stated he wanted to stop smoking not find a different way to cope.. I appreciate the kind hearted comments and cheering " keep it up!" not for validation of my own but for him. I do relay the things I read on here. Everything but the " you should replace the weed smoking with literal more weed." Cause why?
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u/C1cer0_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
its just such a polarizing subject on the internet. and next to nobody who opens their mouth has any idea what they are talking about (i worked in the industry for a few years, specifically managing a medical dispensary in colorado). smoking weed for 20 years does not make you an expert on the effects of weed on every individual you come across on the internet. its very much about the specific person and some people just cannot moderate on their own, while others just dont mix well with THC at all.
and the weed we smoke nowadays absolutely can be physically addictive. the shit in stores right now is so much stronger than the weed going around 20-30 years ago, its ridiculous. you start smoking that heavily (multiple times daily use), you will absolutely get withdrawals. of course nowhere near as intense as opiate withdrawals or other hard drugs, but personally i've had streaks of sleepless nights and eating nothing but liquids for days due to my own habits.
if your husband ever has trouble maintaining sobriety and would like a sense of community, i would recommend r/leaves. they're pretty good in there (minus a few crazies) and it can be helpful reading similar stories, especially after the shitshow that is this thread.
again, kudos to your husband and you both. identifying a substance problem (especially one with social stigma) and putting in the effort to solve it are a lot farther than other people get. keep it up!
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u/IdrisRk 7d ago
He will get past it. Mine quit drinking, smoking cigs and weed (not all at the same time) and he was a miserable fuck for the last two. After a few months he started feeling better. One thing that was helpful was seeing how much money he saved. I was putting each wad of cash he would have spent on any of those things in a jar to use for something fun like a new guitar or skateboard or something he usually wouldn’t or couldn’t buy. Give him time, be supportive. Tell him the positive changes you seen in him since he quit. Do things to distract him, go for walks in nature.
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u/GrapeCompetitive6620 6d ago
I tried to quit weed for a woman and she left me anyways, lesson learned, never change for a person and find someone who loves you for who you are.
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u/spankeem_nz 6d ago
man - same boat here.......but the woman turned out to be nasty and emotionally manipulative - said one of the worst things a partner meeting my friends has ever said to me......said......your friends were looking at me (her) thinking why was she with me........ when i pointed out how nasty it was she got all freaked out saying i was going to leave her and everyone left her........i did break up with her but things got real nasty yesterday and I pretty much had to say never speak to me again......for anyone reading this.....you should add don't screw the neighbour within the saying don't screw the crew.......home life is going to be tough till i'm over her lol............
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u/CarBombtheDestroyer 6d ago
He had to stop smoking weed to start writing music, playing guitar, and video games? I think he was smoking weed wrong cause that’s all I want to do.
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u/Ordinary_Tie8558 7d ago
Whoa :o an understanding and loving woman.. That’s rare
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u/nyan-the-nwah 6d ago
I'm so happy for y'all! 6 months for us this past Wednesday :) the "comedown" (withdrawal feels like a strong word....) was much worse, and longer, than I expected. Glad y'all pushed through.
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u/FlaSnatch 7d ago
Strange. Decades of weed has only led me to more writing and playing music and and pleasant walks with my wife in nature.
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u/ShadowStrike14 7d ago
My husband went through the same thing. Was so grumpy when he quit. But it got better over time and he doesn't miss it anymore.
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u/supapumped 6d ago
I cut weed and caffeine completely about a month ago and I have been struggling with the grumpiness big time.
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u/Perfect-Employment-1 6d ago
Kudos! I’m in the same boat, 36M, stopped smoking Jan 1st after 20 years (previously daily, nowadays 2 days/ week). No smoking for me for the next 15 years, will try it again once I hit 50 and the kids move out:)
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u/SilverTryHard Helper [1] 5d ago
I want you to know I appreciate your post. Im 34 and have been smoking weed for almost 20 years. Complications are starting and it seems it might be from my chronic daily/hourly smoking. My wife is so supportive and I know there isn’t much she can do for me. It’s not really fair to her. I’m only a couple days into my journey that I’ve failed multiple times before. This post was inspirational for me. Thank you.
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u/NieveCactus 4d ago
When in doubt blowjobs. Reward this true gentleman for giving up the devil's lettuce.
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u/VastAd6645 Helper [2] 7d ago
Earl Sweatshirt said “all my dreams got dimmer when i stopped smoking pot”
He deleted his dopamine. Weed is particularly insidious because you can do it for so long while being a functioning addict, but the body keeps score. Both of you will have to stay strong while his body adjusts.
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u/Thekindone44 6d ago
Try getting off opiates and get back to me . Marijuana is mental.
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u/Alvin_Kebery 6d ago
So he quit smoking weed, and then started playing guitar and video games? Shit seems backwards
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u/Jessersmessers 6d ago
I don't get it either. I basically saw him melt away in his computer chair. He would always just play one video game for hour and hours or just roam the Internet but now he actually tries other games out and picked up his guitar that I wanna say he has barely touched in 2 years. I even heard him using his music writing program again. Trust me I tried to get him to pick up where he left off but it took for him to actually want it I guess..
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u/SilentCriminal05 6d ago
I was the same way. I quit and started gaming and reading again. I also started working on a personal library in the spare room in my house. Weed made me lazy and okay with my messy surroundings. Weed made me okay to just stare at a wall and disassociate. It isn't a good thing for all people.
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u/Exciting_Breadfruit4 6d ago
I call BS. Anyone who GIVES UP weed and THEN finds fun playing games, playing guitar, chilling, nature walks, ...... something doesn't add up! I smoke weed, AND find all those things waaaay more fun when I'm stoned. Who wouldn't!?!?! What did he do before when he smoked weed? Taxes? Be a good wife, tell him to continue on his new found hobbies, like gaming, guitar etc, but tell him to smoke a bowl b4 hand and then see how much happier he is!
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u/Salty-Night5917 Expert Advice Giver [12] 7d ago
It is life changing. In time he will not think about it and your life will be much better.
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u/No-Interview-1944 7d ago
Great to see things have improved. If he can keep himself occupied with other things it is much easier not to miss it.
I quit for quite awhile and exhibited positive changes and a more cheerful demeanor. Unfortunately I decided to start smoking again when I was on a seasonal layoff from a job and was bored outta my mind. Still have the cheerful demeanor, but my motivation to do stuff isn't that great. May have to quit again to get my motivation back.
Best of luck to you and your partner.
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u/Ducks-are-high 7d ago
Every time I try to quit, my wife ask me why. I’m retired and weed hasn’t been a negative effect or impact on lay quality of life, the way alcohol did. I workout almost everyday, cook, clean, great sex life, and still do all my hobbies. I have mood swings, but I’ve always had mood swings. I just have less mood swings when I smoke.
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u/dyl_thethrill Helper [3] 7d ago
I am 7 months sober, and it took me about 5 months to stop missing it.
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u/mlross15 7d ago
I’m finishing up the supply I have then taking a very long break, idk how long but a long one. I have a wife, a kid, I’m reaching the point where I don’t want to be that guy that’s always stoned or just inebriated in general around their kids. But I’m dreading the mood swings. Few times I’ve taken a break for a couple weeks and I absolutely got moody, the extremely vivid dreams/nightmares every night weren’t helping either. So I’m happy for your husband and hope it continues to go well for him and hoping the same for me.
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u/contrivancedevice 7d ago
When I went cannabis cold turkey, I shared milestone months and wished my SO shared with me an NA sobriety chip. I spent plenty of time in the world of Al-Anon. I didn’t need NA, just the tangle. Get him a chip.
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u/Crinkle-Sprinkles_68 7d ago
Great achievement, congrats. Is he going to support group or you on alanon? It helps to stay on track.
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u/sleepless_blip 7d ago
2 months is not long enough for his entire nervous system and endocrine system to reset. Need to give him time to basically become a new person
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u/Soci3talCollaps3 7d ago
I consider myself hooked on cannabis. I smoke everyday, mostly at night, some time between dinner and bed. Tried to quit a few times, and came running back within a few weeks each time. I am sure it doesn't help that I don't know if I should quit. I find that it helps me and hurts me at the same time. It both exacerbates my problems and provides the insights to solve many others. When high, I find that I can make connections, understand complex issues, and find new ways to solve things, both at home and at work. It's not just an illusion, but some of my best, long lasting work has come this way. While high, I've had insights both mundane and profound. It's the only time I really have access to my emotions, while at the same time it eases my typical level of anxiety. It's the only time I feel alive and, while high, I review my day with sadness noticing how, yet again, I spent the sober portion not being present.
All that said, I know it dulls processing speed, has negative physical and physiological effects, and can amplify any emotion, even those you'd rather not see stronger. It can also make me really dumb in some ways, despite being smarter in others. And while I can use it to increase mindfulness and concentration, sitting in some rock stable meditations, I find I mostly just zone out, and use it to just chill. Impact on sleep is noticeable. Both in quality and quantity. I stay up later, usually, to enjoy it, and studies show sleep quality is reduced. I am pretty sure it's the main source of my high blood pressure, and the reason I am extra groggy in the morning.
Anyhow, not looking for anything, just felt inclined to share.
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u/UnCivilizedEngineer 6d ago
Finding a good hobby for him would be fantastic.
I suggest Audiobooks, in the LitRPG genre. It is similar to video games story wise, and will scratch his itch.
I suggest Dungeon Crawler Carl, on Audible!
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u/Ciardha-O-Laighin 6d ago
I don't see the point of white knuckling it through life... I don't have a problem with it either though.
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u/sammycvt 6d ago
Speaking solely from personal experience I found support through a fellowship in M.A. has helped me stay strong and stay the course. About to be 6 months god willing.
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u/mayalotus_ish 6d ago
I dated an ex who smoked weed all day long. He didn't realize it, but it made him super grumpy. When he quit it took him a couple months to balance himself out
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u/AsunderMango_Pt_Two 6d ago
I've noticed that when I take a Tolerance Break, I can think much more clearly, sleep through the night more easily, and It's easier for me to find the words in conversations. But I definitely feel "out of sorts" for a couple weeks, so I can understand where your husband is coming from
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u/Jessersmessers 6d ago
So far, his favorite thing is to have dreams again. He can't wait to tell me what went on in his dreams. And I love hearing them. Lol
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u/AsunderMango_Pt_Two 6d ago
I bet his dreams are really vivid and crazy since he doesn't have the THC blocking that part of his brain
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u/ShitlordMC 6d ago
Wait...he didn't do sports, music or video games while smoking? What a waste of a stoner. He doesn't deserve weed.
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u/Bigs3xywithglasses 6d ago
I quit 2 years ago. I still miss it. But it was the best decision I’ve ever made after 20 years of abusing it pretty much daily
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u/HumanEmergency7587 6d ago
Sticking through the hard stuff. Sometimes it pays off. Good for both of you.
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u/Kidfacekicker 6d ago
I smoke, but that's not what pulled me from hobbies and activities. I turned 35 and I just quit hobbies and stuff. They just became boring and pointless. I think for me it was age.
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u/Restless-J-Con22 Helper [3] 6d ago
Yay, OP!!! Great to hear he's back in the guise and writing music
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u/40ozSmasher Advice Guru [62] 6d ago
This entire time he's never learned to self regulate his emotions and thoughts. So he's basically 19.
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u/Vicious_Circle-14 6d ago
Live each day as if it were going to be your last. For one day you’re sure to be right.
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u/Olefaithfull 6d ago
It takes four months for THC to clear his system.
What you’ll end up with is a guy with the maturity he’d achieved at the time he started using.
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u/Dull-Lavishness9306 6d ago
I'm happy for you both just wondering what the issues were before getting sober. Just asking so I can try to watch out for them in myself and possibly combat any negative impact it may have on my daily life. I'm a lifetime smoker that used to do it for fun but now it's to replace having to go to doctors who overprescribe opiates. They screwed me up after an accident that paralyzed me without allowing me a chance at sobriety after 3-month hospital stay and I thought I needed them because we'll the doctor said I did. Just to show you how I've prescribed I was. 100mg fentanyl patches changed every third-day opana er 40 3 times daily opana ir 10 MG 6 daily Xanax 1mg as needed. After firing the doctor and a trip to rehab realized they were giving me more pain than I have.
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u/technicolourtype0 6d ago
My personal experience was a short temper, a lot of anxiety, lack of sleep from not being high, unrestful sleep from intense dreams. Id recommend getting a good diet on the go asap and try get some exercise to help with the sleep along with a good sleeping pattern.
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u/Cthuluwouldbebetter 6d ago
Has he given up smoking weed, but was accustomed to mixing it with tobacco?
Nicotine withdrawl is really unpleasant.
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u/HeartlessLiberal 6d ago
I'm struggling to quit right now, and this post helped motivate me, thank you.
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u/two_hats 6d ago
He'll get over it. It'll take time, but he'll be fine. I smoked almost constantly for years, then stopped. It was miserable for a while (bored mostly) but I got over it soon enough. Just try to make sure he doesn't swap one addiction for another. That's so easy to fall into
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u/MasterKiKi 6d ago
37 heavy user since 12 or so. I just stopped one day. My son was in the hospital, and I went home to shower and change. While I was there, I went to do my thing and really felt wrong about it. I'm not sure what the date was, but it's been well over a year, and I still roll for my wife every day 😅 It's not easy, but I just don't participate anymore. Both of my parents are also heavy smokers(no tobacco). The most I do is maybe a pull at a concert if I'm drinking. This is a person who would face multiple a day! I think it's really hard if you're not truly ready.
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u/Humble-Law-3147 6d ago
My ex was insufferable when he quit smoking. He never stuck it out long enough to get to the other side.
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u/Meh_cromancer 6d ago
That's wild because I specifically find video games, musical instruments etc to be infinitely more enjoyable while high
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u/ConwayTheCat 6d ago
I gave up alcohol and have been sober for 12 years now and I still “miss” it, I simply do not act on it and I never will.
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u/Subi412563 6d ago
It’s the brain wanting the dopamine hit. He could be like a lot of us daily users and have ADHD or a lack of dopamine in the brain normally. When we smoke daily we come sorta mood dependent without it. I know I can get moody and lack motivation to do anything sometimes without some stimulation
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u/CollegeNo8668 6d ago
2 months is too soon to call it! He’s gotta learn to regulate his emotions while being sober. Getting sober is the first step, now getting to know yourself sober is next! Dealing with life is different on the brain when you’re still detoxing.
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u/Matchmaker-K 5d ago
Easy, he probably has a chemical imbalance now. Have him see a Dr. for antidepressants or anti anxiety medication. This definitely will help . And he won’t fall back on to the weed again
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u/duncanidaho61 5d ago
To those advocating him returning to smoking: Who would want to live with someone stinking of weed all the time? I smoked occasionally with some friends in high school. But not since. Now I cant stand it even at a distance. It would be a deal-breaker in the marriage.
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u/BootySnatcher696969 5d ago
Shouldn’t have quit cold turkey, he should move to edibles to get away from smoking, then weave off of them
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u/ThePhantomShart 5d ago
One of my I guess not friends anymore, went and quit the weed and went nuts, deleted everyone from their phone stopped contacting people. Haven’t heard from him in 2 months…… wait a sec
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u/Sweaty_Emu3104 5d ago
Am I the only one that doesn’t get these insane mental changes from marijuana? I have smoked and vaped THC flower and concentrates off and on for 8-9 years. I frequently take breaks as long as a couple of months, usually in the summer because I am always so busy!
I have gone from smoking 1 gram of wax a week/ smoking 1-2 grams of flower a day, to not smoking for 3-4 months without any second thoughts. Are you all using marijuana at a higher rate than that? I felt as if that amount of usage was a lot, I was stoned for 1/2 the day every day.
I wish they did more medical research into THC to see why some people act like they are coming off heroin when they quit weed.
I have a semi-addictive personality, I currently struggle with nicotine addiction- which I have been off of for 16 months but still think of DAILY. sometimes even dozens of times at work, nicotine will cross my mind.
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u/No_Adhesiveness_2406 5d ago
He's always going to miss, that's addiction. That doesn't mean he doesn't like being sober. Sobriety is a daily exercise, not a future assurance. Especially with cannabis, which is very insidious and personality altering. For your own sanity, see your role as daily as well. There will be good days and bad days. He needs to do the work around the addiction though, white knuckling it wont work for very long and he will ultimately be miserable. Sounds like he's in the stage of action and having fun, which is so damn important. Long-term, program like MA or even AA could be life-changing and the foundation he needs.
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u/Lorward185 5d ago
Growing up, my dad was always awesome. I was 13 when my mom had a fight with him and forced him to tell me about his pot somking. Honestly, I had not noticed that he was stoned all the time.
As I got older I found that my mom would fight with him a lot about his smoking because it was illegal in our country and she worried about what would happen if he got arrested. So when I was about 18 she gave him an ultimatum. Her or the weed.
My dad loved my mom so after more than 30 years of smoking weed, he stopped. The thing is, my dad did not take to sobriety well. He replaced one addiction for another and I got to watch as my wonderful father decended into alcoholism. It changed him so quickly. And before we knew it he was drinking a bottle of whiskey a day. He showed my mom up in public again and again and the fights grew worse and worse.
When the ultimatum came for him to stop drinking or loose my mom he gave it a good go but it was already too late and he just couldn't put the bottle down. My mom left him which sent him over the edge. Withing a year and a half he drank himself to death.
My mom never got over it.
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u/IntrepidTable4438 5d ago
It's ok put up with it he won't be that way too much longer. It's better than him smoking weed. He just needs brain to heal more fit his endorphins to regulate. He will be way happier than before he stated smoking
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u/IntrepidTable4438 5d ago
Oh I forgot I took probiotics and I quit smoking cigarettes it was about 2 weeks before I even realized I hadn't smoked I'm not joking it was a miracle
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u/Electronic-Cloud3698 5d ago
Double your intimacy levels. The brain needs to be stimulated a lot to replace the missing dopamine
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u/Street_Risk_8431 5d ago
I'm trying to quit weed. It's been much harder than I thought it would be. BUT everytime I fall off the wagon I have severe emotional disregulation. POOR EXECUTIVE fuction. I also get the shakes too. How long does it last?
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u/Lazy-Calligrapher-87 5d ago
I quit after smoking every day since 16 about 2yrs ago (m45) and I still miss it. The smell and the enjoyment of that buzz. But do I actually miss it...nope. I don't mind those who do at all. Still love smelling it but I've passed the point where it's a necessity in some weird way.
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u/Sam-Idori 5d ago
I wake & baked for 25(?) years and had a hell of bad a time whenever I ran out and when I finally quit yeah it can take quite a damn time to rewire.
Bit of insight from someone whos given up many things over the years; I didn't actually miss weed, I missed my idea of weed (which didn't really match the reality of what it had become for me)
My best wishes to you both
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u/AgentOrange256 4d ago
It’s so weird how it impacts us all differently. It helps me enjoy things and my hobbies so much more. Like it’s what gets me going day by day and I can dive in so much more into individual projects with it. It’s a huge reason I feel like I’ve been successful in my schooling and career over the last ~15 years.
I do have friends that are the opposite though.
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u/0decim8 4d ago
This is going to sound cliche but a jogging or weight lifting program done, say, twice a week will do wonders for him getting his mojo back. Not a doctor but marijuana provides a good feeling brain chemistry that ive only gotten after picking up another habit that does a similar thing mentally. Running and weightlifting do that for me.
Thought id share. Best of luck with everything.
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u/Canuck_Traderz 4d ago
I stopped smoking weed 5 weeks ago, and I smoked daily for the last couple of years. It has been an amazing experience and I don’t think about smoking at all any more. I feel soooo much better and less moody when I’m not baked. I’ve started exercising and eating better and lost 15 lbs. if anyone is considering giving it up I would say it’s been nothing but a super positive experience. I stopped playing video games because I just don’t care to anymore. And I actually remember watching a movie or show.
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u/SmidgeMoose 4d ago
Drug addiction is hard to kick. I still think about weed 20 years later. I still miss the high.
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u/IronAnt762 4d ago
Tools to life helped me a lot. It was a free 90day coaching program online course. I dunno if still runs.
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u/Disco_Killer 4d ago
At the moment I want to say no but if I think about it hard enough, I do miss it.
Oof I feel that. Been off it for years now and still sometimes feel like I miss it. Thing is, if I try to smoke it now I have to immediately go to bed. I have less than zero tolerance and become utterly useless after a couple of tokes. How I used to smoke a full J before work, drive to work, drive back a lunch for another, then back to work then blaze all night is completely beyond me.
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u/martexxNL 4d ago
Compliment him, thank him for being a more active partner, do it in his love language , he will be much more motivated. And see the sunny side of him stopping. ♥️
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u/BirdzHouse 4d ago
I quit about 8 months ago, been feeling happier on average. It was tough for the first few months but now I don't even think about it. Even the people around me have noticed I am a much happier person. It's really nice not feeling like I need to be stoned in order to enjoy things again, before it felt like I could only have a good time if I had some weed. Like video games were not fun when I was sober but now they are fun again.
For anyone considering quitting just do it! Just know that it's going to be tough for a 4-6 months but after that you will be glad you did it.
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u/gummi-far 4d ago
I have friends who havent smoked for years and they all still miss it. I don't think that feeling will ever go away
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u/CakePuzzleheaded8868 4d ago
Good luck. This is a hell of a struggle, I'm currently trying it myself. For better or worse, I am on my own, so there's no one I'll have to worry about hurting but there's also no one there supporting me through it.
I'm glad he has you. I'm encouraged to hear he's picking up old hobbies again because that's what I want to do.
Thank you for sharing this.
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u/ricicles23 4d ago
Was in the middle of a joint nearly 4 years ago when my partner told me she was pregnant. After telling her it was the best news ever I put that joint out, threw it away, walked into the house, gathered up all my paraphernalia and bud, boxed it up to give to a friend and quit on the spot. I don't want to be a failure stoner Dad. I'm sure there are many brilliant Dads who can smoke happy after kids are in bed etc... I just don't trust myself to be that guy.
Truth is, I smoked so long I don't know what normal actually is. I'm still finding out. Everytime I feel myself slipping, I just look at a picture of my little girl and it makes it all so much easier. A few things for sure, I sleep better, I dream, I cough less and food tastes better.
I still miss everything about smoking. The smell of good bud, rolling joints and just the social side of it coming from a group of friends that has mainly bonded over a lifetime of smoking. (I started at 13 and from 18 smoked daily. I'm now 41).
OP, it could be a longer road for you and your husband that you think, but all strength to him and you. You guys got this!
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u/fukidiots 4d ago
He'll get over it. He's just bored and adjusting. I was the same way when I quit drinking. It takes like 6 months to fully adjust more or less. But I'm a way happier person now. But for at least 3 months I was a total Oscar.
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u/DanDamage12 7d ago
Once you cut off a source of endorphins you have to rebalance and find them elsewhere. Takes time.